ITT: things that send you into a seething rage when visiting the supermarket

we don't all live in india.

When it is not a purpose built supermarket and is a franchise set up in a building originally designed for something else.

There is one specific supermarket in my city that if you are down an aisle and someone wants to get past, you have to hug the display to let them. I used to go in it in my last job while waiting for the bus so used to have a rucksack on, it was a nightmare.

It just seems like it would contravene some sort of disability law as there is no way in hell that someone in a wheelchair could realistically shop there. I know small businesses get some leeway with that but a franchise of a multi-billion corporation?

Your filename made me laugh 2bh, it's good that we can make each others day brighter.

People who wander around walking as if they're lost, but are not. They're walking suuuuuper slow, occasionally and suddenly just stop for no reason but plainly know where they're going. I don't expect everyone to be walking as briskly as me, but fuck's sake, at least keep moving. They're always young and able-bodied too. Fucking yokel chucklefucks.

I do this. Usually I'm either thinking about changing dinner or debating getting something else. I do move the hell out of the way though.

Someone post the webm, of that kid who shits on the floor and walks casually away.

i do most of my shopping in chinatown,
old chinese women dont give a fuck.
theyll scoot right in front of you.
old chinese women dont give a fuck.

The old people who had all morning to go shopping but decided to do it in the evening and get in my way when I'm in a rush to get home from working all day.

>Old people leaving their carts angled so that they can effectively block off an aisle, as they stagger off down to the opposite end of the aisle

This is the best thing to have happen. When they're not looking you make off with their cart and put it in the next aisle over. They get so confused you can almost see the thought cross their mind that they suddenly developed alzheimers.

>and they always pay with a check and take 30 minutes filling it out at the register

they're called low prices for a reason, user

>Cashiers who insist on commenting on what I purchase. I am not a fatass socially awkward whale anymore (I'm a socially awkward skeleton now) and I am always happy to fake a conversation with another person now, but commenting on things I buy gets to me. I find it's only the older cashiers who do it, so I avoid them as much as I can.

This.

>some person is in line
>they go to pay
>reach for a check book
>it's a person under sixty years of age

YOU HAVE NO FUCKING EXCUSE

i would honestly rather live with killing an old person than see a check written ever again

I hate going to the supermarket and seeing old people who are alive instead of dead. They're too fucking old to continue living, for fuck's sake.

They were grabbing the food I wanted to get.

when there's people there. I usually do my shopping before work. i found a supermarket relatively close to me that opens at 6 in the morning, so I go there to shop in peace

>that fucking mom who decides to take her entire trolley full of shit through the self checkout

>Maddox: the thread

I wish you guys could at least be hilariously overblown about your whining. At least you'd be funny.

When do they put out the fresh produce? The store I go to I can go at noon and they're still stocking it.

Depends on the store, and when their shipments come in, I guess. The store I like is open before dawn. They stock the produce at like 5-6 am. It's fucking awesome shopping in the morning getting to pick the best produce items in the store that day. The produce guys always say good morning to me and have been leaving the nicest stuff on top for me now. I've noticed they do restocks midday. If you go after work, it's like night and day. It's definitely lesser quality produce by then. but it doesn't get marked down. Upside of evening shopping is the discounted meats. I'd rather have the better produce though.

>the woman who takes 16 items into the 15 items or less lane

>people who put their cart off to one side of an aisle and then stand directly parallel while looking at the other side of the aisle effectively blocking the entire aisle
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PUT YOUR GODDAMN CART ON THE SAME FUCKING SIDE OF THE AISLE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Old people trying to use expired coupons,

I went food shopping today, there was this old fuck buying like 20 cans of beans because apparently, they were advertised in last week's flyer for like 30 cents less per can or some shit.

Any rate, he didn't seem to realize that the price from last week's flyer was no longer valid, given that it was Monday. The cashier tried to explain it to him, and he just didn't get it, and kept accusing the cashier of stealing from him and demanded to see the manager. Took like 20 minutes to get this fuck out of the way, and I was kind of stuck in line behind him because there were a bunch of other people behind me and all the other lines were long too.

I mean, the fucker must not have been saving more than 5.00 or so. Was that really worth pissing off every other fucking person in the store?

Five bucks is five bucks, and why should he give a shit about your opinion?

Because the special was already over and he thought he was still entitled to it because ???, and held up the line for 20 fucking minutes for no fucking reason.

I've miscounted once or twice and gone over 15, but i generally stop at 10.

>scoot'n'shoot

park right next to cart return for big trips
>50% less likely faggot dings ur door
>empty cart and put in cart return quickly

wear headphones with loud ass music playing
>cant hear overhead awful music
>cant hear anything and people accept it
>90% less likely to have any interaction with ANYONE while shopping, including sample whores
pro-tip: train yourself to stop any eye contact by stopping your vision at the necks of people
also, will recommend chris liebing amfm podcasts for a solid marching beat.

