ITT: Anachronisms you can't stand

SCA

Potatoes and carrots are older than man. Unless you're playing in an explicitly historical game set in the eastern hemisphere, their cultivation is not an anachronism.

Taters? What's taters?

I always include the apple of the earth in my stories.

Fuck you, they tasty and come in many kinds.

Orange carrots are a bit too GMO for me to include in some settings, however.

>Include potatoes in Warhammer Fantasy
>someone tries to UH, AKTUALLY me
>point out that the New World has had colonies at this point for over a century

I can withstand any anachronism. Give me robots from space crash landing on a medieval world and I'll have a grand old time. Bonus points if they get worshiped as gods.

>nobody read the op filename

good answer buddy

I get salty about internal inconsistencies. Like if there's explicitly an entrenched aristocracy absolute monarchy that is believed to have divine mandate, but then there's republicans in every town and on any street corner who openly disrespect the nobility, and there's somehow no social strife about this. Any GM worth their salt can make a string of logic which will make that a workable setting, but if they can't come up with one then it's a red flag for me

>Like if there's explicitly an entrenched aristocracy absolute monarchy that is believed to have divine mandate, but then there's republicans in every town and on any street corner who openly disrespect the nobility, and there's somehow no social strife about this
let those plebians have their dumb opinions
democracy is just a fad

*gets overthrown*

see, that would be a good way to explain it, the nobility not bothering to enforce anything and the peasants learning that the rules don't actually matter. But there are so few people who bother an explanation beyond "look man, it's my world"

When the setting has very different material conditions and scope of human capabilties than anything in history, but it's socially exactly like medieval Europe.

>let those plebians have their dumb opinions democracy is just a fad

Phillip.

Get the guillotine

*teleports behind u*
*overthrows u*
nothing personnel... king

Robespierre you cannot guillotine all your problems away

Indeed, but only because they haven't built big enough guillotines yet.

This.
>blacksmiths wife talks shit to him
>he doesn't strike her back
>instead apologizes for some fucking reason and makes a joke about a cold night on the couch
>do him a favor and strike her for him
>for some reason he calls the guards
>the guards think I committed a crime
>have to sit there and explain to the gm basically every point he did wrong in a game he wanted to be based on historical accuracy
>says he's not comfortable with my attitude toward women
>only women at the table actually backs up my points
>group of 5 other people kick us both out
>found out later the idiot thought the woman had to give verbal confirmation of love for a marriage to happen instead of the guy asking her family for her in exchange for a dowry

>the guards think I committed a crime

You beat another man's wife without his permission. Unless you're his lord or something that's a crime. Especially in the societies you're trying to recreate.

*sigh*
I guess my only real problem, is myself.
hold on...

I did him a favor and corrected his wife.

Still manhandled his wife without asking. Just because you think he's doing it wrong doesn't give you the right to abuse his property.

He WAS doing it wrong. Factually. I corrected that.

You people have absolutely no idea what women's rights were actually like in the medieval period, do you?

Women were not property, attacking strange women was a crime, beating your spouse (it rarely mattered which gender was doing the beating and if it did, it just as often favoured women) was often illegal and if not, at least seriously frowned on and likely to result in nasty public humiliation (and shunning, which could be a matter of life and death in a world where you often had to rely on your neighbours to avoid starvation).

A dowry is not a payment for a bride; it's given by the bride's family to the husband's. Yes, arranged marriages were very common, but it was rarely a purely monetary transaction. Love and happiness were considered important.

Do you have the 'tisim? Or did your father not give you the dick you craved as a child and now you fill the void with (you)'s

>not explicitly historical
>therefore no anachronism
imagine missing the point this badly

It's not for you to decide how to treat his wife, since his wife isn't yours. At best, you've vandalized his property because he didn't immediately respond in the way you wanted him to. At worst, you've assaulted a fellow human while trying to impress another.

Why do you choose to reply to bait,user?

Spartan women inherited property and were the superpacs of their day

No I'm well aware of how women were actually treated. I'm simply pointing out he was in the wrong even in the kind of environment he believes women lived in back then.

>a fellow human
Oh, please.

Autism

>>blacksmiths wife talks shit to him
>>he doesn't strike her back
>>instead apologizes for some fucking reason and makes a joke about a cold night on the couch

One of the older historical marital interactions we have is between a viking and his wife, with her berating him for not going viking enough and getting her slaves to help make her life easier.

He doesn't hit her.

Play WFRP.

>everyone knows how to read
>healers don't use leeches
>the widow or daughter doesn't take up their dead male family member's work (smithing, farming, tax collecting and so on.) when there are no male heirs
>Priests aren't going to war

there is no way a mere mob can overthrow the nobility
they are too weak and tired from eating coarse bread and building my statues

Sounds like a shit viking. No war wives to promote to headwife to replace the faulty model.

Games that use terms like "shortsword" and "longsword" with no understanding of what those terms mean. I know those terms are just modern shorthand for arming swords and small two handed swords of the European style, but I personally can't stand it.

>It's called a BASTARD sword!
>okay...describe it.
>uh......

That's what she said.
Really, that's the whole point.

I'm saying using an outlier to support your argument was a shit choice on your end.

This but when people call my not!Lansknecht's Flamberge a longsword

The smith who made it was unmarried

this was funnier in your head

Your comment wasn't even funny there

wasn't supposed to be

Its real fucking mean looking.

