Hey /dragon/, maybe you can help me with something.
I'm a 7/10 green young adult, and there's a 9/10 black in the swamp nearby. I've been trying to catch her eye for a while, but so far she doesn't seem very interested in me. How can I win her heart?
Pic related: my crush
You should date within your own color, you degenerate.
>on /dragon/
>7/10
lol no.
But let me guess, you have a huge hoard with a gemstone as big as a dwarfs head? Go larp somewhere else.
Try stealing a Princess, and killing the knight who comes after her.
Kidnap an adventuring bard to give to her, bitches love bards, preferably a female humanoid.
Sometimes male bards will "accidentally" wander into a female's territory in hopes of capture.
In other words, kill your competition too
How about you take these trash threads to /qst/ instead of shitting up the board, thanks.
Don't do this. I know Humans all look the same, but I swear to god, it looked female to me. Even had on one of those "dresses" that females wear. No it wasn't a cloak or a smock, it was too frilly, near Princess-tier.
I gave it to this white that lived next mountain range over from me that I was on the verge of dating, an now He/She/it is apparently her "pet," which was the initial goal, but the thing constantly reeks of her cloaca, and things seem to have died in the water with me and her!
I believe they call it a "Trap." It is aptly named.
>"It's not worth doing something unless someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing it."
-Terry Pratchett
>tfw 3/10 yellow
kill me
Literally 0/10 deep here.
A-at least i have my maps...
>not being sexy 9/10 blue
just fucking end yourself already and spare us humilitation
Something you need to understand is that blacks are sick fucks. Really, really sick fucks. Your most depraved fetish? They'll think it's boring.
First it'll be gags. Then chains. Then actual torture devices. My pal dated a black for a while and came to me screaming that she'd tried to skin him during sex.
Don't get me wrong, they're great on the hoard, but you should reconsider having a long-term relationship with one.
terrible post OP. just fucking terrible
Patrician taste draganon
Try to impress her with some putrid cuisine
Maybe start by offering an alliance to take down some local metallic so you get to be close and know each other better for a while
wat
deep dragons are too sexy by default to be ever below 6
just don't judge yourself by a red's standards
WTF is a yellow dragon? Did some shits in the south mutate or some shit? Did someone fuck up a magic experiment?
>t. White dragon of the north
>White
How does it feel being even more retarded than a human? Killing all your kind would be an act of kindness.
t. gold
Golds are literally the shittiest, kill yourself along with the whites.
t. silver
>literally advocating genocide
Bahamut would be fucking ashamed of you.
Of course a Fucking metallic has to show up going full wyvern tier retarded. I don't know if you know this but white dragons can live for a hilariously long time, even for most others of our species, as a result it's takes a white an extremely long time to mature, now whites can also have children while young because living in the northern cold reaches is a terrible thing at times, odds are likely you have dealt with literal whelplings the entire time.
>ywn cuddle with a big tail necromancer gf
Thank you! I'll give this a try draganon.
Also, I'm curious. I've never met a deep dragon, and don't know much about them. What are they like, sexiness aside?
>she will never have her skeletons help preen your scales
>she will never hire a wizard to make you both immortal with repeated Clone bodies
It hurts
Nerdy, paranoid, honest, and have a cartography fetish. If you give one a rare enough map you'll be set for life in both romance and bed.
Also, you know how silvers are around humans? Deeps are like that around drow.
I'll just leave this here.
>Black Dragons
DESGINATED
Cause you're acting like a Beta Fuckwhelp. As a female I could give you some Advice, but it'll cost you.
The only thing worse would be if she was interested in her. Find a nice green, blue, or red, and move on.
Why don't you just use your mod powers to delete the thread?
Alright. How much do you want?
If she's a black, it's going to involve BSDM. I hope you like claw play.
Any advice for wyvern fags? I know I'm a 0/10, but I can't help how I was born. We all deserve a little happiness, right?
For a wyvern or any other lesser draconic, your only hope lies in having outstanding genetics. By that, I mean growing to extraordinary size and achieving peak level physique, power, and intelligence for your kind, and even then it is not a surefire way to get noticed. You have to be impressive enough that others would overlook your "deficiency".
*blubb* Hello fellow dragons. *blubber* I am also a dragon. *blurb*
When it comes to sex, no dragon is going to bang you, ever. But we can still be friends.
I would be happy to show you good time.
Just come to my cove next new moon.
Rate me /dragon/
>he still attempts to impress mates
>he hasn't retreated to found a monastery to himself in the mountains, living among powerful Old Gods to learn their magic spells preparing for the day when you join their ranks
Confirmed for being adventurer fodder, maybe the shield they make out of you will get to see more action than you did.
I think you've been spending too much time around those pompous skysnakes instead of your own kind.
>i can't get laid
>oh well, better swear off sex forever and go live as a monk
this is your brain on chronepsis
>tfw a dirty red weakling tries to take your lair and fails, then burns down your favorite human family's farm to spite you
When is Tiamat going to admit she fucked up with creating whites? They're literally wyvern tier.
HELLO WONDERFUL DRAGONS ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A SERVANT I WILL BE YOUR SERVANT I LOVE DRAGONS BECAUSE I AM PART DRAGON PLEASE LET ME BE YOUR SERVANT
I am looking for a servant, and a kobold servant in particular! One inclined towards viper familiars, sarrukhs, and Pazuzu, to be precise.
>Bothering with 3dragons
>Not kidnapping a humanoid cutie instead
You fell for the female dragon meme, there is no return for you.
>the goddess of evil dragonkind is constantly fucking humans over other dragons
THE ABSOLUTE STATE OF CHROMATICS
>not being able to defend your hoard
I think he broke in, took a look around, and decided he didn't want to live in your wyvern-den, to be frank.
No self respecting dragon would dare let a humanoid touch them, taking one as a mate is beyond abhorrent
Why are greens such cowards?
>dueling a green in honorable single combat
>outfly and outfight her
>suddenly she starts begging for mercy
>offers to tell me the location of her backup hoards and her assets in humanoid cities if I spare her
>is actually crying as I hold a claw to her throat
Stop kink-shaming my life partner, you cis-chromatic dragon. We are having a happy open relationship with each other and a trans-tiefling paraplegic nonbinary elf!