The last character you played has been chosen as a prophet of the Abrahamic God

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What's your godesses name? She sounds to be a good divine being.

Sarenrae from Pathfinder

Julia Minor, 12 year old chaotic evil wizard prodigy, spoiled brat, and all around awful person, is now a prophet.
Yeah, I don't see this ending well for anyone. She's definitely going to lightning bolt a ton of people though, mostly for petty reasons. Imagine if Veruca Salt was raised by Saruman to get a hang on her personality. Now imagine her with prophet powers.

A Kobold who from escaped slavery and seeks to help the others who remain... Welp, guess im Moses now.

Meh. Prophets have done things like feed teens to bears. So long as she spreads the Word she'll fit right in.

"if i dont spread your religion, then no one can actively reject it"

Well, my political barbarian is finally getting his abyss demon wife back.

Spread the story about how yahweh betrayed lucifer and stripped him of his free will all because of nepotism

wonder why he would choose what is essentially a magical robot when there are actual normal living beings who exist.

"Badger", an Orthodox Jew from the American Civil War got displaced to D&D world because Leiber wrote the best Isekai and became a fighter because hey. Keeps kosher and observes the Law even though YHVH ain't no thang in Fantasy World.

Suddenly YHVH is back?! Badger is a prophet?! Time to establish the temple and prepare for the Mashiach.

This works out pretty well because he's a catholic and a former member of the Swiss Guard whose fighting alien invaders who happen to be Angels via a suit of armor powered by his blood.

It's kind of Eva + Escaflowne

>Hates god
>Hates people
>Hates civilization

If you read the old testament this sounds like basically most of God's prophets, he loves to pick people who don't want it and then beat it into them

Could be a bit of a problem since he's both an Untouchable (soulless, no presence in the Warp, etc ) and a Tech-priest.
Unless this "God" provides a fully functional STC database I don't see Magos Epsilon-Sigma paying much attention to him!

I know you're just tipping your fedora
>A god who burns down cities
After making it clear he wouldn't destroy it if even one virtuous person resided in it.

>drowns the world to purge unbelievers
The impure user, not unbelievers. The entire narrative was that Noah and his clique were the only people virtuous enough to be worth not getting purged.

>M-Muh hell
Do you even know what hell is like according to Catholics? Or Orthodox doctrine for that matter? Especially from the Orthodox perspective it's pretty fucked up, but not in the fedora tipping "God is evil" sense.

Not arguing for their historicity, just saying to at least get your facts straight.

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>mfw am already playing a Moses proxy in Shadow of the Demon Lord
Well, that just works out swell

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El Shaddai is a pretty shitty god compared to Sarenrae.

Fund the Spanish Inquisition. And never stop purging.

I play a Vengance Paladin serving Helm that explicitly wishes to dispose of any clerics or gods that meddle into the affairs of the mortal realm without being in line with thier roles. Pirmarily wishes to kill Mystra and destroy the not!Antifa group known as Harpers for killing his wife a red witch and generally causing chaos.

>Is an info-morph piloting a Not!Mortar Headd

...Why? Who?

Stare at the sky confused, both at the existence of such a god, the fact they need a prophet, and the fact that somehow HE was the right one for the job.

I finally have an excuse to proselytize my IRL religion to the two fedora-tippers at the table.

At least YWHW's lore is decent and his setting isn't shit.

Hell isn't even in the bible. It's entire existence is based upon the Greek's Hades and a vague New Testament text about the wicked being symbolically cast into fire.

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The last character I played with a human-raised drow elf thief in the Forgotten Realms who is quite happy being a worshipper of Tymora. I don't think she'd like most of God's tenets - and I'm not certain God is allowed to (or is even capable of) playing in Ao's domain.

This isn't me fedora-tipping, I'm just saying I don't see how God can exert influence into the Forgotten Realms in any meaningful way.

>After making it clear he wouldn't destroy it if even one virtuous person resided in it.

He had to be talked into that, if you'd care to re-read the conversation between God and Abraham. God was originally going to just destroy them outright; Abraham talked him into not doing it if there were just 50 just people, then just 10, and so on.

"Aroden, is that you?"

>a soul-eating, shapechanging, mind-controlling demon composed of billions of angry souls that's trying to subtly turn a city full of superheroes and supervillains into her own personal demiplane

...I don't know what to do with this. She rather explicitly thinks of herself as the highest form of consciousness and life, and submits only to the infinite gestalt of the flesh dimension she was spat out of. I guess she just kinda goes "nah" and keeps doing her thing?

