What do you do when you're at a restaurant and the table next to yours has a baby who won't stop screeching?

What do you do when you're at a restaurant and the table next to yours has a baby who won't stop screeching?

I continue my conversation with my guests and act like the adult I am.

I am thankful I'm not an autist who gets upset at other peoples evidence of intense sexual relations

It obviously is going to depend on the situation.

Last time I was in that situation (in a place where it wasn't appropriate) I asked to have the food boxed up, tipped the served, and explained why we were leaving.

I'm honestly too old to put up with that kind of shit.

I casually flick lit matches at it.

Distract the baby with chloroform ....... obviously

Walk up to it and slap its ass, then wait to see how the parents react.

I usually crop dust anyone who annoys me.

PUSH IT BACK UP THE CUNT THAT SPAWNED IT

It doesn't annoy you? Their parents should get the baby under control. When I was growing up that kind of behavior wouldn't fly. Parents are so lazy these days.

>hahahafuck.jpg
Did this today so satisfying
Oh fat family of five walking side by side I have to stop and make way for in the supermarket, you just walk through everything huh?
I was drinking pretty heavy last night, enjoy that dank cloud buddy it's gonna linger for some time

Of course it would annoy me. But if you are willing to get so bent out of shape over something you can't control, that's more telling about you as a person than any baby crying is.

I'm not bent out of shape, I didn't do anything about it besides make this thread.

If you go to a family restaurant you deserve everything you don't pay for.
Different story if it were silver service, but I do t want to sound rude here but none of us are convinced you frequent silver service restaurants.
So you're here making a thread about a single mothers baby crying at McDonald's.
This is a ordinary thread OP, real fucking ordinary

>i'm perfectly normal, i just passively aggressively start threads on an anonymous image board about the little things that bother me and I can't bring myself to do anything about

If they're three years old or more, I take a receipt out of my wallet, make a paper crane, and then place it in the child's hand, warning them that "they'll scare the birdie".

If they're eight or older, I make a set of origami dinosaurs and leave them on the table next to them without comment.

I always get a thank-you from the parents and at least thirty minutes of blissful silence.

I don't know about actual babies, though. Oh well.

I would be pissed off but I wouldn't lash out at a kid like some retard
I wouldn't want some stranger shushing my child
If you have a problem then politely ask the parents to keep their child quiet

I'm not normal, but I'm not bent out of shape either. How is making a thread passive aggressive? It has no impact on the baby in question or its parents.

I start screeching in harmony. Inevitably a 3rd, 4th and 5th person joins in as everyone whips out their phones in awe. Stir up a media frenzy which leads to a multi-million dollar recording studio contract. Works every time.

Little babbeh :3

Keep your legs shut.

It's a baby. Babies do stupid inexplicable shit because they're fucking babies. I'd idly wonder why the parents would be dumb enough to drag an infant out in public when it isn't ready for it, but why the fuck would I get mad at a baby?

Children will act up in restaurants it is normal with my daughter I make silence into a game and play 10 minutes 1 sticker

I really need to ask my mom what they did to my brother and I, because we ate out half the week growing up and as far back as I can remember it always just seemed natural to not act up in a restaurant and have table manners.

Apparently I was a screaming toddler who threw spaghetti-o's everywhere; I just have no memory of how things changed.

Bribery is not the answer

You were raised by an at-least middle class WHITE family.

That's what they did.

I once dropped my friend's baby. But in my defense, I had never been a pall bearer before.

i call them all niggers and leave

That's actually spot on, but how does it explain the behavior of a small child? Being upper middle class doesn't mean growing up with primp and proper adults around you.

Gee, how did I ever make such an accurate guess?

Dude, our families were upper-middle because they were raised not to put up with shit and they passed that on to you.

I can only remember one time I was being a little dick at a restaurant (and it was a big family dinner, like grandma grandpa aunt uncle cousins) and my dad told me to come with him outside.

As soon as we got out the door he wholloped my ass so hard. Needless to say I behaved the rest of the dinner. But, he was also tactful enough to take me outside to do it not in front of everyone. You see nigger mom's whack their kids all the time.

>he wholloped my ass so hard

Nothing like that ever happened with me, though. As far back as I can remember it just always seemed natural to act a certain way in a restaurant.

unexpected kek

Oh no, it was the natural and right thing to do with my family as well. I emphasized in my story, it was the ONLY time I ever acted out in public.

The only other time I know of, I was out with my Grandma and Grandpa, and I was in my highchair (so you know how young) and I was apparently laughing my ass off at something.

This guy finished his meal with his wife, and as they left, he went to our table and told my Grandpa that he should have made me "behave and be quiet." All I ever was told was he followed that guy outside.

Are you some kind of elf that learned chinese papercrafts

>Oragami
>"chinese papercrafts"

You are so cultured user.

