ITT: Cliches you HATE

ITT: Cliches you HATE

>The most common language is called "Common" or "The Common Tongue"

>All positions of power are gender split 50/50 but shit diamond dozen soldiers are all men

>Dragons are all incredibly smart but accomplish nothing with their power and intellect

Other urls found in this thread:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/River_bifurcation
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/River_delta
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/River_island
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>diamond dozen

Fuck you

>Every nation has its own tongue, making it a nightmare for anyone traveling between more than three countries to communicate with anyone without dumping points into speaking those languages

>Women are seen and not heard outside of amazon land, which is quickly conquered because -4 str

>The entire setting is dominated by creatures with such epic power that there is no real need for adventurers except as shadowrun style deniable assets

What a fun game.

>diamond dozen
Nearly caught me.
Anyways, 100% or unequivocally, unredeemable evil anything. If an angel can fall why should a demon not be able to rise, even if it were no longer called a demon at the end. Especially heinous in Earthly races. I don't give a single shit if gnolls had their entire ancestry possessed by a demon lord its horse shit that they are mindless monsters instead of just a brutal society, especially since tieflings can be good but they can't.

>Dragons are all incredibly smart but accomplish nothing with their power and intellect

>they've figured out how to spend all day relaxing and sleeping on a pile of gold

Douglas Adams was right.

>Hey! Did you not see how butthurt I am the fifty times I spammed this before?
>Now, don't you ever even tangentially mentioning anything related to D&D, or I'll burst into tears!

You're adorable!

>humans are the most common and the most "well-rounded" race
>humans have dozens of different ethnicities, cultures, and languages; every other race has one
>there's a "Thieves Guild" that isn't anything like a guild
>99% of a race is evil but a few of them are good
>peasants are all literate
>rivers split
And, worst of all:
>someone defends these with "It's fantasy bro, you can accept wizards and dragons but not this?"

Linguae francae are fine but they don't all need to be called "common"

"Hello, Veeky Forums complaints department? I'd like to report a gigantic faggot."
"Yes, I understand the irony involved, just get rid of him already."

>Casters get to be the guys who can throw fireballs AND teleport AND mind control people AND shapeshift AND see the future AND summon demons AND make magic barriers AND transmute matter AND...

When will we get an Edition of DnD where wizards have to meaningfully pick something to specialize in instead of it just being EVERYTHING?

>Douglas Adams was right.
explain, the quote does not come to mind

>“For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man—for precisely the same reasons.”

>People point out that a majority of the complains people have about ttrpgs are directly the result one game that standardizes the medium
>NANANANANANA CAN'T HEAR YOU! BAN HIM FOR POINTING OUT FACTS!

Like fucking clockwork. Please go back to your safe-space 5eg thread.

Could Homu be paladin of Madoka?

>Every nation has its own tongue, making it a nightmare for anyone traveling between more than three countries to communicate with anyone without dumping points into speaking those languages
My dad did this. We barely left the kingdom we started in as a result.

The enemy never turns and flees when they start suffering casualties and they don't have reason to believe that they can absolutely push through and prevail.
any GM that runs it this way is utterly retarded and you should walk away.

Ok now this is getting ridiculous.

>turns out that the boring looking diplomat NPC class is pretty necessary

>one guy goes around spamming to demonstrate how he erroneously actually thinks D&D is the source of all his problems
>and will try to defend himself when called out on how constantly butthurt he is on a board where the majority of roleplayers play D&D

D&D didn't make your daddy not love you.

Sayaka was the paladin, complete with a shitty contrived DM-railroaded plot about falling.

>Every bad guy being redeemable or not 100% evil.
>Pointless subversion of tropes "In THIS setting Dwarves live in FORESTS"

Dolphins are disgusting STD-ridden child-murdering rapists.

Also they keep getting killed by nets, Dolphins BTFO.

Complaining about people complaining about DnD on Veeky Forums is like complaining about anime anywhere on Veeky Forums. That image has been a meme since like 2012.

>The most common language is called "Common" or "The Common Tongue"
>what is actual history

If it's a necessary feature, you're not dumping user.

>The protagonists are imprisoned for reasons outside of their control! They must prove their freedom/redeem themselves!
>Oh, and they lose all of their equipment. And get localized antimagic rings attached to them so they can't use any powers.

