What if Jack Chick wrote a comic claiming WH40k is satanic

What if Jack Chick wrote a comic claiming WH40k is satanic

I don't think he would claim it is satanic, probably polytheistic or something, thinking people unironically worship the god emperor of mankind.

He would claim that The Emprah is Judas.......Oh wait

That'd be quite remarkable, what with him being dead and all.

I'd like to see a grognard Chick comic complaining about how the Satanism in 5e isn't as good as the Satanism in AD&D used to be.

40k turned me Christian.

40k turned me into a Tzeentch worshipper

He never would've. He would have written a tract explaining how Age of Sigmar is written by a satanist.

Why? It already is. Oh. I thought you said GW. Carry on.

It is written by the devil known as Matt Ward

Is Jack Chick the Chris chan of Christian Fundamentalist

I don't think his derangement is on the same level as chris. (Chris once cut himself to try and give himself a clit) but it is still crazy.

>Reee Matt Ward is the worstest. He ruined 40k

No that's whoever was involved with the fluff for the gathering storm books. And ADB collectively making 30k a self contradicting mess of waist high shit

Your next game takes place in a world where jack chick's booklets are actually correct.

How fucked are you?

not very because we are the true christians to restore christianity back from such evils as the new world order

The Imperium, as humanity's supposed salvation from Xenos and Chaos, is a stalking horse for Catholicism

You're giving Chick far too much credit.

He would be right.

>Being a Christfag
Gay.

>true christians
This is chick tract world, user. You're walking a damn fine line

How do you worship “ironically”?

exactly, but as long as we do not give into the temptations of evil, the works of satan that are all around us, we shall persevere. and, if such were to happen, god shall forgive as long as you give your heart to jesus in the end.

What if the world was made of glazed donuts?

Pretty easily, that's where the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and people who worship Kek/Donald Trump come into play.

Care to find out?

What if you went back to sucking dick?

>40k turned me Christian.
lol wut? 40k is basically anti-religion.

The Ecclesiarchy is the single biggest unifying force in the Imperium. Without that unity extinction would be quick.

Only if your liberal

It's anti-catholicism, which is a heresy anyway

Their "god", the Emperor, hated religion and thought they were a source of Chaos for some reason. So, he destroyed them but now he became a corpse and his followers worship him as a god. I wonder if he sheds tears.

If my Liberal does what?

Emperor was in personality a cross between Stalin and Napoleon. If he's crying then little is lost.

Also he's been Chaired for a hundred centuries, his opinion means nothin.

40k is only anti religion if you're a liberal, with liberal values.

This is a beautiful notion.
>"All 5e does is make you cut and speak in tongues. I prefer a system where you literally shoot yourself in the heart."

Oh really. What makes it pro-religion if you are a conservative?

That religion is the only thing keeping society together, and united against the enemy.

>Jesus hated the idea of the Gospel of Wealth, and the bible doesn't say anything about abortion other than how to perform a holy abortion.
>American Evangelicals send money to their megachurches so god will bless them with money, believe that wealth means that Jesus loves you more, and cite their religious beliefs as why they are vehemently pro-life.

You're right, 40K is the most holy and christian game there is.

>the gods were created by sentient beings, not the other way around
>every race has their own god(s)
>some races even had their gods created by their alien overlords (elder, krork)
>most gods are fucked up entities beholden to the nasty side of the concepts that gave birth to them
>mankind's god doesn't agree with naming entities such as him god and prefers to rule a secular, totalitarian state

A conservative point of view would not make this not anti-religion.

The Tau & Nids have no problem keeping their shit together despite not practicing any religion.

The Tau are tiny and the Nids are a literal hive mind.

not to mention the Machine Cult is a made up control device created by the ancient martian overlords and maintained by the current Arch Magos of the order so they can maintain absolute monopoly over mankind's technology

You can't worship Tzeentch, its more just that you accept that he's fucking with you

Ethereals are doing some shenanigans

kek

>The greater good isn't a religion.
>The etherials aren't considered living saints.

> 'nids aren't a straight up parody of the current extremist movements popular in college right now.

The funny thing is that the Polish camps are considered "death camps" instead of "concentration camps" only because they were never officially inspected by the US like every other German camp.

Only if you're a filthy, heretical Protestant

So was the Emperor, and we saw how it turned out.

Catholics are less heretical than any shit-tier protostant sect around today.

Bible is anti Christianity if you read enough.

>holy abortion
Your poor translation of the use of a curse against women accused of adultery in judaic law does not make a holy abortion, and the church fathers who compiled the scripture had a clear stance on the matter. The bible also has plenty of statements about men being blessed, destined for something, or filled with the holy spirit from the time they were still in the womb.

The mega churches I'll give you, with the exception that the original document The Gospel of Wealth describes an effort at going about the process of helping society with wealth to reduce the difference between one and the poor, avoiding extravagance and attachment to money as you go. It looks very similar to a pragmatic effort at a slow implementation of Christ's council to the rich young man by someone with the ridiculous wealth of early modern society and the "teach a man to fish" line.

Those who live virtuously might naturally acquire wealth just by being hard working, but they shouldn't have it as an ends, hoard it, or live extravagantly with it, and should be careful to put it back into society thoughtfully. A sad reality is that charities often misuse resources in ways we don't find desirable, so it's best to administer your own redistribution or be careful in handling it so that the poor are actually encouraged to become better off.

I bet there's a Slaaneshi hipster cult out there.

The imperium is neither united nor together.

Compared to the Age of Strife humanity is gathered around a camp fire singing kumbaya.

I thought the greater good was communism

Old Testamanent God
Worship Me or Be Destroyed. I will punish you with fire, massacres and plagues if you disobey me.
New Testament God
You fucked up so I'm going to punish and kill myself so that I can forgive you. That makes complete sense, shut up.

>whoa the good guys are angels and humans fighting demons? holy mary yes!

thats how far it'd go

>Kek worship
>Flying spaghetti monster
>People who say "praise the Emperor" but aren't retards who think 40k is real

Plenty of cheating sluts go to church, user.

The Satanism in 3.5 was fucking disappointing because the Mountebank class (not the PrC of the same name) was literally just reprinted in Dragon Compendium from a badly balanced article from Dragon Magazine that was vaguely based on a Gary Gygax idea but then put into words by someone completely retarded with the amazing capstone at lvl 20 of "You become an NPC".

It sucks because the idea itself is really fucking good.

Scientology

>Communism
>With an explicit caste system and power being concentrated at the top of a hierarchy.

Ironic communism

Yes, and it's utterly ridiculous.