The Empress cryptically commands you to "sever the sinews of empire"...

>The Empress cryptically commands you to "sever the sinews of empire". She intimates that failure will result in death and will speak no more of it.

wat do

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Sneak onto a baseball field and stab the guy behind home plate.

>sever the sinews of empire
She wants you to kill her and all of the main people of the empire. Cause it to crumble.

For what purpose?

For fuck's sake, what is it with nobles and riddles? If you want something done, GIVE ME CLEAR INSTRUCTIONS! Otherwise I'm probably just going to stab important people and burn down buildings you like.

the empire has corrupted/festered into a shitshow of the worst kind of laziness and debauchery. She wants what is best for her people so she wants you to end her rule so that a better system can eventually arise.

What if she just wants us to hamstring the nobles of the empire so she and her blood-sucking reptilian forces can feast on their immobile bodies?

Sinews, sinews. Sinews. Tissue that connects muscle to bone.

Bones of an empire? Fortifications? The land itself? Muscles of the empire, fairly obviously the military.

I am being asked to remove the military from sovereign soil, or remove the military from it's own defensive establishments? Difficult. Unfeasible, really, as well as pointless.

No, wait, she said to sever the sinews of 'empire', not 'THE empire'. She wants to create some kind of mercenary utopia by separating military from state? Seems ill-advised. Is this some kind of Outer Heaven thing? Is that what we're doing here?

Because lady, it's gonna take more than me to accomplish that.

Guys, she obviously wants to outlaw all sinews in the empire. Now sure how or why we’re going to carve muscle fibers out of every individual citizen, but the mage might have a few ideas.

>it turns out the Empress never learned to speak Imperial properly and doesn't know what words mean

then you should kill her anyways I guess. I can only see a good outcome to regicide.

Start cutting her achilles tendon I guess.

Guys, I think she wants us to give everyone a haircut!

Fool! Nobles aren't the sinews! Nobles are merely the limbs of the empire! Large, visible, and active, but there are not the hidden minor parts that keep the nation going.

Neither is the Church, for those would be the Organs, providing life, energy, and maintenance for the living of the citizens.

Neither is it the citizenry, for they are the lifeblood of the nation, that which fills, breathes life, and is in turn aided by the Organs and Limbs of the empire.

No, the Sinews are the Merchants and their guilds, those who's actions are what allow for the ambulatory motions of all those in the nation. It is the Merchants who empower or destroy the Nobility, who direct and manipulate the flow of the citizens, and who's actions will often uproot and adjust even the Church!

The empress knows this, and has seen how the Merchant Guilds have grown fat and corrupted, and continue to plague and sicken the nation even after their Guild Charters have been revoked and annulled.

You now know what you must do: Crush the guilds, destroy their monopolies, and return the power and flow of the markets back to the good people of the Empire

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Color me persuaded.
Merchant blood will run to your navel by the morrow.

Rape her.

What? Am I supposed to do something else when I see a chick cosplaying an injured dolphin?

Hang on, is that even the queen in question? Are you trying to bamboozle me, OP? I should rape the girl, just in case.

So this is an elaborate guild hate thread?

Release my brethren from their fleshy prisons, naturally.

To be honest I was going to do that regardless of what this silly bint said.

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>failure will result in death
Whose? Hers? Well, whoop-de-shit, like I give a damn about somebody uncooperative coming at me with riddles. And don't say mine, because obviously these people are soncompetent they can't even solve their own problems, much less kill me.

To be fair, guilds of most any kind regards s to be awful. After a while most of them eventually become mini crime rackets, like the Musician's Guild in Discworld

You got it baws.

What if mini crime rackets are a good thing?

Emigrate.

"Holy Heirophant, Batman! That means the Riddler is out for the throne!"

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God, Mikey is so fucking hot, it's not even funny. She's cute and funny too. If I had a genie, I'd use all my wishes to fuck three her in different makeups, than marry her, and fuck her till I die.

Ask her to explain what she means in layman’s terms.

I ask the spymaster how our plot to assassinate the insane empress is progressing, then take his words to the Duke of Snew and ask him if his household is compromised or if the empress is just lashing out at him. Frankly, I have noting against our reptilian royal family but enough is enough!

I actually came here to suggest the sinews of the empire was the economy and the market, so thanks Adam Smith

>Duke of Snew

I really hate that guy. He's always spitting indoors.

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All children learn how God-Empress Melania's father took power in a reverse-coup, taking power back from the insidious spy-and-propaganda network that had overgrown the empire.

But her father, it seems, had been too merciful...

Rough sex until she cums.

>user found dead in embarrasing position, killed by idiot savant empire. Girl he liked "Lmao what a loser"
More at eleven.

So kill the bureaucrats and destroy the administrative apparatus?

leave the merchant guilds alone you fucking anti-Semite!

I dunno man. I think she just wants me to go door to door cutting sinew from people.

fpbp

>Implying all there merchants are Jews, and all the Jews are merchants
I wonder who's behind this post

Launch a coup and overthrow the stupid, cryptic bitch.

Kill everybody in the empire, starting with the Empress. Because I am not a smart man and that's what happen to faggots who want to be cryptic.

>wat do
Get the fuck out of the Empire, because I'm probably not the first person she's given nonsense instructions like that to. Chances are, everything is about to go to hell.

Start a rebellion and bring down the empire, killing all the nobles and starting anew. It's been done for less.
>tfw a whole Chinese Dynasty was eradicated because a prison warden lost some prisoners and was afraid he'd be executed.

Draw a penis on the front of the most holy and revered temple of the local deity.

Open a shoe cobbler's shop and sell magically enchanted shoes such that everyone who wears them leaves behind a permanent brand upon the ground of a penis, which does not appear until 7-14 days afterward.

SILENCE YOU COCKROACH!

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