How To Convince Boomers of Crypto?

>So Crypto is going to crash why is everyone shilling?
This isn't for you.

You're the one who's a normie, I have autism, no friends, in fact i want to do well in crpyto so i can pay people to be my friends. I also have learning disabilities am very short and have a slightly deformed face. I'm the opposite of a normie.

So because the laws in this country which i have no control over basically allow my mom to do this that somehow means it's not my game?

>I'm retarded and ugly
>Mommy won't let me buy internet bux
>4chin help me, mommy doesn't understand
>Help me make money to make waste on paying people to tolerate me

It sounds like you have plenty of free time to DYOR fag.

if you cant find a way to buy crypto without your mom finding out you are literally retarded

>pic related
>its OP

I'm only allowed an hour of internet usage a day and i can't reserach if i don't have a 130IQ and understand this shit like you guys

I made an etherdelta account i don't know how to import money into it from my bank account so i can buy, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU DO?

Stop being a beta fuck and go all in. You'll be leaving her in the smoke of your lambo by Christmas. If you capitulate now, you'll be under her thumb until she dies, and you'll never have a life where you do what makes you happy.

Source: Am 30 and have a nice buy overbearing mother.

Retarded, or underage?

I'm 18 but i do have learning disabilities and really need to get on this crpyto thing because I'll probably end up on disability my whole life in a group home if i don't i can't even do a fucking job at McDonalds without fucking up

How tho? I have an ether account? How do i put money in it says "wallet: 0.00000" how do i put money from my bank account in.

You may want to give pic related a shot before getting all your mommy's money stolen by other retards and getting put in timeout.

I'll give you a little help. XRP could be good, but high marketcaps have very little potential to go 2x quickly. Choose low to mid marketcaps with a lot of potential.

60% DRGN, 5% VIBE, 5% SGR, 5% BBT, and do what you want with the rest.

How do i buy that? Like what do i click? I have to put in my email problem is my mom has my email password so she can easily go on my account.

Register on coinbase. Connect to your bank account. Transfer $, then buy ETH on GDAX when your $ arrives in your USD coinbase wallet. GDAX and coinbase are the same company and transfers from one to the other are free. If you buy directly from coinbase, you pay like a 7% premium because they charge you a huge buy fee and the price listed on coinbase is usually inflated. GDAX has a very tiny fee that most exchanges have.

Is this portfolio supposed to be more retarded than OP?

Protip: you can't buy anything on EtherDelta without first buying crypto. If you can't figure out this first step then you should almost certainly stay way.

FUCK HE'S LARPING. Nice one OP. Ya got me.

Hoenstly fuck this I just tried to print off my code for etherdelta and my mom came in to see what i was printing. She saw it and was yelling at me and I didn't know what to say so I just said it was a link to a youtube video i want to show a friend and she doesn't believe me but if i can't even do one simple thing without getting in trouble i can't do this.

>learning disability
>investing in crypto
kek you never learn

You're obviously trolling. I know you don't actually know how to do this shit

I figured that out now, but how do i buy crpyto in the first place?

Immortalize this fucking thread.

if you ae in high school how the fuck are your parents boomers

Kek I really fucking hope you're just pretending to be retarded.

His parents being boomers would explain him being retarded

go back to benghal and you won't have to worry about those coins anyway

Boomer parents at age 18 is an impressive case of "I don't care about the health of my offspring" indeed.

get out downs normie

Around 2012 (I think) I heard about bitcoin on Veeky Forums. I was gonna invest £100 in bitcoin at £7 a coin but really didn't have the money. Would now be worth £200k+? I missed the first boat but there's more about to sail.

ITS MY MONEY DINGUS

Do you want me to post proof? If so what should i do for that? I could video record my mom coming into my room but how would i put that here?

They had me at 45 and 44 because they wanted to spend their youth travelling and such.

im sick of all these newfags

>They had me at 45 and 44 because they wanted to spend their youth travelling and such.
I'm fucking dying. Holy shit I hate boomers.

I have autism im not a normie

If you record and post a video of your mom coming into your room with a timestamp I'll send you .5 ETH (~$500)

She also has to confirm your retardation.

Problem is, I don't even know how to cash in Eth so to me that would just be a line of code I don't understand. I will try that but then how do i post it?

This is what you do:

Say that you only want to invest a little bit of money so you can get experienced with how charts work, trading, and market psychology. Say you want to learn more about money and find it an interesting space. Tell her that parents used to discourage their children from gaming and now you can become a millionaire with it. Say that this is a similar scenario.

Tell her that its educational, try to convince them there's a lot to learn ( there is).

