How much of a narcissist should one be on their resume/CV?

How much of a narcissist should one be on their resume/CV?

trick question, you shouldn't have a resume or CV

Ah right, this is Veeky Forums, home of the NEETs and memecoiners.

Quite a bit. Put in generic qualities and traits that you either don't have to prove you have, or that everyone haves. You can even lie a little on what your skills truly are, but be aware that if you're ever requested to do something, you'll need to learn it very, very quickly. But I expect you as an user and not a normie can do so.

Good luck wagecucking, and remember to put your disposable income all in on LINK.

As much as your qualifications allow. I sprinkle it in mine with little bits of humor here and there, but you wouldn't read it and think, "This guy is a tool."

There is a fine line fampai

Don't be cocky, but be confident and explain/capitalize on things that puts you in a position to execute duties and tasks mentioned in the job description. Don't sound cocky; sound competent.

>that you either don't have to prove you have
Addendum: qualities that are related to a work environment. eg

>"I am a highly efficient professional"

You can't objectively prove that.

I wanna fake it as a system admin... But I suppose I'll have to learn some linux bash, windows powershell and subnetting before.

You can't *quite* fake that. As a IT professional myself I can tell you need to really get a grasp of how things work and be ready to be shat upon if anything goes wrong - which it can go easily if you don't understand what're you doing.

You could fake it if you were looking for some generic job, stuff that any brainlet can do like basic spreadsheeting, writing some Word documents or doing stuff that a 10 seconds Google search could teach you. That's literally how I got a job as an online marketing trainee, and was later hired as an IT supervisor.

Treat it like a first date - lie continually

If it's a small system with only one or two IT employees you can easily just fake it when you inherit the system the old IT left behind which will be sustainable for atleast a couple of months.

Well, I'm not a complete brainlet on systems administration. I just need to learn some specific stuff neccessary for the job though.

IT supervisor, that seems easy too.
I'm considering about junior marketing applications to be honest, since that knowledge could also help me in the future for online businesses.

I need to learn about subnetting, how to maintain a network, etc, just before doing it. I mean, I've always solved lots or IT shit at home, it's not like I'm completely new to this, but I've never touched servers or piles of switches with a hundred CAT6 ethernet cables.

DONT FUCKING MENTION CARVERTICAL EVER YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!! I DONT WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT EVER AGAIN

>IT supervisor, that seems easy too.
Well when I was in the digital marketing area it was a lot of hard work; creating content and images, monitoring a couple social networks (which I deep dislike but w/e) and such.

I'm not afraid of hard work so although 2017 was a rough year for me... now as an IT Supervisor, I'm glad I can be sincere on an anonymous chinese basket weaving imageboard: I literally work at home and do nothing. I only really have to go to office (which is like half a mile from home) when something goes wrong or when there's a meeting. I'm building the new company website as a hobby atm, gotta sharp those PHP and Javascript skills.

I see you have some experience in IT, well that makes things a little easier. As a compsci undergrad I hardly ever use the advanced stuff I learn at college, so if you're smart enough you *may* get things right as a sysadmin.

Depends on the infrastructure. If it's all wintel you won't really need to know subnetting, you'll just have servers on one VLAN and workstations on the other. If u have some basic pattern recognition skills and know the difference between a windows server and windows workstation when you're remoted in you'll be fine. If you're lucky you won't even have to manage DHCP tables when u are asked to add a new node to the network, you'll just have a bunch of prefab scripts to run which do all the config for you. Not a bad idea to learn powershell though. Learning Linux will be a lot more tedious so just pray they're heavy on M$. Anyway I've seen some horribly misconfigured networks that mostly still run fine so you'll have a good few months of reading stack overflow, not sleeping and wanting to kill yourself before it becomes a real problem

> t. 5 years (and counting) of faking it and now I write software for the company lol

you have ascended into a new level of faking, senpai

I still shake my head in disbelief sometimes and worry that I'll get caught eventually but I'm honestly pretty candid and modest about my skills. I'm also nice to our clients too which is honestly all the company *really* cares about, they just wanna get those contracts renewed.

I've seen people with 10x my skill get fired because they offset it too much with their toxic personalities

Nice desu.

So I should take a look into windows server and then at remote working, right?
Then I should look into DHCP tables, and also scripting.

I already know the basics of programming and some stuff. I mean, I started a programming apprenticeship years ago, did mostly C# though. What I want to convey, once again, is that I'm not completely blank in these subjects. I've also done some VMWare, know how operative systems work, etc, etc. But I'll need to take a look again at windows administration privileges and security users cause I don't remember how to configure that stuff.

Should I just do a CISCO course?

How did you learn most of what you needed, through stack overflow? And what was your knowledge prior to faking it?
I currently work in hospitality and it fucking sucks. My only other option right now is getting into customer advising, which pays like shit too, or trying to fake it at a junior marketing position.

I prefer IT systems way more since it's something I'm familiar with and that I could mildly enjoy, plus it paying higher.

I kinda regret having quit both the Sys. Admin 2year education I was doing years ago and also the multiplatform 3year education I started too... lmao. But I was a NEET back then, I'm learning my lesson now.

Are you an IT helpdesk, then? Since you're talking about 'clients'.

IT helpdesk is one of the services the company offers but generally the helpdesk is there to support the underlying infrastructure which we have also built, or inherited from a prior contractor. And we do a lot of in-house software development and customization. Security operations too. One of the cool things about the company is that there are heaps of different career path options, depending on what you're into.

My experience in computers was a half finished computer science degree which I didn't even put on my resume. I dropped out because the maths was too hard, and honestly I wasn't too good at the lower level computing stuff either, I just wasn't really interested in it at the time.

I think it's pretty common for most people new to the industry to get their start doing helpdesk and then grind out some certs or cool projects in your spare time. It's probably not the same for all companies but the more agile ones out there will appreciate and (ideally) reward initiative.

Cisco ccna would be a good cert to have, but depending on the size of the company and their impression of you, you might still end up on helpdesk. Not the end of the world, unless you choose for it to be

I guess what I'm trying to get at in a roundabout way is that if you don't really have much in the way of experience, just take the helpdesk job and show that you have skills by adding real value to the company without being asked. If you can write a small script to make some aspect of help desk easier for you (or even better, everyone), this will not go unnoticed. It can literally be anything. If you can automate some small bullshit task that saves everyone on your team 10 minutes per day you will quickly become the golden boy because most of your colleagues will just clock in and out for their weekly paycheck and not add anything else to the company

depends on the company and the role you're applying for.
you do have multiple versions of your resume/cv anyway right?

Noice. Maybe I'll try to get an IT helpdesk pos to begin with then.

What languages are the most used for system admin scripting?
Python, I suppose?
Should I get into Ruby too?

It's really not a bad place to start. Good luck user

Not entirely wrong, a CV doesn't hold any actual emotion or ambition and that's where you're hired on.

In my experience, powershell. dotNet/C# are useful too, but powershell is fine

Python is good to know. The tools I built using python got me noticed. Pretty easy to pick up too.

You don't really need to fuck with Ruby, that only has niche value in our environments

Claim you can program in 30 languages and you speak in 20. when ask to say or write something just make up some noises and symbols. Claim you know all kinds of shit. Whatever the other applicants can you can do it better. Fake it till you make it. install a monero miner before you get fired and repeat that shit with the next company. at some point you will be placed in some office of some huge company where noone knows you or what you are doing. once they have lost track of people like you you can play computer games all day provided you appear at work at all.