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>At least YWHW's lore is decent and his setting isn't shit.
That's true, but the character is shit. There is no tone and he talks too much. Still the angels stuff and the tribes are pretty good. I would play a game in taht setting but I would prefer of him not showing up, he is a child with too much power.

Abraham asked god not to burn the city. God said he wouldn’t if half were good.

The subsequent bargaining and arguing between the two of them resulted in god agreeing not to burn it if a single good person lived there.

Guess what happened.

It’s still a pretty reasonable god who agrees to that. He let his prophet argue to him about it, and agreed as long as a SINGLE good person was living in an entire fucking city.

That place must have been a hellhole, nothing of value was lost.

>YHWH himself chooses a spiritually-apathetic gunslinging Tiefling as his prophet
Something's not quite right here.

>the entire plot of the adventure right now is that Jesus is coming to a standard D&D world and thus reality is getting fucked

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He probably kills himself out of spite, unless the prophecy is that he would kill himself in which case he would live out of spite constantly shitting on god's name out of spite. He's an edgy "no gods no masters" style anarchist.

Obviously the idea of hell is directly contradictory to the idea of an all-powerful loving god. Purgatory makes sense

Dedicate my life to spread his word and do his will, giving everything I have to save my people only to get cursed to wander for 40 years in a shitty desert along with most of my people after just escaping from a life of opression because we doubted God once and he got butthurt.

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Will probably try to usurp the position.
The weird thing is that this is Rifts, so it might sort of be a possibility.
Unfortunately, this is Rifts. He will not last two seconds.

Well there is that old saying about people who want power not deserving it

>zabrak merc with blaster cannon
Hope God is a better boss than a Hutt who hires bandits to rob his employees.

Elisha was an old man surrounded by about 40 teenage boys. There’s no way he’s getting out of there without help

Man I need to replay that game. Story is ass, but music and art style diversity are top notch

>no tone
Try learning ancient Hebrew
>talks too much
Compared to everyone else, I’d say Isaiah, David and Solomon had way more screen time

>Building a new Israelic Covenant in a D&D world

This triggers my Dispensationalist boner so hard.

No it doesn’t, not when you view Hell as God literally leaving you alone, like you desired, for all eternity.

He makes a point of leaving out all the "Hey, you should wipe out these people and take their land and women as spoils of war because they're wicked or whatever." that will inevitably follow.

>Attempt to fuse the domains of his goddess with the abrahamic traditions
>Rip and tear in gods name

A self mutating ratfolk alchemist is an odd choice, but if God wants a rat monster then who am I to judge?

It's kind of weird how the Catholic and Orthodox perceptions of hell are directly opposed to one another.
>God leaves you alone for all of eternity
>God refuses to leave you alone for even one nanosecond

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Why's Lot allowed to live after he offers his daughters to a mob that had made clear their intention to rape, then? That's a far cry from a virtuous person. There's also the whole "God's omniscient" thing, so he'd already know whether or not there were any good people in the city and wouldn't need to waste Lot's time in a search God already knows will be fruitless.

The lord has given unto me fifteen.... Ten! Ten commandments.

>Why's Lot allowed to live after he offers his daughters to a mob that had made clear their intention to rape, then?
Let's get the facts straight first
>Two strangers (angels) visit Sodom
>A mob suddenly wants to rape these strangers
>Lot offers the angels safety in his house
>He offers his daughters to be raped instead
>He emphasizes that they're virgins
>The mob refuses
The fact that he's offering this isn't the only strange thing. A lot about this story is batfuck insane... until you understand ancient Mediterranean sexuality. Let's use Rome as an example, but most Med civilizations around the time worked the same (and Afghanistan more or less works like this to this very day).

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexuality_in_ancient_Rome#The_rape_of_men
The mob didn't refuse because they were gay or whatever. Rape was (and according to some still is) about power more than getting your rocks off.
>Men who had been raped were exempt from the loss of legal or social standing (infamia) suffered by males who prostituted themselves or willingly took the receiving role in sex.[262] According to the jurist Pomponius, "whatever man has been raped by the force of robbers or the enemy in wartime (vi praedonum vel hostium)" ought to bear no stigma.[263] Fears of mass rape following a military defeat extended equally to male and female potential victims.[264]
It was about humiliation, about making another man your woman. Now what do you think happens when some dude steps in front of the two strangers who ain't from 'round these here parts and offers you his virgin(!) daughers instead? Let me rephrase it in a way that might be more understandable to us modern folk. Let's say that the mob wanted to beat the two strangers up, and Lot instead offered that they should fight his daughters.

