What is the most alpha thing you ever said Veeky Forums?

What is the most alpha thing you ever said Veeky Forums?

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Fuck you mum I WILL go to kfc whether you like it or not!

Driving Uber I once screamed a drunk guy out of my car
Don't remember what was said but I basically had a more convincing "I'll fuck you up" wall of text come out of my mouth

Screamed "I. AM. TUROK." out of the passenger window of my friend's car in the Walmart parking lot.

>gril says hi
>just nods, unable to keep eye contact longer than a split second

h-how alpha is that guys?

hold it while i pee

Not really alpha nor beta, just makes you appear totally disinterested.

I'm guessing you're a beta who thinks being an alpha means withdrawing from contact in order to appear independent.

When I fought my bully. I had enough. I told him that he was overconfident and that he wasn't gonna bully me anymore. He said something like "yeah, right. I'm gonna bully you and all your friends". And I said "yeah? well, count this time as the last". I kicked him pretty hard, he fell over, punched him a few times. I didn't go barbarian mode on him. In a few seconds, he knew he lost. That was it. He never bullied me again.

"I'm sorry tyrone.please fuck my wife. thank you."

when im with my friends i come off as alpha a lot becuase i really just say what i think. I dont say much in general, but when someone asks me something i say what i mean.

Probably the wildest reaction i got was when a girl asked me if i would fuck her and i said no, because you're disgusting. everyone started hooting like monkeys it was hilarious

>unloading truck
>have one type of stack that's easy a fuck to unload
>have other type that's notoriously shitty, especially for newfags
>go take easy stack because fuck you new guy, you need to learn
"can you please take that stack"
"don't cheat yourself out of valuable fuckin experience."

fuckstick quit like 2 weeks later, about 4 days after a 30lb tub fell off one of those shitty stacks and smacked him in the head, he fell, and he started crying.

>was at the gym benching bodyweight for reps easy
>lanklet with a 6/10 skinny femwhore benching 65kg (less than his bw) points at my weights then his and is trying to impress his bitch
>she laughs
>get up fuming
>eyes bore laser holes into his sternum of anger
>don't test me
dude giggled nervously like a scared pussy and ran out, haven't seen him since

"No sauce.", at the Mcdonalds drive thru.

>in class
>ask teach if i can go to toilet
>teach: "i dont know can you?"
>*unzips dick*
>piss right there in class while maintaining eye contact with teach
>"looks like i can mate"

>I'm gonna bully you and your friends

Only decent response in the thread

How much do you weigh?

I am going out with you for purely egoistical reasons.

that rejecting thots feel
>go walking with buddy
>know he's a chubby chaser but whatever
>go to park about sundown
>thots there
>like 3 of em
>all 3 are too fat for me
>Kentucky.exe level fat
>time goes by
>sun down for a while
>the roundest thot starts doing some sort of mating dance
>like she's grinding on a pole in a children's park
>fat rolls rollin around
>stripper type dancing on a picnic table
>clothed, thank fuck
>react to this albino chimp balloon woman like I do for shitty normie memes
>cocking an eyebrow every once in a while
>looking at phone pretty often
>she starts realizing her adipose jiggling ritual isn't doing shit for me
>she actually starts crying
>"you don't know what you're missing."
>"I could've rocked your world."
>walk home knowing I made an orb woman sad

Don't really feel like greentexting..
In high school an annoying, actually autistic, kid had a crush on my gf at the time. He handwrote her a 4 page front and back single spaced poem in pencil and gave it to her when we were all signing yearbooks. He signed mine "I guess you got the girl in the end." I was pretty pissed cause he basically ruined my yearbook with his autism and it was never a competition. I was dating her going on 2 years at the time. Leading up to this he constantly talked shit on me to people but I had to just let it go because he was autistic.

So I got back at him, and in hindsight it was probably overkill. But after school I always went to my gfs house since it was down the street. Typically we fucked or she would at least blew me then we would nap. That day we decided to read this retards poem and laugh together. Then we started getting into it and we end up fucking. Towards the end, she's insanely wet as a 17 year old typically is, and I'm ready to bust.

I notice the poem on the bed and I grab it like a cum rag since we just pulled and prayed. She made a snarky comment about It being fuckedup or something and went to the bathroom to clean up herself.

So I had this kids number and I remember getting this elevated feeling like I HAD to do what I was thinking. Like I literally couldn't fight the urge. I snapped a pic of his cum stained poem and sent it to him with the caption:

"Fucked her on your faggot poem. This is as close as you'll ever get."