Or just stop being a pussy and do it anyway, they aren't going to kick you out of the house, they're just larping

Tell her that parents used to discourage their children from gaming and now you can become a millionaire with it

Don't do this

Bad example because my parents HATE videogames and don't let me play. But i understand what you mean about the just getting used to charts and market psychology

So how? How do i do it? Like sign into a site?

get the fuck off this board

Why? I don't want to finally come in when i live on my own and the crypto thing is already gone. I know this is another .com thing so i want to make some money off it.

If you're from the EU go here: litebit.eu

and purchase crypto's straight from your bank. If you think thats to risky because your parents have access to your bank history then you go on localbitcoins to find someone willing to sell someone to you P2P

Or go on Bitcointalk and find someone from your area that is willing to sell you some.

After that you could just hang out in libraries to do your trading and research away from your parents.

How old are you anyway?

And where the fuck is your spirit of rebellion? You won't believe the shit I pulled being a teenager and got away with it, 90% my parents still don't know nor will they ever.

>parents had me at 44 & 45

Will boomers go down as the most hated generation ever? Did they do anything good for this world?

I just turned 18 my parents say i could do what i wanted when i turned 18 but im 18 and they still won't let me do it

Problem is im not allowed to leave the house unless they know where im going and they usually confirm where im going by calling the parents of whoever im with so that will not work at all. But im not from EU

I used to be rebellious I snuck out once to go to a friends house at night but they found out and sent me to a shrink and they told parents at school and they told their kids and i became a freak at school and it was just a terrible experience. I decided to just stop doing stuff like that.

I kek'd so hard at that img desu

YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED ON Veeky Forums get off this board underage piece of shit. kys litte faggot.

and to all the others in this thread i get the feeling you all are from the board with the upvotes and shit. go back there you dont belong here

Given your posting style I doubt you're even in high school. Don't invest in crypto, you'll lose everything.

Polite sage

>ITS MY MONEY DINGUS
Then why are you bitching about
>MOMMY WON'T LET ME!
underage faggot

Don't invest into crypto. You will go to jail the moment you are caught.

Holy shit.. you got some controllive parents, you should have dealt with that when you we're 13-14.. now you're late and still feel the breath of boomer control freak in your neck.

You can say that you're going to the library right? Who they gonna call? Ghostbusters?

Dang dude.. you're fucked.

>Problem is, I don't even know how to cash in Eth so to me that would just be a line of code I don't understand.
You'll just need to post your full name, address, birthdate, social security number, mother's maiden name and I'll send in the mail.

>I will try that but then how do i post it?
What is youtube?

>I don't want to finally come in when i live on my own and the crypto thing is already gone
If you can't figure how to setup a Coinbase account I don't think you'll last long on your own pal

>I just turned 18 my parents say i could do what i wanted when i turned 18 but im 18 and they still won't let me do it
I wonder why

>I just turned 18 my parents say i could do what i wanted when i turned 18 but im 18 and they still won't let me do it
Yet you want to put money in the riskiest most volatile market ever. OP is confirmed retard.

Since when is 18 underage

I am almost done highschool actually

Because she still set houserules and kick me out if i don't comply. It's my bank account she still can kick me out if i spend it how she doesn't want because it's her law.

Well its either rebell and see if they larp or get out of the house and be free to do what you want.

this is comedy gold

Because they all hope to cash out BEFORE it crashes

They don't want you to move out. They enjoy having you around as an excuse. They enjoy pretending like your existence is a burden. You're an invaluable scapegoat that provides them with an alibi for being mediocre themselves.

Tell your mom to fuck off and buy some crypto. They won't kick you out because ultimately if you fail then they themselves are failures, at least in the eyes of their peers . You hold all the cards user, you just don't know it.

That's nonsense my dad is a lawyer he would have brought that up when my mom was saying not to invest in crypto since he was there

They would never let me out because knowing me I'd never go to the library and they'd just say no.

How is crypto risky it's just doing whatever Veeky Forums says will moon

I'm in highschool i can't live on my own while doing highschool i'd have to work full time.

Nigga, just get a classmate to buy crypto for you and then pay him back. Then just lie to your parents about what you spent your allowance money on.

GOTTA BECOME MORE CREATIVE user, can't do all the thinking for you. Glad I dealt with that shit early. and I think:

Is right

Fucking retards waiting so late to get an autistic kid. If you invest in crypto, you'll be travelling at 20 and be better off than your parents

Everyone at school says im a freak they'd never listen to me for even a second for me to suggest that they all see me as the autistic guy who was forced to see a shrink.

>How is crypto risky it's just doing whatever Veeky Forums says will moon
>it's just doing whatever Veeky Forums says
>doing whatever Veeky Forums says
>pic related
>its doing whatever Veeky Forums says

That's why im here. I realize it's my only hope to not be a loser because i have such a low IQ and am stupid and am physically disabled I'd live off the government if i don't make money off crypto.