It wasn't an offer, it was an insult. A "my VIRGIN daughters are more on your level than these strangers" quip. No wonder the mob refused, it wasn't about sex in the first place.

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So, basically "It's fine because the mob turned the offer down."

No, it's "it's fine because it wasn't an offer".

Sure, buddy. Whatever mental gymnastics you need to keep the idea that the Bible's a shining beacon of morality intact.

>Brazilian Buddhist shadowrunner

[Philosophical discussion intensifies]

See this is why people hate folk like you.
Also i know your just a baiting fuck

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And this is why history is important.
Thank you user.

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>applying your modern standards to a text older than the entire subfamily your language belongs to

I know, it's rude to interrupt, but keep that in mind.

>M-morals were different back then!
Funny, I thought the Bible was the divinely inspired word of God who wouldn't be subject to the morals of bronze age peasants.

>it's rude to interrupt
Please read, user. Also please read the text and know what was ACTUALLY being said, and how things worked in the time and place. That is how you understand what someone truly believes, and not a strawman. You wouldn't believe how long it took me to learn that myself. I'm warning you now before you get in over your head, because there is not, and I mean is not in all of this world or any other, a SINGLE text offering moral lessons that is not rooted in the realities of the culture and period in which it was written. You cannot name even one. It dates a text in the same way as making a pop culture reference does. Also, you're probably looking to respond to if you think you're only talking to one person.

Thinks it’s okay to BURN A CITY AND EVERYONE IN IT if the people there aren’t “virtuous” enough.

FUCK any person or God who acts like that, whatever their name is.

Murders women, children, babies
> nothing of value was lost
A truly moral supreme being, ladies and gentlemen. And what exemplary followers!

Funny how religious folks claim theirs is the received word of an ultimate infallible supreme being from beyond space and time, laying down absolute laws applicable to every situation, then when you point out how shit those laws are they’re all “Well yeah, but it was written A LONG TIME AGO.”

>Mental gymnastics
>Despite my evidence that Roman culture worked the same way
Alright, whatever. Then I want you to offer an alternative explanation that connects all the dots. Not even a plausible one, just an alternative one that explains
>Why the mob was so insistent on raping the strangers in the first place
>Why Lot offered his daughters
>Why the mob refused
And "everyone was retarded" isn't an explanation.

>M-morals were different back then!
No, cultural standards were different. As are they still today in many parts of the world. Like I said before, in Afghanistan it literally isn't gay if you fuck someone in the ass, but it's gay if you get fucked in the ass. Hence the little boys dressing up like girls and getting fucked in the ass.

>Thinks it’s okay to BURN A CITY AND EVERYONE IN IT if the people there aren’t “virtuous” enough.
...yes? Given that from the context of the story, it follows that they were objectively evil and the objectively good people had been removed form the city. Also keep in mind that in the story the one carrying out the sentence is literally the supreme authority over good and evil as well as the arbiter of the afterlife, not some random warlord. That kind of changes things as well.

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>“Well yeah, but it was written A LONG TIME AGO.”
Like I keep repeating, cultural context. Cultures change over time, but morality doesn't. The argument you hear from divine command theory is that morality is objective, not absolute. ie. there is such a thing as objective good and objective evil, but it's still context dependent. Hell, the only people who don't believe this are Kantian categorical imperativists. And by their retarded logic you could argue for a face-value interpretation of the Lot story because it's categorically a good thing to de-escalate.

You're looking for , I just want you to stop strawmanning like I did in my teenage years. It's incredibly obnoxious and does nothing to promote an actual discussion or moral assessment.

>Also keep in mind that in the story the one carrying out the sentence is literally the supreme authority over good and evil as well as the arbiter of the afterlife, not some random warlord.
He doesn't act like that, also he has to proof that he is. Sarenrae or Shallya are for example deities I would follow But that Shaddai guy is just an asshole.

Try to kill the voices in my head for getting between me and blessed Saint Elenda.

