>*A portly fellow in a flame shirt waddles to the counter of a Starbucks*
>"What would you like sir?"
>*The atheist squints around the coffee bar, his hands at the sides of his khaki shorts like he had two holsters. With one hand he expertly pulls out his wallet and with the other, he brings the tip of his hat down before placing his order*
>"Coffee. Black."
>*A hush falls over the patrons and staff. Women gush in their panties as whispers from men can't believe what's transpiring. The barista looks like he's about to faint, his grip on the cup furiously shaking as he slides it over the counter to our hero*
>*The cheetoh avenger slaps down a sticky five and a quarter with his hamhock fist before mumbling to no one that they should "keep the change", knowing he's a far better human being than people that put sugar or milk in their coffee*
What a Fedora Imagines When He Orders Black Coffee
A lot of thought was put into your post. I like these kinds of threads.
*hats off*
autistic millennials just order black because theyre too socially retarded to say 1 cream 1 sugar or something like that
I just don't order any because I like copious amounts of cream and like 3-5 sugars, I don't even know. I just make it myself because I'm a weak sweet loving little bitch
You are a millennial though
Please just go back to posting about pizza until Labor Day
What if I just enjoy the flavor of black coffee?
>autistic millennials
Ehh I love black coffee, but mainly for the contrast between that bitter taste and the sugar stuffed pastry that I'll be getting with it.
Impossible.
Coffee was originally an insecticide. What imbecile enjoys consuming insecticides?
You shouldn't order coffee black unless you are at some kind of hipster upscale coffee bar thing anyway.
Please stop posting the same retarded thread please & thank you.
Coffee with whole milk is the only acceptable answer. Anything less sucks, anything more is wankery.
93 days left until Labor Day
I'm 90% sure that's bullshit.
But I drink espresso
why would you ever order a black coffee in starbucks?
if im not sure if the place does ok espresso i have a flat white
I order black coffee becaus i like black coffee.
I have one:
>at Walmart
>go to the deli section
>by the breads
>hear sloshing behind me
>turn around, a neckbeard stands there before me
>he has a dark grey fedora with an ace of spades sticking out the top on the side
>black leather fingerless gloves with this silver 8 shaped thing on it
>wearing what appears to be a dark brown XXL moo moo of some sort
>probably trying to mimic a trench coat
>MGS shirt
>could kill myself because no phone on me
>"now where oh where are the damnable garlic knots?"
>he says "sigh" instead of actually sighing
>look over while he's turned
>has the atheist "A" imprinted on his backpack
>I see the knots, tell him they're by me
>he says thanks, and notices my cross necklace
>I'm not religious, but it matched my belt so I wore it
>you can barely tell it's a cross, has tons of filigree and shit
>"You Catholic?" he asked
>Just to see what he'd say I said yes and smiled
>"A papist eh? Well I've debated a fair amount it my time"
>I can't believe this is happening right now
>I asked him what he was
>"An almost certain agnostic atheist"
>"You know the Pope is suppose to live like a poor man, right?"
>I don't fucking know Catholic theology
>I tell him it's what Jesus would want (don't shoot me, Veeky Forums)
>He tells me to read up on Sam Harris and you guessed it, Hitchens
>I ask who they are
>"An intellectual heavy weight who died in 2011, and an amazing brain scientist"
>he actually called Harris a "brain scientist"
>told him I would check them out when I got home
>he told me he hoped I would give up "fairy stories from a time when man was flawed and servile"
>smiled at him and continued my shopping
Your mother, most likely. After all, she has no qualms about ingesting spermicide.
TOP KEK
I thought the A symbol was for anarchy
It is
i think you spoke to my brother
>The atheist squints around the coffee bar
As if believing the bullshit from any given religion isn't the most fedora tier attribute any lone person could ever have...
Actually it's because I want fucking coffee in the morning and not a hot milkshake with caffeine and more sugar than candy bars
JUST
>go to mcdonalds drive through
>order a small coffee, 1 cream 4 sugar
>sip it as I pull away
>motherfucking splenda
if i weren't almost late, i would have had words with those employees