He didn't reply or speak to us at school or graduation afterwards. Oh well

>Be humble in your words, not your aspirations

thanks for the you. :)

i told my brother in law, who is at least 10 years older than me, to fuck off and he literally backed off.

sort of turtle like backing off

Get the fuck away from me you fuckin white nigger!

sigh, when i got cheated on and found out, I walked straight up to my Ex who was making breakfast and said "K Y S yourself lad" and threw her frying pan out the window.

idk what i was thinking i struggle with autism but i like to think it was quite alpha

i walked out her house and never came back

to this day, the image of fried eggs and bacon strewn across her front lawn is burned into memory

i called the trap i was fucking a filthy faggot

One time me and another dude had each other by the collar at the pub and he cocked his arm back as if to threaten me with a punch, I just smiled and said do it. I guess that was pretty cool in hindsight.

haha why is this so funny to me

>"K Y S yourself lad"

fucking kek

>threw her frying pan out the window


Me and my friend used to drive around my town screaming "FUCK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY" to any moderately hot chick we saw on the street.

Damn, user

That traps are gay

Told a girl I was too drunk to fuck but would pleasure her all night

Worked out well for me


If this is true then fucking nice one, son

Was talking to girl at a party. Drunk guy approaches and tells me to fuck off because i dont deserve a woman like that. I answered with "if you like the way your face looks right now, you should reconsider what you just said". He went apeshit

>second time ever having
>same girl
>were naked under the covers
>want my first blowjob but unsure how to ask for it
>say "so uh... you kinda wanna suck my sick a little bit?"

I hope one day I too can be this alpha

Where does this come from? I would've been like how bout you back the fuck up before I check your chin pussy

Smooth move tex

>senior year
>realised this average face, hot body chick in bio class had a crush on me
>start flirting with her for fun and alternating between being a massive dick and being somewhat nice depending on when the next assignment was due
>got her to do all my bio hw for me by the middle of the year (it was basically rote memorisation, fill in the blanks crap that really wasn't worth the time)
>she keeps inviting me to her place but I keep rejecting (her shit, arrogant personality really turned me off)
>after graduation after-party she walks up to me and asks me why I always reject her
>"I was only ever nice to you when I needed you to do my bio hw or when I wanted a nude purely for egotistical satisfaction"
>she glares at me and looks somewhat shocked and then gets into her friend's car and slams the door

LOL no they're not, just high test.

>mens with penors isn't gay

>idk what i was thinking i struggle with autism but i like to think it was quite alpha

>KYS lad

pic related, u

It surprises me that you're under the impression that they consider you alpha when they clearly laugh at your social ineptitude. You're the autist of the group.

>kys lad

>waiting in the queue for a coach at like 1am
>most people are at least a bit drunk
>hear some neckbeard say something about a fight, I think he's just joking with his friend
>he catches me eavesdropping so I joke "I'd have your back mate"
>he thanks me sincerely
>wait a few more minutes and get on the coach
>this chav and his girlfriend being rowdy before we set off
>guy organising the coaches shouts "this is a quiet coach, alright?!"
>coach goes silent
>chav replies "what the fuck are you gonna do about it?"
>beta organiser says nothing and gets off
>they laugh loudly
>I have a sensible chuckle about how beta that was
>chavs are sitting behind these neckbeards now
>neckbeards are talking shit about them
>chav overhears and it starts getting heated
>everyone on the coach is awkwardly saying and doing nothing
>goes on for what seemed like ages
>old man tries to interject
>"erm excuse me I don't appreciate your language and erm..."
>they ignore him
>eventually the chavs girlfriend punches one of the neckbeards in the back of the head
>it goes quiet and gets really tense
>row starts bubbling up again
>I stand up, walk over to the chav and his gf and say "right, switch places with me. I'm fucking sick of this"
>chav looks at me with disgust "nah mate you're alright"
>pretty sure he's afraid of looking beta in front of his gf
>I say "I'm not moving till you do" without blinking
>old man's wife pats me on the back
>she mirin dat posterior chain
>he eventually gives in and moves
>"hurr alright but only cos if I don't then I'm gonna kill one of those pricks"
>could be wrong but I think the gf gave me "fuck me" eyes. She wasnt good looking anyway
>neckbeards thank me quietly
>overhear chav say about me "he looks like someone I would usually hate... but actually he's alright"

I came out of that situation with every single person thinking I was great. Actually I was just covering my ass because I'd accidentally said I'd fight him

this is the greatest thing i have read on this forum yet, kek-kekarooskie fuck fuck fuck

fuck I remember my first gf and I would make each other ask for (as in formulate out loud) what we wanted. some weird feels but her blushing was worth it.