>>healers don't use leeches
To be fair, bloodletting is so colossally stupid that writers simply don't want to include it because it makes their characters feel less intelligent.
Accuracy be damned, it's just so incredibly, monumentally dumb.

You know real doctors still use leaches today sometimes right? Maggots too.

Bullshit. The authorities/law either backed or ignored husbands disciplining wives (as in, corporal punishment) for any kind of "disobedience". And if you want to talk about public humiliation, look at what happened to "shrews".

In extremely specific cases, such as hemochromatosis, sure. There are times when something's wrong with the blood and you have to filter it in some manner. Historically, bloodletting was used as a treatment for damn near any negative symptom, with the excuse of "bad humors". Try curing anemia with even less blood and see what happens.
Maggots are simply efficient and cleaning away necrotizing flesh and have nothing to do with bloodletting. They eat all the dead bits and leave the living bits alone.

Hey man, it worked sometimes which right away makes it better than a lot of ancient healing techniques.

>trying curing anemia
It's called Gelding.

Kneejerk reaction is to say that Spartan women were an exception in Hellenistic Greece, in that they did have some of the access that we see as rights today, at the same time I feel like this conversation is so broad in scope that it's all an apples and oranges comparison.

Prove it was an outlier using historical sources and not "but ERRYONE knows wimmin was slaves back then!" People think that people in the Middle Ages thought the Earth was flat, never bathed, and would shit in the well.

ITT: I learned some history so now I'm insufferable

>produce survived months journey unspoiled
>produce survived the trek without cargo getting destroyed/stolen
>enough produce in markets to be even rare
Imagine being this stupid.

So, if it's not Earth and not Earth history why are potatoes an anachronism again?

Discworld has them. Are they an anachronism there?

Not all. Orange carrots existed, but weren't the default color that people thought of when it came to carrots.

Discworld does pretty much whatever it wants with anything. Half the jokes are "modern thing but the fantasy wizard version". That's not applicable to a setting meant to be taken remotely seriously.

Medical Leeches are excellent at treating joint, vein, and actual blood problems like if you have a clot or are otherwise suffering from bad circulation. Doctors still use 'medical leeches' because nothing can effectively or affordably replace the unique natural chemicals in a leeches spit that encourages blood flow and cures coagulation and clotting.

If I had to think of it in terms of 'ye olde medicine': you should prescribe leeches if someone's arms and legs are feeling numb or cold for no apparent reason so as to get the blood flowing through them or if their joints are aching and stiff- to get that blood in there and nourishing and lubricating it all up.
The problem with bloodletting and leeches in olden times was doctors would prescribe leeches to people who NEEDED as much blood in them as possible: colds, fatigue, dysentery, etc.. They'd drain them of their nourishing blood and weaken them enough for simple diseases to take them.

Slight tangent; you know how there's social sci-fi? Discworld is social fantasy.

Okay, Discworld is out. Still, if it's not Earth and not Earth history, why are potatoes an anachronism?

Yeah, leeches can be smart. The dumb stories people remember are those like the death of George Washington, whose doctors kept draining pint after pint when he got a sore throat.

>pre-modern setting
>people have "rights"

Technically, nothing is an anachronism if it's not Earth.

They had rights, it's just that they were really shitty ones and mostly revolved around farming turnips.

> laws didn't exist until 1999
end this fucking meme

They had law, but it wasn't really seen as a "right".
It was the ruler's prerogative to change the law however he wanted.

They're not.
Your not!Europe can have potatoes because it's not Europe.
I like them because it gives me more population, so villages being slaughtered by monsters is more possible.

I'll impale you with the Magna Carta you fuck

We all know that fantasy setting=medieval europe except with modern nation-states and no guns

Hello Moldbug.

>mfw

1453, not 1999
Fuck you and your exception

Madman

Yeah, Europeans never transported produce from the Americas and then grew it in Europe to sell at markets their. YOU COCKSUCKING RETARDED FAGGOT!

>Europe never ever traded with china

We've discovered declarations of rights pressed into clay tablets. The fucking Babylonians had a goddamned Magna Carta. And modern Western culture has the gall to claim they were being original when there's a "First" inscribed thousands of years worth of posts before them.

>everyone read the op filename

playing along with the bait is fun user.

Look around you.

Where have all the kings gone?

What happened to them?

Turns out eating coarse bread and lifting several tonnes of stone makes the mob pretty fucking jacked.

>produce survived months journey unspoiled
Its a potato, it literally can survive months unspoiled if stored properly, even at sea.

>Where have all the kings gone?
Norway and other places.

People are astoundingly ignorant of what came before them.

all it takes is one potato making it home once, ever, and now potatoes are a european crop

Why was the Irish Potato Famine a problem if no one had ever figured out how to move potatoes to europe, user?

I don't understand why you would be upset about anachronisms. Especially in a non-historical context.
In fact, I quite enjoy having a little bit of anachronism. You bet my ancient mesopotamian knockoffs are going to have the holy prostitute starting age a bit higher than it historically was. As will the marriage age.
Additionally, there will be fewer 13 year olds with babies wearing tit-cut-out- dresses. I know, prudish, but it's my right as a guy running a game to smooth this shit out a little.

I liked them both.
Good jokes.

>non-Nobles have surnames
>stronk independent womyn who aren't accused of witchcraft
>maize is called corn
>royalty isn't inbred to hell

>>non-Nobles have surnames
What if it's just "Smith" or "Shepard".

Those are titles of a job that turned into surnames and are backwater as shit just like being called Hunter is.