Things you can say to your dm but not your girlfriend

Things you can say to your dm but not your girlfriend

>You exist

I think im gonna commit suicide soon

>I really don't want to hear about that shit, can you just fade to black?

I love you.

I cast Hush

so I'm not dead then?

...

My dick's huge.

Can I find a brothel?

When are the other guys getting here?

Thanks for listening to me and valuing my input on the matter.

Your plotlines are entertaining and your encounters are well balanced.

I can't make it on Saturday. Just say I'm repairing the ship and I'll try to be there next week.

I wanna put my pee-pee inside of your va-jay-jay

I'm going to try to seduce the barmaid.

I like spending time with you.

I wish we could have this much fun more than once a week!

I don't want any erotic role-play tonight.

I can imagine a life with you.

>I think I might try roleplaying as a little girl this time.

Ded

Can you wrap up the session? I just don't have the energy to finish.

Thank you for cheating. That encounter was tough

Get you shit packed, you've been here long enough

Nice ads

I'm gonna plow right through these defenses with my two-hander

Hands off my dicebag

fpbp

The best part is that that's not even true for half of the fucks on this board that don't even have a GM.

>House Words that would suit your gaming group

Semi-detached ( from reality!)
In need of renovation
Off-plan

What's taking the other guys so long?

Why must you remind me.

>I'll stop cheating when you balance the fights better

Fucking legendary

>whoops I forgot

I roll to seduce.

>I'm not sure if I'm ready for that

You have lupus.

If you could argue with 3e fans there would be no 3e fans.

...

I just don't have the energy tonight, can we reschedule?

Shit girlfriend.

>boy, this always goes for longer than I thought.

Other way around for me.

Please go take a shower.

>unusual items found in magic tower garage sale

Attached: med_1478317406_image.jpg (640x480, 51K)

>cursed belt of gender stability

>belt of male femininity

In what world can you not ask your girlfriend to take a shower?

>garterbelt of sex

Most girls take shower on their own

Belt of the Lycanthrope
Half-Price due to white stains

Bag of Garterbelt Storage

Rope of pants holding

Attached: 1520065809650.jpg (900x800, 221K)

Should i make a con save to resist getting an STD?

I will eat your ass now, mi'lady

Attached: heart rip.gif (350x280, 951K)

"Could you repeat that?"

Attached: THESEUS.png (2978x1462, 2.77M)

>a space furry and a dark angle standing together
Instantly discarded

That's a Blackwatch kill team you dingus.

>can't spell deathwatch right
You know this board belongs to 40k right ?

>veterinary student gf
>comes home from a long day of having her entire arm up a cow's ass
>wants to bone
You wouldn't be like "Hey, can you take a shower?"

A girl that doesn't take a shower after a day of cow anal insertion wouldn't be a girlfriend in a first place. People should have standards

"Can I try and have a threesome with those elven chicks?"

>he doesn't know their story
Your mom should have discarded you.

Well i do have a life beside shitposting

>not knowing the rivalry between the Space Wolves and Dark Angels is founded on mutual respect

Attached: duel_space_wolf_vs_dark_angel_by_eden_95-d4t97j5.png (900x699, 814K)

Now thats a hell of a find! i know a shit ton of people that'd kill for that.

>GM's notes on a dragon encounter

Attached: hqdefault(3).jpg (480x360, 13K)

[Insert e621 url here]

lol, god damn it
i love how its not the cow anal insertion, but the fact that she doesn't take a shower afterwards

Safety first, sanitation second, snusnu third

Permanent solution to a temporary problem

Attached: 1092D6D6-B072-4FFD-9EDD-D685B7042943.gif (600x428, 2.3M)

Fuck my big slutty dick you nigger shit

Cup size: D for Dragon

Attached: 1500512445926.gif (540x578, 2.05M)

E for Ettin
F for Frost Giant
G for Goblin

Sidenote: Make sure its asshole has a separate sheet because you know Terry’s gonna try something.

I at least knew they were Space Marines in the service of the Ordo Xenos.

>G for Goblin

Attached: 1519854718269.png (407x397, 249K)

>G for goblin

Attached: 1CC48E69-0340-435A-9BA5-5DED99211159.gif (500x281, 1.93M)

Nice dick.

H for Holstaurus

Attached: image.jpg (640x800, 506K)

>my character is currently in love with my dms girlfriends character
>attraction is mutual

Attached: goals.png (543x442, 269K)

>They're eachother's biggest fan
That's actually a really cute picture.

Attached: 1519570615182.jpg (1000x1000, 177K)

Between players or just characters?

Just characters

But still awkward as fuck

>Lmao XD no gf guys the zingers are just nonstop tonight

Fuck off

nice

Attached: I understood that reference.gif (500x269, 883K)

Here let me help you with that

e621.net/post?tags=order%3Ascore_asc

Sigh.

Why would you do such a horrible thing

fresh from my current game
>let's get on with this, you've kept us waiting long enough

I can say that to my girlfriend.....
Luckily my girlfriend is a loyal cuck and I'll be fucking 2 women.

>Inb4 nuh uh
>Inb4 shit that never happened.

Dude, this just isn't fun.

I roll to seduce.

Ah! That's why "cheese grater" exists as a separate tag!

We're all very impressed by you talking about your love life on a board about playing pretend, which is on a site dedicated to Japanese cartoons.

funny thing when you reverse order to "score_desc" to see the highest ranking entries) this will be in top10 (as the only image that can be re-posted here)

Attached: priorities.jpg (596x800, 83K)

>in truenamer's diary

Attached: hqdefault(2).jpg (480x360, 32K)

I merely enjoy the antics, it is not my fault I have no one user.

Can you actually try to make this interesting?

All the fun people were removed due to having badwrongfun on Veeky Forums.