That's a case of Alpha right there
Calming the tribe, wetting some panties, earning respect and doing it all with just your presence and a few short words

>in school canteen
>see qt sitting alone
>approach and ask "is this seat taken"
>she blushes and says "its free"
>i grab the chair and take it to the table where my homies at

if a man can make himself that hot why are some of these females so fucking disgusting - Large 'Big lenny' Leonard

>random drunk cunt hitting on my gf at the pub
>he tries to get closer, i shove him away
>'what the fuck mate?'
>'youre about to be picking this schooner glass out of your face buddy'
>'i'm just mucking around m8'
>grab the back of his head, real quietly just between the two of us: "......i'm not going back to prison over you mate"
>missus goes and gets me a beer

>being this autistic
She didn't think you were flirting with her and she sure as hell didn't blush. This isn't anime faggot

hows it feel being ugly

>went out with girl on a date (already made it obvious i liked her)
>She said she just wanted someone to talk to

I literally told her: "I wanted something more from you, I've already got enough friends, sorry" and just picked up and left, didn't even wait for her response

She was just sitting there with a wtf look on her face

fucking kek

>not realising your post is like literally every other "she looked at me and therefore she was totally mirin and eye banging me bro--believe me" post

yes but did you get punched?

lol, autist detected

you were probably going to get laid user

do you even have friends? as in real friends. in the outside world?

>>She said she just wanted someone to talk to
>thinks this means she just wanted to be friends
lmao fuck me. You're an autist and you blew it, son.
>She was just sitting there with a wtf look on her face
Bewildered by your autism, I'm sure

I took a knife to a guys cheek and said "Unless you wanna whistle through your cheek, I suggest you leave now"

whew those were rough times.

>walked out on a one night stand because she didn't suck dick
>backhand slapped some thot because she hit me
Denying pussy pass is alpha to me
>got into a fight with some dirty hippie because he kept grabbing my gf's ass and when I beat him up I threw his pants in the canal
>suplexed a bouncer once
>started calling my dad by his first name when I found out I fucked more bitches than him

Bouncer here, regularly threaten to rape guys thats are trying to fight me in work, they threaten me with knives I threaten them with my penis

This Italian guy was talking shit to me.
I said
>"say one more thing and I'm gonna smack the shit into you"
>calls me a pussy bitch
>proceed to give him the most thunderous bitch slap of all time
>sounded like the cacophony of Amy Schumer's thundering thighs during a jog summed up in one second
I've a habit now of slapping people before I get into fights.

>being a bouncer
ultimate cuck job, only thing lower is mall security

would sooner be the garbage man
>this thread is now garbo respect thread

>am actually 5'8"
>tell people I'm 5'7"
>don't drive an over-sized truck

>tfw I used to be you and used to think I was alpha too until I realised that everyone thought I was "weird" and that I kind of existed outside of society but in a bad way and the only reason they kept me around was to see what outrageous thing I'd blurt out next

Saw a guy threaten a little kid who was trying to beat up this guys little brother by saying he's rape him. Kid almost pissed his pants

>mfw iktf too well

stop it

Didn't really say anything but
>ex gf calls me a week after she cheated on me
>cmon babe I was drunk just come over please I miss you I know you still need me hun all you do is lift your fuckin weights
>nah what I need is to hang up and get back to my pullups
>lol you aren't gonna hang-

still remember that phone call made me extend my rest period by like 30secs
>still glad I left that goblin cunt

>orb woman

>tfw the most manly thing you did was in the 8th grade
I miss being bullied.
(no i'm not pls don't bully me)

Friend borrowed my headphones and they came back broken and he refused to say anything to me.

Invited him to listen to a song I pretended to play through the headphones and put them over his head

He said he couldn't hear it, or anything and I barked EXACTLY at him, pay up you cunt.

Felt pretty alpha

Sure thing bud

Last one made me go "hehehe" out loud.

No specific example, but
>when you're arguing and you say a sentence really rapidly without stuttering or messing up any of the words, while remaining fully audible
Feels SO good