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Kobold Necromancer... Dont ask

Eh, could work but I doubt she'd be a very fitting candidate. My current character (pic related, though she doesn't wear earrings) is a drugged-out psychosurgeon in Eclipse Phase, I don't think the whole Abrahamic message really flows from that well..

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Bullshit, drug-fueled lunatics make perfect prophetic figures.

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> Be me, be very exited
> Be first time in Table top rpg, playing pathfinder at about age 11
> Be talking to the DM (My Cousin)
> Finaly able to convince him of letting me play this wierd make-belief game that looked so cool when he played it with his friends
> Ask him what i should play

Cousin: You can play anything you want user

> Can i play as a dragon?
> Cousin: No user, you cant play a dragon
> What is the closest i can get to a dragon
> Cousin reads wiki
> Minute passes

Cousin: Well... You could play a Kobold
Me: Ok, ill play a kobold. What is a kobold?
Cousin: user, a kobold is a little shit mosters most players kill for sport
Me: ... So?
Cousin: Ok... What class are you gonna play? You could be a pretty good rog-
Me: I want to rise the dead
Cousin: You want to play a kobold necromancer, well, fine then.
Roll for your stats

My stats:
>18
>17
>15
>13
>12
>10
> His face when

> Little brother played a human paladin
> Total murder-hobo
> Funny how the paladin ended up being more mercyless than the monstruous draconic necromancer

To ilustrate
>This one time we defeated an orc boss, he was unconcious in the ground, i tried to give him a potion (Figure out we may have a new partymember)
> Fail the roll
> In my brothers turn he says and i quote
> I SMASH HIS SKULL IN WITH MY GREATSWORD'S HILT-PICE

Kobold: What the fuck did you just did?
Paladin: I DESTORYED THE EVILDOER

> Guy wasnt even evil, we pretty much barged into his house and killed all his pals
> Figure out ill take his bones, might be able to bring him back if i get to high enough lvl

One of many stories i could tell you about the 3 setion campaign i played with my cousin and my brother when i was 11, probably will reupload it to the bigger forum

sorry for the bad writing guys, first time posting a long story on Veeky Forums, still kind of a new fag as you can see

Idealistic Knight/Pyromancer with a big ass flambard...
So I guess the next crusade will be fun...

I thought it was actually kind of funny.
Had something similar, though it was an ethics debate between the paladin and the necromancer about skinning mermaids for clothing.

Is this Persona 1

>Hell isn't even in the bible
>Even though it's described by Jesus more times than Heaven is

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(OP)
My last character was an iconoclast who believed that any being who claims sovereignty over the souls of mortals (gods, celestials, demons, devils, some aberrations and fey, and most necromancers) should be overthrown or even destroyed, so I'm not sure why God would pick him of all people.

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Well, that'll be a little awkward.

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>i tried to give him a potion (Figure out we may have a new partymember)
I find that oddly adorable

> playing AdEva
> fighting Angels

God, why is my life so complicated?

>ignores the deaths of men
Don’t act like you care

>The Author is talking to me? Oh no that's no good. I'm going to die. I'm going to die VERY soon, and it will be painful, and then they will retcon the universe again and I will never have existed at all. Nobody breaks the fourth wall this hard and then lets the character in question live!

>mfw the absolute roller coaster of a ride that is supernatural

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>A dumb human who's only good at carrying a big stick
Either he tries to do as said or doesn't listen at first and eventually gets spooked by the presence of god/swallowed by a whale and ends up in Ninevah

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My traitour goes from a total quack who can sometimes simulate a placebo effect through faith or maybe apply some herbs that actually help, to an actual lay-on-hands, heals the sick and cures the blind Saint.

What I do is NOT INVADE EARTH The dumbest thing Ze Balmary Empire could ever do would be to let those rabid warmongers have a chance to get back out into the galaxy.

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>painfully faux-Irish anarchist elf decker
"Fookin' roight, listen up, ya cunts! Things're 'bout ta change 'round here!"

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My character isn't an evil cleric, so I don't think he would be a good fit for an evil god :^)

I've heard that Paul persecuted Christians early on and at least approved the killing Stephen before his conversion.
This is the same Paul who wrote a lot of the New Testament, so your character probably wouldn't stand out to much.

>Murders women, children, babies
Who said there were any children or babies in the city? And why the fuck do women get a free pass on morality?

>women and babies
>relevant

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