Veeky Forums...

Veeky Forums, please share with me some embarrassing encounters you've had with plebs on the subject of literature and reading.

Sometimes it's just nice to feel absolutely awful.

> reading Pynchon's V. on the train
> somebody tells me "good choice, I loved the TV show"
> have no idea what he's talking about
> get home later that day and google "V tv show"
> suffer from a delayed cringe seizure

> when I ask someone what their favourite book is
> "oh i can never find the time to read"
> implying reading a novella on a saturday afternoon is impossible
> implying reading 20 pages a day if working on a busy schedule is difficult
> implying you can't consume audiobooks for literature you're interested in if you're working at a desk job
> implying you can't just make time for reading on the supposedly rare days that you have to yourself

I work more hours than these guys and I've already read 15 books this year. I don't think "being unable to find the time" is a real excuse anymore.

Mandatory.

>single in 2005
>decide I want Veeky Forums qt
>go on about 10 dates with girls in college throughout the year
>Not one was reading anything besides the Da vinci Code or Harry Potter, or if they were really esoteric, Holy Blood, Holy Grail
>End up dating/marrying STEM girl

the TV show is much better than that book

>>tinder
>>match with a girl
>> everything is going fine
>> she says she failed 3 of her freshmen classes at community college
>> the topic of books come up
>> Oh I don't read user
>> why not? I ask
>> I get unmatched immediately afterward

Seriously?

Even if you hate Pynchon, you can't be serious. V was awful, Syfy channel-tier shit.

She knew that readers aren't good in bed user. To have a transcendental sexual experience one must be able to turn one's brain off and transform animalistic thrusting and fucking machine.

That's why retarded Chads will always get more Tinder bishes than you.

> not being a transcendental asexual who does not need to fulfil sexual desire because your focus in existing is to succeed
> not wanting to be happy with yourself by ignoring superficial relationships and the baggage and irritations they carry
> not wanting to just travel the countryside, reading underneath trees and basking in the sun, like ol' papa Steinbeck would've wanted

You do this to yourselves, anons.

>be sitting outside professor's office waiting for an appointment
>reading "The Man Who Mistook his Wife for a Hat"
>qt pale petite grill approaches me
>asks in a quiet, sweet voice if I'm waiting for an appointment too
>yep
>she sits down
>asks what I'm reading
>sigh and show her the cover
>she says she's never heard of it
>tut and mutter to myself how I'm not surprised
>she says "s-sorry?"
>sigh again and make a point of loudly closing the book
>"I said I'm not surprised. Okay?"
>shake my head and try and find my page again
>she gets up and begins jogging to the bathroom area

Fucking normies man, can't they give a guy a break for a couple of minutes? Cheese Louise.

I wish that happened to me, but the only person who ever cared was a 80 year old communist who talked to me about Hegel.

>mfw you mistook her for a hat

Boo, boo, you suck.

that sounds way better

this tbqhfds( this to be quite honest family desu senpai)

This is how anyone should spend their Summer, really.

> tfw sometimes just want to take an RV across the country and spend a week on the road or in the woods with just a few good books

I tried this once. Get's boring really fast.

>Be me, taking first upper division philosophy class (20th century continental)
>First day, see its mostly seniors with some MA students
>Feeling somewhat intimidated
>First reading is Nietzsche's mad man aphorism
>Just meant to set the stage, older students must have read this a million times
>Next day during discussion
>Student says "I don't think Nietzsche really meant what he said, I think he was just going for the shock factor"
>Next student "God is dead, so what life goes on?"

I have so many of these from the different readings. We did a Borges reading and were talking about language when a kid says
>"I just can't accept this stuff about language...I mean, I'm Jewish, and my garndparents raised me to think that some languages are more sacred than others"

Was she a qt?

this, also cute doggo, pls more

No, he had a dry yellow finger and reeked of decades of smoking.

Where I embarrass myself?

I once had a conversation about sincerity and suicide, while attempting to explain why This is Water is hilarious to someone who liked the speech as speech rather than anything else.

samefag

nah, just want doggo

doggo jig

this is the doggo equivalent of knausgaard, his struggle is eternal 1 like = 1 pray

thanks, supreme doggos

No worries, user, dogs are the best.

Cades > doggos

> Cades

Googling it just shows me an industrial equipment supplier in Bradford. Are they really that good, user?