The problem is that millenials are having kids now, and most of them have no idea of what it takes to be a responsible parent, so they let their children run amok in public.

Haha, no, it's really easy! I just like being able to do things during lectures, and having my hands and a bit of my mind busy makes me more tolerant of stupid questions my classmates ask.

There are a lot of youtube tutorials that will show you how to make origami without you having to depend on written instructions. Those diagrams can be kind of complicated for people just beginning the hobby.

I suggest starting with cranes, because the early steps are useful for making a lot of things that are not cranes.

And don't be rude. I think that I get away with this because the adults are too confused by what's happening to object to it.

I've learned to only give out dinosaurs in multiples because the parents tend to grab anything complicated. Having someone steal your new toy doesn't actually help with the whole crying thing, so the whole "lol magic stranger" part has a downside.

This is cool but also super gay

Female, so it's somewhat less creepy.

I am essentially approaching strangers to hand their child a wad of creatively folded trash, though, so it sill is kinda creepy.

>being this passive aggressive

>child giggles at crane
>proceeds to cram it in mouth
>chokes
>receive lawsuit

It's never happened yet...

your day will come Mr. Schwartz

I ask to be moved, or to get my order to go. If it starts screaming and I haven't ordered yet, the temptation is just to walk out.

I don't go to 'family' restaurants for just that reason. Anywhere that welcomes families does not welcome me.

Luckily, there's a backlash against screaming kids lately, and pubs are kicking people out for it and banning kids.

man, you just know when parents let their shitty babies scream at restaurants that they're going to end up being loudmouth brats

teach your kids young to be considerate and quiet in other people's company.

I wish it was socially acceptable to discipline other people's babies.

I just scream at the baby until the family leaves or I get told to leave/the police called on me

I have a story of what i did that's semi related

>be watching BATMAN vs SUPERMAN by myself in theater opening night
>have been looking forward to this movie for a long while since I loved the previous superman
>single mother with halfbreed negroid spawn sitting next to me
>immediatedisgust.png
>i don't usually mind if mother calms her child or whatever during movie but this lady was having a full on conversation with her child
>this goes on for FORTY FIVE FUCKING MINUTES
>i look around to see if anyone else if noticing this conversation and realize I am the only one since im right next to them
>fuck this ive had enough i think
>i fucking snap and lean in to them really closely and say to the mother in a stern and strict angry voice "can you and your mongrel shut the fuck up for a second I can enjoy this god damn movie?"
>she stares at me with her mouth wide open and her child starts to cry
>she grabs her childs hand and walks out the theater as the kid is crying and I smile and eat popcorn and watch the movie
>movie ends and she's outside of the theater with a police officer and the theater manager
>I see them before they see me, and walk back into the theater and go lay under the handicap seat section as people are leaving
>it's dark still and no one can see me so I stay under seat for a while
>lights in theater turn on and I realize that I'm not hidden at all and realize that the police officer is walking up the stairs towards me
>he shines a flashlight on me and pulls his gun out and says "FREEZE GET THE FUCK UP!"
>i tell him that they have the wrong guy and I'm the seat repair man
>"look" I say "as I hand him a real estate card of a Korean guy
>he looks at me,, looks at the card, assumes I have a mental disorder, and says "get the fuck out of here"

close one

You are going to restaurant. Restaurants are usually fairly public places where there are other people.

Fucking deal or don't go out to dine at all.

not bad. not a classic but funny ok

***** post

Screech louder than the child to assert dominance

Take out your licensed concealed carry firearm and stand your ground.

I stage an "accidental" trip and fall but i really launch my body into the high chair so it knocks over and the baby's head hits the ground hard. The goal is to kill the baby.

If it's not in a high chair I just grab it and whip it into the wall

It's very commonplace in the case of adults that if you misbehave and cause enough noise at your table to disturb other diners, you'll be asked to leave. If you cannot control your children's noise levels, you should also be asked to leave. Just because you've popped out some little shit and you don't know how to tame it doesn't mean other paying customers should have their meal disturbed.

Make faces at it and giggle.

I find it hilarious when babies cry. They're like tiny inebriated people. That baby might be crying because the air conditioner is hitting them, or because one of their socks is too tight. IDK, I just laugh, because it's never really a problem, it's just their problem. Adults screech when people die or something awful happens, babies scream because they have to poop. It's just funny.

Babies are also feedback loops, and they just get more frustrated at others being frustrated. Funny faces and giggles confuse the baby, and will make it stop or get quieter if the initial reason for crying is small enough.

