Obese Muslim here. I am from the UAE...

Why not just fast you fat piece of shit. What you're experiencing is the withdrawal of the drug you've been stuffing yourself with your entire life, must be overwhelming.

Are you allowed to use lotions? Just lather up after consuming them. Certainly there's no laws against skin care.

Fuck off
I eat because I live in a Muslim shithole. Everyday I must pray 5 times. I need at least 2 cookies to get over this trauma. I cannot go to a Mosque without some chips for comfort.

You get beat a lot, don't you?

what's stopping you from moving? I heard several european countries will take in your kind.

Butter doesn't need to be refridgerated. It might melt, but it'll still last a long while.

Go to town on that abu-fatty.

>Chips and Nuts- Too crunchy. Also difficult as I am fat, and I often drop food without realising when eating small food items, so I accidentally stand on nuts causing them to stick to my feet which ends with my treading them across the house

holy fuck my sides

Time for you to buy soylent.

if youre really 300 pounds you could probably kick your dad's ass. why would you let him beat you?

Arab people are very submissive to their fathers. It's extremely socially unacceptable to disrespect your father in any way.

Because his dad can go full inshallah and execute him.

He is 400lbs

solid gold thread OP. Many Veeky Forumshumour threads await your pasta

Have you considered a camelbak full of chocolate yogurt drink? You could hide it under your rolls/clothes and drink delicious choco drink all day as long as you rinse your mouth out quickly.

You must get the waist mounted version-I fear that if your father did decide to beat you for another reason and you were wearing the backpack style camelbak, it would burst, showering him and you with sticky brown liquid and bringing shame onto your house. Inshallah that shall never happen, PBUH who is great

but it's socially acceptable for your father to disrespect you by beating you?

damn, dude. you should leave. here in the states hitting your kid is on a fine line between controversially harsh parenting and criminally abusive behavior that will get your kids taken away, depending on how severe it is.

>here in the states hitting your kid is on a fine line between controversially harsh parenting and criminally abusive behavior that will get your kids taken away, depending on how severe it is.

only if you're white. brown, asian or arab that's just your "culture"

Pretty much. I'm not OP but I'm an Arab and fathers are basically the dominant members of the household and if you act out in any way, it's basically a one way ticket to getting your ass beat.

Start on a true paleo diet when the fast breaks, and keep it up through ramadan. You'll forget to eat after awhile because you just won't be hungry. Best option IMHO

Have you considered patricide?

How in the ever loving fuck can you not go 12 hours without eating? How weak is your willpower? For fucks sake, when the sun goes down, you bitches have a feast.

>we are all fasting which means I can't eat during the day and it is causing me to fucking go crazy
That's because it's not fasting. It's binge-purge. Fuck only knows why your insane culture does this to itself.

Last time I was in the UAE Veeky Forums was blocked by the morality police, are you using a VPN?

Keep up with the Ramadan spirit by pigging out on some fucking dates. If it's good enough for MahoundSAW, it's good enough for your fat ass.

You can access with https

Holy shit
This is actually a great idea, get some of that and mix it with Vimto for a delicious red-velvet smoothie on demand

Vimto dank af. approved.

>fat people are strong

Ohhhhh my sweet misled child.

Smoked ham

Grow balls and eat what, when, and where you want.

It's not totally wrong, untrained fat fucks have pretty high squat, DL, and bench numbers, relative to healthy people. That comes at a cost, and definitely doesn't translate to fighting fitness, but whenever you see someone e-statting and their numbers are off the charts, it's safe to assume they're obese. And it doesn't take much work to get those numbers much higher, again without getting fit in any objective sense

just get up early in the day before dawn and eat too much ramen
also piss into a mt dew bottle and keep it on your desk
your dad will think you're drinking soda and drink it

>obese squats
>obese deadlifts
>obese bench

You're fucking insane if you believe this. Fat people are unimaginably sedentary, so don't give me that fatlogic horseshit about their bulk providing some form of passive resistance training.

why dont you eat soap, or sand

also this:

Bait or not this thread has made me laugh, I really want to believe that a fat manchild is getting a beating from an angry father for smuggling food.

Dude isn't the Ramadan supposed to clean and purify your mind and spirit? Maybe the frustration you are feeling is necessary to become a better (nonfat)person.

>Dude isn't the Ramadan supposed to clean and purify your mind and spirit?
Its barely even that, they pig out for breakfast, wait 12 hours then pig out again, they are just skipping a meal and snacks.

yeah its weird that they can't be hungry for a whole day
weak willed people

OP is a terrible excuse for a Muslim. A pitiful fat fuck who can't even last a couple of hours without stuffing his gob.

The way that fasting is supposed to be done is to eat normally and not pig out during iftar or suhoor. Calorie in, calorie out. If you can fit 2000 calories in 24 hours then you shouldn't gain weight. Only the poor know what real starvation is like, such a shame that people like OP actually exist.

Its even funnier when you find out that many actually gain weight during their "fast" because they gorge themselves instead of pacing themselves.

You guys can fuck off making fun of me. Nobody has given me any help. I already explained Dates and Raisins are out of the question. Especially because my mother purchased 10kg of dates for Ramadan so if I go to buy more the shopkeeper will tell her and she will tell my father and he will beat me. Tomorrow I am going to buy some ice cream sprinkles.

1. They meet my criteria
2. They do not arouse suspicion I will be eating during the day because ice cream would melt here
3. I can hide them easily
4. I can pour them straight into my mouth
5. I wear colorful shirts so even if I spill some on myself they will be masked
6. I can throw them at my fathers eyes if he hits me

Thanks for nothing

Snap into a Slim Jim!

Just blow yourself up in protest, or maybe rape and behead a little girl or two

It's clearly bait

/thread

But seriously OP, good stuff.

