Well I'm fucked. Unemployed for almost 2 years now, been living off my gf. Lost all my posessions, selling them to help her out somehow. I had lots of stuff, now my only possesion besides my clothes and a shitty lenovo smartphone is a rusty thinkpad t430 that I'm using to type this. The damn thing is about to break (a hinge is ruined) and I have 50 bucks left in a little metal box. That's literally all I have left in this world.
So I decided to waste it on crypto. Thing is I have ZERO knowledge of this whole thing. I don't know how to open a wallet, how to buy, how to trade, how to sell... nothing. So my question is: how? link me the most retard-proof way to get started on this thing. What should I read. What should I do.
Lets start: post pick of your gf first then we can talk
Bentley Russell
Why don't you try getting a job?
Ryder Sanchez
Post dick or gtfo
Chase Perry
LINK.
Chase Diaz
shoe on head or gtfo
Angel Cook
Jesus christ go wagecuck for a while you leech.
Cameron Thomas
Invest in KNPD
You're welcome
Michael Price
You are absolutely fucked if all you have is a $50 buyin. You're going to be looking at vastly better returns just giving handjobs behind the gas station. Or pimping out your girlfriend once or twice a week on Craigslist.
Anthony Miller
for long term safety, ETH/VEN are some of my top picks keep in mind there's not such thing as safety in this market. a loss of 20% overnight is considered a fairly small dip treat that money like its already gone and you'll be better at holding through dark times
if you want to be riskier, look at smaller cap coins and shitcoins to make your money. Much higher chance of losing money doing this though. So if you can, buy some ETH from fiat through a gateway like Gemini or Coinbase. If you want to just hold, make a MyEtherWallet and keep it there. Don't lose your keys, don't share them with anyone. If you want to get into anything more obscure, open an account on binance and send your ETH there. You can then trade it for other coins. I strongly recommend VEN/WTC/OMG, and AMB as a riskier sleeper pick for long term gains.
Ryan Garcia
damn like maybe if pic related was your gf this would be worth it but i think you should just kys and die like a broke cuck cuz uve honestly hit rock bottom sorry =(
Juan Butler
girlfriends dont store well in my ether wallet...anyone else have this issue?
Thomas Fisher
Buy Litecoin on coinbase with your credit card. Create an account on Binance and transfer your Litecoin there, then buy some shit coin that might give you a decent return.
Elijah Davis
Are you actually autistic? Betting your bit of money on something you do not understand is a surefire way to lose everything.
Andrew Ward
Buy 100k of TRX
Gabriel Edwards
Go flip some burgers you retarded lazy piece of shit
David Sanders
>long-term safety >$50
Jaxson Morgan
how desperate is she that she hasn't dumped you yet?
Oliver Lopez
go away poorfag, only real niggas are welcome here
Sebastian Thompson
hey user i can relate with being unemployed for almost 2 years with sugarmama gf. i went yolo into crypto at the beginning of the year (except i had like 100x more to start with). so to start first join coinbase (takes a week or two to verify everything). join binance (opens up for an hour or two everyday with referral code). buy eth on coinbase and send to binance. now do your own research and figure out which coins shilled here are not scams and buy them on binance. in the meantime get a fucking job already so you can put more than $50 in.
Jeremiah Young
>sign up for coinbase.com, buy ethereum >sign up for kucoin.com >get deposit address on kucoin for eth: kucoin.com/#/user/account/coin-in >click checkbox look for ETH >get eth address from there, it starts with 0x >copy, go back to coinbase, look for area of site to transfer money >put in 0x address and send your eth >wait >buy one or two of these: >kucoin.com/#/trade.pro/OCN-ETH >kucoin.com/#/trade.pro/HST-ETH >kucoin.com/#/trade.pro/TNC-ETH
good luck
Xavier Ross
This. OR GET A FUCKING JOB YOU USELESS FAGGOT. Kill yourself.
Samuel Williams
Lmao $50 i literally paid tha in fees on my last trade
Asher Lopez
well I got my coinbase account, now I'm gonna do some serious reading and take it from there. Thanks guys.
To everyone telling me to "get a job": I'm a 31 year old software engineer, too old for entry jobs and too inexperienced / too qualified for everything else. All this while being in a 3rd world shithole (Chile) so yeah, I've been trying for almost 2 years but it just doesn't happen, jews don't want me.
Lucas Brown
why did you decide not to work for 2 years? and why are you selling your shit to "help her" ? the whole thing seems fucking retarded
man up dude, take ownership of your own life. You aren't going to get rich with $50 in crypto in 2018. You'll flounder through this, probably lose your $50, and be worse off than when you started. Just go get a job tomorrow, go apply at McDonalds or the local gas stations/pizza places, take anything even for minimum wage. You'll be better off than trying to fuck around in crypto.
