ITT: books you'll never read

ITT: books you'll never read

It's not that difficult and is the epitome of a comfy read.

Ill probably never read a Joseph McElroy novel

Infinite Jest tbqhwy

The man without qualities

Tom Clancy's The Division: New York Collapse

Stephen King's It.

Anything by Hemingway.

...

...

yup. I keep digging up random episode from WP for some sort of psychological divination and it always works like cream; like a self-contained short story. Last time time I did it, it was about a mother trying to talk her daughter from divorce by bringing up the arguments she heard earlier from an Orthodox priest. Or, on another occasion, it was the inner life of some scouts who had suddenly discovered enemy troop movements. And then he talked about information, blame, praise and responsibility travelling up and down the chain of command.
You can pick out any paragraph and it always something interesting.

are you a girl?

Infinite Jest, Ulysses

my diary desu

no, just not a pleb

You should read The Old Man and the Sea, it's very good.

i read it, it makes john green look like tolstoy.

At least read The Short Happy Life of Francis Macomber. It'll only take like half an hour.

That bad, huh? I felt the same way reading The Sun Also Rises but I enjoyed The Old Man a lot. Is it the writing style that you dislike?

I will never read anything by Shakespeare. I do not have time to learn Old English or glance down at the bottom of the page every thirty seconds to figure out what the hell he's trying to say. Plus, if you read the history, Shakespeare is revered today only because of English cultural imperialism. The fact that he's considered the greatest writer of all time is a testament not to his actual skill but to the skills of the English in shoving their cultural products down everybody's throats. I'll also never read The Bible because I'm an atheist.

unironically this

>I'll also never read The Bible because I'm an atheist.
Really hoping this is bait.

retarded b8

actual retard

nerd shit like Hegel and Greek shit

What's the point of these b8 threads?

joke book

The fact that so many books still name the SHAKESPEARE as "the greatest or most significant or most influential" ENGLISH PLAYWRIGHT ever only tells you how far ENGLISH WRITING still is from becoming a serious art. POETRY critics have long recognized that the greatest POETS of all times are HOMER and ANONYMOUS, who were not the most famous or richest or best sellers of their times, let alone of all times. THEATRE critics rank the highly controversial CHRISTOPHER MARLOWE over classical musicians who were highly popular in courts around Europe. WRITING critics are still blinded by commercial success. SHAKESPEARE sold more than anyone else (not true, by the way), therefore they must have been the greatest. POETRY critics grow up READING to a lot of POETRY of the past, THEATRE critics grow up READING to a lot of PLAYS of the past. Rock critics are often totally ignorant of the WRITING music of the past, they barely know the best sellers. No wonder they will think that the SHAKESPEARE did anything worthy of being saved.

tl;dr
>Marlowe
Please stop dropping English names that aren't Shakespeare. This is an international board and we really couldn't give a flying fuck about your non-entities.

face it, uve been memed

>old english
Pasta scotta

Different user here. I liked the sun also rises. I think it shows how people don't change in spite of themselves. Hemmingway is engaging and simple.

What's WP?

the book that was responded to

To Kill a Mockingbird
In Cold Blood
Game of Thrones
Fahrenheit 451
1984
My Struggle
Oliver Twist
Infinite Jest

These are some of the books generally considered great that I have an aversion to -- a rather irrational one, that I can't explain fully even to myself. I haven't read any of them.

Oh... Sorry, how silly of me. I thought you were talking about a McElroy novel.

The movie did it no justice. Still, not King's best.

>Fahrenheit 451
>1984

Easy, short and great dystopian stories. Your loss.

>451
>Good dystopian
It is the most retarded and shitty book I ever had the displeasure to read. The entire fucking premise is "zomg, books make u smart!!1!1 if u dont read book u sheep1!!!

>The fact that he's considered the greatest writer of all time is a testament not to his actual skill but to the skills of the English in shoving their cultural products down everybody's throats
You admit yourself you have no idea what his "actual" skill is because you've never read him. It could be, for all you know, he really is the greatest writer who ever lived and the English were justified in glorifying him.

>To Kill a Mockingbird
Why?

First book I ever finished. Great read, my second favourite King book after Salem's Lot

If this is all you got from the book then there is no hope for you.

You should though

Ainsi que tout Balzac.

Infinite Jest
The French

L'horreur.
L'horreur.
Joli appât.

1984 is a must. Don't let Veeky Forums get into your head. The importance of this community's opinions is equal to zero. Most of the anons here haven't read shit and repeat what they hear like a broken record.
In Cold Blood is an excellent book by a great writer. Give it a chance.

>salems lot
my nigga

Les Misérables
Anything by Hegel

G8 b8 m8, I r8 8/8

Probably hunchback, anna karenina, pride and prejudice.

I try to avoid books that are read by even non readers.

The Aeneid. There's no way I'm reading that shit.

>I try to avoid books that are read by even non readers.

"user, what do you like to do?"
"I'm into reading,"
"Oh, I loved reading pride and prejudice,"
"I haven't actually read that,"
"What about The Hunchback of Notre-Dame?"
"nope,"
"I though you said you liked reading?"
"Yeah, but I only read books that readers read,"

>In Cold Blood is an excellent book by a great writer.

