What do?

>be me
>at lunch
>waitress, on accident spills half a glass of water on my leg
>starts whiping it off with rag
>whips leg and upper thigh for what seems like forever

Do I....Do I have to tip more than 20% now??

Her boss will gladly give her to you for an evening out. Explain how she fucked up.

No, take her out back and fuck that degenerate bitch for spilling water on your precious legs.

Ask for her #

This whole board the past two days.
Pic related

>past two days

I dont know...did you cum?

If by two days you mean pretty much as long as it has existed, sure.

This girl kept nudging my arm while she was writing in class even after I slightly shifted my left arm away. She didn't even ask me out after class, does this mean I have to?

I'm sorta in the same situation bro

I sneezed in the middle of my exam and the girl next to me said "bless you." I think she likes me. Should I ask her out?

Hmm, based on that alone you are not guaranteed a date. If she has sat next to you more than once after that though itll be a yes for sure.

The problem for me is that I'm so devoid of other human contact at all that I popped a boner in my shorts and I could tell in the edge my of vision that she saw me adjust them. I couldnt see enough of her face to tell her expression though. God, I dream of that situation over and over where I dash my eyes over to confirm if it was a positive or negative look. We'd share small talk before AND during class so things were obviously going well but now I dont see her in class. Was she disgusted or was she flattered and too shy to sit next to me again?

How do I approach her boss, user-kun?

>he lives in a 3rd world country where tipping is required

The United States of America is NOT a third world country.

The girl at the Taco Bell drive thru gave me extra fire sauce and said thanks come again. Should I have got her number?

Do you have the auts?

I lead conversations well but I've been having a hard time forming any relationships at all. The farthest I get with anyone (other guys) is studying for tests but not just hanging out. As for females, I try my best to study their facial expressions and go from there. It usually doesn't matter since it's small talk but when events that can be interpreted more than one way like I described and I don't get to make a mental note of their facial expression I tend to melt down.

If I continue small talk on the next occasion I see them, is it just them being polite and secretly wishing me away or are they just going on as usual?

Do they only talk to me and respond to me to when I ask about their weekends because they can sense my lack of social skills and they pity me to begin with? These are things that are hidden away in their minds, and if they are not rude they will hide their true motives behind a vaguely happy face while they said they did xyz over the weekend or how the weather picked up recently. I don't really like not knowing

Not the above user, but yeah you definitely have the auts bruh.

I guess a helpful hint would be to pay attention to whether the person you are engaging in small talk asks you reciprocal questions and continues the conversation, or whether it seems like you are the only person asking questions repeatedly. If the latter, then they are probably just trying to be nice but really don't want to talk to you.

Sorry, bruv. If she really wanted to see you again soon, she wouldn't have given you extra anything to tide your TB cravings over longer.

Not like my sweet darlin at Arby's who gives me my coupon back, giving me the impetus to come again before 5/31/2016.

I'd argue that spilling water on customer means bad service, hence you could actually tip less.

OK how do I form relationships before my decent into the spectrum swallows me whole? I wasn't always like this. In highschool I was well liked and well known for being smart albeit dweeby. Despite this image associated with reject geeks in 1980s high school films, I even made it with the most cliche normies, gaining access to fairly exclusive parties with grown up substances and loosey goosey women. I'd usually just befriend other guys as the scantily clad sluts would remark about how how surprised they were to see me here or forget that we share almost every class.

It's like theres an autist tumor in my head that impedes my social skill set every month. Mote recently, I at least used to have a network of acquaintances were we'd discuss schoolwork but that disappeared, and all my old friendships are drifting apart as they meet new people. Things are like they used to be, playful banter and careless laughter are a thing of the past. Now it's like we awkwardly interview each other how what we did, where they discuss all the new adventures they have while I'm over here by myself in my mind realizing how dull our interactions have become. Our partnership in life reduced to a shell of what it once was.

Can you help me before I come to terms to what I've become, dreaming about events like op described where there is a valid excuse for a woman to touch me. I don't want the highlight of my month to be when I get my hair cut and my scalp grazed by feminine fingers.

Damn user, that's fuckin' brutal.

I don't know how helpful I can really be, but I would recommend bailing on those acquaintances and seeking a fresh start with different people - sometimes relationships simply can't be fixed. A good starting point would be something like attending open board gaming groups in your area, assuming you are into that sort of thing. A lot of groups are advertised at game shops/grocery stores/colleges/neighborhood bulletin boards/ect. In my experience, people who are into tabletop games are super inclusive, welcoming of new people, and friendly. Plus, getting to know new people in an environment where everyone is actively engaged in a fun activity together removes much of the inherent awkwardness. Plus, qt women make up a surprisingly large proportion of the tabletop community.

Something like that, or any other sort of social club or volunteer group is a good start. Sorry if this isn't particularly helpful user.

Cont.
Also, try not to over-analyze your interactions so intensely - that just adds to the stress on relationships both for yourself and the others, who most likely pick up on the desperation vibes. Gotta try and stay relaxed bruh.

Sue her and the Restaurant for sexual harassment.

I'll look into table top games. I guess living in a big city has its merits. Stuff like this has big communities. I used to play magic and I started some d&d campaigns with the DM holding my hand. I'll try but trying to socialize is very draining and exhaustive nowadays

Hey user, it might be exhausting as all fuck, but socializing is the only way to meet new people. You will never be showered with an abundance of friends magically falling from the sky - gotta actively seek them out. It gets easier with practice, just like anything else.
Best of luck user. o7

>>be me

No fucking shit? I thought you might have been someone else telling this lame ass story.

Thanks friend

In third world countries tipping is considered an insult.

Yeah that's why the whole Indonesian economy thrives on tips

It's because the wages are shit in 3rd world countries like Indonesia and USA

Stfu you Guys dont Even have free education of course your a 3rd world country

I don't think you know what "free" means...no country has "free education."

The best relationship of my life started with a girl spilling her drink on me.

>whips leg and upper thigh
Ponyfag detected.
>Global Rule 15

Whipping your thigh with the rag would be very inneficient.

and if you had free education, you would know that every nation that has a free education system, they are totally aware that society is paying for it and use the term "free" colloquially, but you are the only ones with a stick so much up their arses, they get triggered when someone points out it sticks out their nose.

>aware that society is paying for it and use the term "free" colloquially

Most people? Sure. That's right. But you'd be surprised how many people don't realize it's true cost user.

Manchild who doesn't pay taxes detected.

get into political theory and start smoking a lot of weed and cigarretes

>tfw girls only want to have one night stands with you and nothing more

I JUST WANT TO BE LOVED

How do you trick girls into having interactions with you?

Are you retarded or did you just spend too much time on /pol/? By your definition, nothing is free. Air isn't free because someone else had to exhale it first.

Write us 4 fucking stories holy shit user fuck off with your faggot ass

Well that's actually pretty true about the air