I was so pissed. But then later on I stole some of those rings and attached them to the magical DMNPC princess and murdered the bitch. It was all resolved with a happy ending.

>rivers split
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/River_bifurcation
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/River_delta
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/River_island

Nah, it's "complaining about people playing D&D on Veeky Forums is like complaining about anime on Veeky Forums."

Notice how people have been complaining about anime on Veeky Forums since before 2012? They were faggots then, still faggots now, just like the people who take every opportunity to complain about people playing D&D on Veeky Forums.

>"Diamond dozen"
LOLE.
The saying you are looking for is "Dime-a-Dozen", kiddo. How new to living are you now?

>there's an insect-based race and it is 100% evil/amoral and operates as a hivemind with no individualty when only something like 3% of insects are even like that

>It's established that the only requirement for using magic is to learn it
>Magic academies are a major thing and exist in every major city
>The majority of people still aren't casters
>The only explanation is always some bullshit about how it's "expensive" to learn magic

>wizard is adventuring to pay off student loans
>his parents keep nagging him about majoring in illusion magic instead of something practical like conjuration

You can't communicate with your average bloke, but big cities will probably have someone who speaks the most common language. Finding someone who speaks latin just takes work.

Also you should have a translator around for this sort of thing.

Couldn't you say the same about becoming an Olympic athlete or a genius in the field of such-and-such?

In DnD it literally costs 450 gold to copy a level 9 spell into your spellbook.

450 gold is the kind of spare change a level 2 party makes with their first dungeon run.

Level 9 spells are literally the kind of shit that tears reality apart and can threaten the security of an entire country.

>responses only address the first issue and not the other two issues

I'm with you on all except the middle one. It's only logical that soldiers and warriors be mostly male dominated.

See I guess we all agree the second one is shit

For the other two issues he didn't even address the premise. The problem seemed to be with 50/50 distribution. Uncommon female rulers are different than 'literally unheard of'.

For the third it is entirely true, if dragons are there strong there NEEDS to be a reason they do not rule. Either being naturally non-human enough psychologically to have no desire to rule or not being able to maintain such things power-wise.

>Pointless subversion of tropes
The problem with this is that fantasy races are inherently tropes so either you're running the same boring, played out tropes that everyone is tired of or you're pointlessly subverting them by doing literally anything else.
My group has moved increasingly towards human dominated campaigns for precisely this reason. Fantasy races are shit.

Yeah, but Olympic Athletes aren't learning how to make the laws of reality their bitch and do things that even our cutting edge modern technology can't accomplish. Just imagine if any country in the typical DnD world actually invested in setting up something like a country-wide teleportation network, or started summoning food instead of wasting all that land on farming? They'd become a world super-power overnight and casters would probably end up killing off the muggles by sheer virtue of evolution like what happened to the troglodyte cave men.

It's the same reason a large portion of the population is illiterate. They can't afford learning of any kind.

>The most common language is called "Common" or "The Common Tongue"

Fuck d&d for this. You know 12 languages but fuck it. Everything from a a dog to a extraplanar being that has never seen a humanoids shape can speak common.

Pro DM tip: Get rid of common and make a language for all your nations. All you need to do is add "ish" to the end of the nation name.

>making it a nightmare for anyone traveling between more than three countries to communicate
Exactly

Don't forget, none of the nobility will ever be casters, despite having more than enough money and resources to learn magic.

They will invariably end up having corrupt caster advisors though.

Not so much in fantasy realms where people can become much more powerful than mundane real life individuals.

>A race of all evil beings that aren't demons

If they're too dumb to understand morality they're too dumb to be evil, so they're neutral. If they're smart enough to understand morality, then some of them can be good. Unless they are literally demonic entities that are supernaturally evil.

Well yeah. How many frat bros "major in business" then land at daddy's company, never studying anything actually useful?

Most of these games depict evil and good as not so much of conscious decision of mortality but a more evil as a controlling presence more like the Christian belief of evil. So something can be intelligent and always be evil or good.

thanks fampai

....Not 100% of them? Some of them actually are pretty successful due to at least of their own accomplishments?

You don't get 100% frat boys forever as your ruling class with no utility whatsoever.

>If they're smart enough to understand morality, then some of them can be good. Unless they are literally demonic entities that are supernaturally evil.
Why are you equating being supernaturally evil with demonic?