I was with you until here.

Ya I get that I couldn't talk with a girl about Veeky Forumserature she liked.

Before I go to sleep at night I go on sparknotes and try to remember every famous ballroom scene in Veeky Forumserature for uni class.

I read it every time I'm drunk. Pathetic, I know.

Most fiction. I read about 1 fiction book for every 4 Non-fiction.

Started reading Dublinners though. I fin Joyce a weird and hilarious man and as an Irishman myself, I figured I may well read some home-grown literature.

Most of it is filler, desu.

add the catcher in the rye and you basically have my list.

>To Kill a Mockingbird
>catcher in the rye
Is there even any point in reading these if you're not an american student?

Anything by Banana Yoshimoto or whatever her name is. I tried Amrita a couple of months ago and it was awful.

There is nothing wrong with being a contrarian hipster.

Agreed, I feel that its reputation has put into people's minds that it's this super depressing/high-minded thing with dense prose, but it couldn't be further from the truth.

I'd seriously recommend it to just about anyone who likes anime, because it really does feel like that.

Oh what succulent bate this is!

I just don't like Conrad's style.

Why not? Are you a simpleton?

Lolita

I don't like his prose at all, but I read this book once every year or two. It's a fantastic story, and short. I can't blame you for not loving it, but I'd say give it your time even just the once.

>guy goes on boat up a river in africa
>wow african natives doing primitive stuff so amazing!
Boringgggg. May as well watch an Indiana Jones movie.

>reading for plot
>reading for enjoyment

>reading

Cloud Atlas

Accidentally spoiled some of it for myself with the researching the film adaptation and why Haley Berry played an old guy in the film. I might change my mind someday. But for now, I'll put it off.

It's not a good book anyway.

Nice structure, SF tropes from the 70s, nothing new.

SF tropes from the 70s are cool

the fact that so many books name shakespeare as

I wholeheartedly agree with this
fucking brits

I really enjoyed in cold blood. I thought it was a really comfy read despite it being written by a faggot.

oh god

Actually beat you to it

Harry Potter

you know there isn't any singing in the book

My mom keeps telling me to read Salem's Lot, somehow don't seem to have a copy, even though she gave me all her King books years ago.

Literally kill yourself.

Also, anyone here know if the graphic novel adaptation of F451 is any good? I saw it a few years back, art looked nice, but didn't pick it up.

Infinite Jest and Gravity's Rainbow. And I'm apprehensive about devoting a lot of time to Ulysses.

This, 451 gave me cancer, it's the equivalent of reading autofellatio

Infinite Meme I can understand, but why the Pynchon?
Are you afraid of poop?
How do you shit at night?

i was very curious, i thought you meant pg 451 of op's book

Anything by James Joyce

She's only 12 at her youngest

I know it is a meme here but everyone should read it at least once.

I cant even fathom reading Dickens, I have so many, and they are probably good, but it just seems like boring london people do boring london things. Not that I read for plot, but I like nice imagery. Won't read Austen either, more because of what the other austenposter said, every woman I have seen reading anything remotely literary has been Austen.

I liked the Donald Duck comic book adaptation, if that counts...

A wonderful fact to reflect upon, that every human creature is constituted to be that profound secret and mystery to every other. A solemn consideration, when I enter a great city by night, that every one of those darkly clustered houses encloses its own secret; that every room in every one of them encloses its own secret; that every beating heart in the hundreds of thousands of breasts there, is, in some of its imaginings, a secret to the heart nearest it! Something of the awfulness, even of Death itself, is referable to this. No more can I turn the leaves of this dear book that I loved, and vainly hope in time to read it all. No more can I look into the depths of this unfathomable water, wherein, as momentary lights glanced into it, I have had glimpses of buried treasure and other things submerged. It was appointed that the book should shut with a a spring, for ever and for ever, when I had read but a page. It was appointed that the water should be locked in an eternal frost, when the light was playing on its surface, and I stood in ignorance on the shore. My friend is dead, my neighbour is dead, my love, the darling of my soul, is dead; it is the inexorable consolidation and perpetuation of the secret that was always in that individuality, and which I shall carry in mine to my life's end. In any of the burial-places of this city through which I pass, is there a sleeper more inscrutable than its busy inhabitants are, in their innermost personality, to me, or than I am to them?

>I'd seriously recommend it to just about anyone who likes anime, because it really does feel like that.
You've ruined it for me now. Fuck you for pointing this out.

Inexcusable.

This, War and Peace It´s a complex and interesting novel written in accesible prose. Very recommended.

Isn´t isabelian era language middle english? Also, shakespeare is a really nice read and the notes on certain old concepts are really simple and well explained, english is my second language and I can read its plays in a decent pace.

damn now i wanna pick it up and just read it like that and maybe start for real some day

In Cold Blood is really enjoyable.

Ulysses
Anti-Oedipus
The Phenomenology of Spirit

I don't have the patience, discipline, or intelligence to make my way through difficult books.

Repent you swine!