So I want to play a cleric and I want him to carry his holy book with him at all time and quote from it whenever he can

Proverbs relating to your deity or religion are always fun to have and create in advance, since you might often want to use them in various situations. However, sermons and general evangelism is better suited for off the cuff demonstrations of your wit.

then bullshit on the spot. But read some biblical quotes first and copy the general prose.

Ride The Tiger

take a bible
change some words around

Mad GM here. Don't help this asshole. He can't be bothered to write a few proverbs, imagine/flesh out the ideology of his PC religion or even just copy paste some lame shit one google search could find. Yet GM's are expected to flesh out an entire world. Which, don't get me wrong, I love doing, but you need player input, and this guy won't even try.

I love playing clerics, creating gods and religious backgrounds for them and making them something more than a generic Healbot or Sun praiser. Its kinda my thing in my DnD/Pathfinder group and I like working with my DM when he does world building.

So when i saw this threat I was on board...
then i saw this shit:
>That seems complicated
>Writing anything will require too much effort from my part.

If you dont want to put int the legwork then just bullshit as this guy proposes but if you dont want to put in the effort then dont expect others too.

Im with the Mad GM, screw this lazy ass OP, probably worships Aergia or something.

THE IMPURE WILL BE CONSUMED IN THE FIRES STOKED BY THEIR OWN INEQUITY. THE LEVEL HAND OF VENGEANCE WILL STRIKE DOWN WITH GREAT FURY ALL THAT STANDS IN THE PATH OF RIGHTEOUS HATE. SO SAYS THE BOOK OF RAGE!

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Watch Boondock Saints.

When I played a cleric of Bane, I just took quotes from the Old Testament, and replaced the words GOD or LORD with BANE.

>The kings of the earth rise up and the rulers band together against the BANE and against his anointed, saying,"Let us break their chains and throw off their shackles." The One enthroned in heaven laughs; BANE scoffs at them.He rebukes them in his anger and terrifies them in his wrath, saying, "I have installed my king on Celestia, my holy mountain."

Step 1. Think of 6 rules of your cleric's faith. 1 major, 2 significant, and 3 minor.
Step 2. Form these rules into sorts of quotes from the holy book.
Step 3. Add 2-3 more quotes.
Step 4. Use thes quotes when applicable and add some bullshit whenever you feel like.

this is more OP has admitted to be willing to do
fuck him

While OP is lazy, the real fun would be to have a cleric who reads out random passages from the holy book when they're not relevant.

>Cleric is crushing goblins "And Abaron begat Hadroon who begat Clive"
>Comforting someone "And lo the evildooer is crushed by the weight of my rancor"
>Raising an army of fanatics "Blessed be those who are kind to their neighbour"
>Or just a verse which makes no sense without context "Weavils, badgers, and poisoners"

Fighter: Why is Jorge always mumbling to himself?
Wizard: I really dont know, its starting to creep me out...
Cleric: A bitched shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord...whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery...

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>Isaiah 34:3
>“Their slain also shall be cast out, and their stink shall come up out of their carcases, and the mountains shall be melted with their blood.”

This, I stopped caring about helping OP when he said coming up with his own shit sounded "complicated". Fuck you, OP.

MAH NIGGA

I remember that guy being the best villain in that entire show, especially when he died and they found out his precious book contained nothing but a photo of him, a woman, and some kids. That scene stuck with me not only because of how poignant it is, but how they didn't explain it. It was pretty easy to figure out what it was all about and the show expected you to instead of explaining its drama by beating you over the head with it.

The show wasn't honestly that great overall, IMO. Ezekial Rage was the crowning achievement in it.

what anime is it from?

The Real Adventures of Johnny Quest. It was a 90's reboot of the cartoon, basically. Like I said, it wasn't that great of a show when you get down to brass tacks, but it wasn't TERRIBLE. Ezekiel Rage's episodes were like someone flipped the "this show is now actually fucking interesting" switch.

'The Real Adventures of Jonny Quest'
IIRC they do explain his background, extremely briefly - maybe this was just in the comics. He was a CIA operative.

>On an assignment in Panagua, he was discovered, and fled with his wife and daughter by car. The United States declined to help him escape, and he crashed the car off a cliff, surviving with serious burns all over his body; his family was not so lucky. Bent on revenge against the government and a world perceived corrupt, he took on the name Ezekiel Rage and the costume of a Dia de los Muertos celebrator, complete with skeletal arm attachment and wide-brimmed hat.

And yes, the book he quoted constantly, the Book of Rage- was just an album full of pictures of his family. One of the better things about him though was how fucking unkillable he was. In his debut episode, they left him aboard a plane as it crashed into a canyon wall. Then he came back, and tried to pull off a fucking COLONY DROP on Earth. They foiled it but the Space Station section he was on crashed into the ocean.

THEN HE CAME BACK.

He stole a fucking nuke, copied it, and set bombs up at the polar caps with the hopes of melting the caps and causing global flooding. No explosions this time, he just escaped.

In his final episode, he got ANOTHER NUKE, drilled a hole into the earths mantle and basically planned to Dr. Evil the globe. At this point it got silly (we were in season 2 which was worse), and they literally used time travel to go back in time and stop him. He wound up getting teleported back to the time of the dinosaurs with his Nuke before it went off.

My enjoyment of that scene was primarily due to them not explaining it, so that sucks. I know they didn't in the show, so it could have been the comics.

>teleported back to the time of the dinosaurs with his Nuke before it went off
did....did they cause the extinction?

the wiki says they "closed a causality loop"

...so possibly?

Yeah it was most likely the Comics. In the show it was a really great twist though. This whole time he keeps quoting this book and there's nothing inside but pictures of his wife and kid. It's kind of signalled though by how he hallucinates that Jessie is his daughter multiple times

so...youre telling me....Ezekial Rage could have ended the world of the "corrupt and impure" if hed NOT tried to nuke the world?

That depends on whether the world would split off into two different stable timelines or if one would be erased.

Either way it still wouldn't, because then there'd either be two corrupt and impure worlds or there'd be one corrupt and impure world that possibly still has dinosaurs. Which is awesome as fuck but still corrupt and impure.

you could immediately tell if an episode was good or bad if it took place in Quest World.

“Step by step walk the thousand-mile road.”

"It is in this sense that I recommend the guard without a guard. Whatever the situation is, you hold the sword so that you can slash your opponent.”

“To cut and to slash are two different things. Cutting, whatever form of cutting it is, is decisive, with a resolute spirit. Slashing is nothing more than touching the enemy. Even if you slash strongly, and even if the enemy dies instantly, it is slashing. When you cut, your spirit is resolved.”

"This is the Way for men who want to learn my strategy:
Do not think dishonestly.
The Way is in training.
Become acquainted with every art.
Know the Ways of all professions.
Distinguish between gain and loss in worldly matters.
Develop intuitive judgment and understanding for everything.
Perceive those things which cannot be seen.
Pay attention even to trifles.
Do nothing which is of no use."

"To master the virtue of the long sword is to govern the world and oneself, thus the long sword is the basis of strategy. The principle is "strategy by means of the long sword". If he attains the virtue of the long sword, one man can beat ten men. Just as one man can beat ten, so a hundred men can beat a thousand, and a thousand men can beat ten thousand. In my strategy, one man is the same as ten thousand, so this strategy is the complete warrior's craft."

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Take cool sounding phrases from everything. The bible, koran, torah, Guru Granth Sahib, etc...