Foods that destroy you but you can't stop eating them

Foods that destroy you but you can't stop eating them.

For me it's beef stroganoff. It gives me crippling diarrhea but it's so good. Hamburger Helper stroganoff especially blows out my butthole.

HH is doing that because of the insane amount of sodium.

Make a legit stroganoff and it won't do that to you.

Unless you're lactose intolerant, in which case yah, tough luck.

Just make real stroganoff, it's not hard and won't be as nasty.

i really like stuff like brussel sprouts, broccoli, chickpeas...

:,( room clearing all the time

Carbonara.

Buffalo wings
McDonald's breakfast
They both always seem like good ideas. An hour after, I remember that they're not

>coworker brings in some cheese enchiladas
>gobble down two with some beans and rice with cheese on top
>guilty.jpg
>go to the bathroom and begin to drop a log
>it starts out with good speed and a firm body
>it's humid today and I'm having a bad ass hair day.
>my ass hair seems especially tangled and I feel like I'm shitting through a net
>can tell this poop is extremely long and becoming a bit soft, the recipe for disaster.
>try really hard not to let my asshole clench too early and get the poo all over my butt
>finally the last of the log drops
>I feel a bit scrape my ass, but it doesn't seem to bad. (boy was I wrong)
>I begin to wipe my ass and immediately notice the toilet paper is stuck in my shitty ass
>ohfuckthisisgoingtobeamess.png
>have to get more toilet paper to pick the paper and shit out, it's so dense with poo I have to pick the remaining turd out
>shitty paper falls on the seat and hangs
>keep grabbing more toilet paper and scraping my hairy ass, seemingly making it worse and worse
>grab the wet wipes and really go to town
>while wiping notice I get some shit on my hand
>goddamnit.bat
>continue to wipe for another 10 minutes
I got my butt as clean as I can but it is still pretty shitty in there, probably lots of dingleberries too. I can't wait to get home and take a shower.
I think I need more fiber in my diet.

Would you please describe, separately, how fat, ocd, and retarded you are on a scale of 1 to 10?

I took my grandma's enchiladas and spiced and overloaded the shit out of them. Black olives, green chilis, hot enchilada sauce, the works. It destroys my asshole later that night but it's so worth it.

This, I've been skinny for 9 years and carbonara is making me fat

I've never seen wet wipes in a work bathroom, so this is probably made up like everything else on the internet.

I can't go a week without eating buffalo wings. I normally get fucking hammered when I eat them so the combination makes me sick as hell and then I get pissed for vomiting away $20 of wings. Eating them regularly doesn't really mess with me, but what's the point if you're not also chugging whiskey alongside them?

I had a fish taco platter last week that would probably qualify for ass destroying.

>eat at mr. salsa's fancy fajita shop
>reluctantly order a festive fiesta fish taco platter
>tastes excellent so gobble it all down
>driving back
>stomach starts to rumble as my fish tacos digests
>sweating-begins.sh
>stomach starts to feel pressure, I rock in the car seat a bit to get comfortable
>BBRRAAAPPPPPP a fart lets out
>roll down the window so it doesn't stink so bad
>driving double the speed limit
>make hektic skidz through each turn
>yank the wheel toward my parking spot
>the shift in my bodyweight causes my asshole to let go a little
>a fart lets out, it feels wet
>very wet
>run for the stairs holding my asshole shut
>lift my leg for the first step and my stomach twitches
>asshole starts spewing shit into my pants
>run up the stairs while the poop keeps flowing out
>burst into the bathroom and rip down my pants
>explode into the unsuspecting toilet a fiestive fiesta platter of shit
>my colon spasms as each new wet pocket of shit blasts out of my asshole and through my furry asshair
>I look down and notice all the poop in my pants and underwear from the stairway accident
>my asshole putters and I begin a long cleanup.
Good thing I keep another pair of pants at the office. That pair was ruined.

Standard

How many pairs of underwear and pants do you go through a week?

Better question: How often do you have crippling diarrhea?

>Would you please describe, separately,
>how fat, ocd, and retarded you are on a scale of 1 to 10?

>fat
bmi is 21, so 2?

>ocd
5-6

> retarded
does autism count?

>I've never seen wet wipes in a work bathroom, so this is probably made up like everything else on the internet
I keep wet wipes at my desk because my asshole is so hairy basically have to use them. So I take them with me every time I have to shit.

I tried shaving my asshole and butt once but the stubble that grew back made it feel like there was sandpaper on my asshole, the pain was unimaginable.

I haven't tried Nair like the big brother article but simply don't have the guts to try.

>How many pairs of underwear and pants do you go through a week?
Depends. And by Depends I mean, I finally bought some.

>Better question: How often do you have crippling diarrhea?
Too often.

>ITT: IBS

bmi of 21 is middle of pack, so 5. (and no, no one believes you have a bmi of 21 to begin with)

your ocd is clearly higher than a fucking 6 - you keep wet wipes at your desk.

and you are a 10 on the retarded scale my friend.

>your ocd is clearly higher than a fucking 6 - you keep wet wipes at your desk.
You seem to have missed my issue with a very hairy asshole. It's like shitting through a net. That's why the wet wipes.

>Immediately shitting what you just ate.
>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Bad ass hair day made me giggle, though.

This. It takes at least two hours two digest what you ate, especially in the case of the shit-food described ITT. You're probably shitting last nights Dorilocos or this morning's McMuffin and triplebutter shake with sprinkles or whatever the fuck you people eat.

>sit on toilet
>browse Veeky Forums for 5-10 minutes
>stand up
>wipe
I don't even think about my shits. I guess I'm lucky huh

I do. Just sometimes I feel lazy. Probably is the lactose because I eat cheese like it's going out of style (just bought 2 lbs and snacking on it as we speak) but that's just constipation and not diarrhea like the stroganoff's sauce gives me. Don't bother me none, though.

You've seriously never gotten sick quickly after eating? I feel this pressure in my stomach, and then disaster strikes. I've had some cases of the problem happening within an hour.

Yeah, that's awesome. I had a pretty clean shit today, just a few wipes. But those are rare.

I try to shit at home where I have a bidet and shower.

Only twice in my life. It's was dirty or really bad quality food. But both those places are notorious in town for being incredibly unhygienic but people go there because alcohol.

What I'm saying is that unless you have a condition or you're eating food that is outrageously spicy or heavy then this is not normal. The food was probably dirty as fuck.

I have felt sick right away, but I didn't shit that food out right away, as that can't happen. It is common for your most recent meal to push things along, but you aren't pooping out what you just ate. You are pooping out whatever garbage you ate 1-3 meals ago.

sure. it isn't what you just ate getting shitted out, but whatever you just ate is what caused the shit explosion

Anything from my local Tex-mex restaurant.

The good is great, but I always have raging shits and, even worse, frequent farts that could wipe out a small population the day after.

Same with me for sushi, it's my favorite food actually

Milk

What you need is a shave and/or a bidet.

or have ibs/chrons