But most babies are fussy and bored, and parents should bring some small objects for the baby to play with. I remember the bored childhood struggle.

this is a good strategy. I too sometimes laugh when other people's babies cry in a public place. mostly it's because I'm sterile though.

to answer OP's question, I guess if I was already eating, I'd just eat fast, or ask for a box if I really couldn't stand it. if I hadn't started eating, I'd ask to be moved. I have done this once or twice.

this sounds too reasonable. what are you doing here? this place is for terrible people only.

This made me laugh way more than it should have.
Whipping a baby at a restaurant wall like a ripe melon in front of its parents should not be this funny

>oh, little rainbow pepsi star is so energetic. what do you mean he can't run around? I paid for the meal!
>3 years old and already knows what his body needs- candy and pizza.
>I don't nazi my child. stunts their natural creativity if I tell them to be quiet in public places.

>I find it hilarious when babies cry.
Literally a broken human being. Kill yourself.

Really if a baby is crying and won't stop, it's the parents responsibility to take it outside until it calms down. If the parents are oblivious to this, politely suggest it too them. If them won't take action, talk to a waitress about it. If the person running the place is anygood at all, they'll tell the parent to get their child under control or leave.

I also find it funny. Like the other user said, babies aren't crying for a good reason, they're crying over nothing at all. And that's funny. But when a child is crying for a legit reason (in pain), it is immediately clear because that's a different, more intense cry than the 'I dropped my one chip on the floor cause I'm a spaz and now i'm gonna wail about it despite having half a dozen others in front of my dumb infant face' type cry.

Carefully adjust myself to subtly reveal my CCW and hope the parents freak out and leave the restaurant. Usually have to put up with a burst of the parents screeching, but they'll leave after a few minutes.

>brandishing a holstered firearm at a crying baby

What are you going to do? Shoot the baby? Shoot the parents? You're not going to do anything and letting someone get a glimpse of a holstered weapon won't make them feel threatened enough to leave. You're not the badass you think you are

Who said anything about threatening? Soccer moms go ballistic at the sight of guns and will freak the fuck out about someone carrying that isn't the boot on their neck.

I'll take "shit that's never happened" for $2,000, Alex.

Yeah this would never work unless you look and carry yourself like a deranged psycho

not that user but I guess my question is why soccer moms are going to the kind of restaurant where you'd need CCW. you'd think they'd only bring their crotchgoblins to nice places.

Wouldn't the fact that you go to nice places be the reason you'd carry?

You sound like a woman, but you don't have a period.

As a busy Mom who can occasionally steal away for a quiet dinner with hubby, I have a little trick or "hack" I would like to share.

If we're in a restaurant and a baby starts to fuss (that's all the little ones are doing isn't it), I will look at hubby and roll my eyes a bit and say "remember when ours were that young?"

I remember reading somewhere.

depends, generally if im at some shitty place like red robins, applebees or tgi fridays for whatever fucking reason I deserve to put up with that shit for going to those places in the first place

if Im at a nice restaurant and some fuckers bring a small child when the place clearly makes it known that its not ok but they allow it and the fucker starts screaming usually everyone glares the table down and they get the hint

otherwise if they dont wise up I generally leave early and do dessert or get my food elsewhere if Im mid courses and tell the manager(this is in the case that the restaurant has a no child policy but they let it slide)

I usually loudly complain to the waiter about the unruly child and lazy parents asking what can be done. All it does is piss the parents off but they ruined my tight, I'm just sharing the love.

You're at a family restaurant. If you don't want crying babies, pay for it! Go upscale.

If you dont have money, learn to love the innocent cry of a baby. Much better than the guttural whine of a self-centered captain obvious.

Whos taking a baby to a restaurant?

If the place has high chairs it isn't a restaurant

This

>hur dur if you pay good money at a family restaurant you deserve having to tolerate shit parents who don't know how to discipline their children
Bunch of cucks, the lot of you

This

I don't care if it's fucking mcdonald's, if I'm out in public I don't want to have to deal with any misbehaving children or their shitty parents. Assholes should just stay home.

And there it is.

When the manchild is called out on its immature habits, it shrieks out its magic word.

>itt ppl who have never had a family

when toddlers or babies act up there is very little you can do...............the parents are probably tired of it too, but have to let it pass

love the way autists think kids have an off switch and parents who dont press it are bad

there's this new fade called babysitters, have you heard of it? I have friends with kids, they leave those things at home when they're at a grownup place. or more often than not they just stay home.

if I had a phone without an off switch do you think I'd take it to the movies, or a concert? well of course you would, because you think the world revolves around you. but rest assured your opinions are not shared by decent people.

>wat is babysitter
Having a baby is not an excuse to subject other people to its noise polution or dirty nappies. If it starts crying you take it outside. It's your problem. Deal with it.

>family meal out
>baby sitters.....
>then brings up some false equivalence about phones, concerts and movies
>ppl who take their kids to restaurants (and then said kids act up) are not decent ppl

confirmed teen.........i hope

>confirmed teen
>implying it's normal to be burdened by a screaming toddler in your teens
Confirmed for trailer trash.

