Describe a man with enemy standing orders to “Flee on sight” from him

Describe a man with enemy standing orders to “Flee on sight” from him

A very, very small girl with a very, VERY large weapon, and a perpetual smile on her face.

A short, tanned, slightly fat man. He wears nondescript robes and carries no weapon. His flatulence, however, can kill entire armies, and if you get close, it's already too late. Flight is your only chance.

Black male, early twenties, last seen wearing a hoodie.

A tall middle aged white woman of of average description wearing a quality suit and fedora.

Why you gotta diss my man Wario like that?

"Dare you enter my magical realm...?"

A sunburnt country bumpkin that wears simple, dirt-specked clothed. He is friendly to all save for those who cause meaningless destruction to mother nature.

He is an exceptionally reasonable man, even understanding that legions might need to clear swathes of land for protection or to create an alternate route.

Unfortunately, your commanding officer hollowed out the druid's Great Tree despite the mage's advice, and this yokel is angry as hell. Legend has it that he can command flora to grow and move at will, and that he is absolutely tireless.

>ENEMY
>LU
>BU

If you are unsure if that's him, it's not him.

He's about 12 feet tall

Believe it!

Bald, white male, maybe six feet.
Hasn't said a word and might be a vampire.

a man covered in grey fuzz. if you get close enough to identify the substance on him, it attacks. (hint, its spiders)

An otherwise unremarkable middle-aged man in a button up shirt and slacks, with a poorly color-coordinated tie. He has horn-rim glasses, a well kept if not particularly flattering moustache, and his brown hair is beginning to bald slightly.

He is also carrying an antique model 1873 Winchester Repeating Rifle, with a stock depicting a strange series of interlocking symbols carved into the wood. On the barrel the words "Seven, Eleven, Thirteen, Ever Building Ever Upwards" are inscribed in a faint red pigment.

Sounds like...

A little bald wrinkly smiling man.

A 10-foot tall man clad in welded shut Maximilian plate armor. Upon his pitch-black armor, painted in gold and red letters, is the words 'Fuck You' repeated in every language.

Especially if he's got his broom with him...

Every language? Like, even ones that don't exist yet?

Accounts are contradictory at best; Some say he's just a normal man, some say he's a force of nature, some say she's a woman - but one thing is certain: the letters IRS are emblazoned on their armor or article of clothing. Flee, before they audit you and deem you guilty of tax evasion!
>Battle Taxmen and Taxwomen are no joke

As new languages are formed, its armor groans and lengthens.

Yeah, dude is a time traveling Rosetta Stone for swearing. We decoded about 12 long dead languages with his help, and have identified at least 26 future languages. Apparently Spanglish becomes an actual official language at some point.

Came to post this

They call him the Long Shadow.

No one has survived encountering him.

>implying making the enemy run away isn't part of the path to victory
laughingcauldron.png

He consumes all

...

In every single language that has ever or will ever exist the armor looks more gold and red than black. To actually read the writing you'd need a magnifying glass. Despite this if you can see him you know instinctively what is written on the armour and that he means it towards you personally.

...

...

BRAAAAAP

A plain-looking man, bald and with a five o' clock shadow. Has a friendly demeanor and smile, and wears clothing fit for a peasant or travelling merchant.

Young lad from the town. Really wants to be an adventurer and admires the party. Is a nice guy but doesn’t understand when conversations are supposed to be over. Oblivious to any attempt to exit conversation by the party and only comes around in areas where his murder would be witnessed by the town guard.