Just came across this guy: Alton Brown

No you didn't

oh, thanks for that, dick.
I wore heelys to class every day in college and i still guarantee i got more pussy than you.

>I did fuck her
yeah right

not sure why he's a meme here. I still watch good eats as background noise when I eat. it's comfy.

you're right guys. I'm totally lying. Ive never had sex before. It took me so much courage to stop hovering my hand for that pic.

Why are you trying for the Weird Al look?

its an unforseen consequence of having jewish ancestors. Honestly, if I saw myself and somebody told me that guy actually gets laid i wouldnt believe it either. This was like 10 fucking years ago when i was in college and girls actually thought I had potential to not be a failure.

I love Alton Brown. I grew up watching Good Eats at dinner every night so I have seen pretty much every episode and it taught me a lot about the science of cooking and I think developed the love of cooking that I have today. If you are interested he also made a podcast for a short while called the Alton Browncast as well as was the host for Iron Chef America.

>he's jewish
>a virgin jewish
Just kill yourself senpai.

Blacks are not allowed in the internet, fuck off.

I've only used his recipes online, and this is the first time I've ever seen his picture. For some reason, I thought he was black.

She digs the "Carrot Top with poor vision" look huh?

He's the Bill Nye of cooking

Summer Lovin'

...

WOOOOW SO FUNNEH XDDD BEST COOK EVA XDDD

She went for me because I'm spontaneous and fun, and at the time I had a fresh inheritance from my rich grandpa. Nice car, nice clothes, lived in a big house on the river, about to graduate college. Randomly scooping her up for a drive across the country to meet alton brown is a good way to bag a food science chick. You dont have to be good looking to get girls.

Granted, nowadays there is no way she'd fuck me. She wont even friend me on facebook anymore, but the city i grew up in the girls have WAY low standards. Like all your teeth and a job will get you prime pussy where Im from

BTFO

>I got more pussy than you

>this much damage control and self consciousness
>not just disappearing when you were outed as autistic virgin poster child

wonder what kind of gun you'll use

Tampon stew recipe?

>at least you tried
I wasn't going to say shit or even reply to any posts until jackass decides to post my face. We could have just had a nice thread about alton brown but instead im getting blasted by butthurt virgins who think you have to be chad to get girls

...

ya right.. Bill bye is an actual scientist and brown is just a shit actor

Watched the link.

8.5/10
Bretty good.

Used to watch him when I was younger. I like him

I like him!

>For some reason, I thought he was black.

It's the last name, isn't it?

Just a guy who's gotten lucky enough to ascend food personality hierarchy at the Food Network. He's a decent vessel for what their trying to show or teach, but he doesn't have any real food or science background.

If I was ever on Cutthroat Kitchen and the show wasn't alarmingly fake, I feel like I'd talk shit to him about Good Eats and Iron Chef America.

alton is basically the bill nye of food.

hes got a charming personality that makes learning fun.

I'd say at this point, he has a pretty solid "food background." Listening to him do off the cuff interviews and answering questions on the spot, he seems to know and understand more about food than any average chef.

...

>No hover hand
I'm proud of you, son

I think he's an act without actual interest in cooking
I think he has his team do all his research and type it up so he can read it to the camera
I think his show is okay for kids, the same way Bill Nye is. The skits are dumb and the humor is cringey.
I also bet he makes out with other men but is afraid to go further.

Bill Nye is not an actual scientist.

I watched some show of his on the Food Network for the first time in my life, and witnessed some bizarre spectacle of retarded tattooed Millennial wannabe foodies flailing around in some breathtakingly stupid rap competition trying to make food.

Are you stunted Mongoloids the enablers of this type of entertainment?

Seeing this shit, I want to see ISIS put a sword the necks of you appalling faggots.

Fuck off neck beard alton brown is informative and great. Just a great man.

Suck on a bag of donkey digs.

>Just came across this guy: Alton Brown
W-welcome to Veeky Forums.

I don't like this guy and never gave Good Eats much of a chance.

They stuff he does now on the Food Network is abysmal. Cutthroat Kitchen is on of the worst shows on TV, I have no idea who watches it and how it wasn't cancelled.

>Just came across this guy: Alton Brown
I knew someone would have eventually. He's so deep in the closet, he's been bummed by Mr. Tumnus. Hyper-Christians always are.

His cookie recipe ("the thin") is the best I've ever made.

Costco, user. Shit's great. You buy all your food in bulk.

his presentatin is maybe interesting to middle schoolers, but i dont care for it

>Watch Good Eats on Netflix
>Watch a little bit of Iron Chef
>Never watch normal TV
>At In-laws house
>Put on TV, find Alton Brown's cook show
>Cutthroat Kitchen
>Turn on to find a man in a violently rocking speedboat holding a 35lb music system on his shoulder trying to shallow-fry a fish
>Wtf am I watching?

cut throat kitchen is shitty 'action' cooking to pander to people with a lack of attention span. good eats is what he's known for.

>This is what the once proud Anton Brown presents.

>Why don't we make the reasonably competent chef balance a giant fucking bowl of cereal on his head while cooking?
>Brilliant

Oh my Costco doesn't have a wine section unfortunately.

Grats on the best image related that there has ever been.

He's ok but the schtick gets old.

While he does cover some real technique and food science, I think it's best watched more for entertainment value. A lot of his improvised kitchen gadgets while neat arn't overly practical.

How'd you do that

did you kill Bart yet or are you still after him?

>my Costco doesn't have a wine section

U T A H
T
A
H

People like this are why I'm paranoid when walking alone at night

RIP

dont worry internet trolls stay inside and avoid irl confrontation.

Millennials deserve to be put to death.

"Always cross the street when a nigger is walking towards you at night."