>cleaning, paper, toiletries first
>dry/jarred second
>produce third
>finish with fridge then freezer
>get to register, frozen on belt first, then fridge, etc
if u have a decent tier bagger you'll get home with everything seperated to get cold foods away first

psycho mode: wear sunglasses or even welding glasses and look like a complete creep asshole

idiot mode: shop hungry or with your gf.

People who walk around with headphones are some of the most entitled faggots out there. I'd ding the crap out of your car just on principle.

>produce third

Produce should come first because you use some sanitary alcohol gel in the car to wash your hands so when you pick out your lettuce you won't contaminate it. Get it in the bag asap and then you're free to touch the filthy cans and boxes 1000 other people have already manhandled that day.

>big cold secttion of supermarket is one single wall , already big mistake.
>that fucking old lady that walks next to it all the way from start to finish like she was taking a slow car ride checking out the neghborhood and forces anyone checking something out to move so she acn continue her stroll
>kids, people who complain about young ones dont take into account 14 year olds fucking up with the produce, god have mercy of your soul if you need to grab something for lunch and you live next to a school district or else its two continuos hours of gigant lines of kids holding 2 or 3 items each
>by the way lets talk about those fuckers that figure out they will buy grocerys for a month during peak hours
>people touching, squeezing, rubbing every little thing. I get wanting to check expiration dates, i get being curious about something you never saw and might want to try and i even get changing your mind about getting something but do you really need to know how cold it still is after 15 minutes of holding it
>lol look at this awesome deal, shame i just brought enough money for milk, i know i will grab 10 units and hide them around the store so i can come back in a couple hours
>soccer moms that grab a bag of chips and open them so them keeedz can eat while she moves her lardaround the store. Its really fucking un hygenic and i know you arent goinn gto pay for them
>the i just grab everything that looks yummy and return half of it in the check out because i didnt bring nearly enough money and i didnt calculate how much all this costs le le le meme guy
>the its muh purse ah dont know you mom fighting the security guard for 20 minutes over not letting him check her purse she brought into the store wich is obviously full of stolen chocolate bars while i actually need help
>small talk scott trying to score with the cashier for ten minutes
>the cashiers roomate that wants to fully stock the fridge and gets half the shit (which is 90% of the price) not really marked

>Cashiers who insist on commenting on what I purchase. I am not a fatass socially awkward whale anymore (I'm a socially awkward skeleton now) and I am always happy to fake a conversation with another person now, but commenting on things I buy gets to me. I find it's only the older cashiers who do it, so I avoid them as much as I can.

Fuck. Why? Stop commenting on my life choices you fucking bint.

>by the way lets talk about those fuckers that figure out they will buy grocerys for a month during peak hours

Just reminds me of a month ago when there was only one register open and I had one item and the people in front of me bought $450 worth of food. Fuck's sake.

>old people complaining about the price of everything hogging the line for 20 fucking minutes
>people who talk to you, bitch im not an employee.
>drunk people trying to get more drunk during hours were alcohol is not sold
>by the way that bitch that decided to buy vodka for a party 5 minutes before selling alcohol is ilegal and turns out there is a half an hour line, she will try to cut in line, try to negotiate your spot in line and when she fails she will bitch and moan loudly about being in the store before it was too late to purchase vodka
>the fucking faggot that buys every little bit of stock of one single product, i know is a supermarket so they have more in the back but they aint restocking until the store is closed
>whener they are offering wine samples there are 600 fuckers who cant give enough of a shit to throw it in the tiny bin or kep iy until they are outside so there are sticky plastic glasses all over the place
>that trashy mom with 3 children or old lady that will plead and beg for the cashieer to give her a discount or else she cant afford X (she totally can) knowing some beta retard or soccer mom will foot the bill
>the faggot that foots the bill
>the horribly missplaced item shelf nobody can find
>eggs, every fucking store has a different placement for eggs. Next to the dairy? next to the meat? next to the frozen vegetables?, next to the bread?
>anyone who buys a blanket, a chair, a fuckin tv or any other thing that shouldnt belong in a supermarket, it takes 30 minutes to finish the entire process
>lets spray every deodorant to see which one i like, you dont get to taste every cheese to see which one you like you piece of shit.
>the b retard who likes to switch price tags

yeah, i mean its ok to do that on a weekend, everyone knows that saturday is lets stock the fridge day especially the first and last one of the month but no, you had to buy everything on a tuesday night as the store is about to close, it wouldnt bother me as much if it wasnt for the 40 geniouses that figured this out

