Jesus christ I always thought chopping onions and crying was some kind of meme, but this is awful...

degeneracy is the future

...

Only for trash.

Shut the fuck up.
Shut up or I will crush the life out of your dweeby bean sprout neck effortlessly with a single hand.

why does he ...

What does your girlfriend look like?

He probably doesn't have one

calling everything a meme is a meme

stick your tongue out while you cut onions

Is cutting onions some kind of new experience for you? How the fuck did you get to adulthood without learning such basic life skills?

>boot camp

Ah, that explains it.

Take a slice of toast or sandwich bread and keep it in your mouth while chopping onions. Works 100%.

Come have a chat!

#0x7c2 on rizon.net

Feel free to use any desired client, such as kiwiirc for web, or hexchat for local.

On a side note: Kek at OP for seriously having this much of an issue with fucking onions. It's fucking onions.....

GO ZA

You're talking like you've never cut an onion before. How did you reach the posting age without cutting an onion ever or being around someone else cutting onions?

Crying while cutting an onion is possible, but you have to put your face right up to it, cut close to the root and/or mangle it with a dull knife. When making french onion soup I cut 9-15 onions back to back without crying, so does julia child, you can too.

If he took off that mask would he die?!

Lmao

S A V A G E
A
V
A
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E

>he fell for the calling everything a meme is a meme meme

You left your room and ventured in the kitchen of your parents house, congrats, there's a whole world if you forgot outside your front door, you should dress up and venture outside more often and interact with real living human beings in person.

>that post

You can smell the virginity from here..

your knife isnt sharp enough if you're crying. get gud

Just wash the fucking thing with water in between chooping.

My guess is that you're full of shit or use better onions. the sulfer content can vary. over all though I find I can cut about 2 onions without crying if I'm using one of my sharper knives. they aren't all that sharp, but they aren't some retarded serated shit.

if you wear contacts you get super powers

sticking your head in the fridge real quick will clear you up too

OP heres protip, water in mouth, breathing by nose

>This creates sulfenic acid

>he can only have sex by getting with tatted-up trailer trash girls who smell like an ashtray
kek

>A member of the world's most elite military is being subdued by a vegetable

Actually its that he isn't fast enough.

There's a chemical in alliums like onions, shallots, and garlic that is released when cells are ruptured, ergo chewing or slicing with a knife. It's a defense mechanism to deter animals from eating them. Think capsicum.

Only way to avoid this shit is to wear glasses, reading glasses work fine I guess. You dont kneed a gas mask like in Boot Camp or the OP but it'll definitely help.

That's not the point. I'm not a judgemental faggot, that's one of the reasons I get laid.

That's what I do. I keep them in the refrigerator. On the rare occasion when I slice onions that aren't refrigerated, I'm always caught by surprise by the irritation to the eyes.

I used to live in one town that had a Subway where the idiots working there would soak the onions in vinegar to cut the irritation. I love onions on nearly anything but when I ate there I would tell them no onions if I remembered in time. Their onions were terribly bad but they were happy because their eyes weren't irritated while slicing them.

I suggested time after time after time that they just refrigerate them first but they refused to do that.

If I went somewhere that did that now, I would just ask for a refund and not go back.

I for one use the Onion Goggles (TM) when cutting onions.

Where I found out all about them, you might ask? One of the finest American Youtube chefs recommended them highly. You can see him goofing around in the attached webm. He surely knows what he's talking about, he's got several thousand subscribers, appeared in numerous TV shows and sells his own line of sauces.

It's easy to reach 18 under parents who cook only from boxes or cans. What do you think onion powder is for.

>i don't have any standards, that's one reason i've got herpes

>Implying "Standards" help against conctracting herpes
They don't.

Suck it up. I cut around 15-20 onions a night at work and by the 3rd time my eyes got used to it.

contacts = immunity to onions = always get stuck prepping onions

if you work in a kitchen and have to prep a whole days worth of onions, wear a mask.

if you can't handle chopping up 2 onions at home without crying like a bitch, buy some chewing gum and kill yourself in the parking lot

i wear glasses and i still cry whenever i am slicing onions.

You know that if you had eaten the fruit loops before you went in You would still cry, but you would not throw up from the tear gas right?

Onions goggles

You eventually get used to it, I used to have to chop big sacks of onions at a time

It's fucking torture at first, but eventually becomes more of a mild annoyance

See
Also putting the onion(s) in the fridge an hour or so before you cut into them helps. But if all else fails:
amazon.com/53875B-Anti-Fog-Goggles-Wide-Vision-Approved/dp/B000XYWZYW/

The trick is to leave the butt of the onion on. Many people tend to take that off first and that leads to crying.

Plants are master chemical wizards. And they don't like being eaten. But we humans are smarter than the plants and have become chemical wizards too.

Always cook your plants to deactivate their defenses.

>it's not skanks giving you herpes! Fuck everyone!

T. Herpes

>explaining cooking and prep as ancient warfare