Wise words

>implying it isnt the same old fucks at food network that came up with chopped and saw that was making more money than anything else

...

top fucking kek

heeheh

Good Eats is the thing worth talking about with this guy. I have to say that it is a good show-- spans a lot of topics with fairly deep analysis. Unfortunately, Alton bombards you with the science, makes you watch gruesomely awkward skits, and is overall way too opinionated.

You think this show was developed and designed by millenials? C'mon kot, don't be naive.

>What do you think about him?

never heard of him. looks like a faggot with that parsley in his pocket.

>What do you think about him?
Most people enjoyed Alton until Alton 2.0 personality change.
He got weird around the last half of that season he dropped a lot of weight, and rumors flew about cancer, AIDS or something like that. Then, in answer to that, he did an episode where he took pieces of modern nutritional science and come up with this ODD DIET where he extolled the virtues of canned fish and other crap contrary to taste.

Then, he started wearing bow ties, tweed and some other clothing (and accent) he stole from William F. Buckley Jr, and narrated a few "reality show' level productions and got away from the self-produced funky camera angle stuff that excited 50% of his fanbase (film and production geeks, if not apple geeks). Anyway, he changed. He almost seems like someone that had quadruple bypass. Dave Letterman got weirder around that time too, starting kind of badmouthing guests right to their face and devil-may-care attitude. I think Alton might even be closeted. He just got weird and pretentious. Don't get me wrong, I like a good expert and don't at all consider that pretention, but sudden Project Runway fashion sense and funky round frame horn rims? Doesn't fit a straight married protestant southerner who cooks like the practical tropical shirts did.

>alton
>married
He's divorced. Likely because he has AIDS from being fag. Motherfucker closeted as all fuck. He sat the Pevensies, for fuck's sake, and had tea with the witch queen.

Ahh, I didn't know about the divorce, but you could detect a shithead kind of attitude from him in the past few years. I guess my gaydar was right.

Bobby Flay always had that rude attitude. Do you remember Flays early shows? When he was rude to Jack McDavid in the grillin' show, or how he had to have a buffer to interact with people, in comedienne Jacqui Malouf, who soothed his harsh answers to questions or simply translated them for his thick rude misunderstandings in Hot off the Grill, as he cooked in a kitchen with couch-seated "guests" like at his house? Ohhh, it was painful. His divorce makes sense (plus he's a cheater).

>closeted

>closeted
From wiki:

Brown said in a December 2014 interview in Time that he "could no longer abide the Southern Baptist Convention's indoctrination of children and its anti-gay stance" adding that he's now "searching for a new belief system."

>now "searching for a new belief system."

I always wondered about this sort of behavior. If you realize that your current religion (or whatever else you want to call a "belief system) is broken, then why does it have to be replaced by something else? Can't one just let it go without having to find a new one?

Believing in nothing is in itself a system of belief.

Some people enjoy the sense of community and ritual of organized religion but might disagree about certain points. Usually it's moving from one Christian denomination to another.

I knew about his divorce but not that he had left the church. Very interesting considering he was always very much a southern boy - him liking guns and christian values was one of the reasons Veeky Forums was always so butthurt about him

I dunno, I don't get a gay vibe from him. Could simply be a midlife crisis.

I remember his live and let diet episode. IDK, aside from having a smoothie for a meal I didn't think it was that bad. tinned fish IS healthy. if you can find a good brand that doesn't taste like ass it makes a great healthy protien. i've always been fascinated with the idea of eating tiny fish whole like little frenchfries though.

People who believe will always believe just as people who don't never will. It's completely pointless for believers and nonbelievers to ever discuss belief with one another in hopes of converting or convincing one the other is right.

If a believer lapses in his or her faith, they will generally either gloss over it or find new faith. They never give up on belief. It just doesn't happen.

Look at Tom Cruise. He was a very, very devout Catholic, but had a lapse for whatever reason. He even entered seminary (knowing the closeted homo, it was probably more like semenary) and aspired to be a priest. Now, he's the mouthpiece for Scientology with just as much fervor now as he had for Catholicism then.

>this is what believers actually believe
And having nothing is having something after all, too!

I disagree. There's a difference between:
"I don't have a belief system"
and
"I believe there is nothing out there"

It's the difference between atheism and agnosticism.

>Look at Tom Cruise

Why? Given how much money Scientology is likely paying him to be their famous celeb spokesperson calls into question whether or not he actually believes it, or if he's just doing it for the money.

I've been binging the hell out of Good Eats. Aside from his big gimmick episodes like the ones about butter and meat pies, they're fun to watch.

Fuck Cutthroat Kitchen though. That shit is just retarded as hell.

Feasting on Asphault and Feasting on Waves were also decent travel food mini-series. But yeah, all his reality cooking stuff is just shit. But I blame that more on Cooking Network, since Brown doesn't write these shows, just mouthpieces for them.

He also had a live show for a little while that travelled around, it was basically food science fun for adults.

Yeah it means you have nothing to lose :P

Freedoms just another word for nothing left to lose.

>more like semenary

'tology ain't payin' him jackmotherfuckinshit, nigger.

If anything, he's paying them, cuz that's how the whole thing works.

>I was a rich virgin jewfro neckbeard in college
>Met this girl who said she's studying food science
>So I grabbed this chick and told her "hey we're driving halfway across the country in my Audi to meet Alton Brown at a Costco"
>She took one look at my Old Navy brand t-shirt and got so wet the president declared her pussy a category 3 hurricane
>I got so much road head on the drive across the country my cock smelled like pink lip gloss for a week
>Met Alton Brown and we double teamed her in the Costco parking lot
>Dumped that bitch, me and Big Brown went cruising for pussy in Vegas that night
>Years later she won't talk to me
>Joke's on her I have all my teeth still