user switching price tags is how I afford steak so get off your high horse

>wear sunglasses or even welding glasses and look like a complete creep asshole
There's some guy that does this where I work, he always wears sunglasses with a hat and pulled up hoodie. Never takes any of them off indoors.
>oh fuck this guy is definitely going to steal someth-
>oh wait it's just user picking up their scripts

actually these can be quite nice, this supermarket near me had this entire big room that they couldnt just assimilate into the big square store shape so they decided to put everything a usual grocery store has there so while people crowded the meat, dairy, vegetables, drinks and candy isles this part of the market had a lot of open space between shelves, different music and a couple people buying making it feel more like a really nice small grocery store.
I remember this other one from my childhood that had a lower area you had to access with a ramp with all the snacks and candy.
That kind of thing makes the stores less souless

fuck you, i calculate the price of every little ting to know the exact sum im spending because of my extreme fear of being publicly humilliated by being short on cash and when someone pulls that shit and my total is way higer i end up paying for everything anyways even if it means not eating for a couple of days

>People that go to the 15 items or less isle with 16 or more items, then pay with a check

There's a SPECIAL PLACE IN HELL for these people

>only 16
i have seen people going with 25 products

>lactose intolerance
>Don't give a fuck
>Eat and drink a ton of dairy
>Crop-dusting entire store
>People coughing

>tfw drink tons of fizzy beverages so always gassy
>All my farts are silent

They wont know until it is too late

Yeah, 16 is fine, I don't care. Some people bring full cartloads to the express checkout, and the cashier basically can't do dick about it.

I also hate the people who get into the self-checkout lines when they clearly do not know how to use them, and there's an available cashier an aisle or two over who could have rung them out in 1/8 of the time it took them to figure out how to breathe and not fall onto the floor when they walk. Fuck you,

i once went to the supermarket next to college because i was on a diet and needed fruit every two hours and the machine to weight it had to be operated by the costumers, i spent ten minutes trying to figure out and another ten whit 3 people trying to help me while an angry line growed bigger and bigger
turns out the machine was out of papper

Autism

Yeah I do this all the time. I'm not going to go to a fucking isle just because I don't have time to count my groceries. Sometimes I bring a whole cartfull over there and no one says shit

>putting that much work in just to get a vegetable

I'm sorry but I'll admit I use the grocery store restroom without washing my hands and I've gone into produce afterwards before. I'm not taking the time to wash my hands in a grocery store. Just remember to wash your fruit and veggies

>People who eat food before they pay for.
I've literally done this every time I've gone into a store in my life and I'm glad it makes you angry. Keep on being a little beta bitch who plays by society's rules, me, I'll be eating a package of black forest ham and drinking a soda on my way to the register.

i hope you get shot while entering your group home in the ghetto, good luck we dont shop at the same store

samefag

Try again.

so you own a smartphone? welcome to the club buddy

>actually responding

Suck.
My.
Cock.

I specifically catch the bus to the nicest, whitest part of town and act like a full on fucking degenerate. Nothing makes me happier. This thread has actually given me some nice new ideas.

i would but i dont eat appetizers before a full dinner, no matter how tiny they are

I was just telling my roommate exactly the same thing today after visiting the Chinese market. He lived in China for 7 years and answered "How do you think they live to be so old? By not giving a fuck!"

i buy my grocerys before colsing, i dobut you dare to dare to go back rto the ghetto that late and even if you do there re security guards here who are former police officers that got fired for beating up niggers and anyone who sees you will call the police who havent been fired for beating up niggers but are happy to get the chance

Never tried watercress before and saw some in the produce isle the other day.
I took a single leaf and tried it to see if it's something I could use in a dish.

Does this make me an asshole for not wanting to spend money on something I have no idea if I want or not?

Idiot cashiers who refuse to learn the goddamn produce.

There's a huge price difference with some apple types, for one thing.

I'm also fucking sick of the store being loaded with sweet onions that nobody buys and is always out of goddamn yellow onions which these twat cashiers constantly ring up as sweet onions, hence why the store is loaded with those shitty things.

If you can't afford to buy a tiny bit then yes it makes you an asshole. I don't open the icecream and take a little scoop to figure out if I like the taste

If the ice cream had little sample spoons sitting on top of the container you would. That's the same as eating a leaf of something you're not familiar with.

I wouldn't get the chance because you would have eaten all of them already
Plus it's not a free taste, you are pulling the leaf from a branch while touching the entire thing with your greasy smelly fingers
How about I get lo lick everything you buy?

Do you think I need to rub my hands all over the plant to pick one little leaf off? Literally the only part that's touched is going to be consumed by the person who touched it, autismo. The guy in the back of the store who put it on the display probably has dirtier hands than anyone who might sample a leaf from it.