No worries, I wasn't talking about being bothered by people's babies at the local Perkins. If I went to a place like that I'd be prepared for the worst.

wew lad, how fucking zen of you.

>getting this triggered over cuck
What are you some sort of inconsiderate parent or something?

>dad drags me down to shitty worker class restaurant
>you dont get it user, this used to be this old train station yadda yadda
>he has a point that the food is pretty good and comes in big servings tho
>"enjoying" my meal in crowded restaurant while trying not to think about all the hillbillys around me talking lowdly to their ugly wifes whit their mouths filled with food.
>get up to go to the bathroom
>little hick kid decides it would be funny to pant me
>bare ass exposed to the whole restaurant
>he laughs his ass off an sits next to ma, pa and his 7 half brothes
>sit in table and demand we leave thhis second without paying
>dad tells me to shut up and finish my dinner
i have never been so embarrassed in my whole life. Fuck you dad, i know you grew up in a small town but im never sharing a meal with you at a restaurant with no service charge again

>busy Mom
>hubby
>hack in quotes

I'm glad I don't know you

Any decent parent won't bring their kids out in the first place until they are capable of handling there shit. Maybe like some garbage fast food place or a dennys, but anything past that no way.

I work in a theatre and people bring their fucking babies in all the time. I can't even be mad at the babies. No shit they would cry when we have DOLBY DIGITAL BLASTING FROM ALL WALLS. Like be a fucking decent human being and get a babysitter?

B-BUT I CANT AFFORD A BABYSITTER. THE GOVERNMENT DONT COVER DAT IN MY DINDU STAMPS!!!! Listen here you waste of human tartar sauce, chances are your friends are also garbage human beings who had bastard spawns. You switch days. So on friday when you guys want to go star on maury, they watch your kids and on saturday vice versa. It's really not that hard.

You shouldn't have family meals if you haven't actually raised a proper family. I bet you're the kind of person who thinks it's OK to walk your dog and let it shit in other people's yards. Fuck you, inconsiderate ass.

If I'm at a family restaurant I'll just deal with it, or ask to be moved to another table if it's really shrieking and the parents aren't trying to stop it.

If I made reservations and am paying out the ass for a nice restaurant though, you better believe I'll ask the parents to do something about it, and tell the manager that they're ruining my experience. If this makes me look like a bitch I don't care. You shouldn't bring a screaming child to an expensive formal restaurant.
The closest I've come to fighting a stranger was some dude at a nice restaurant. I (politely) asked him if there was anything they could do to control the screaming child (which was well past the point of "uncontrollable baby"), and he got in my face and started telling me about how "I have no right to say anything about his gaht dam chile". if he had done the shoulder shove it would have gotten violent, but his wife made him sit down before it got to that point.

I just don't know why people can't get a babysitter for a couple of hours. Is it that hard to realize that other people mind endless shrieking more than you do?

i was taking a certification class and one of the women there (she must have been at least 30) told the tale about how she took a flight once and her baby daughter shat herself and she just let her cry in her shit filled diaper for the entire fligh.
Of course we where all horrifyed and a much younger woman told her thats an awful thing to tho to hwich she replied oh sweetheart you will change your mind when you have your first kid.
Every time i see a mother with a baby i remember her

>I just don't know why people can't get a babysitter for a couple of hours. Is it that hard to realize that other people mind endless shrieking more than you do?

Because
1. "It takes a village", and
2. Something something the child will not learn to behave in an adult world unless everyone around it is constantly subjected to its shrieking and cloud of shit and piss smells

This kind of attitude seems exclusive to whites, btw. I guarantee you nobody on this board has ever had this experience with an asian couple and a screaming asian baby, despite 98% of all michelin-starred instagram photos coming from asians. The reason for this is respect.

Its pretty much exclusively blacks. White people tend to actually raise their kids. Do you live in a trailer park? I can't imagine a white family ever doing this so you're the anomaly here.

I can tell you've never been to a michelin-starred joint, the customers are mostly asian and white. Blacks are almost unheard of.

>child giggles at crane
>proceeds to cram it in mouth

hahaha why are babies so retarded

but on the other hand
>we introduce babies into a world where seemingly innocuous objects can kill us instantly and invisibly.

that picture is so cute.

Im going to hug by baby and kiss her on her cheeks. brb

I thought we were talking about crying children, not tire memes.

Thats fucking racist

Yeah, crying babies in nice restaurants. Not the east st. louis golden corral and your racial strife.

What poor people do in poor people restaurants is kind of irrelevant, I mean who gives a shit if the baby's diaper smells, considering the food itself already smells, looks, and tastes like excrement?