What do I cook for a girl who's gluten intolerant, vegan, and allergic to both nuts and legumes?

cyanide pie

Vegan stir fry with tofu and rice noodles. Different veggies in there and shit and the best part is you can sneak meat in your dish (like chicken ) so she'll think you are trying to be vegan too.
>faked being vegan for 3 months while trying to fuck my ex

Op here. I came here from /b/ because I asked them the same thing and they all just called me a faggot. I really want to impress this girl, but I don't know what to cook for her.

Well, if you're not bullshitting with a bullshit thread, some ideas would be fried eggplant, ratatouille, or vegetable stir-fry (rice or noodle, your choice).

>ratatouille

She doesn't eat meat though.

Alright, you can fuck off now.

Nothing

100% durum wheat spaghetti with meat sauce and topped with homemade pesto with toasted pine nuts, I would suggest some steamed green beans on the side.

I think that in reality if a girl told you that she had so many limitations without telling you what she can actually eat then she's fucking with you.

Cock

Garlic, potatoes and olive oil.
Bake at about 220 degrees celcius for around 20-40 minutes depending on the size of the dish.
Watch for browning on the top. Make sure it doesn't get burned.

Cyanide gas

Not even joking, go to tumblr and search for "vegan recipes"

If you cook her something amazing she will definitely get on her knees and slobber all over your member.

Cock, obviously, you should'nt date girls like that... You are going to live a nightmare.

cockmeat sandwhich

pot of boiling water to dump on her for having inferior genes

>search for "vegan recipes"

Which will almost certainly all include legumes because it's the one source of bioavailable protein people with that specific eating disorder can touch.

If OPs imaginary women existed she'd probably have massive health problems from all sorts of missing dietary necessities.

You obviously didn't even do a 2 minute search when you posted your completely uninformed comment.

>hurr durr how do i even omit things from a recipe???

>I'm a 10/10 girl and a fat neckbeard asked me over for dinner so to be polite I told him I have a bunch food allergies and other stuff that I made up but he still insisted that he wanted me to come over.
>I have no intention of turning up so the poor little fat guy is probably still pulling his hair out trying to figure out what to cook
>all for nothing because I won't show
>hopefully after this he'll get the message and not ask me out again
really makes you think

Carrots and Napa cabbage stir fried with soy sauce? Would that kill her as well?

>omitting legumes from vegan food
so fruit juice then

The wheat in the soy sauce might. No joke.

Gluten free vegan tacos and burriots
- gluten free shells/tortillas
- mushroom/tomato base/spices
- slightly cooked capsicums
- fresh cucumbers, carrot, tomato, lettuce
- vegan cheese if you must

Are tacos a juice btw

Actually shes probably allergic to the shells/tortillas

If theres some special snowflake alternative get her that :^)

wheat-free soy sauce exists

Steam minced mushrooms, onions, garlic in salt and olive oil on low heat and meanwhile whisk one teaspoon corn starch into one tablespoon cool water. Take veggies out and reserve. Bring liquid to near boiling and add corn starch. Add one teaspoon corn starch at a time using this method to desired thickness. Meanwhile, heat canola oil in a pan and fry the reserved veggies. Add 1 teaspoon sugar and lightly caramelize careful not to burn. Deglaze with alcohol of choice (or vegetable stock) in pan and while still boiling add to the thickened mushroom base. Season with black pepper, red pepper, and whatever else you like. Serve over non glutinous rice

fpbp

Wathever you want and then claim its all those things

a grenade.

>wheat-free soy sauce

Why even live?

just make sure you don't put a bun in her oven senpai

Sauce?

Can she have soy?

Vegetable stir fry.

Maybe throw in some tofu.

kek

>tofu
It's a legume. I doubt it's possible to stay healthy on her diet.

You tell her to man the fuck up and cook her a delicious medium rare steak

I assume she doesn't like mushrooms or anything spice either?
And spicy means about as hot as ketchup in this context.

The 2nd post was the best post

You find a new girl from a stronger gene pool.

One of those is completely voluntary and based on the rest I'm willing to bet that she doesn't actually have celiac, so you should probably just let her die.

You don't, you get out now.
Don't let them breed.

A farewell cake

>being able to afford gluten free wine

Bleach

Find out what she eats. If she has told you she can't have all this shit, then you can ask the perfectly natural "What do you like to eat then? It sounds like you have a lot of stuff to avoid." question.

Then you make that.

Fuck. Well just add more veggies I guess. Or add meat and say it's fake meat. Allergies are real being vegan is a choice.

Steak. Rare.

Guaranteed lay and you won't have to pull out.

Deeze nuts
The name is a misnomer, not related to the nut plant at all

>I really want to impress this girl
No, you really don't. You might want to fuck her, but it's not worth the effort.

Umm she's allergic to nut.

She can't eat any of that you billy

A trip to the curb.

...

a house salad with strychnine dressing

You run.

You don't. Find a woman that isn't a broken human and has better genes to pass down to children.

Not OP, but I legitimately dated a girl for a few weeks who was gluten intolerant, a vegetarian, and allergic to dairy and soy, and also had a bunch of other random allergies to specific things (raspberries, amongst other things).

Nice enough girl, but taking her to eat was a fucking nightmare. We couldn't go anywhere, she couldn't even eat a basic salad at a lot of places because they'd put soy or something else she was allergic to in their dressing. I couldn't imagine trying to cook for her.

Brussels sprouts with shallots and olive oil

sneak in bacon grease for maximum flavor

How do people even become so weak that they basically can't eat anything?

napkins

I don't fucking know. I'm in my 30s and when I was a kid,mall these allergies weren't a thing. We had one kid at my summer camp one year who had a peanut allergy, and everyone thought it was super abnormal.

The kids now are all allergic to everything. My theory is that all these faggot parents coddle their little shits so their immune system doesn't develop properly and causes all kinds of fuckery when they eat foods later in life. I may be wrong about that though.

Ask her politely yet firmly to leave.

Cardboard

>My theory is that all these faggot parents coddle their little shits

That's certainly part of it.

The other factor is how medical care has changed. In the past, someone who was seriously disabled might disappear into an asylum or equivalent, never to be seen in public, ever. You also had people with serious conditions who would die from them, whereas these days modern medicine can save their life, or at least prolong it.