Time to dust off the resume since I need to start working again

Why the fuck do I not get any callbacks?

lmao

that is the worst resume I have ever seen

bait

user, reading your resume made me really happy

laughed IRL

that's literally worse than my resume and mine got rejected by a fucking supermarket

>Can't even spell one of your previous employer's names right
smdh

Where are the subjects to those verbs?

im sure this is satire

>excellent communicator
You will be an excellent burger flipper

>GPA is low but excellent communicator

Is it seriously that bad. I got into crypto after I literally got zero callbacks in an entire year after graduating...

Time to face reality...
How's my resume?

Nigga how are family and friends a hobby?
Gaming as an hobby sounds like you are childish
>Computers
wtf are you kiddin me
>excellent communicator
dude are you autistic?

Cuck

have you considered doing trades?

>I will take no for an answer

>obedient and submissive worker

kek

thanks for this one user

>copy this resume
>get job within 5 seconds

too obvious
much more subtle. I was about to give you legit feedback before I saw the "introduction"

hold up. this is a joke right?

>Japanese
Remove that, it's not fucking needed and it will only make you look like a weeb

>tfw 28 and no studies or jobs other than high-school and driving license
Your b8 makes me laugh

>When you have an incredibly strong resume but it still gets trashed

The shocking thing is that this resume is fucking stacked for the tech field, if only that autism didn't get in the way.

>cashier at Wendy's
>Jan 2015 - Jan 2015
lel

>debate club member
>gaming
kek

The wendys part made me laught really hard lol

Some user claimed to know the guy or work with him. Said they were asked to make a gay ("original" or something) resume like that and he got the job. I don't know if it's bullshit, but he committed to his story and it sounds plausible.

Frankly, no one with qualifications and experience that great can be so autistic as to present that seriously.

...

>tfw 22yo and 3 years of credible sales experience
>getting through business studies like a knife trough hot butter

What event did you do user? Or are you just some filthy casual pretending to be a debater?

>90 wpm

Wanna play typerace

>tfw gpa is even lower than OP's
you can get away with just not putting it as long as you graduate right

am i doing this right

honestly, this would probably work
furries tend to be higher ups on the job market, and more nepotic than jews when given the rare opportunity
send this to your one local office in buttfuck nevada and it gets canned, but send this to 100 different tech companies and i'd be dumbfounded if you didn't get at least three job offers

Lol do you work in the field? Plenty of people way worse off here.

>all the computers

Get out

If people are serious in needing updated resumes then actually include cryptocurrency in your resumes but word it differently.

>Freelance/Independent financial analyst
>Analyzed financial trends in developing markets


Some of the people on Biz could easily get a job at Goldman Sachs or HSBC if they were not too autistic.

perfect

>[email protected]
perfect

My sides are on a moon mission

are you looking for a job?
i don't own a business

>Some of the people on Biz could easily get a job at Goldman Sachs or HSBC if they were not too autistic.

Hahhahahahaahhahahhahah