A summoner starts to get very pedantic over what constitutes a "virgin"...

Unfucked

Hasn't had sex, I thought this was pretty straight forward.

Reminds me of the screen cap on /pol/ where some virgin fell for the trap meme and actually solicited a tranny prosititute into domminating him. The short of the story is he got analy wrecked and got some std, all the while anons in the thread said anal doesn’t count and he’s still a virgin.

So I guess anal doesn’t count losing your virginity.

Fun fact "the blood of a virgin" isn't the important thing in a majority of historic real world occult rituals. Your virginity has nothing to do with it, it's actually a term born of confusion of the original term "virgin blood," which was blood from a person who had never used their blood to perform an occult ritual, NOT a person who had never gotten laid.
>t. non-virgin with virgin blood
At least I think I have virgin blood, I lived with a Wiccan for a few months and god knows what the bastard did while I was drunk

It is at this point you get them to do a diviniation on your bloodto determine i it is vrgin blood, then argue theyve just used it in a rite

so do blowjobs count or not?

is every lesbian in the world a virgin even after she's had a fist up her?

am i not a virgin after a heavy makeout session?

what's "sex"? what about dildoes? what about eating poop? what about weird leather fetish shit? what about people who can't climax without looking at a topographical map of Idaho County or fantasizing about being devoured by a giant snake? what if you're a dude and you thought you were with a lady but it turns out she used to be a dude before the surgery but then your doctor tells you you're actually a hermaphrodite and didn't fully express the phenotype?

what about that one lady who got pregnant when somebody's musket ball blew through a dude's balls and impacted her in the vagina? can you be a pregnant virgin? well, i guess 2/3 of the world believes Mary was, or at least they say they believe it. does that mean Jesus took Mary's virginity when he popped out? did the donkey break her hymen? do angels even get boners or do you think it was like in Dogma and he just put his hand on her cooch?

If you mash up genitals with another person you are no longer a virgin.

Me

Excluding kissing, if it counts as cheating it counts as sex.

It's not hard user

You need to enter the Cave of Virginity and touch the Virginphile Mushroom that only grows when a full-on virgin touches it.

Attached: v002-020.jpg (870x1234, 195K)

If it involves mutiple genitals and or genitals and orifices its sex

THE RULES OF VIRGINITY:
1. If the person has ever willingly touched, or have been touched by, any another beings genitalia of any sort, they are no longer a virgin.
2. If the person has ever willingly preformed an act for the sole purpose of sexual pleasure of another, they are no longer a virgin.
3. If the person has ever willingly had an act preformed for them for the sole purpose of sexual pleasure for themselves, they are no longer a virgin.
4. If the person has ever willingly pressed lips on a person in a romantic or sexual context, they are no longer a virgin.
t. virgin

Attached: dandilion gum.jpg (225x224, 12K)

Intent. A woman who remained chaste before and after a rape attack is more pure than a "technically virgin" thats been fingerbanging herself nonstop from the onset of puberty.

>3
So making people play in your magical realm steals your virginity?

Technically

>If the person has ever willingly touched, or have been touched by, any another beings genitalia of any sort, they are no longer a virgin.
So the moment they're born they're no longer virgins because they somewhat voluntarily touched their mom's puss?

I don't think you have any agency when you're being born, so I'd go with no by his logic

Alright, so what if some thot pisses you off and you decide to remove her with a firm cunt punt. Does that count as losing your virginity? I mean, you voluntarily touched her puss.

Well first you'll have to examine their walk

...

You check their browser cookies. If they frequent Veeky Forums, they're most definitely a virgin.
>inb4 some story about how you fucked a hundred girls
no, you did not.

>memes

Only if it was direct contact I guess? Mind you this is all via the arbitrary ruleset laid forth by some virgin on the internet.

No penis in the cunt. Anywhere else works.

benis in bagina.

What about someone who's in an open relationship where virtually nothing counts as cheating?

they also don't lose their virginity for performing acts solely for reproduction so I don't even know

It's actually based primarily on the sum of your worldly experiences divided by your IQ. Nothing to do with whether or not you've had sex at all.

A lot of people get that one wrong, for some reason. Gives devils a hell of a laugh.

>saying "I love you" counts as sex
You heard it here first, folks!

Even if the sentiment isn't returned!

>saying "i love you" is cheating

Attached: 1520351492468.jpg (480x640, 74K)

Pretty much this.

Attached: 1448431757449.png (622x126, 37K)

Only if you mean it in a romantic sense. Familial/platonic isn't cheating, it's k to love your mom

is this like golf rules then? I don't even get where your formula is going

Well, let's call it "The Unicorn Rule". Unicorns only get along with virgins and can recognize your virginity subconsciously. Do you think the unicorn would want to be pals with you if it knew of your magical realm games?

Filthy degenerates are not virgins user
Not only is wrong as an example, but I was also responding to an user asking on where the gradient should be, I wasn't generalizing

Don't trust this incestuous user

Objection! If that is the clause, then a virgin birth is impossible! And thus, the Virgin Mary was a fraud!

Look guys, I'm sure there's some minor cantrip ritual that involves virgin blood that you can preform using a few drops of the stuff to check for purity of the reagent before use in larger rituals. This means when you're purchasing virgin blood, you can be sure the stuff is genuine. Or perhaps its done on a reputation of the seller system. Certain well known sellers have a reputation for offering the real deal with a money back guarantee, so you know you can purchase with confidence. This will save you a lot of time inspecting young women for purity before harvesting a large amount of blood.

Well, let's consult the jury.

I shall tell you of five women, and you shall tell me which are virgins and which are not.

