I spent two years of my life working in the quality assurance lab of one of the United States' largest peanut butter factories. I've tested the quality and safety and inspected every inch of the production of peanut butter--all brands, all products... Even cereal and dog food.
AMA Veeky Forums
Did you ever let your dog lick your balls and taint when you spread the pb on them?
You ever done that thing with the peanut butter and your dog?
Never personally tainted anything at all. I always really cared about my job and protecting the consumer. However, the majority of line workers were disgruntled asshats and we would occasionally get returns that contained bandaids or jewellery. That being said, we could never prove it wasn't placed by the consumer.
Hahaha no. Would definitely try it with my girlfriend first
You ever put peanut butter on your dogs balls and then lick it off?
You're fucking dumb. I asked if dogs lick your balls.
I did it. Dog got freaked out and wouldn't come near me for a week.
>tfw rejected by a dog
reee
*Sigh* nope
Yeah I misread. Honestly I don't immediately think of tricking an animal into sexual acts, but I highly recommend you try it yourself if you're so interested. It would be a real shame if the dog decided to bite.
I think they mean on your anus dude.
I'm aware that's what a taint is. I'm busy at work right now and just glanced. Didn't immediately assume he meant defiling myself. Sorry.
do you think dog in peanutbutter sauce would taste good?
Not surprised. I took great care in my work and consistently reported various issues to the higher ups... More often then not, myself and other technicians were silenced and nobody ever investigated further. Our ovens roasted all nuts at 400° for about ten minutes... But there were flaws in the process which temperature alone could not possibly "clean."
Ask your local Chinese place. If I was starving I'd eat it, assuming it wasn't my own dog.
Also, my facility is one of the cleanest in the world. Very few recalls due to anything. I guess that's why they've become more lax over time.
What's your favorite type and brand of PB?
Did you ever dip your penis in a jar of peanut butter and then make love to a dog, doggy style or missionary?
If you've got 17 minutes this is an excellent documentary on this:
youtube.com
Have you ever licked peanutbutter off your dogs asshole?
Why does peanut butter make my breath smell like my dad's vinegary balls?
I always loved the Skippy Roasted Honey Nut, crunchy. It's not available everywhere but it's damned good, especially hot.
I'll bookmark it, thanks. I really fear for the industry. I was the last one with a degree and they ignored all of my research. Even the supervising staff and managers have no background in science. It will eventually ruin the company.
Do PB companies make appointments for inspections, or do you just swoop in unannounced to catch them off guard?
did you ever deal with regulators or inspectors face to face?
Do you still buy commercial peanut butter or blend your own?
I have. AMA.
I worked locally in the laboratory of our specific factory. Several inspections are made yearly by THE government and religious organizations (ex: FDA, and Jews). Really I was sort of the front-line of defense.
Yes. As well as ambassadors from other countries. For example, store representatives from Japan who wanted to make sure our factory was clean and modern.
I haven't purchased peanut butter in years because it doesn't REALLY go bad and I accumulated a ton while I was working there. We were allowed two jars per shift or a maximum of ten jars per week. So over the course of two years I accumulated a ton and donated plenty to friends, family, amd charity.
I bought 'reduced fat' 'peatut butter' once without really reading the label and when I got it home, I saw that it only contained 60% peanuts. The rest was pea protein or some shit. So, I guess my question is: what the fuck? Why is this allowed?
>Why is this allowed?
What, your stupidity?
Ask your parents user. They are the ones who failed to abort you.
Why is what allowed? You not reading the label before you bought it?
If the label states what's in it then I don't see the problem?
also, fuck spelling.
*peanut
Legally, it isnt allowed. It must have said "peanut spread" or "reduced fat peanut spread" or something to that degree. Peanut butter, legally, must be a minimum of 90% peanuts. The other ten percent is a variable mixture of oil, sugar, salt, and monoglycerides. There is no such thing as natural peanut butter for this same reason. The "natural" butters merely substitute palm oil for peanut oil which is completely unnatural and terrible for the environment.
Alright, it's time someone asked. What's some of the worst shit you've seen/been through working the job?
In the roaster room, there was once an old piece of machinery that had been filled with various peanut particles and dust that had fallen off the roasting conveyor belt. I ordered maintenance to open up the machinery because it seemed unclean. Inside was years of compressed debris and layer after layer of maggots eating maggots. Luckily it was all contained to this small island, but I haven't worked at this facility in two years so I wouldn't doubt if there have been plenty of other incidents. The higher ups didn't like me because I would find things like this, then the entire plant would shut down to clean for half a week. I would be blamed rather than rewarded. Hence, why I no longer work there. Only other thing that was terrible was when a maintenance man was ordered to work on a moving machine, specifically a sorter for the nuts... It lobbed off every finger on his right hand. Had to shut down the factory for a week to clean the blood out of everything. He did get to keep all his fingers. There also was once a steel nut and bolt that somehow landed in the mill (giant grinder)... Spent days gathering metal shavings and dealing with tons of product that wouldn't pass our metal detector. However, I fear that many shavings were far too small to be detected by your detection system.
The job itself was extremely difficult. Pay was about 15$/hour, plus occasional bonuses. Not good for someone with a four-year science degree. But I'm the dumbass for loving biology. Thirteen-hour shifts, back-to-back, four days per week. Three days off. I worked Friday-Monday from 3pm-4am. I got sick regularly due to no sleep and long hours. Missed half a dozen weddings. Sadly one of the best science jobs in my area, although they are no longer employing people with a background in science. Now they pay even less and hire anyone that can operate equipment and follow instructions.
>old piece of machinery
Was that thing in active use with all that going on inside?
sweet jesus.