Yes

>chilling with friends
>take collapse vol. I: numerical materialism from my bookshelf
>confront myself and my self (as an ontological historical entity) with the umbra of the rational (as a human beings are not born in an irrational world but internalize a irrationalized écriture , formulated as pathos and it pretends to be mimetic of and only existing by itself in relation to the other) and realize the boundaries of humanity, comprehension and consciousness
>reach rational ecstasy
>pleb friend gets up and says "what is this babbling shit, lmao, lets read carlos fuentes"
>get angry at their nationalist subaltern consumption conditioned by the structures of power of the imperialist white economies, but contain it
>calm myself down by remembering quotes from finnegans wake, my favorite book since i was a teenager
>mfw can't express myself because i'm a spectator in the society of spectacle

"It is not the slumber of reason which engenders monsters, but vigilant and insomniac rationality. - Gilles Deleuze" - ~Astigmata

If you went out more you'd know as a life rule that qts don't ever approach you
user was pulling some stale, battered "le stoic apathetic intellectual" humor

Had a hearty chortle.

>pleb sees I'm reading V
>"remember, remember the fifth of November! Did you get to that part yet?"
>mfw i copied this from another thread

I always tell myself: maybe this guy plays an instrument, maybe this girl knows dance, maybe this guy does theatre, maybe this girl is a moderator for an online anal vore forum.

>work with 45 yr old mother of 3
>always talking about hockey
>claims she has no time to read
>yet she'll devote entire weekends to watching hockey

just tell her:
"hockey dockey"

Mind if I take take this post over to a cringe thread on /b/ user?

Underrated post desu

Read Yeats.

Topkek

>pleb sees I'm reading V
>"remember, remember the fifth of November! Did you get to that part yet?"
>mfw i copied this from another thread

>I don't think "being unable to find the time" is a real excuse anymore.
People basically use it so they don't look boring. If they say "I'm not interested in reading" then they look stupid. Same thing for exercise. If they say, "I don't have time for exercise" it's a way of trying to say they're not lazy. Again, not about lying but mostly about trying to say "Shit, I haven't read since high school."

stay there

This happened to me yesterday.

>be me
>waiting for a job interview
>trying to read (I Malavoglia, for those who are interested) but too nervous
>they finally call me in
>it's 5 fucking people sitting at three different tables
>three straight ahead of me, one to my left, one to my right
>wat
>"Hello user, please have a seat."
>job interview starts, led by the woman in the middle, in front of me
>she doesn't have the faintest clue of what she's doing
>at some point she really does ask me "How many window washers do you think work in the city of Seattle?"
>bitch everyone in this room is Italian, I don't know and neither do you
>sound confident and start talking out off my ass
>anyway
>elderly gentleman sits to the woman's left
>hasn't said a word the whole time
>suddenly
>"Mr. user, do you think it is important that an employee of this company reads?"
>time to shine
>start talking about how someone who reads fiction possesses more empathy, more insight than most others
>"Yes yes, very interesting, but I was talking about philosophy."
>haven't read any philosophy since high school
>mumble noncomittal nothings, I have no idea what to say
>he smirks
>"Thank you, we will call you."
>still haven't called

In my defence, I was applying to become a data analyst. I don't need to read Plato or Nietzsche for that.

>"Yes yes, very interesting, but I was talking about philosophy."
You should have stared him intensely in his eyes and said, "God is dead."

I hope she's dead.

Any conversation I get in with someone who thinks Shakespeare is gay.

Like, seriously? Have you done any critical thinking on the matter or done any of the reading or your own research or are you just spewing back what you've been told?

Clearly, it's the latter.

Fucking plebs, man.

I play instruments and I still find time to read..

this isn't funny, it just hurts inside

I came.

Haha, lol, what an ironic intellectual! I wish I could make such funny, astute jokes with those big words like "ontological" so that people would think I'm both funny...AND smart! xD Nice, dude, keep up the good jokes :-)

you fucked up on the window washer question, employers in certain fields will commonly ask questions like that in interviews to see your thought process of working it out (the actual answer isn't all that important)

where would you get the money?

>some of the girls follw me... "he's right here looking at school books!"

Dodged a bullet user she was bad news

It would be like the one on the left, definitely. Goatse dude is using his arms not his feet.

There was this 10/10 girl I met a few years ago. I didn't know she had a boyfriend, but I tried to get to know her. She's probably the most physically attractice among the women I've met in my life, and we got to talking about books.
'What books do you like?'

She gushes about 'The Secret' by Rhonda Byrne and asked me if I had the gift. My chub immediately died. Later on, she wrote about 'he never fails to please my palette,' and turned out she was talking about her taste buds.

Still the prettiest girl I've ever talked to, though.

I kek'd.

>

dude i just did this the entire last month, camping and reading

cash/10, recommend if you got the requisite nuts and bank balance