I'm moving in with some vegans. What are some Hannibal-teir meals I can make that are impressive yet frightening?

I'm moving in with some vegans. What are some Hannibal-teir meals I can make that are impressive yet frightening?

You think you're smart by preparing Hannibal-esqe meals but in reality you'll just be reinforcing their perceived stereotypes of meat eaters. At best they'll be civil about it, at worst they'll plot behind your back to get the "blood mouth" of of their house.

Oysters. They'll have no argument for not eating them. [spoiler]You might even be able to convince them to eat it[/spoiler]

Bugs, they are a very sustainable form of protein.

Lots of oats. Don't forget to do squats.

d-do you eat the skull?

anything involving a boiled mammal's head

Just a heads up, be prepared for your roommates to fart a lot.

cow tongue

its pretty good actually

Having room mates is not fun. Make good with those idiots. You don't wanna fued with your room mates. It sucks

they're vegans, they couldn't plot to take down the local Subway effectively.

One time when i was a kid my friend and i were eating roasted chicken and my friend went up in this vegetarian kid's face and rubbed a chicken leg all over his face

Ortolans my friend
Make sure you remember to cover your head with the your napkin so that God can't see you eat them.

zampone?

>I'm moving in with some vegans
They will eventually fuck you up.

They will complain and moan (about the smell of 'cooking flesh' or 'Murdered Animals') until you comply with their whims and fad diet . . . . I have seen this happen to other friends of mine.

>moving in with

>having roommates

Top lel

>living with your parents

DESU...seen it too.
M8 moved into an apartment full of vegans/veggies and they wouldn't let him use any of the house cooking equipment because they didn't want them contaminated.

Of course. Not eating it would be an insult to the chef who would proceed to kick you out of his restaurant and ban you for life.

Sounds great. Don't have to worry about roomies eating your food

Starting a feud with your roommates over something this small is going to cause you a lot of grief for almost no gain.

Head cheese.

I am from Kazakhstan, our national dish is probably boiled sheep head. You can add onions on it to make it fancy.

I think to impress your friends you should buy organ meats and belly fat and make your own sausage then leave then hanging in the kitchen for 1 months to age. This will really impress them. I think when they smell the aroma they will stop fasting.

Good luck comrade.

Riblets
Smoke them for a few hours, then put them in a Dutch oven or crock pot, cover with BBQ sauce and slow cook for several more hours.

Pick up a strip then work your way down, bite off a chunk, eat the meat, spit out the bone, take another bite.

It's like eating watermelon and spitting out the seeds, but with a pig.

Edgy/10

What would be the purpose of doing this?

If they are in fact vegan, not just eating a plant based diet then you will not impress them at all, in fact they would be more likely repulsed.

Are you trying to come off as insensitive and careless? Sociopathic tendencies do not bode well typically, especially with people that you have to live with.

>It's just a prank bro

The only viable option would be to sever one of your legs. Serve that and you would have better luck at impressing your housemates. At least then your mental status would be out in the open and not hiding behind some psuedo intellectual cooking stunt like you are cultured and clever.

>Vegans so mad!

I'm genuinely curious what positive thing you think you have to gain from this. Because I don't see any angle.

>I'm genuinely curious what positive thing you think you have to gain from thi

I'm not OP, but isn't this obvious? Fucking with vegans is fun and hilarious.

What makes it fun?

Fucking with people on a moral and ethical level do not fall under that category. At least not with people that you have to socialize and live with.

This is toddler shit.

>all vegans do is shove their stupid diet down your throat!
>LOL GRILL A PIGS HEAD IN FRONT OF THESE HERBIVORES!!!
The only times I've ever talked about my dietary choices were after someone else shit on me for them. Carnists are like high school atheists.

Cheer up, man. These people are strangers to you. It's possible the thread is in jest. OP isn't concerned with your advice concerning the morality of the situation.

You're not invited to any of my parties.

Sure its possible, but lets be real here, this is Veeky Forums, and Veeky Forums of all places.

Ok

You are a moron sir

>Fucking with vegans is fun and hilarious.
Until they fuck you back, I would not trust them not to tamper with my food if things got serious.

You can come to my parties, user

What is this thing we are doing on /ck lately where we ignore the question and attack the reason for the question.

OP does not care if you think he is an asshat, he wants help being an asshat. Give food suggestions or Stfu.

Go grab a head of garlic and a Cornish hen and make yourself a mini version of chicken with 40 cloves. Don't bother trying to separate the pieces before you cook the bird, just cut out the backbone split the breastbone and butterfly it. Should fit nicely in a small cast iron.

Make a show of tearing the bird apart by hand and enjoying the buttery garlicky juices coating your fingers.

...

Pls no bully

Because people don't like asshats, pretty simple.

Do you speak for OP?
If anything its good to have any amount of semblance on this site. And getting called out for stupid shit is better than taking part in it.

Salt baked salmon

No one likes getting sick

...

>>Do you speak for OP?

I am the Lorax, I speak for OP!
I speak for OP because he's a faggot, you see.
It's a rule as old as any may be.
Now I ask you good sir, to contribute OC.

How is he being an "asshat"? Fuck off back to tumblr with the other butt blasted vegans, I'm so sick of your special snowflake nonsense shitting up threads.

I say chicken drumsticks and wings or ribs, the bones in a big pile will freak them out, especially if you happen to make more than you can eat so must keep the leftovers in the fridge.

>contaminated

not bad/10

>all these niggas taking the bait

Never thought about that
Do vegans mouths water when they smell cooking meat I mean it's a natural thing
Do they feel ashamed of it

Faggot
An hero plz

That's silly.

theese, oysters are delicious and bugs are pretty cool and cheap if you make nice recepies

I really don't see why you think this is going to scare your new roommates. If anything you'll just seem like an edgy sperglord desu.