Listen, don't let the media fool you. Crypto is not hard. Crypto is not complicated. Even though you are literally retarded, you should still be able to figure it out. You have a phone right? Does it have internet? If so use that. Write down your code there as well as somewhere that isn't obvious like a slip of paper taped to the underside of your desk behind a table leg or something.

You need to buy ETH first. In europe we use coinbase. then you take your credit card (you do have one of those or a bank account right) and basically buy ETH. after that you send it to an exchange. There's usually a send/withdraw button that will give you a long string of numbers and letters. That's basically the name of your wallet on the site. Tell coinbase or whatever you use to deposit ETH to that. IT IS CRUCIAL that you send it to the correct wallet, since if you accidentally send ETH to a wallet meant for BTC on the exchange your money disappears. then buy a coin with your ETH that you like or believe in, and wait. Any questions?

That's true but some being shilled today (RPX and XRB and FUN and CATT or whatever it is) i think are going up

You gotta get more self esteem, but this is not a self help thread.

You're just gonna have to wrap this up and face it: Rebel or stay poor.

Likely your parents are just larping that you will get kicked out. If they really do kick you out you can always beg to get back in the house.

But on the bright side if you're homeless you can buy crypto...

Fun is a steady climber so I'd go in that

Thanks that was very helpful actually. I will try that but do you have to by ether first? Is there a way to directly by other coins?

I don't use fucking Coinbase and I'm in europe, we use Kraken or just a broker.. ffs.. get Coinbase is trash

>this is not a self help thread
I'm not here for sympathy im explaining why even though im a retard this is so important to me. I know i'll probably be made fun of i am just saying why i need crypto so badly

>homeless you can buy crypto
With what? Library computers? They block that stuff don't they?

you literally pay with a debit card to get it instantly or send a money transfer to get it later on but without a huge fee

It's actually probably illegal for them to kick OP out. Putting someone they know is this retarded out on the street is actual manslaughter.

I'm afraid not. You have to use one of the "gateway sites" to buy some of the bigger currencies like ETH, BTC, LTC or bitcoin cash. personally i use coinbase but it might not be avaiable in your country. I would advise against buying BTC because the transfer fees are out of this world. ETH has low fees and transfers faster if the network isn't unloaded with one of the new pet breeding games that keep popping up

I just used coinbase because of the 404 bad gateway upon cashing out meme that was related to kraken.

Stop calling yourself a retard man, have some self respect just because other people think you're retarded doesn't mean you have to view yourself in the same way.

George Bush has an IQ of 70-80 and he became president, look who's in office now.. trump.. you can accomplish great things if you atleast have some dignity and charisma.

I hope this is a LARP because I'm really sad now
we're ALL gonna make it r-right guys?

Thank you OP. Made my day

4chang is 18+ kiddo

bush has as an iq of 125 and trump is 150 something. They act stupid, i actually AM stupid and can barely pass classes at school and failed my drivers lisence

i would post proof but how can i prove this?

i know i am 18

Fags trying to help OP fuck back off to leddit or wherever you came from.
>OP is an admitted retarded
>Literally is so beta and risk adverse he's still letting his parents control his every decision
>His parents clearly have bad decision making skills already
>Can't figure out the first thing to do to acquire a safe crypto
>Wants to immediately then throw that into shitcoins on EtherDelta (of all places)
>Stated investment strategy is to chase PnD's posted by fellow retards and pajeets

Are you trying to bankrupt this tard and put another leach on the system? At least he's still leaching of his boomer parents right now.

I was telling myself the bubble popping soon was FUD, but I'm going to have to reevaluate it.

your parents are retards because mutual funds fees are extremely high if you were going to put your money into something back then they should of put it into an index fund. So don't listen to your mom. With the fees a mutual fund you lose 2/3 of the gains you would of gotten from your investing.

You going to let mommy tell you what to do with your money? Is she going to give you the millions you could make? No? Then fuck what she has to say do it anyway

She'll be the first to crawl back for money later

Who cares if you get kicked out you can buy the house and never have to be poor like her

>My mom won't let me
How old are you?

Maybe its time man up take that full time job and work through school. Puts hair on your chest and puts you a step ahead of your peers, especially if not a sloth. Then you can loose all your money putting it into what ever coin randos on an Ethiopian milk truck enthusiast forum tells you to

Write up an informative paper highlighting the returns on crypto vs. mutual funds. Explain to them that it's 2018 and they need to get with the fucking times. If they don't listen, just buy it anyway and keep it a secret. You seem really smart. Your parents won't be there forever. Time to be grown up and decide what's best for you.

It didn't really crash. Coin Market Cap just excluded Korean exchanges without giving a reason why.

You should do this And when you do learn about the Fairx exchange, Stellar lumens and IBM. When they hear IBM is getting involved, they will start to want to know more.

How much money are you planning on putting in? I doubt your parent give you any more than to buy a few chocolate bars a week.

I just sold a boomer some bitcoin earlier today, no larp.