If I became a libtard cuck, will I sell a lot of books?

His wife cheated on him with a black man.

for reals?

>women
>grow up
???

Is there any good right-wing YA books I can use to redpill my 12 year old bro? I fear he might be turning into a libtard

>johngreenbooks.com/59-times/

>The Today Show just said I’ve been dumped 59 times. It was 53, thank you very much. Whatever happened to fact-checking?

>What kind of loser gets dumped 59 times?! Not this one, certainly.

I'd sacrifice innocent children to make this come true

and yes, my wife's son is off limits for this deal, satan

Pretty much everything by Rudyard Kipling.

let your kid be liberal
if he's worth a damn he'll grow out of it by the time he graduates college

A list of many of John Green's girlfriends and reasons they broke up with him:

>1. Jennifer Keene was the cutest girl in third grade, and as such was really out of my league, which she realized after four days.

>2. After it ended with my fourth-grade girlfriend Julie Baskin, I wrote in my journal, “my life is a waste” (seriously).

>3. Tiffany-whose-last-name-I-can’t-remember told everyone at camp I kissed like I was eating a sloppy joe, and then broke up with me during pottery class.

>4. Davonne Raizor, the cutest Cure fan in all of ninth grade, eventually revealed, “I keep trying to be attracted to you, but it isn’t working.”

>5. Barbara wanted someone harder core.

>6. Holly Brown liked Stuart more.

>7. Fran realized she didn’t like boys.

>8. Jen Spears realized she still liked Gilbert.

>9. By way of parting, Jeanette said, “You don’t need a girlfriend; you need a robot who says nothing but I-love-you,” and in doing so, made her way into “An Abundance of Katherines.”

>10. After several hours-long conversations about our relationship told me, Jenny told me, “I would prefer to HAVE a relationship rather than just discuss one,” which proved impossible.

>11. After two years, Major College Girlfriend and First Real Love Marie Ponzillo was like, “If we’re not gonna get married, we should probably break up, and we are SO not getting married.”

>12. Jill dumped me because I couldn’t get over Marie.

>13. Annika dumped me because I couldn’t get over Jill.

>14. Then came the smothering trilogy: Jessi Johnston felt really smothered.

>15. Carrie Sanders felt really smothered.

>16. Lesley Martin felt really smothered.

>17. After my junior year of college, Mary-whose-last-name-I-can-remember-but-she-is-a-lawyer-and-has-threatened-to-sue-me drove with me to Alaska, where we were spending the summer in a town of 18 people, and in pretty short order, Mary dumped me for one of the other 18 people.

>18. Emily Chambers was my Alamo: there were no survivors.

>19. Sarah Urist dumped me after two dates, because I was awkward and couldn’t talk to her (but then we stayed friends and I got slightly less awkward and then four years later we got married).

This can't be real.

Which books is he talking about

Its amazing hes had that many girlfriends. Lets be honest, most of us have had one or two; if that.

on one hand this is pathetic but on the other hand I've only had 1 gf and I quickly broke up with her

I will never know that many women in my life, I predict.

"""""girlfriends""""""

I suspect that most of them never fucked him

I'd be willing to hazard that he hasn't fucked anyone who's not on that list. I've laid about that many and dated like three of them for long enough to call them girlfriends.

get out

>Going to graduate from college next year without getting laid
It's happening :)

Is that a boy or a girl?

if you can't tell the difference, does it matter?

I'm in my last year of university and I only lost my virginity this year

since men don't have a hymen they don't have virginity to lose

Heh, yeah, I was a bit of a late bloomer myself. Didn't lose my v-card until I was almost 18. Just a few handjobs before that. Anyway, keep your chins up. If you keep being yourself and getting out there I'm sure some girl's going to be all over you.

>wanting a girlfriend

Why not just consume yourself in escapism? You'll die anyway.

I kek'd. A rather girlish kek, not like the wet windy kek which I imagine fat wives have. It was sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night.

Literally kill yourself.

thanks, man

This is what the average Veeky Forums reader looks like.

kheck

i understood this reference

You're welcome guys, just offering some advice. We all go through rough patches, but it gets better. I'm kinda down now because I had to tell my fwb we weren't gonna be official and she cried a lot. So sad.

Bought this truck on the advance from my new sci-fi novel (I'm such a dork, I know). What do you think? There's a party at my agent's house in the hills tonight, you should totally swing by.

Oh, the theme is couples costumes. Just grab someone on your way over!

Welp, can't fault the lad for trying.

s-sorry chad, i just broke my foot so i can't come. sounds like a blast though!

have lots of fun and g-get the bitches haha

c-can i g-grab you instead
n-no homo of course hehehe

It's not cheating if he was in the same room watching.

Why are you guys stuttering? You sound like girls when they come up to me. I know a good speech therapist if you'd like me to refer you. He helped me work on my public readings of the new novel I've got coming out in November.

And no, you can't grab me. That's gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course.

>18. Emily Chambers was my Alamo: there were no survivors.

I mean
it's not like he's wrong or anything

i-it's not gay if i said n-no homo

>who can bench press your body weight
how fat is she then?

Orson Scott Card. He's pro-traditional marriage and that's about it. He's actually relatively liberal but left is so butt hurt they boycott everything he's involved with.

He asked for good books though.

yes he is