Sup Veeky Forums, just got back from playing a game of Tails of Equestria. Want me to storytime it?

Sup Veeky Forums, just got back from playing a game of Tails of Equestria. Want me to storytime it?

Other urls found in this thread:

derpibooru.org/310341
mediafire.com/file/rztg6a02irj36o4/Tails of Equestria (scan).pdf
twitter.com/AnonBabble

Sure

Please get beaten to death you fucking fuck
derpibooru.org/310341

No, not really.

I'll bite.

Alright, so we started off creating our characters. I was Lossy Lens, an alcoholic pegasus mare talented at photography, while my buddy who is not into pony at all decided to go as El Guapo, a Jewish unicorn stallion with a pentagram cutie mark who could summon a falcon named Luci (short for Lucifer).

Do it fagit

>not into pony at all
How'd you convince him to play.

bleed out faggot

We started out in the marketplace, buying some groceries. Since I was an alcoholic piece of shit, I decided to buy myself a handle of vodka, while my acquaintance Guapo bought himself a half pound of dog meat. Suddenly, El Guapo found a bunny with red eyes hopping into his saddlebag and chewing away at the dog meat.
Beer, and I just told him it was a tabletop, and he'd never played one before.

Take your autism back to /v/ faggot

die in pain

Did you have gay sex before or after the game?

Hey, Lee, isn't there a dog you need to fuck?
Anyway, Guapo rolled to grab the bunny out of his bag, and was able to succesfully grapple him, removing him from the bag. The bunny glared at us with hateful eyes. A yellow pegasus with a pink mane approached us while we delegated what to do with this thief. The pegasus introduced herself as Fluttershy, and noted the bunny, whose name was Angel appeared to like us (he scowled at this remark), and invited us to her house the next day for a job. El Guapo, being Jewish piped up that we accepted before I could get a word in edgewise. That night, I drank all the vodka in the house while Guapo attempted to hide it from me.

What kind of system is ToE? Was it fun to play? And if it is, how easy would it be to convert to some other setting?

...

Of course it's the brony that tries to slander others to try to cover up their own alleged pedophilia.

It’s a very basic system, with the primary stats being mind, body, and charm. With the sum of your mind and body being your hit points. Great for beginners really.

>not fucking while playing with your bros
Anyway, give me a few minutes while I have a smoke and mix a drink, I will brb
Well, it's a system that relies on dice, so there's that. I'm pretty new to tabletop myself, so I habe no clue. My GM (who might attend the thread a bit later) plans on writing his own campaign for us next week, so I don't know how difficult it would be to adapt. We made up some rules as we went along.
Barneyfag, I posted about this game here last week, and people said I should storytime it. Fuck off.

How many screenshots like that do you have, this is almost as cringe worthy as bronies themselves.

No, and thank you for asking ahead of time.

TAILS of Equestria

Hide the thread if you aren't interested, I'm doing this for people who requested it when I talked about it in tthe first place.
A quick note about our quirks: the GM decided that I would have lower starting bits and that El Guapo would be greedy, as is becoming of a jew.

Alright, so the next morning, El Guapo and I head over to Fluttershy's cottage. I drink vodka the whole way there. When we get there, we meet the Mane 6. Naturally they introduce themselves, then ask us to pet sit for them while they go to solve a friendship problem in the badlands. I don't take this too well, and decide to badmouth Princess Twilight. El Guapo, not wanting to miss an opportunity to generate money, quickly covers my mouth with his hoof and accepts the job. The Mane 6 are greatful, and begin talking about a pamper party fof their pets. Twilight claims she will give us a fantastic award for our trouble. Quite frankly, I don't give a shit, and start to flirt with Rarity, thinking she looks like she would be willing to have a fun time.

>this is almost as cringe worthy as bronies themselves.
not really, faggot

For those not in the know, ToE only has three main stats, body, mind, and charm. They are as simple as they sound. To succesfully flirt with Rarity, I have to roll a 4+ on a d6 three times in a row. I succeeded once, and then failed. She turned away, uninterested. I then began bitching at Twilight for raising the alcohol tax. Guapo decided to kick me in the vagina to shut me up, but critically missed, eating the ground, and receiving a swift kick in the snout instead. Twilight, however, was too busy saying goodbye to her precious owl instead. I decide to scream loudly at her l, questioning the alcohol tax and claiming that I never voted her into office at all.

Hey, Lee Goldson, I know your mew email. You want vendettafag on your back again? People know your address, retard.

Sounds like a simplified Mario RPG. Does ToE also use the trait system it has?

Barneyfag is a legend, you should respect him.

>the bronie revolution will rize up against the non-believers!
>love and tolerance foreverz!
kys

I’d like state for the record that this was my first time as a gm, and only my third time playing a tabletop rpg. I did the best I could, but I ended up having to make up rules on the fly. The most important thing for me was that the players were having a good time.

Each player starts with a racial trait (fly for pegasi, telekinesis for unicorns, and idk for earth ponies) as well as a player selected talent. Guapo's talent was summoning, mine was an artistic talent of photography. Hopefully, my GM could clarify on my exact trait, since I know he is ITT.

