What is the worst dish you have ever cooked?

What is the worst dish you have ever cooked?

I don't know. It wasn't memorable.

I dunno if it was the worst dish i ever made but i made a fish soup awhile ago. They were smaller fish from a disreputable source, can't remember what kind of fish. They weren't gutted and i boiled them whole with vegetables and spices and shit. Fed it to a couple friends, no one got sick but it had way too strong fishy taste

I fucked up the first and only from scratch cake I ever tried to make. In the process, I broke the mixing bowl which was a bit of an heirloom piece with gold leafing. The shards cut me deep and now I have a scar that probably won't fade and forever remind me that I should never bake

Oh, to qualify it for this thread, the cake tasted like dirt. That was a bad night

So far, only burnt some meat when I forgot to go turn it off. It wasn't inedible, but it certainly didn't taste right.
I don't really cook much and, thanks to premade seasonings, I haven't managed to fuck anything yet on that aside forgetting to salt things sometimes.

>'instant' red thai curry that I wanted to get rid of
>minced beef about to go off, so I better use that too
>half-way through cooking, decide I should probably use the pulled pork I've had sitting there forever
>so far off the deep end at this point that adding in some frozen leafy greens doesn't even phase me
>along with some form of canned fish-loaf with cyryllic text on it
>let it simmer until I finally feel brave enough to eat it
>it's disgusting
>so disgusting I eat it for three days straight just to spite myself
>cry myself to sleep every night

Saw an episode of No Reservations where they made a coconut chicken crepe with a fresh veggie salad and I decided to try and replicate it by watching the scene a few times.

Inedible, excessively creamy, somehow both under and overseasoned and topped off with a savory crepe that turned out like a bland tortilla. The burger I got after I threw that horseshit out was pretty good though

How do you fuck up this badly?

I had a habit of cooking food while high a while back.

I would always forget that I had already salted the food, and would salt it again 2 or 3 times.

Only real objectively inedible thing I've cooked in recent memory in adulthood was fried rice when I was new to cooking things outside of scrambled eggs and bacon.
Everything was fine except the rice was undercooked as fuck and I didn't realize until it was all combined. I made like 6-8 large servings because I was home alone for a while and planned to primarily eat that but I ended up throwing out the majority of it. Fucking huge waste but I couldn't think of how to salvage it.
I remember making something really bad when I was a teenager too but unfortunately for this thread I've blocked out most of that memory. All I remember is baked beans and tabasco were involved.

i slightly overcooked my dads steak this last fathers day. he said it was good but i know deep down he feels extreme disappointment.

This is the greatest thread I have ever seen on Veeky Forums. Laughing my ass off.

Literally every time my brother and his friends wants to cook something.

Like, I seriously thought the idea of there being "too many cooks" was just a meme, but hands-down, SOMEONE will try to show off their BIG, FAT, COOKING EXPERTISE and somehow ruin it one way or another.

Like, one of them is a pampered man-child who can't even brush his own teeth without stubbing his little toe. One of them is a vidya-gaming nerd who once asked me how to use curry powder. The other can at least cook just enough to feed himself, and my brother is a meme-tier ketchup user who doesn't even WASH THE FUCKING DISHES REEEEEEEEEE.

So WHY is it that when we decide to do a little home cooking, they ALL turn into fakie-Ramseys and wannabe Changs?

Like, seriously? What? JUST LET ME DO MY SHIT AND STOP TURNING DOWN THE GODDAMN HEAT, YOU FUCKING CHILDREN.

Also, your parents make more money then half my neighborhood combined. Why the FUCK don't you guys have a cutting board? Why the FUCK is your entire kitchen so under equipped?

Where the FUCK is the pride for your fucking kitchen, CHRISTIAN? And clean up your damn bedroom too. Fix your bed you fucking ANIMALS.

I was really poor a few years ago and I wanted to try something neat for myself for christmas so I found this weird recipe by a man I soon hated.

Jamie Oliver's fucking ground beef wellington. What a soggy nasty mess of greasy puff pastry and sloppy mushroom paste. I hope Jamie Oliver fucking dies.

My GF once talked me into making a rattatouile for her. I've messed up with spices and it managed to taste at the same time bland as fuck and overspiced like a vomit.

Looked really pretty though.

The high shock/confusion when you take the first mouth and it's so salty would be hilarious

>WOOOOPS!

Why are you on this board. Go away.

>b with food and much less activity
>muh exclusive board no one allowed in if I don't say so
lolok lad

I bet you can't cook for shit either man, you seem really insecure

...

I've had plenty of fuck ups but the couple that stand out right now are;

I discovered I really love nutmeg, so I start trying to put nutmeg in basically everything until i went a little overboard in my slow cooker full of some Indian curry I was making and the entire lot had to be thrown out.

I've burnt bolognese sauce because i wasn't paying attention and decided to use it anyway in my lasagne because I didn't want to redo it, about 3 mouthfuls in to the final product I couldn't stand the bitter burnt taste and decided to freeze it for desperate times... it's still in the freezer.

I wasn't able to travel to see the family one year for christmas so I decided to make myself a roast dinner so that it still felt like christmas, i can't remember how but i fucked it up badly and was really depressed over that one.

First chili I made, I tossed in 4 whole habaneros + jalapenoes and spices. I tried to man up and eat a bowl of it, but I needed an ice cube in between each bite. Threw the rest in the trash.

I forgot to put sugar in my flan once, oh and I broke an egg yolk when flipping my over easy egg! I'm I the only one that gets super pissed when I break a yolk. I'm pissed just thinking about it!

I tried to make a simple egg drop soup in college but didn't have enough bouillon for the broth so it was essentially just Hot Egg Water

I was drunk and having a vicious argument with a woman I loved very much over text

The first time I made chili I put way too much water into it and didn't let it simmer long enough so it turned into more of an anemic mince beef soup than a chili.

Because I want to learn how to cook. This board isn't as useful as other resources but it's decent for getting ideas and finding some stuff. No.

I tried making ketchup once with triple concentrated tomato paste. It was inedible.
If we broaden the spectrum and consider putting stuff on bread cooking then I've successfully created the smoked salmon marzipan croissant and blood sausage chocolate croissant sandwiches. Because I was too lazy to get up from the table to fetch rye bread. Either were still less disgusting than the ketchup.

We I was still learning to cook I thought that dredging my stew meat in corn starch would be fine since I didn't have any flour handy. Ended up with a solid mass is disappointment in my slow cooker.

I made a potato and brocolli soup once when I was ill and my fridge was empty. It was awful. Just bland and it did not work at all. Not a very exciting story but probably once of the worst things I've made. Also a batch of lasagne but that was because the mince was such crap quality rather than any technical errors.

BBQ chicken pizza. Nowhere near worth the hype.

Nigger, it sounds like you didn't season your soup enough. Potato/broccoli soup is amazing.

Forgot to check if some chicken had gone off

One stir fry later, I had learnt my lesson

Yeah but that shit is hard to get just right. I prefer it without cheese.