"Hey, user. Pick a book for me on your shelf."

Better than Memegustin. You got mem'd hard my friend, mem'd hard

120 Days of Sodom

This is the King James Bible. It's considered by many scholars to be the single most accomplished work of literature in the entire English language. Its incredible genius and beauty is perhaps the greatest evidence we have for the existence of G-d, and it also has important relevance to our behavior over these next several minutes--I'm talking about morals here. What is the right thing to do in the face of overwhelming hunger for your delicate pink nipples? Obviously we both have been experiencing a thick and potent feeling of sexual tension since the moment I accidentally grazed your upper right buttock with my hand when I was opening the door to my bedroom. Sorry about that again. But you must understand that we can never act upon that fire. We must be statues, pale unblemished and untouching statues, cold in our eternal and never realized beauty. The crackle between our porcelain skins is all there will ever be outside of marriage. The Lord has willed it so.

I pick up my 5-volume Summa, 3 compendiums of The Walking Dead, an apple, the complete works of Plato, a slice of salami my favorite meat, Modern Cuisine, The Lord of the Rings in one volume, The Monstrosity of Christ, Russian Learners' Dictionary, a croissant, a jug of wine, and some goat cheese. We have a good meal before sex then I read to her these works after the sex. Of course we marry before sex, of course.

She should love it, then.

This!

Women are shallow and stupid compared to men. They will never understand good literature

Especially the faux-sensitive, "so nerdy" bitches who cry to Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol.

Just looking at that goblin's face makes me so angry! I need to retreat, to go back to the heady realms of fantasy... no, Akarin, I would never betray you for a mass of disgusting meat like her...

How the fuck can the thought even cross your mind when you have a 2D cutie to look forward to?
Then again I guess something is better than nothing.

They're mere vapid roast whore Stocies who'll sell every bit of their simulacrum soul to get banged by Chad.

They have all taken 500 dicks before exiting highschool and will find a beta provider after they've been roasted to shit by Chad. They are inferior to the white male

Where to cop?

> he can't google little penis finger

excellent post, just sublime

>grab The Premier Book of Major Poets
>read her some Yeats or Frost
>hear a flowing between her legs
>she gently kisses my neck and lips
>like arousing waterfall mist
>mfw I'm poem

Looks weirdly similar to my girlfriend except for the eyes, so I'll go ahead and just suggest she picks up either the Naked Lunch or Aut-Aut.

...

I show her(?) a book I don't like much, then avoid talking to her(?) after that

I'm not interested in homely chicks

Is this person supposed to be attractive?
I don't get it, this is like some /pol/ tier 'the jews are pushing ugly women!' conspiracy

Nice try /pol/

id give her The Hobbit

how do you pronounce 'G-d'?

My kidneys hurt.

>Schopenhauer's book 'On Women'
>book 'On Women'
>'On Women'
>book

...

G-d without the . Basically 'Gd'.

Why dont you select a book yourself, sweetheart? In fact... GET THE FUCK OUTTTTAAAH EERRREEE

I know this girl. Where did you find her?

you're waifu a shit

beautiful

gee dee. i like 'giddy'

>Picks Infinite Jest
>Claims someone else got meme'd hard.

You never cease to make me laugh, Veeky Forums.

...

Where do I find her?

More pics please

*tibs bedora* :DDD

doesn't matter. i'm pretty sure i've gotten laid a few times thanks to IJ

*hand her Ride the Tiger*

ya, i'm a differentiated man baby

So Long, See You Tomorrow

Fuckin faggot, UPDIKE is the ugg boots of literature.

>i'm a differentiated manbaby

But I live in a barrel, femanon, I don't have shelves.

Then I enthusiastically perorate the rat sequence to her.

Here you go, hot stuff.

I like this.

>not equipping your barrel with self-nade shelves so you can continue studying philosophy

Top pleb

What else?

She's not going to read it anyway, and the title+cover make it seem like an actual intellectual book.

>Not memorizing philosophy from the public library so that you can keep your barrel clean
get a load of this pleb

>not stealing them from the public library so you can read them in your comfy barrel

I thought reading poetry to get laid was just a meme until I did it on a whim two weeks ago and it worked.

There's man's autism.
Then there's G-d's autism.
You made the right choice user.

Plotless tripe.
I get what he's trying to do with the whole post-modern book without a story, the novel is as shallow as it's protagonist bit, but that doesn't save it from being absolute shit.