Devils, as a distinct thing from demons, evil fey, things from beyond the stars, etc. Supernatual evils that aren't demons.

The ruling class doesn't have any utility though. Frat-boys or not.

Ehhhh, you'd be surprised.

Gee, it's almost like people only care about one of the points!

You do realize you can make the decision to just latch onto what you want to talk about? If you want to talk about language diversity instead of -4 str, you can just ignore what you feel like. It's not quite the same thing as weaseling out of a discussion.

It basically appears only in deltas. Even the greek example, honestly bizzarre, is because of the chaotic orography of the Balkans.

>intelligent anthropomorphic or animal themed races exist
>mammals are all good or neutral, reptiles and everything else are all evil or nonexistent

I'm just using demons as a catch all for things that are evil because of paranormal forces that make them evil.

Things beyond the stars though aren't all necessarily evil, their just so bizarre and strange that we can't fully understand what the hell they're trying to do.

>Short, weak, ugly, greedy race known for being swindlers and bankers and somehow possessing nearly all the world's wealth

Nothing wrong with that. A skilled plot writer can keep an entire campaign tied to a single city.

I just think that it makes things too simple. Having all the orcs or all the goblins being bad just because with no wiggle room just seems lazy to me. I like evil and good being actual forces in fantasy, but mortal beings should be more complex than just good or evil.

>implying humans are none of these things

Honestly, every insect race should just be the gnath from FFXIV, complete with a warmongering samurai bug deity

Doesn't it also take a fuck load of experience?

Or used, to, I guess.

Fuck new editions.

fpbp

your dad ran a campaign for you? that's fucking awesome

The funny thing of lingua franca is that it's not that difficult to make without. Just use one or two of the world's (continent, whatever) superpowers and make the languages like english today, of french before; anyone who finishe at least high school should be pretty fluent. Then there's always latin, for example.
Granted, you'd expect that in peasant-filled setting not anyone would grok it, but merchants shoul get it and the local baron/priest should be pretty ok.

If not? Jesus, these guys shoot fireballs from their eyes and cleave monsters in two. After two months they wouldn't have such problems hitting chicks and buying arrows from the local fletcher.

>humans are the "plains" race even though most humans throughout history lived in forests, and living on plains requires you to live as a nomad and as a result all humans would be !notMongols
>elves are expert archers and "in tune with nature" but are vegan and don't eat meat
>anyone can wear and carry around a full suit of metal armour without having three horses and squires to carry it and help you get it on
>humans are the only evil race
>people in this setting somehow have modern, 21st century morality and thinking

Frat bros are actually far more stratified than other students on success. generally, instead of having a middle ground where they just do normal in school and life, they either do REALLY fucking good because they feel confident, competent, and secure with the backing of all their frat friends and networking (What frats are actually FOR and the reason universities have them.), or they misunderstand the whole point and flunk out because they got drunk too often.

A frat boy is just as likely to be a retarded asshat as he is to be an overwhelmingly competent and useful champion + total bro, but you're not gonna find someone who's just regular.

The real question is is how come you haven't started the long game of raising the perfect group yourself?

Mate, the frat kids and sorority girls mostly all cheat their way through college then land jobs through their connections.

t. guy who lived with three guys in rush and dated a few sorority girls in charge of "academic coordination"

Oh boy that sounds like lots of fun. Woops no one took extra languages/learned the language of that city we need to go to. Let's go fucking grind exp so someone can buy it.

Way more interesting game than just having a lingua franca.

>Level 9 spell costs 450 GP
>Platemail armor costs 1,500 GP

Incorrect, it's 810gp.

>a level 2 party
Your wealth at level 2 is 1000gp, so 80% of your worldly wealth, and having a level 9 spell in your book doesn't mean you can understand/cast it. In fact you probably can't even scribe it. It is a DC 24 spellcraft check.

For an average wizard they'll have a +9 at level 2 in spellcraft. There is a 75% chance they fuck up the scribing and lose all the money.

Also to become a level 2 wizard you need years of education and some amount of combat experience.

I once had a not!Roman centered campaign where there were pretty much only humans but other races were rare people from distant lands that would generally only show up as slaves. The whole point of the campaign was that the players actually all started out as slaves and the first session was them rebelling. Later on they were freed and granted legal rights, but that never stopped people from looking at them funny.

What if your setting have thinking and morality like Star Trek, where the divisions of the modern day are completely gone and everything is maximum egalitarianism?