>I would be blamed rather than rewarded
Know that feeling all too well. Sucks dick when your manager is just pure cancer. Luckily I later hit a job where the manager was a guy too smart for the job and I was one of the few guys he could talk on the same level with. So he let a lot of the shit I did slide because even though it wasnt technically right he knew it was complete bullshit
No. It was just standing there semi-adjacent to the active machinery. Maybe 15 feet away and even at an angle. You wouldn't think it would be so nasty... But the hot peanut dust flies and gets everywhere. You could smell peanuts driving down the street. I'm convinced half the employees will get strange growths in their lungs from the fibers in the air.
I read some article recently saying that some peanut butter brands have started to add a chemical that is poisonous to dogs. Is this true, and which brands do it if it is?
Yes. The leadership all only had highschool education and wouldnt even follow the manuals to operate some of the critical lab equipment. They would make up their own instructions and make it sound scientific. I proved for example that the procedure used to measure salt levels in the product was completely wrong, but they did nothing about it for an entire year when Walmart noticed half their product had twice as much salt. No recall, no bonus for me. Just a stern warning to stick with the procedure and stop messing around.
What's your opinion on smaller local producers like pic related? I grew up smelling this plant from my window, still eat it over any other brand even though the plant is now outside of boston.
Is my trust misplaced?
>have started to add a chemical that is poisonous to dogs
I wondered why they would do that. But this thread alone makes it easy to understand.
well the chill manager also didnt have a lot of education but he just was smart. He was stuck as a low end manager because he didnt have a diploma. Even though he was better than 90% of the people above him. Hell, him as high end manager wouldve been great.
I know nothing about this.
Sorry.
I'm sure they are fine. My plant made over 300 different peanut butter labels. All with the same equipment and the same peanuts. Skippy, Hershey's, Reeses, Planters, Kroger Brand, Gif, etc. Eat whatever you like. Peanut butter is a healthy food, so long as you don't eat too much.
Yeah I'm not saying a degree is mandatory to be smart, but there's a certain personality required to be a good scientist. These people did not have anything resembling scientific minds.
It wasnt even about science. Its about common sense. For example in the callcenter I worked in as sidejob I had to recieve calls of people wanting to quit their contract with the telecom provider. My job was to stay with the company by giving them discounts. They would look at how well you retain people and some months you perform worse than other months. Then they ask you why. Well some people you cannot retain because either the guy before you told them to just sit back and wait (which prevents him from getting a contract cancel) and you have to take the hit. Or they start living together (which is impossible to salvage), or they got fucked by a contract.
Now one manager is asking me why the hell im slacking some months and he wont take it that I just got bad luck that month. The other chill manager knew that I was performing decently and there is just no guarantee, even that stupid package deal the higherups made is not something that always works. Still some managers have their heads so far up their own damned asses it just doesnt work.
True. I quit the corporate world and I work with one other person in a two-man IT operation. We serve hundreds of clients in the area and there's no bullshit or management because we manage ourselves. I get paid easily twice as much, although I must cover all my own benefits because our fucking useless government takes our taxes and gives back nothing... Particularly bad for the small businesses.... But I'm doing well and shouldn't complain. Save all the complaining for /pol/.
>useless government
>us government
>US government
:^)
A real shame. I know. At least I don't have kids yet. When that day comes I don't know how I'll afford anything.
S-corp mah nigga. Expense everything to the business. You should not be paying individual taxes out of your business income.
Joe the Plumber was a moron, you shouldn't be
We claim everything we can, but that still doesn't mean everything can be claimed as a business expense. I got about 2000$ back in my return this year but that still doesn't come close to the cost of healthcare, dentistry, etc.
>implying hydrogenated peanut butter is good
Why don't you go natural peanut buttah man
>pb & jail
Lately, PB has caused a fiery reaction on my balls and taint. Has a new additive been slipped in without the PB using public's knowledge?
>There is no such thing as natural peanut butter
My peanut butter just lists "peanuts" as the only ingredient. Are you saying there could be peanut oil added in, and they don't have to disclose it?
Doesn't taste good man
Fucking plebeian
Are the dangers of aflatoxin in peanut butter overblown?
Smooth or crunchy?
In first world countries, you basically don't need to worry about your food.
all insurance should be from the business and applied to you as employee of the corp. you shouldn't be paying anything out of pocket but deductible and so on.
you need a real accountant, you're fucking yourself hard right now. find a good shop and let them unfuck your finances, trust me I've btdt
yes please, my pb jar says "peanuts, salt". what's the nightmare scenario here?
What was your reaction when you tasted almond butter for the first time and realised how much of your life was wasted working with the inferior nut butter?
OP RETURNS.
Many factories in the US test for aflatoxin levels hourly and AFTER cooking. Cooking alters some of the proteins just slightly so they don't appear when tested. Different labels have different requirements but in terms of aflatoxin, the USA is the LEAST strict of all nations--even including India and Asia. Why? Because we are exporting to them. By the time they get the product it may have a higher level if mold has been growing actively (if the product has been exposed to moisture, etc.).
To this day I have not tried almond butter. However since I was taste-testing peanut butter bi-hourly thirteen hours a day for four days per week, I can tell you that I rarely eat peanut butter as the taste is no longer good. However, I've easily got a year or more left in storage.
Happening in an awful lot of jobs, across all fields. Cheaper for the company plus the chance of the person forcing you to actually do things properly is much lower.
I hear that Jif is the #1 Choice of Choosy moms, would you say the same?
Label quotes aside what do you actually recommend?
Almond butter has a strange mouthfeel, peanut butter goes down a lot smoother. PB will always be my jam.
Then get spoonfuls of sugar into it that may make it taste better for ya.