...

10/10 would read the novel.

Is there even a right answer? If she doesn't like it it will reflect badly on me, and if I pick something "easy" or safe she might think I'm being condescending or boring.

If she was smart enough to feel patronized, do you think she'd be asking you to pick something for her to read?

I believe that's why you should give her a book that would intimidate her, in the narrow case she reads it, so she wouldn't ask you such a pernicious question again.

GET TO IT WOMAN

READ DIS AND THEN I COYLD FUG U MAYBE

So you think it's shit simply because it doesn't have a conventional plot?

I'm not necessarily saying that you're wrong, I just want to give you a chance to elaborate.

New Testament

It's alright; I already have the lube.

I read the entire Wheel of Time series to her in a monotonous voice. And I don't let her leave or take a bathroom break until im done with the whole series or the cops come. whichever happens first.

ALPHA AS FUCK

Not because it doesn't have a conventional plot.
It has NO plot.
Not only does he end up in the exact same place that he did before, he didn't change one iota as a person.
All the novel consists of is surreal description of the ongoing action, with nothing really adding to it.
I guess post-modernism just really isn't my thing.

typical evola reader if i'm being frank with you, relative

This: kyoko is like 100 times better

This is an example of how people who have never really interacted with someone else who reads think. If you have some respect for the person in front of you, if you believe them to not be complete and utter idiots (which I think is the case in OP) and not to mention, you have some faith in your own skill and culture - you'd eagerly ask them to recommend you a book, any book they like, and you'd be interested in reading something new (confident in your ability of getting something worthwhile from the time spent reading it) and, at the same time, maybe understanding more of the giver's personality. This obsession in equating solitary, free choice to higher intelligence idiotic.

What did you read her user?

Greentext it

Read this in class. Can't remember if it was racist as fuck, or if it proved that people were being racist as fuck.

It's a specially hand selected collection of poorly designed and outdated research that just happens to lead to certain conclusions on educating people based on skin colour (in fact the conclusions also don't follow, the Flynn effect seems to be happening because of better targeted eduction at the otherwise less capable, so if black people are dumber than everyone else the economic argument seems to be more education instead of throwing them on the scrap heap).

It's doubly not racist because white people, although smarter than most others, are stupider than white Jewish people (who aren't really white because of their religion), or East Asians I think it was. You know, the pale Asians like in the authors' animes and yellow fever fantasies.

Here's her profile. Her website is invite only though.
Need to spread this out, or 4chin thinks it's spam.

blogger.com

and the rest is

/profile/05260456499813954039
No extra pics either

This

Oh yeah. You read a girl some sappy or pretty piece of poetry in a 'poetic voice', and she's even remotely into you or art, and it'll be like flicking the 'on' switch to the new 2017 Hoover Cooter Scooter.

I once gave a girl my copy of American Gods, it was just paperback but I'd had it for so long, it was sentimental.

She never read it and then we broke up and I'll never get it back. Bitch.

>King James Bible
I knew this was going to be a shitpost by the time I've finished the first sentence.

>yurushit
What are you, a faggot? Lain is objectively the most optimal waifu there will ever be.

Lube you said?

I don't really think that's a defining quality of postmodernism lol

>than white Jewish people (who aren't really white because of their religion)
they mean the sephardi or ashkenazi user

Ooh fuck dude, thank you so much for reminding me to rewatch lain
>present day
>present time

Go back to lainchan.

Yeats - Mythologies

The Ego and Its Own. But also

>Especially the faux-sensitive, "so nerdy" bitches who cry to Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol.
>Just looking at that goblin's face makes me so angry!

HOLY FUCK

>implying I can't be at 4chinz and lain at the same time

>Sure! How about Catch-22? I thought it was pretty funny.

I gave an Asian twink Dubliners off my shelf and he was blowing me within 10 minutes.

It's a fucking essay, retard

patrician af. jealous desu

does gratification by a twink feels the same as gratification by a woman?

I've loaned out books that way three times.

Once to my little sister, gave her Lolita, which she ended up puking on/not reading.

Once to my mom, a sumi-e book that she still has, not sure if she's tried doing some yet.

Once to a female friend, The Last Unicorn, which she never ended up getting past page 20 and recently gave back.

I guess I'm bad at giving recs.

Pretty sure it was tao lin so gratifying as fuck

Imma pull out my dusty edition of Justine. Not a bad fap.