>5. I wear colorful shirts so even if I spill some on myself they will be masked
kek

You can always try the old paper-towel-roll-in-a-half-empty-Pringles-can trick.

But what if the sprinkles on your shirt are discovered? The sprinkles may look like a rainbow and people will think you are gay, your father will beat you for it after he has finished raping you.

I'm curious Mr. Jihad Special Snowflake, why can't you abide the taste of bread without butter?

You're father's doing the right thing beating your fat ass. Learn some discipline and lose the weight, otherwise you can keep "suffering". You're probably the problem child of the family judging by the way you type.

theres 'cha pringles now?

I hope his dad kicks his ass, just because he's such a special snowflake.

I hope his dad beats the religion out of him, just like my dad beat the religion out of me.

I hope he gets so sick of the ritual bullshit he ends up turning atheist.

In Canada at least. They are okay, but the Frank's Pringles in the U.S. were pretty good, wish we could get them here.

This was a hilarious thread.
Now go swallow wet cotton balls during the day to keep you sated until after the sun goes down.

>tips

Sleep during the day, live at night.

His father would beat him for being lazy, and fat.

Yeah really. Buy a bottle a melatonin. Take two like 6mg of it and you're guaranteed to fall asleep, no matter how hungry you are.

Just sleep through the month.

Diabetics are exempt from Ramadan. You're a fat fuck, get tested for the Beetus, I bet you have it.

dj khaled pls go

another one

Astronaut food. Meat stew and mashed potatoes in suckable form out of a bag. Easy to hide the bags, easy to eat, easy to hide. Shame you guys don't have a space program because you think the World is square or whatever.

Buy whatever the fuck you want.

Eat whatever you want.

Get yourself stoned to death.

Become a symbol for your people.

The symbol to be fat and eat whenever.

In death, you will lead them into the light. You will be an example for all. People will sing your songs and decorate your monuments !

Go my son, do it for the food !

>not leaving your religion because you dislike shit

You're a man too, won't be executed on the spot.

In Bangladesh, they execute on the spot.

Carrots
Rice cakes
Beef Jerky
Peanut butter- straight out of the jar

Try to nibble quietly

True, but not by the state. The wahabbist assholes down the street armed with machetes do that shit.

If you're really from the UAE post your passport with a timestamp you dumb fuck

It's true though

It's a thing in cycling too

The fat guys who suck at climbing can be surprisingly fast on flat ground

It's not because they're amazing athletes, it's because in some scenarios gross power output is more important than power to weight

I have Muslims and religion, but we'd all be better off promoting fasting. Just starve, faggot.

TORQUE!

I hear it's very difficult to convert out of Islam esp due to family pressures. Also I'm guessing OP doesn't bring a wage and is dependent on his parents.

Kek this tbqh SENPAI. Grow a back bone or follow your fucking religion correctly. What's the point of being Muslim if your cheating yourself. Its the most shit tier religion

damn, finally an easy one

bacon, dammit, bacon

From the uae here too. Not reading your post your a fat shit that thinks diabetes comes with age and love to eat whenever you go out dont you? FUCK you.

Isn't the UAE degeneracy-tier arab world? Just go to the dhimmi ghettos to stuff your fucking face

if you blow the smoke into a toilet paper role stuffed with lint sheets, your parents wont be able to smell a thing

This will just make him hungrier.

>I can throw them at my fathers eyes if he hits me.

top fucking kek brother

I bet you had this whole thread planned out

10/10

Just eat the entire fucking fridge while you're at it, Abdul.

kek

You clearly aren't a faithful Muslim, so why bother pretending?

At any rate, fasting can actually be really good for you. You should give it a genuine go, not to get closer to God, but because it could do your fat ass some good. The trick is not to pig out once you're off your fast.

I've fasted before when I was a religious nutjob. You'd be surprised how much work you can get done.

Pears. They are soft without much crunch and you can eat all of it, snack cakes. Put them in your underwear, eat in bathroom, shit, place plastic wrappers in shit wrapped toilet paper
wrap with more toilet paper
sincerely fatty with hidden eating disorder

This is obviously a fake post and bait thread. However in case there are any mudslimes out there living in hell holes were they must subject themselves to this then just do what I do. Become nocturnal. It sounds like you're a fatfuck NEET like me anyways so you do not need to be awake during the day. This way you sleep the entire day (when it's forbidden to eat) and you wake up and have dinner for breakfast and are allowed to eat all you want throughout the night. I do this in the summer (I live in a desert) to avoid the heat. Also I once "did ramadan" with a Saudi qt (a lot of saudi sluts in California) and I did this trick. Worked like a charm. I was only able to fuck her once though because her little brother (lol) would always have to accompany her.

تريد تفطر يا دب !!

>Muslim.
Just kys

OP, start smoking cigarettes. They do away with your appetite and you can go on all day without eating. This way you can be a good boy during Ramadan, lose some weight and begin to be sociable. Also look into some job that will get you out of that house asap

don't op. UAE is pretty hard core muslim, you might get a public lashing. It's illegal for two girls to kiss in your country even in complete privacy. And thats non muslim tourists, I can't imagine what they'd do to a believer.

Technically, OP can't smoke, there's a fatwa on smoking. No idea if the UAE strictly follows it, elsewhere in the world, everyone smokes.

What you're looking for is some good old 'go'za

It meets all of the criteria and you can drink it so it won't make much noise.

I had no idea. In my country we say heavy smokers "smoke like Turks" so I thought it was accepted. He can still chew or sniff tobacco though.

OP, this poster:reminded me of a certain song. I dedicate it to you:
youtube.com/watch?v=OJi4bln-hHQ
When you hate yourself enough, come join us over in Veeky Forums.