"I want to hold the closing door open"

>"I want to hold the closing door open"
>GM: Roll a 2d6
>*rolls two natural 6's*
>everyone: HOLY SHITTTTTT
>GM: You rip the door off it's hinges and throw it 300ft away!

ITT: Times you were cool

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One time I made a thread dripping with hyperbole in order to make fun of a specific thing I don't like because I don't know how to express myself without a layer of sarcasm.
Oh, and because I like making pointless threads, I guess.

>"can I make a knowledge check to see if I know about this monster?"
>"sure"
>natural 20
>everyone: "HOLY SHITTTTT"
>"you tap into the fabric of the universe and assume all knowledge in existence. Not only do you know exactly how to kill this monster, but doing so is now unnecessary as it has recognized your vastly superior intellect and pledged itself to your cause for all time."

>"I'd like to roll bluff and tell him we killed the goblins."
>"go ahead"
>nat 20
>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>"You hear a cacophony of screams from all directions as every goblin alive immediately drops dead. You gain 14 levels from the experience."

>"I snipe the leader"
>"Roll that d100"
>Natural 100
>everyone "HOLY CRACKERS"
>GM: Your bullet curves and snipes a seemingly ordinary thug, but you know now in your mind he was the actual leader of the bandit group posing as a mere raider.

>"roll to hit"
>natural 21
>the GM screams in pain as his soul is sucked out through his nostrils and disintegrated.
>Gygax descends from the heavens and announces me to be the new GM

Isnt 100 usually bad in d100?

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>Gygax went to heaven.

Bullshit.

yes. he left thinking he was successful by killing some rando while the threat remained, after all

Yeah. He actually shot the wrong guy and thought it was the leader, blowing their cover and causing the assassination to be a failure.

When he died he rolled a d20 with his last breath and got a nat 20.

>"I roll to hit"
>Rolls nat 1
>everyone: "HOLY SHITTTTTTT"
>GM: "Your weapon breaks on the orc's armor and flies into your head at mach speeds, but not before raping your mother and slitting your future wife's throat open and kicking you in the balls while pressing a billion burning cigarettes on your arm at once and raping your anus"

>"roll to hit"
>roll a natural 10.5
>"oh shitt!"
>"the orc blocks your attack before counterattacking, you block his and also counter. This continues for all of eternity, the two of you locked in an eternal stalemate of perfectly matched skill."

>"Roll to hit"
>roll a natural 14
>"Miss"
That's usually how it always goes

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> the entire point of RPGs is laughing

God how I hate this autistic sentiment. It has been perpetuated by the retarded greentexts on this board where "lol you get nat20 on persuasion so the orc guard lets you buttfuck him" and "lol nat 1 on your sword haha you stab a tree and die HAHAHAHA"

This kind of shit is magnified by systems that literally encourage giving out "luck points" for particularly funny (read: autistic) play that causes fat neckbeards to roar in laughter and pound on the table.

Humor has its place in the game. A game with no laughter is going to be boring indeed. But when you hijack your storyline for cheap laughs and whore it out just to have what is most "epik" and would make a good Veeky Forums screenshot, you are destroying the fabric that makes RPGs such a reward hobby, and raping it for the sake of your lisp-ridden autistic laughter.

Stop.

Someone had fun in a way I didn't approve of so I beat them halfway to death

>No stop playing your rpg's the way you want to and find fun and rewarding play it my way cause its the true way and the only way that matters and i'm too autistic to tolerate anybody else having a good time in a different way to me.

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>"I roll to detect traps"
>GM: roll 1d20
>get a nat 20
>"suddenly you become aware of every single trap in the dungeon and can see the entirety of the dungeon in your minds eye, every single door and lock in the dungeon unlocks itself for you upon sensing your overwhelming presence and the other characters all immediately drop down and start sucking your cock"

BAZINGA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!1!1`°°°°°°°°!!!!!!

>no kind sir you're belief that tact must be maintained is wrong and bad i enjoy arpeegees the way i like best and if my fun levels consist of "lawl NAT TWENNY!!! ecks dee" that is my business and you are a fun time killer for wanting the level public dialog to not go through the floor when i want it too

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All this mad

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>Roll nat 1
>GM says I poo poo everywhere
>Everyone at table is disgusted at me personally
>Not even GM's magical realm

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I'd be disgusted too, you fucking pig.

>"I swing at him with my sword"
>nat 20
>roll to confirm
>miss
>deal normal damage
haha wow guys imagine if this happened

D100
Playing the company by any chance?

the fuck is wrong with you?

Is there something wrong with the poo poos?
For those unfamiliar with this anime, this middle schooler is currently on the toilet.

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Ahem, that demon middle schooler is currently on the トイレ.

There was this one time that a player for some reason rolled a 1d20 to piss on the corpse of a fallen enemy. Since he rolled a 1 for a wholly unnecessary and uncalled for test, he pissed in his pants instead.