Are we about to do some old school raid shit?

Veeky Forums doesn't do that sort of thing and never has

The trait/stat levels work based on the increments which the dice increase in. So a character with Fly 4(lowest level) rolls a d4 for a flying skill check. The next level would be Fly 6, so they’d roll a d6, Fly 8 would roll a d8, etc. up to a d20

True, I forget Veeky Forums is "newer" than other boards that have done that, old habits and such.

I still think that was a waste of a talent.

This.

Surprised to see Lee outside of /co/. Does he have a sixth sense for this shit?

His dox are on Kiwifarms, if you really want them.
Anyway, Twi calmly explains to my drunk ass that Mayor Mare is in charge of Ponyville taxes and she simply deals with friendship matters. They leave us in Fluttershy's cottage, which they expect to be left clean. After they leave, I note the house smells deeply of cat piss, and wonder how they expect us to clean it up.
Hey, I got a nice shot of Flutter's horsepuss.
Leave it to Lee to be unable to detect sarcasm. You belong i special ed. Why don't you attend your Kiwi thread anymore? Thanks for getting me back into MLP.
He has an RSS feed, but I'm sure he just has loads of free time and goes to every board all the time.

I think he's got a bot, iirc, he talked about it and showed screenshots over on /v/ during one of his fits.

>Thanks for getting me back into MLP.
You deserve to die anyway

He's on nearly every board. The only places that he can't go on are places like /mlp/ or /trash/, because he gets his fucking ass BTFO whenever he attempts to pull his bullshit on said boards. Doesn't stop him from trying though.

Sorry for taking my time, dudes. I'm fairly close to heaving up because I RP'd my character's flaw to a T, isn't that right, GM?
Time to attend to the pets. We succesfully roll to put them all to bed, and then one of them ends up waking up, expecting a "pamper party". This is when shit starts to hit the fan. I had lost one stamina ewhen trying to feed the pets, so me and Guapo were both on 9 HP. The animals sperg out, and we go crazy trying to subdue them. Angel escapes, creating a chain reaction of shit, which happens to knock a large cupboard on top of both Guapo and me. The last thing we saw before being smothered was Angel escaping, while Winona chased after her, with all the pets sperging out. We were in deep shit.
We miss you on kiwi my man

So, we were both being smothered by a massive cupboard, and due to our characters' low body stats we each had to roll a d4 to at least a six combined to escape. Luvk was not on our side, and we spent several turn suffocatingand taking shots of vodka stuck under this cupboard. I had the brilliant idea to use the ten foot long pole to help prop up the cupboard on our next escape roll, as we chugged health potions mixed with alcohol. Aftrer one more gailed roll, we got lucky.

I frankly wouldn't be surprised if he WAS a bot. He's incredibly predictable, pretty much only responds in canned insults and a handful of screenshots, and certainly can't pass for a sentient being

How did it pass the captcha then?

Veeky Forums pass

I think he might have been killed and his brain was uploaded to a bot and now can only make simple replies. Either that, or he was an AI that cannot understand the simple concept of love, and has deteriorated into a far top simple state and now can only male simple replies.
After escaping from underneath the cupboard fall of near TPK, we see the cottage has become a warzone. Furniture is destroyed, mud and animal shit litters the ground, and the pets have all escaped. We both make the observation that it isn't too different than when the six ponies plus a baby dragon left, but we decide we need cleaning supplies. We decide to split up, Guapo uses his Jew magic to summon Luci the Falcon to search for clues of where the animals went, while I fly to the market to buy cleaning supplies. Asking Guapo for half the price of the supplies (they cost 20 bits), he offers me 5 bits at an interest rate of 60%. I tell him to fuck off, and take off flying to the market as he uses Luci to search for the missing pets.

Quick question, is anyone reading at this point?

People actually buy those?

Sure


Presumably not enough people, but I'm sure somebody does. At least all four posters on /vip/

Yeah, I wish I had that kind of disposable income.

>Select all squares containing: helicopter
Anyone else feel like we're training google killbots?


You just have a lot of disposable time then, huh?

I begrudginly buy the cleaning supplies, while El Guapo follows a trail of Opals to find Opalescence, and he comes back to find that I had left the cleaning supploes for him as I dashed out to find another pet. I decided to follow the trail of alligator prints, mysteriously ending at a river. Remember, this is a game for children, so this is probably difficult for them. Ahd I not surmised that an alligator couod swim, it would be a mind check, but luckily, I know that they can swim, so I flew downriver, and found Gummy in a lake. I flew back as Guapo finished the cleaning, returning Gummy to the cottage.
Yeah, well you certainly have disposable IPs. Stay permabanned, fag.

>Quick question, is anyone reading at this point?
I am. I hope the ending to this is worth sticking around for.

Not OP, but here's the book if anyone wants it:

mediafire.com/file/rztg6a02irj36o4/Tails of Equestria (scan).pdf

I've been playing ponified 5e for years with several groups. It's pretty fun.

Sup, JAPG?