Hello friends, time for another episode of me penetrating objects that are meant to be in your mouth; I Fuck Food...

Hello friends, time for another episode of me penetrating objects that are meant to be in your mouth; I Fuck Food. (Reupload with new picture as proof.)

Food Item #3: Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches!

Preparation: 7/10 (Medium) Get two pieces of bread and slather some creamy peanut butter and jelly of your choice. Don't microwave this as the jelly will get up quick and burn your manhood. Also each piece of bread onto your dick and fuck it.

Stealth: 4/10 You can get away with this, but only if you are slow and deliberate when fucking the sandwich. The sound f the peanut butter and jelly makes a noise, but it's not too loud. I wouldn't do this if you live with people. The peanut butter will mask your cum scent.

Session: 5/10 The feeling I had when fucking this sandwich was weird. It felt like fucking that Batman Villain Two Face, because there was one side that felt like warm and thick, and another felt cold and slick. I came rather quick, because this felt similar to lotion or lube.

Orgasm: 4/10 Better than using your hand! The orgasm wasn't one that will make your legs shake or anything, but you will feel more euphoric because of the peanut butter. I almost couldn't pull out because of that feeling.

Cleanup: 2/10 This seemed like an easy one in hindsight, but there is some laundry involved. The jelly came off me easy, but the peanut butter stickied to my picky I took a wet washcloth and almost ruined it because peanut butter stained it, so I just threw it in the wash and took a shower. Also had to hide my sandwich. Because people were near.

Overall experience: 6/10 Better than I expected. I suggest trying this if you're alone and horny.

Thanks for reading! Here's the picture. Hope you enjoyed. Suggest what food I fuck next down in the comments.

NOTE TO MODS: I have read through the rules of Veeky Forums and the global rules and I am in no violation of them. Don't remove my post, or I make 2 per day. Thanks.

NOTE TO MY READERS: I might not post till Monday. Sorry

Other urls found in this thread:

warosu.org/ck/thread/S7781010
warosu.org/ck/thread/S7777820
twitter.com/AnonBabble

MODS

Meh I want the mods to see this desu

Someone screencap this shit lol

your dick is covered in aids, and i'm not talking about the pb and j. those bursting veins on the left rofl.

meh.

Heres your (You) senpai. It was a worthy effort.

I hope you can overcome your massive need for attention because it's kinda embarrasing.

Post back issues please

That's jelly, my bro. I used jelly with seeds.
I fucked it 4 hours ago. No issues yet!

He means post your previous experiences fucking food like a sociopath

I'm having fun, something you can't do. I'm sharing it, too. Not embarrassed actually!

What past experience do you request? I've fucked marshmallows and a grapefruit.

Whoops forgot my name yet again

All of them

Episode #2
warosu.org/ck/thread/S7781010
Episode #1

That's all if them.

Whoops episode #1 didn't show up here
warosu.org/ck/thread/S7777820

What is that? Looks like a Fungul infection, or the guy dipped his dick in a pot of boiling water

I think you need professional help.

It's my dick after fucking the sandwich.
I think you need to gain a good sense of fun.

...

Wow the evening crowd is so rude.

Nice thread user

Where is your foreskin, are you a jew or a muslim?

>he said, as he interrupted this comfy board with his "babby's first /b/ tier thread" bullshit

nice thread
upvoted (:

>IMG_1541.jpg
Is this you? Want to go on a date?

I like they way OP dont give a fuck about the vegan mods.
You fuck those foodstuff OP
Git it!

Try fucking a water melon with a cut/drilled into it. I wonder what that would be like.

On a somewhat related note, my gf bought a butt plug and brought home what is in the attached pic.

Never used anything but my hand for jerkin my gherkin, but I gotta say this is pretty nice. I've only used it a few times but it is great - really tight (need lube to use it), interesting texture, makes a weird slurping sound, etc. It's kind of weird because it is very floppy so it's like you are jerking off with a dangling giant blue cock over your wiener.

Anyway, if I was a permavirgin/neckbeard I would definitely order one of these or a similar sex toy online.

Do you post goza threads in your downtime?

You sound new, almost summery.

i like these threads but maybe dont start them with a dick pic as the op

This. OP don't post dick pic as the OP pic. Just imgur them if you want us to see proof.

come on... velveeta vs. casu marzu

no no dont put them on imgur

i just mean if you dont use a dick pic as the op you will piss less people off who dont want to see a weird dick pic on a blue board and the threads might last longer before mods notice them

Best food thread of all time, next time post more pics in the act.... hoping this isn't a repost.

yeah pics in the act would be good too

this had been up for 2 hours

>Janitor/Mods delete post that triggers faggots and liberals almost immediately.
>Leave up NSFW in SFW board.

HE DOES IT FOR FREE

OP I can appreciate your unusual passion but next time can you please just show a pic of the food rather than your dick covered in said food?

You're someone, queer.

We all complained about janitors deleting perfectly fine images, so they got all sulky and left the site with tears streaming from their eyes. Now there's nobody to delete images when it's actually needed.

You're giving them far too much credit; They leave up terrible threads like this when they damn well know it's here, just to spite us for not appreciating their "hard work".

If there was something illegal posted, then I guarantee you it would be gone in minutes, or even seconds. Extra laughs for if the thread is left up(I've seen this happen before).

not all of us think these threads are terrible

its better than another joey or 'go 'za thread desu

If I wanted to see a dick, I wouldn't be visiting Veeky Forums. I'd be pulling down my pants and getting a magnifying glass.

Janny plz