Dad thinks I'm some kind of genius

>Dad thinks I'm some kind of genius.
He puts 50$ in an Ameritrade just to start out and wants me to watch the stocks/buy low dollar stocks,penny stocks and basically make money, I think he's testing me before putting in more money
What the fuck am I supposed to do, I know about stocks but I've never done this shit. Am I supposed to invest in Doge coin or some shit?

Is this board being raided by high schoolers or something?

No, apologies. I'm almost 20, I'm just a NEET who is starting community college in a few days. I've browsed here before and I didn't really expect help 100% but I have nowhere else to go other than do my own research which I am currently doing

....are you trading crypto or stocks? Doge is a fucking coin.

As for stocks, lol. Have fun researching your ass off about each individual stock, trying to find something that you think indicates it's undervalued, then learning a shitload of technical analysis to time your entry point and then make like 2%.

Have fun with that. We'll be riding the crypto bubble measuring our gains in "x" not "%".

My dad kinda has flavor of the month "get rich quick schemes"
Yeah, I'm trading stocks, Not Crypto, If it was my decision, I would be trading Crypto since that has been the craze for a while now. Fuckin christ though. Your take on stocks is quite discouraging

Crypto fundamentals boil down to technological features and are pretty simple to understand, so it's almost all just psychological trading points. This and the fact we're in a bubble makes it feel like a fucking video game.

But if that's true your father would have already bought crypto. Penny stocks might be similar though but I would wager they are even more risky than crypto.

But seriously if that's what you have to do, then research a ton, study up on fundamentals, consider how a market behaves psychologically and imagine what other investors are thinking, and use technical analysis as a tool to help you do this. Not a definitive guide but a tool to help you understand what other investors might be thinking. Go to tradingview.com and open the interactive chart, then click on "indicators" and learn what those mean. It's going to take you a while.

Tell me about yourself user. Friendless neet? Does your dad look down on you?

I'm curious because my dad was big into stocks but lost big in the dotcom bubble burst and later 08 recession. Then he lost his job and blew his brains out. I'd be curious as to how he would've handled me being a NEET shutin making crypto gains.

Thanks man. I appreciate it. I will study up on all of that. I have a pretty low starting base so hopefully my Dad loses interest before I make some fuck up and make him disappointed in me.
Fuckin hell, I hate being in this position

Nocoin here and Veeky Forums newfag here.

Are there any comprehensive Veeky Forums guides on getting started with crypto? I'm having difficulty sorting through the fluff and shilling online, was wondering if anyone here assembled something perhaps along the lines of the Veeky Forums sticky for beginners.

go to coinmarketcap, pick something between rank 30 and rank 120 in market cap, make sure the price is going horizontally or is reversing direction, split your porfolio between at least 3 coins, congrats you're a millionaire and now you think you're some sort of crypto genius because you're trading in the most insane bull run in human history

Just buy weed stocks and hold them for a few years

Depends how new you are... if you're just starting today, go sign up for a bunch of exchanges and wait for verification. Like Coinbase (Gdax), Gemini, Cex.io, Kraken, Poloniex, Bittrex, Binance, Kucoin, etc., others depending on your location. Sign up for them and look at the coins on them.

Use coinmarketcap.com to track the coins but you can't actually trade on that site. Then just research coins you like that are interesting to you.

If you're that fucking new just google "blockchains" and read all about them. It will ALL make sense once you understand what blockchain technology is and what different coins have to offer.

like father like son

I eagerly look forward to an inflated sensation of intellectual superiority from making gains to my 120$ poorfag status. Which exchange do you use? Newfags such as myself cannot register anywhere so am I locked out of these free gains?

Buy an ETF and be done with it

Hey thanks man, appreciate it. I think about half the links you shared are closed for registration, But gdax seems open, do you recommend that?

Also gonna look into blockchain, this is all very overwhelming at the moment, But I'm willing to learn.

XP safest investment

Damn. 50 bux won’t even get yOu a diversified etf. Tell your dad. You need at least 5000. Then put it all into amd.

Gdax = 0% trading fees for limit orders (only exchange I know that consistently does this). But they report a lot to the IRS and government and are generally disliked for being so corporate and working with the government. They're the most "legit," the biggest exchange, with FDIC insurance for fiat. They're the most common exchange for new people and so they have to keep their interface up to date and able to support unbelievably large amounts of people, but it will still crash a lot.

