Cash out anonymously

Hey anons, I’ve got 5 figures in crypto, and I want to cash out a couple thousand. I have a close friend who has fallen on hard times, and he badly needs a laptop. I want to buy him one with a bit of my crypto earnings, though I haven’t found a way to withdraw BTC or any other crypto for USD without going through a bank or some other identity-dependent gateway. LocalBitcoins doesn’t have many options. I’ve made so many crypto trades that my taxes aren’t in order, and I was planning on sorting them out when I have enough money to hire an accountant to compile everything for me. So I would prefer to do this under the table until I get that sorted.

So my question is, does anybody know of a way to anonymously exchange $2K worth of crypto for cash or a Best Buy / Apple Store gift card? If not, would $2K being moved to my bank from Coinbase sic the IRS dogs on me? Thanks

Bamp

I'll sell you a decent laptop, user for straight crypto.

It's a Clevo P650RE3 with a 6700HQ, 8GB RAM, and a 970M. All adult owned and it's been wrapped in a laptop skin since day 1 so it's virtually flawless.

Sell a bitcoin on craigslist for like 1-2k discount in person cash. Meet at a Starbucks, use your fucking head dude.

Oh and depending where you live you may have to drive a couple of hours.

Just get one from Newegg, they take bitcoinz.

Nice dubs btw. I was thinking 750 with priority shipping and insurance within CONUS. Might be a bit more if you're outside the U.S.

Appreciate the offer, but I’m getting him a Mac. He’s not tech-savvy but owns an iPhone and he will find a MBP much easier to get used to as a first laptop.

I’ll look into this and see if craigslist crypto exchanges are common in my area

bitflur.com bro

Damn, would love to offload this thing for crypto. Local bitcoins is your best best on remaining truly user from the tax man.

purse.io

>Appreciate the offer, but I’m getting him a Mac.

Is your friend terminally retarded? That's the only justification for the mac pricepoints.

Crypto to Amazon?
Does Amazon stock Apple?

Just check overstock, pretty sure you can get a MacBook and pay with Bitcoin.

????????

what??
Thats potentially the stupidest thing ive ever heard

buy him one with btc on Newegg noob

and getting tracked by DHS

He wants to do something nice for his friend, don't get autistic over what you like over what works for normies.

How are you niggers making gains in crypto and still sticking by shitty plastic PCs? Why wouldn’t you get a Mac if you could afford it? It can dual-boot with your cancerous Windows or self-compiled Gentoo if he ever cared to get that involved with it. I appreciate all the tips though

this is bait

>metal is a good laptop material
I agree, it is bait

II’ll walk it back—if he was interested in PC gaming I would not look at a Mac. But it’s a no-brainer if the price is feasible for you and you’re already partially integrated in the Apple ecosystem

wrong. he's right. autistic neets are too self centered and stupid to realize this.

>friend is so poor he can't take care of himself
>Owns an iPhone and only uses luxury fashion computers

t. never owned a macbook

I just run distros off mine, there's literally no better laptop hardware experience.

Buy gold and resell it.

>mac
All sympathy for your friend down the drain

What's wrong with osx though? It's more reliable than the other options.

have you used a mac recently? shits gone downhill.

I have one and its been collecting dust in the corner

buying a mac because someone uses an iphone is stupid

buy him a cheap car and tell him to get a job

...

Have a hackintosh and manage a few at work. They're doing okay.

I agree that things have taken a step back. OSX was god tier before Jobs died and quality control went out the window.

Still heads and shoulders above the clusterfuck that is W10 but Debian is a nice secondary install.

I highly doubt the IRS gives a fuck about $2k.