How can I be an alcoholic/ coke addict without gaining weight or getting bloated face? i'm serious

How can I be an alcoholic/ coke addict without gaining weight or getting bloated face? i'm serious

Diet coke has fewer calories so that might help

take it rectally?

Huh?

Drink hard liquor instead of beer.
Coke isn't addictive.

>Coke isn't addictive.
kek what are you on about

>Drink hard liquor instead of beer.

I've tried this....but as an alcoholic who can't run/workout anyore; i drink 750ml of whiske a day; thats almost 2000 calories

Give up on life senpai and get fat, otherwise lift hard. May help you overcome your alcohol addiction.
I struggle with caloric intake just drinking one beer a day. I pay close attention most days to my 2000 calorie limit, but miss it often. haven't actually lost weight for 2 years, remained 200lbs at 6'1 for that period.

Take Adderall during the day to curb your appetite. Don't drink until nighttime when you're doing coke. The alcohol has tons of calories, but the uppers will otherwise curb your appetite.

Causes face bloat more. I'm an alcoholic and my face is constantly bloated. It returns to normal if I can go a week or so without drinking but that's hard as fuck.

Taking alcohol rectally bypasses your body's filtration systems so it takes much less to get you drunk.

less alcohol = less calories.

>don't give yourself alcohol poisoning.

vodka

Because you're still a child. Wait til your 30.

wat

Just adjust your calorie intake. I drink around 1200 calories a day in alcoholic beverages so I try to only eat 800-1000 in food. It's not as hard as it sounds and eating a little less actually allows you to get buzzed with less alcohol.

You heard!

Fact

I feel like shit most of the time now though.

not an hardcore alcoholic but I do have a "good" diet (lots of fruit and other healthy meals) plus loads of exercise in order to stop the calorie intake of >1L beer per night.

Try to get yourself off of alcohol, up your coke intake and if you really need subsitute with pills, you'll get super skinny and hot

Don't forget down the road to start injecting everything. It hits you much quicker meaning you won't need to eat as often. You will be a walking skeleton in now time senpai

I usually fap once for each beer/ tail. Usually burn 75 calories per hand party

People have died from spirit based enemas. Be careful

Rly? I don't know anyone who died but I did have a friend become haunted after one of those...

Start making your own spirits.
When I started distilling my own stuff I dropped 30lbs just because I wasn't drinking beer anymore.
You'll also notice that the hangovers aren't a fraction of what they were on beer/shop spirits.

>become haunted from liquor enema
Story pls.

Wait how the fuck do you take alcohol rectally do you just stick the bottle up your ass and do a handstand?

nice reading comprehension moron

He didn't just use any spirit he used a demonic one

You're going to have to live with bloat face because of hosed liver and organs; drink excessively to obliterate vanity

Coke is for fags

For alcohol, drink whiskey on the rocks. For coke, shoot yourself, you burnout piece of shit.

...

...

Actually, yes, you literally do that

starve