Brody Hernandez
Feel sorry for you Bud...Em, truth be told, it's difficult to make it with 50bucks. If you can ho back to 2010 and buy bitcoin for $1, I guess maybe. To do the math for you, you would have to invest in a token that is revolutionary and yet very underpriced at ICO price. For example if you bought ETH at ICO price with 50bucks you'd have about 150 ETH now or 150 grand. But revolutionary is now becoming difficult in Crypto, because there are so many people doing do many cool things right now, so its hard to stand out. However, here's another option if you looked for coins that are worth less than 100k Marketcap right now, in crypto at some point every coin will be worth atleast 3Million either at it's prime or at it's crossroads. so if you $50 now and sell whem it's at it's prime, you might walk away with $20k. Where to find these kinds of coins? EtherDelta. Throw some tens arround some cheap projects that you believe others will start buying at some point in the future. Thats we make it in crypto. Get in first!.
Hudson Wood
What about putting your software engineering skills to use online? I think you need tens of thousands of dollars to invest in the market now if you're looking to secure your financial future.
Jason Reyes
$500 on trading fees TODAY KEK. OP is below wage cucks and pajeets. You are a lazy brainlet that hit rock bottom. You should really kys. I'll give you $300 if you let me poop on your gf's chest. Serious offer.
Brandon Lee
Classic blaming the jews for sucking at life.
Jose Robinson
convince your gf (or family or any other sucker) to invest in crypto and manage it for her. tell her you'll double it but actually 3x it and keep 1/3.
Tyler Evans
If you're a software engineer who's somewhat good at designing websites. apps? I'll hire you and I'll pay you to work from home, I would need to trust you first...We'll have to get past trust issues, So how do you suggest we proceed
Dylan Sanders
fuck you kucoin is the worst meme
Dominic Nelson
>tfw you will never see those eyes look up at you as she gentle wraps her lips and tongue around the end of your cock while giggling before you prematurely blow your load into her throat
James Morgan
Jobs are for losers. Handjobs behind the gas station are for faggots. Faggots that love money. Massive gains for almost no effort, and OP gets to to do something he loves every day.
Cooper Evans
one silver lining is at least you know your gf isn't a golddigger.
Grayson Jenkins
I've made websites. Some examples: pvsecurity.cl placabit.net (I own this one) infouno.cl (I made this one with my gf)
It's literally impossible to be poor due to external circumstances if you can speak english, have access to an internet connection and have programming skills.
Do little Solidity projects online, market yourself as a blockchain programmer, enjoy companies rushing to buy you a plane ticket to the US and a 6 figure salary.
Jordan Howard
He's probably retarded "web"-programmer Look mom I made a website I'm a proooogrammeeeeeeer now
Adam Murphy
>placabit.net That shit has the worst format I've seen in ages man.
Henry Martinez
Post pic of your girlfriend pussy with date and I'll send you 0.01ETH.
Jack Fisher
I can handle java and php with decency. I can setup and maintain web servers (linux) and of course some CSS and frontend stuff. That's about it.
the site is pretty much abandoned, I started it with some people but now I'm all alone. Hostinger will want more money in march to keep it going and to be honest I don't have the money nor the energy for it. It will prolly die then.
Michael Williams
Biuy high sell low
Robert Bell
Bud, you know pretty much everyone else can make a wordpress website right?
Can you code a website from the Scratch using stuff like boothstrap?
Don't post links...its a yes or no thing
Chase Lopez
no. thanks for trying to help tho.
Robert Anderson
Move your money to cryptopia and buy what I tell you in 12 hrs under this tripcode
Alexander Cook
Ok good. i'll send you an email later on and test your php/java skills. To be quite frank those websites are not going to impress anyone. If you can do visually attractive stuff to front end of websites, That'll be pretty amazing for start.
50$ invesment post 2016 will get you nowhere, you slept through the best time to invest, deal with it. Get a job, however shitty it would be. If US citizen try amazon mturk program. Once you accumulate around 1-3K$ of SPARE money start investing. Lurk the threads, beware of shills and good luck
I'm investing in ARK, VEN, and XLM at the moment.
Leo Robinson
just follow the guide cryptoaltcointradingblogspotcouk (put a . before and after blogspot and after co)
Zachary Nelson
I doubt he's gonna be patient enough for the registration process for bigger exchanges nor will he know what he is doing with etherdelta
i gave sound advice, now go fuck yourself nigger
Asher Nelson
Still luckier than the autistic crypto-millionaires committing suicide left and right
