Then in the plain of Anfauglith, on the fourth day of the war, there began Nirnaeth Arnoediad, Unnumbered Tears...

>Then in the plain of Anfauglith, on the fourth day of the war, there began Nirnaeth Arnoediad, Unnumbered Tears, for no song or tale can contain all its grief.

>Yet neither by wolf, nor by Balrog, nor by Dragon, would Morgoth have achieved his end, but for the treachery of Men.

Dammit Ulfang.

Tolkien was a terrible fucking writer.
He was a fantastic linguist and worldbuilder, and his ideas and the broad strokes of his stories are a treasure.
But I cannot read anything he's written and not be bored fucking stiff. He's unable to write characters that don't come off as cardboard cutouts or caricatures, his action scenes make no sense, his dramatic moments are less engaging than doing your taxes, and all. That. Fucking. Terrible. Poetry.

lets not forget he
>spends 200 pages jerking off elves
>then shifts focus to jerk off some fucking humans for 10000 pages because he got bored of elves and now humans are the new hotness and super awesome

>Hemingway's comic books suck, there aren't even any pictures

>I'm a product of American public schools

I'm sorry for you but you don't need to make it so obvious.

Hemingway knew how to write compelling characters and stories. Tolkien very much didn't.
Look, user, I'm not discounting the impact he's had on fantasy(and other) literature, his ideas and worlds are fantastic, but the actual reading of the books is dull as fucking dishwater. Don't confuse the importance of his work with the quality of it.

This thread will go well, i can already tell.

Don't go! I have a camel to sell!

>I am a Philistine with no love of language, this comic book has too many words, why aren't there more explosions?

Has the beast been kept well?

I fail to see how the union of Maedhros would have ever won a lasting victory since Angband can shut the gate and they're not sieging it successfully again.

>Look ma, I made a man entirely out of straw!
I'd say I'd come back when you actually address any of the actual complaints I had, but we both know you won't.

lol nobody needs to make a strawman for your retarded opinion, there's nothing more to it than "I have shit taste"

>He's unable to write characters that don't come off as cardboard cutouts or caricatures
Boromir, Smeagol/Gollum, Aragorn, Turin, Denethor (That is, Boromir's father, not the other Denethor), Sam, Frodo, and Eowyn would all say otherwise.

> his action scenes make no sense
Really? Which ones "make no sense".

> his dramatic moments are less engaging than doing your taxes,
I didn't find them so. What are you brinign to the table besides your unsubstantiated opinion?

>That. Fucking. Terrible. Poetry.
Again, what's wrong with the poetry? I quite enjoyed things like the Lay of Leithan bit that you get near Weathertop. Or even that twisted Old Man in the Moon song.

what complaints are there to address? You just farted out your shit opinion with no support. Fag

ITT: retards discuss whether something is "compelling" as if that were an objective property

>what can men do against such reckless bait?
>ride out and meet them!

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they really only need a human and a singing bint to defeat morgoth.

Not even Satan can stop an elf when she's after the bhc

"TEARS UNNUMBERED YE SHALL SHED; AND THE VALAR WILL FENCE VALINOR AGAINST YOU, AND SHUT YOU OUT, SO THAT NOT EVEN THE ECHO OF YOUR LAMENTATION SHALL PASS OVER THE MOUNTAINS. ON THE HOUSE OF FËANOR THE WRATH OF THE VALAR LIETH FROM THE WEST UNTO THE UTTERMOST EAST, AND UPON ALL THAT WILL FOLLOW THEM IT SHALL BE LAID ALSO. THEIR OATH SHALL DRIVE THEM, AND YET BETRAY THEM, AND EVER SNATCH AWAY THE VERY TREASURES THAT THEY HAVE SWORN TO PURSUE. TO EVIL END SHALL ALL THINGS TURN THAT THEY BEGIN WELL; AND BY TREASON OF KIN UNTO KIN, AND THE FEAR OF TREASON, SHALL THIS COME TO PASS. THE DISPOSSESSED SHALL THEY BE FOR EVER.

"YE HAVE SPILLED THE BLOOD OF YOUR KINDRED UNRIGHTEOUSLY AND HAVE STAINED THE LAND OF AMAN. FOR BLOOD YE SHALL RENDER BLOOD, AND BEYOND AMAN YE SHALL DWELL IN DEATH'S SHADOW. FOR THOUGH ERU APPOINTED TO YOU TO DIE NOT IN EÄ, AND NO SICKNESS MAY ASSAIL YOU, YET SLAIN YE MAY BE, AND SLAIN YE SHALL BE: BY WEAPON AND BY TORMENT AND BY GRIEF; AND YOUR HOUSELESS SPIRITS SHALL COME THEN TO MANDOS. THERE LONG SHALL YE ABIDE AND YEARN FOR YOUR BODIES, AND FIND LITTLE PITY THOUGH ALL WHOM YE HAVE SLAIN SHOULD ENTREAT FOR YOU. AND THOSE THAT ENDURE IN MIDDLE-EARTH AND COME NOT TO MANDOS SHALL GROW WEARY OF THE WORLD AS WITH A GREAT BURDEN, AND SHALL WANE, AND BECOME AS SHADOWS OF REGRET BEFORE THE YOUNGER RACE THAT COMETH AFTER. THE VALAR HAVE SPOKEN."

Fuck off shitposter.

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Has it been used?

Only slightly.

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christopher lee did the fucking audiobook its damn hpe