What fruit feels most like a vagina? I just had a lychee for the first time and it felt really vagina-ey...

Grapefruit.

Cantaloupe rinds kind of feel like a vagina. Go buy a cantaloupe, cut it in half, make a hole through it with a melon baller and microwave it until its warm. Enjoy.

inside of a ripe durian

...

Grapefruit

youtube.com/watch?v=hdHZ5hp45Fc

Peaches... Gets fucking wet like pussy when you eat it.

You don't seem to understand the structure of a durian fruit.

Donuts, very small underage donuts

>2:40
top kek tbhfam

Just stick your finger under your tongue. That's vagina feeling.

t. exbert

This is possibly the saddest post i've ever seen on this hellhole.

dude go down to your local internatinal food place and get you a aloe leaf, cut off the edges with the spines, split down the middle and hold in had and well... you could make a drink or something with it i hear.

... is messy.

>I could have been fucking a grapefruit all these years!

top kek

'go style 'na

When I was like, 19. I fucked a microwave lasagne lmao

papaya

dont stick your dick in this unless you want to exfoliate it

>but I´m no expert.
We know

the aloe slime, the slick nature of its pulp.
/thread

what is this new meme?

>those fucking sounds while she's "blowing" that dildo.
I would fucking break up with my gf, or never, ever have her blow me, if she made such disgusting noises.

kek

>CHKWOWCHWOWCHWOW

salty milk

Jezus fucking christ user where the fuck do you even find this shit, this can't be fucking serious

>wood chipper noises while sucking

This is actually the most accurate one. If not nectarines.

pineapple :)

Why would you think that was a good idea? What feels good about just having a sloppy mess on your dick?

Need me a freak like this.

Strelnikov approved.

RIP

>virgin marshmallow butthole

all right, i'm done for the year

>"I coulda been fuckin' a grapefruit for all these years"

superior keks

She gives lectures on blowjob techniques
youtube.com/watch?v=Fgeg7mxfSG0

fucking kek'd

What the fuck.....

Food that feels most like vagina would be a freshly cooked prime rib loin. Used to work at a steakhouse and boy' I tell ya. You pull out a hot loin and stick your fingers in it feels like a warm vagina. You just stick your fucking fingers in that prime rip and jiggle it around. Fucking in and out and in and out squish squish sounds fuck yeah and then, "HEY ASSHOLE YOU GONNA CUT THAT NEED 2: MID-RARE 16 AND A MEDIUM 12 CUT HURRY THE FUCK UIP!!!!"

>Planning

This has to be a lost sketch from the Chris Rock Show or something.

FOR GOD SAKES JACK EAT LIKE A DECENT HUMAN BEING FOR ONCE

Came here to post this.

I feel like a disgrace to /d/ for not having the cantaloupe futa comic saved.

I feel like this would be more convincing for viewers if the sounds and range of motions in the video didn't require a horse cock.

Pic one of two. If you have any desire to try this it's going to take a lot do trial and error.
Make sure to use a larger glass. At the opening k felt nothing. Then I stuck my dick into a sticky fun trap. Starch doesn't prevent your head from ripping marshmallows apartment.

0/10
Banana skins still reign supreme as mastabatory aids

Why the fuck would you ask that

I heard veal cutlets is pretty much a carbon copy of vagina firmness and wahtnot

Oh that is not creepy or anything

What doesn't?

How would someone use said banana skin? I need to know for...research purposes.

Cut off both ends so that the left over section is about 3/4 the size of your junk.
Then carefully make one cut lengthwise and peel the skin off the middle section.
Eat banana because fuck you don't waste good food.
Wrap around. It'll take a second or to for the stuff inaide the skin the break up, but once it does its basically lubed.
Alternatively, stick in microwave for a second

Don't act like you wouldnt go to work on a carrot in desperate times

The absence of any suction? The shame of smearing food slop all over your johnson?

one time when eating a sliced cucumber it made me think of pussy feel.

can't remember anything else I've eaten making me think of pussy.

All those ugly fatties in her blowjob course.
And those fucking noises…

>7:40
>My boner is so gone, its actually so far inside myself, that it pokes out my but again.

I've tried that, and it was probably the least satisfying fap I've ever had.

OP if you want to stick your dick in fruits then go to Veeky Forums.

Does he have downs or autism or something?

So is it good exercise or something?

No fruit because vagina is about 37 degrees celsius warm and fruit don't produce heat

kekd.

Old stinky seafood.

This is stupid. This too soft.

I had no clue it was possible to eat a sandwich wrong.

A terrible knowledge has been thrust upon me this day.

>but I'm no expert
yea I figured

try a gymsock filled with warm mashed potatos

sex with food, well at least it beats getting your dick stuck in an sks

I Keked

top fucking kek

Plus there's always that chance of getting a rogue piece of groundbeef lodged down your cock hole.

Jalapeño

...

Just look it up.

Kekerino

And I just pissed myself

fuuuuuuuuuuu went there for a laugh, now I can't sleep. it's dark. hold me Veeky Forums

Not that you'd know, of course

I fucked a tomatoe once 2 min in the microwave then you get a screwdriver have fun ;^)

That's why yo have to use a condom.

Be Smart. Be Safe.

Just save up 40 bucks for a decent Japanese onahole, as realistic as you can get and it lasts for years kek.

Thanks user, havent seen this vid in a while

newfags

these feel amazing. just cut off the end and you have a tight, wet hole.

>remembering the time I tried to jerk off with a pain cream containing capsaicin

>ctrl-f
>watermelon
>0 results
Someone gonna post it? I would if I had it...

thanks OP I just divorced my wife for sum grapefruit

Have you tried jerking off with your hand instead?

this really works, feels very very good, but is kind of a waste of fruit. I feel weird about eating them after b/c they get hairs in them, so it seems like a waste. Also, seriously don't refrigerate that would be v cold.

What the fuck is pain cream?

A warm watermelons insides

...