It's 50gp per level of the spell in 5e.
Half that if it's your specialty school.

Isn't that how literally everyone gets jobs?
"Networking" is a code word for "nepotism".

Having it written down doesn't mean anything except a level 17th wizard could copy it from you. Platemail can actually be used by a level 1 fighter.

A scroll of a 9th level spell, something that can be used to cast it ONCE costs 3825gp for the cheapest one with no material components. Using that scroll is a DC 29 spellcraft check, so almost impossible for most low level characters. If you fuck it up there is a chance you just explode, the scroll explodes, it targets random people, it waits 1d12 hours before casting, and more.

I just looked up the Gnath and holy shit, they seem cool. Especially with the wargod they actually summon for war. I'm probably going to incorporate them into my games.

I never joined a frat, but my best friend did and I would hang out with him regularly. What I saw was that on Fridays and weekends they went fucking insane, but every one of those fucking nights there would always be at least 25% of them that would say things like "I can't go too hard today guys, I have to cram for physics tomorrow.", and then the next day there would be a bunch of them crammed into the library.

My only experience with sororities are that they're irredeemably retarded though, mainly because I think women are more likely to throw away everything for social group fun while it's more likely for men to buckle down and worry about practicality.

Maybe you just got unlucky and joined the retarded party frat by mistake, every university has one.

In most cases I have knowledge of it's "my daddy hires you and your daddy hires me so it doesn't look as fishy".

In 5e your worldly wealth should be pretty fucking low. If you have 450gp at level 2 your GM is doing it wrong. Even then, you have the spell written down, you can't do anything with it except admire your line work.

Just make sure no meddlesome warriors of light challenge their god to a battle to the death

Replace family with a professor and this is how I got a job. That's how literally everyone gets jobs. Who you know matters enormously.

They were pretty organized and methodical in how they did things. There were literally girls whose job was to get test answers "by any means necessary", and they traded those between sororities and frat houses.

You guys do remember you need to be level 17+ to cast those right?

>tfw already working on it

in a mere 20 years, my plans will be complete.

>>Dragons are all incredibly smart but accomplish nothing with their power and intellect
When your every move has a chance of pissing off eight or nine other dragons you tend to keep your head down until there's a gap in power.

God yes, there's a huge difference between "realistic" and "Internal consistency".

Because I need a woman for that, but don't particularly want one for any other purpose besides that.

Meanwhile in 3e it's explicitly stated that clerics and paladins are not obligated to be religious, and in 4e it's explicitly stated that they are infused with power that cannot be taken away. Religious paladins weren't a thing beyond 2e.

I think 12-15 would be a fine enough time to start. Teach them to embrace heroics before they hit the 'Oh, I can be an evil character?' phase and never want to leave.

I've always been too reserved to make good connections, so I just sold my soul to the military for 5 years for an easy way at a "good" job that looks good on a resume.

>Purchase an apocalyptic spell that tears a hole into another dimension
>810 gp
>Purchase plate mail armor of +1
>30,000 gp

They're very human-like, aren't they?
Try to figure out which one is which:
>Annoying and loud as fuck
>Emotional and Vengeful
>Keep going where they shouldn't go and get themselves in danger
>Easily killed by most things, and most times die by dumb fucking accidents
>When diseased or infected, spread it around to its peers like a motherfucker
>Do not respect differences and form shitty little groups
>Bully around for the lulz
>Most often than not, display no sense of right and wrong
>Intelligent by default, but jesus fucking christ, how dumb that motherfucker can be?

>purchase a spell that you can not use and likely no one you will ever know can use and only exists as lines on a page you can barely comprehend
>810gp

Also +1 plate mail costs 2650gp, the fuck are you talking about?

>when you join an rpg group for some escapism but end up getting a huge dose of reality instead

This is a much easier way to handle fantasy races.
It helps remove stereotypes by making them more like generic "exotic foreign country" and keeps them vague by making them oddities in the campaign.

Sayaka could have derailed her fall at any point by doing even a single fucking intelligent thing. Or, hell, even one or two stupid but good hearted things.

>It's the same reason a large portion of the population is illiterate. They can't afford learning of any kind.

that's not why people were illiterate. people were illiterate because they didn't have much use for reading.

Do you mean lingue franche?

>falling for the Italian meme