>1. Hasn't laid with a man, but touches herself at night.
>2. Hymen was torn in non-sexual activity, remains chaste.
>3. A whore, but she only takes it in the butt. She's saving the rest for marriage.
>4. Used magic to knock herself up; Has never even touched a man without gloves on.
>5. Hasn't laid with a man, but writes and publishes erotic stories through an agent, with the intent of pleasuring the reader.

As with all things infernal, the devil is in the details. The viginity of blood is only what the council agrees it is.

Attached: 1498956215047.jpg (1024x1448, 220K)

I know you're memeing, but Mary was the Virgin, not baby Jesus.

That is my point precisely! One cannot give birth without a torn hymen somewhere in the process, unless we're getting those godless surgeons involved. Your honor, does my point not stand?

I don't know man this is all so complicated

Can't we just kill each other for loot and exp instead?

1.No, this includes guys has well.
2.yes.
3.Depends if we're within the Roman republic/empire or not.
4.On a technicality, yes.
5.yes.

This is why you aren't fit to be a conjurer. Your parents must be so very disappointed about how their tuition to the mages' academy was ultimately spent.

For 1. touching one's self doesnt have to mean finger banging. And if they do finger bang, does it count if they've not gotten far enough in to mess with anything?

I just wanted to kill people and take their stuff

Attached: saddest guts.jpg (397x411, 48K)

Okay guys but what about if they use tampons?

If 4 were to have a virgin daughter, would that be a double virgin?
Is that exponentially more valuable, or just double?

which is why it's considered a miracle

Maybe he was born by ceacarian? Not like that was imposible at the time. Just look at the name of the operation.

Look, sign a deal with me and I'll get you the sharpest sword around. Settle it out of the courts and all.

Stop blaming your horse, harlot. Our clans shall never unite, and we will remember the indignity you tried to foist upon my son!

Yeah, but wouldn't it tear on the way out? Or are you saying baby jesus just phased through? Is that the true miracle of Christmas?

My point about the surgeons, yes. Not impossible, but certainly something that seems like it'd be mentioned somewhere.

If your cock has ever entered someone else's body you are not a virgin.

If someone else's cock has ever entered your body you are not a virgin.

Yes, gold star lesbians are virgins.

You don't know what happens down there during birth do you?

Do I look like a godless surgeon to you?

Yes.

Virginity is a social construct, we're all whores.

Except for you, user, you limp-dicked cherryboy.

If anything she did is in Shindols ergence, she ain't a virgin.

one who is not a wizard

Inmaculate conception, nothing about childbirth.

Peanus in Bagina :DDDDD

I am here for threads like this.

Attached: 1373317364342.jpg (599x449, 53K)

Yes.

Jesus was a selectively permeable material.

You all know the "Virgin Mary" refers to the fact she is pure of all sin even the original one and it has nothing to do with her virginity?

But that's wrong you silly.

who told you that, the wiccan? reminder that wiccan's date from the 1960s. Virginity was considered a magical force historically, they buried virgins with structures to keep them standing and I recall a story of a famous greek philospher in egypt during the the bronze age who was fucking pissed because he couldn't find virgin piss for medicine because there were no virgins in egypt.

if 1 doesn't count, I am going to say virgins don't exist past puberty.

its literally called immaculate conception in the bible.

And this is why Magic doesn't work for anyone.

Now things are really getting messy. What calls the immaculate conception is actually the virgin birth and what calls the virgin birth is actually the immaculate conception.
Furthermore, the term "immaculate conception" does not occur in the bible and the concept is rejected by most protestants. In contrast, both Catholics and most protestants believe in the virgin birth.

Never had sex.

The court of hell here in defines a virgin as follows in the following catagory.

A virgin shall be defined as a mortal being who has not partaken in the act of sexual intercourse with another cognative being. Masturbation is exempt from this definition.

A pure virgin is the above mentioned with the adation that in the case of a female they have not experienced any form of penitration during the act of self satisfaction.

Sexual intercourse shall be defined as partaking in any act which results in the sexual gratification or one or both parties

THE COURT OD HELL HAS SPOKEN!

please see the receptionist as they shall validate parking, the next case shall be hell v Winstein on the case of "just the tip"

I hate to ask, but got sauce on that? Image search just says "cartoon"

It's likely that the virgin birth is apocryphal. That sort of thing is common in pagan folklore but practically unheard of in Semitic folklore. In addition, why would the gospels discuss Jesus' genealogy if Joseph isn't really his father?

Virginity is vastly overrated. From what I've experienced, virgins don't know what they're doing and just kind of flop around in a stressed-out, uselessly non-erotic manner for months until they start figuring it out.

But then again I'm talking about real ones and not the pop-culture-fantasy-virgin which is fully proficient at sex from the instant he or she becomes aware of it.

Attached: caring feel.jpg (900x675, 56K)

No physical contact of the genitals. Neither being touched or having touched.

There's an argument to be made of not seeing anothers genitals, but that might be too picky.

saucenao.com/search.php?url=https://i.4cdn.org/tg/1521582288220.jpg

No microchimerism acquired after birth and no venereal diseases.

Attached: 1515558920787.jpg (405x266, 21K)

It's about the emotional implications

Well, First we need to be able to have a measure somehow to calculate the virginity status.

Would it be a matter of utilizing magic to perform a "Virginity scan?"

Even then we risk corrupting the results with the number of wizards to perform this experiment.

Posts virginity threads on Veeky Forums.

You forget the most important metaphysical rule: belief is power.

If the subject truly believes themselves to be a virgin, for the purpose of magic, they are.

Neither do wizards.

BRB making two kids rape each other and pulling them apart before either of them climax mid-coitus because the infernal baron finds deflowering to be "uncouth".

Attached: gld_16.jpg (1048x1514, 521K)

That makes sense, someone with the emotional immaturity to simultaneously put virginity on a pedestal and cover losing his own would look for someone with similar views