>college...on a diet
>costumer
>whit 3 people
>angry line growed
>out of papper

skip the diet next time and enroll in college

I dobut it Paco was able to hold a job long enough to be put in the fresh produce section
How about this then I want to buy dessert but I don't like what they are selling so instead I grab a plastic bag, put some strawberry's on and then I need some whipped cream right? But a can is too much so I open the whipped cream and put a healthy amount inside the bag with my strawberry's and even some chocolate syrup, I set the open can and bottle aside to anyone to use or the store to dispose, close the bag and have my tasty treat weighted, that's fair right?
NE f time I want a salad I can take half a tomato and half an onion too

Haha it's funny because I actually have a sight codittion and can barely read what I type right?

You should make an appointment with an optometrist.

I have and it has been diagnosed, it's not a problem until my eyes get really tired, sometimes they get so tired they sting hard

I'm glad you're taking care of it an consulting with professional health care providers.

Guys who are always alone, typically in their 20's, who are seemingly normal but you can just tell they've never even been on a date.

he was thinking about thos Beans

>Just remember to wash your fruit and veggies

I can't disinfect them with bleach. Take the 30 seconds to wash your hands you filthy animal.

I fucking hate it when cashiers just look at my food and comment on it
JUST LET ME GET MY FUCKING WUNDER BEANS AND LEAVE ME ALONE

Heheheh, I liked it user

>assuming that you have a right to privacy
>assuming that right holds in public spaces

...

>Take the 30 seconds to wash your hands you filthy animal.

I'm not going to stay in the grocery store any longer than I need to be. I don't have time to wash my hands when I'm in the store, I'm in a hurry. Just clean your produce, it will be fine

Get a better stomach. Give it twenty or so years; you'll probably be able to buy yourself a new one that isn't weaker than a dead baby.

>assuming Derrida was anything but a fraud

I know but it just makes me uncomfortable when they do that
>OOOOOOOHH WHATS THIS??
Australian licorice..
>SOUNDS YUMMY :DDDDD
u-uh huh
That's how it's like, doesn't it feel uncomfortable?

> be me
> about a week ago
> at Fred Meyers looking for a present for mommy's day
> obvious downs in the produce section
>mfw he's looking at his starchy brethren
>mfw he picks up a Yukon gold potato and dives the whole thing in his mouth
> whole fucking thing
> mother paying no attention
>mfw potato is turning red from cannibalism
> this mother fucking retarted shit starts choking
>mfw he looks like the kool aid guy from 1994
> being the asshole I am I start laughing my ass off
>tards eyes look like they're about to explode
> Still laughing twenty feet away from this magnificent beast
>tard is now a purple
>"gurrrrr"
> mom turns around
>"Tommy!"
>hfw her son is choking to death on his own kind
> irony.jpg
>tard falls on floor
> two others taking notice, trying hard not to laugh
> long story short, paramedics called to put tube down the tards throat in the middle of fucking Fred Meyers
>mfw It took the paramedics 10 to 15 mins to get here
>mfw tard passed out before the call was even made
>mfw I'm almost certain I watched natural selection at its finest
> It was a good day

>pontificating on Derrida as though on were in an unironic milieu

>assuming Derrida isn't the godfather of shitposting

I bet they put the potato back in the pile to be sold later too

see you in 3 days kiddo

This honestly couldn't be more true.

?

Funny thing, he actually was buying Bush's beans.

I, myself, could not have expressed the concept more clearly or explicitly than you, sire, have done. Much praise shall I proffer to you.

I try to avoid the supermarket, not because it sends me into a seething rage, but because my little ethnic and specialty markets have better stuff or better prices, often both. But the things that annoy me about the supermarket are:

- Most of what's for sale is crap. I don't need boxes of cereal, jars of spaghetti sauce, cans of corned beef, soda, deli meat, bad bread wrapped in plastic, snack foods or awful salad dressings and condiments. I just want to buy ingredients and cook my own food. Most of what's in the supermarket isn't ingredients.

- Waiting in line is one of those little indignities I do my best to avoid. It's common at the supermarket. I will avoid markets so poorly set up that waiting to pay for my shit is just built into the experience.

- The other customers are usually people I'd rather avoid. Because even if they're people I'd otherwise like when you put them under bad lighting and make them wait in line they become assholes. So do I. And the underpaid employees are really no better. So you've got a badly lit room full of mostly shitty food and assholes. Not a place I want to be.

Contrast that with an actual market where individual vendors who are generally proud of what they're selling and happy to interact with the customers who are enjoying the experience of shopping there. The supermarket is just fucking degrading.

-