I was basically a fat kid with terrible anxiety issues and no friends my entire life. I refused to go to school in 8th grade and faked being sick and made myself throw up.
Went back freshman year. Was like 300 lbs and 16. Anxiety got too bad, Started doing it again in 10th grade. School called my bullshit and made me do an online high school.
Basically finished high school in about 3 months and graduated at 16 but I was a fucking anxious depressed friendless fat loser idiot and I hate myself for it, I had like a 2.1 GPA, I didn't expect I would ever go to college.

Ever since, I've gotten into philosophy, Went from 300 lbs to currently 172 and 6 feet and finally get attention from women but mentally I'm just so fucked and I've been a friendless NEET since 16. I'm 19 now and freaking out about starting Community college in about 10 days, I've been going to doctors to try and get help and therapists and shit the past few months and I'm just a depressed mess right now. I am trying to make friends through Instagram though and still reading philosophy and I am going to do my absolute best at this community college so I can go to a Uni and prove I'm not a stupid fucking fat ugly idiot like every one in my life used to think
but it does get hard to stay motivated some times, Some times I think suicide would be a better way out especially in the weeks where I would not even get out of bed or leave my room. Oh, another thing is that a year ago, we moved from Ohio which I've lived my entire life to Arizona and it just fucked me up even more

That is who I am. I think my parents used to really look down on me and hate me but about 5 months ago I took DXM and I've started not really giving a fuck about anything and just living life however I want because I have little fear of death and I've started being closer to my mom and more open with her and due to that, my parents have realized I'm really troubled and I'm actively trying to change so they are happier

top 5 philosophers and then I may help you

Jesus, this website is for you. How long you been here?
I normally shoo away fucking newfags but maybe you can stay.

Did he die?

Alright, then I'll set up my first purchases on Gdax. I found this place from a Veeky Forums feels thread where an user inspired me with how he made a few thousand starting from 100$, I hope to only be even partially as successful as that.

I made roughly $300,000 in this space since February of 2017 starting with just $3,000. You'll be fine.

We may, however, suffer a significant market correction soon so be wary of that.

You just need to wake the fuck up and realize that your past is behind you and doesn't mean shit at all. No more holding yourself back or fear of failure, failure is part of everyone's life user, you have to take risks and lose some times to make it.

Getting pretty motivated/obsessed with this stuff and I'm actually really excited to join in. Gonna lurk a bit more with my own research then gonna start playing around. Thanks for the advice and inspiration senpai!

>Am I supposed to invest in Doge coin or some shit?
I don't think you can buy Doge on Ameritrade. Yet.
>>/r9k/
You're gonna fit right in.

This board, I've browsed for a couple years.
Veeky Forums? I've been here for a decade aka the big 08 newfag influx.
Top 5? In no particular order
Nietzche, He's popular in our nihilistic overly ironic society but I really like his thoughts on Dionysus and of tragic disposition
Carl Jung
I love the Illiad and the thoughts it's inspired, So I guess "Homer" If he even existed
I think religion and philosophy are very closely related, I really like buddhist teachings.
Socrates

I think it's hard to make a top 5. I don't think any Philosopher is correct or agreeable 100% and I think they're not a great philosopher if they think they are so you really have to just keep listening to ideas and thinking for yourself and applying a philosopher's ideas in your very own way that makes you content.
I don't fucking know, I probably just sound pretentious as fuck and I don't think I am smart or a genius,, I know what I know and I want to continue learning and rearranging my beliefs until I die. I understand my flaws though, I think being aware of your flaws and being too weak to do something about it makes me pathetic, The greatest thinker isn't really useful until he can get his thoughts out there and influence people or put his thoughts to actions, I'm just a fucking NEET doing nothing.
I've tried to read as much as I can about philosophy and political sciences lately, You might think I'm entry level or whatever, It's fine.
Do what you want lad,I've taken the advice that's already been posted and I'll still probably fuck up on these 50$ but it's only 50$ so life will move on.

Sorry about the fucking book, I really like thinking and since I'm usually just alone in my room with no friends, I have a lot of time to do that so when people ask me my thoughts, I'll write them a fuckin thesis.

I'm working on it. I'm hoping I can use my failures to fuel my success. Some times it's hard to not to be numb to it all

>Implying I'm not already a robot

I'm 2008 too but how do you not have crypto if you've been on Veeky Forums for a few years?

Also Plato's Republic was one of the most important books in my life.

NEET, no money and
I'm not personally interested in stock or crypto trading myself.I just kind of like seeing what you guys are talking about and reading all of your plots

Raided? The average Veeky Forums poster's age is like 17

Follow Heidegger's advice and read Aristotle until you cant stand it anymore.

Will do, captain