Friendly reminder that Guy Fieri is destined to become a tyrant-king of humankind and commit genocide on a scale never...

Friendly reminder that Guy Fieri is destined to become a tyrant-king of humankind and commit genocide on a scale never before seen.

Therefore we should discuss his restaurants and frozen food as to appease his fury.

Other urls found in this thread:

m.youtube.com/watch?v=LZ1ZnScr45Q
m.youtube.com/watch?v=I_l7xVuMPP4
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

He's the mayor of flavour town so who cares.

I hear he makes a mean grubsauce.

Can't wait

>Guy Fieri is destined to become

Does he even still have a career aside from his few mediocre restaurants?

he's the face of the food network. the guy has a collection of american muscle cars and ferraris, and gets to travel the country sampling local favorite restaurants. I think he's probably doing better than any of us, career wise.

>he's probably doing better than any of us

all hail our triumphant godking

I swear an oath to flavortown, I will help lead the untermensch into the euthanization chambers in the game of Guy Fieri

He's okay when he's not trying too hard to be funny/wacky/entertaining.

I was watching one episode of Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives in which he was eating an apple pie made with grapes. I think it was an upscale place, so he tried to give a comment that would fit that wasn't "slam jam that ham senpai thank you ma'am my favorite band is wham!".

He said he enjoyed the "effervescence" of the grapes in an apple pie, and the guy who made it was just like "okay."

And in another episode he took a huge bite of a chicken sandwich for the camera, made in another upscale place. The guy who made the sandwich actually recoiled at the sight of this, and you could tell he wasn't happy.

I felt bad because earlier Guy said something that actually made me chuckle. It makes me wonder if he knows he acts like a tool most of the time, and feels bad about it.

Like, a lot of comedians have severe depression and they use their comedy as a way to cope. Maybe Guy Fieri goes home and gets drunk after an episode, begging for someone to help him. He wants to provide for his family and he's doing a good job of that but it's destroying his soul, like hair dye and excessive tanning is destroying his hair and skin.

literally who?

guy fieri. hes famous in america.

nah he's not depressed. he's just very "southern california white guy."

I hated him until I came to Veeky Forums, now I think he's hilarious

"Everybody’s been asking me, ‘What on earth are you going to say at Bourdain’s roast? He’s been shit-talking your name everywhere.’ And I’ve been saying, ‘Don’t you worry about me. I won’t touch him with a 10-pole, because smack-talking Bourdain would be like hitting a piñata full of shit.’ Real messy. I want everyone to understand that I’m going to be the bigger man. I’m going to take the high road. I wouldn’t dare come up here and call Anthony Bourdain any of these things that people have called him: No-good, loud mouth, jerkoff, wannabe authority, pseudo rebel, nerd, shit-talking, blow hard, celebrity-seeking, Eric-Ripert coattail, Mario Batali ass-kissing hate monger … Jose Canseco of the food world, snaggle tooth, Lurch-looking motherfucker. No, I’m here to take the high road.
"Anthony, I gotta ask a question, why do you hate me so much brother? … Is it because you went to a fancy culinary school and I didn’t? I hear you’re the only one in class who did most of his cooking with a spoon and a Bic lighter." — Guy Fieri

Basically, guy fieris douchebag appearance was designed so he could win next food network star, which he did. If playing a character like that would get you a lucrative career, wouldn't you do that? Prior to that he was a relatively successful restauranteur, which is not an easy task--he started Johnny Garlic's with very little startup capital (I think 100k?) and ended up turning it into a chain. The dude's got hustle, and if the world respects terminally uncool hustlers why can't they respect guy fieri?

Now take his show: a lot of food network shows focus around places that aren't necessarily accessible to your common man. Instead of focusing on exotic locales or high end gourmet places, guy focuses on American food that's within the reach of Americans.

I ran the numbers too. DDD is food network's top rated show among most of (what I can guess are) their key demos. People say they want smart cooking shows but surprise surprise people are full of shit.

His follow up show guys grocery games is about getting families to cook together using ingredients that are accessible to your average American consumer. How can you hate on that?

His restaurants aren't necessarily terrible in concept. He takes clasic American food and gives it a spin and a schticky name. Conceptually (the suff he does) it's actually a cool concept--exposing middle America to maybe new flavors they wouldn't otherwise experience The mediocre review was more about the shitty logistical failures of the staff, but how much of that is guy's fault really?

Lastly, he's an Oakland Raiders fan which is awe some

he's been the same guy since before "food network star." what you see on tv is a less vulgar, more family friendly version of who he is in real life. check out his interview with gq, he talks about how he leaves a motorcycle helmet in his pet african tortoise's pen so it can fuck it and he feeds it a steamy shit, that the tortoise loves it like its foie gras.

he has several more shows than just triple d and triple g. he has a standard cooking show where he shows recipes and one like that with his son which they film at his house. he also does a cooking show with a studio audience and some other competition show. he also does live stage shows.

the appearance and attitude are pretty much the way he really is, it's not any more of an act than any of the other celebrity chefs.

I now have infinitely more respect for him

before he was famous:

m.youtube.com/watch?v=LZ1ZnScr45Q

m.youtube.com/watch?v=I_l7xVuMPP4

gonna need a source on that but lol

the anthony bourdain roast...
are you really that dumb or did you just not read it?