ITT: greentext the last book you read and others guess what it is

ITT: greentext the last book you read and others guess what it is.

Mein gott, she could kill me in seconds. Does anyone get turned on at the thought of this girl wrestling you down and then using her strength and technique superiority to smother your face with her breasts while teasing you and laughing?

please post this kind of stuff elsewhere

>be me
>be an artist
>out of ideas
>go to a new place to clear my head
>immediately fall for this qt 3.14
>she's literally everything to me, all i ever think about is her
>take care of her younger sisters, get to know her pretty well
>she's promised to marry some fucking normie chad
>go away for a while
>all i can think about is her
>come back
>fuck this, one of us has to die
>decide to kill myself
>share a really passionate moment with qt
>goodbye guys, time to die.

>DUDE
>SPOOKS
>LMAO

>Be an old, lonely proofreader
>Sabotage a history book just because
>New supervisor asks you to rewrite the said history book as if the error actually occurred in real history
>Fall in love with the supervisor
>The end.

This sounds like something Borges would write.

Is it a book by murakami?

sorrows of young werter

>be me
>have uncomfortable relationship with mother
>see her almost burn to death but whatever
>see a Nazi plane crash in my village, check it out
>start using dead pilots respirator
>breathing out of his lungs lmao
>start lodging at this couple's house.
>be me
>have weird guy lodging in my house
>he talks me into fixing a horse race
>go with him to transport the horse and he ends up getting kicked to death by it
>lmao just bury him under some mud
>go to race
>see one of the guys who is on it get murdered by another guy who is in on it
>whatever I'll just fuck some bimbos
>where the fuck is my wife?
>oh...they raped her
>oh...they killed her
>time to stop the race
>limp as fast I can across the track
>oh shit there's someone in the bushes
>fuck he shot me
>still limping, blood trailing, mixing with the dew
>he keeps shooting
>falling, limbs flailing, falling, no one sees, no one sees, the grass rushing closer, ready for me, I'm ready, fade to black
>fuck I'm dead

>be me
>be 30, old as fuck
>just married some 23 y/o chick
>she's fucking materialistic and egocentric
>need to go to the hospital for some shit
>wife doesn't even visit me for like a day and a half
>start thinking about this chick i used to fuck, because friends keep bringing her up
>decide to go visit her when i get out
>she acts weird, as if i'm nothing to her anymore
to be cont.

>golf course golf course
>smells like trees
>ooh no oh no ooh im a wettie maybe ill kill meself
>dam sluts dunno wots good fer em
>dam sluts dun run awf again
>silly white folks praise jesus

>Everything is a fucking metaphore
>The old man can speak cat ayyy lmao

The sound and the fury

Nope.

The Lime Twig. Nice

>be me
>go to a funeral
>stroll around for a bit
>meet people
>go home
>cheating slut of a wife won't stop mumbling abstract meaningless nonsense
>yes

>run away from home
>chill in a library
>dream that I killed my dad
>be anxious that I killed my dad
>friendly tranny lets me chill at his cabin
>go wander in the woods, find some soldier bros
>they let me chill at their cabin
>decide it's not chill so I ball out

Dream Meme by Jambo Jouissance

Bingo

>yoyoing and searching

VVVVV

>writer goes to his childhood town
>sex with girl he met like two days ago
>befriends old teacher and boy
>vampires everywhere
>priest lost his faith and runs away to save the day in other book
>kill vampire
>burn town

Odysseus, by J.J. Meme

>be me
>got hired to observe the venus transit in Africa
>got to take a amauter with me
>ship is attacked by the french but we survive
>stay in and landowner house in Africa
>all his daughters want to fuck me and my friend
>found out they just want me to fuck their woman slave so they can have a white baby to trade in the city
>meet a talking dog that loves watching cockfights
>suddenly clocks are having an argument
>finished the job
>keep seeing dead wife
>is there any superior force commanding our paths?
>hirer sent us to America
>cross the country with a bunch of lumberjacks, indians, a reverend and a china man
>china man believes there's an jesuit who want to thwart our job and kill him
>china man disguises as jesuit
>china man starts believing he's the jesuit himself
>meet a french cook
>he's followed by an invisible talking duck who protects him
>he invents sandwich
>meet a guy who is a werebeaver
>found out the Swedish lumberjack who works for us is an spy for something or someone, he's not sure
>werebeaver fights Swedish lumberjack, eclipse makes werebeaver loses his powers
>finished the job
>go back home
>life is almost over now
>meet children I've been running from
>got married again
>feels good man
>dead wife keeps showing up
>feels bad man
>friend says he went to the inner earth
>we still meet from time to time

>be me
>be rich, powerful mayor of pleasant city
>still secretly depressed all the time
>have retarded friends and family
>have to save the town while facing a coup because everyone is a moron

Oh man.

Wait, Hencher and his mum lived in a village? I had the impression it was an apartment building in London or some other big city.

And did Banks get shot before jumping on the race track? I thought the thug in the bushes missed.

>be a Jew
>the fuzz caught me
>dad saves my ass

Effin' Game's Weak by J.Jo

Anne Frank's Diary - 50th Anniversary Alternative Ending Edition

Finnegans Wake

>be me
>best friend wins the war and becomes king
>he becomes decadent and foolish
>king visits
>son falls and is paralyzed
>king asks me to be right hand man
>travel to the king's city with daughters
>investigate the last advisor's death
>discover terrible secret
>sentenced to death
>drop to my knees
>sword is swinging towards my neck
>kneeling on the floor
>everybody walk the dinosaur

>Fall in love with the supervisor
>something Borges would write
I don't think you've ever read Borges, m8. Don't post shit like that again, please. I know you don't intend to be funny but you are to me, cunt.

a game of memes

>see neighbor
>he has a mental break staring at some green light
>later
>he let's a woman drive his car and she kills someone
>gets murdered over it
>end

>people go on islands for ages and dont eat
>gods and shit
>not just greeks though

non-fiction, suggested here a lot

Candide

Mason and Dixon.

>be moon
>be computer scientist
>let's overthrow the government for fun
>I don't know what I'm doing
>let the computer do all the work
>libertarianism is kinda cool
>become space america
>oh I'm president but my best friend is dead

the end

>going down the river on a boat somewhere in Africa
>then this dude starts telling us about that time he went down the river in Africa
>niggers and shit on his story
>there's also this one dude that speaks so fucking well, but proceeds to die because fuck if i know
>he ends the story and we keep going

It's that Heinlein book, isn't it? Haven't read it.

>leg hurts, or does it
>can't remember my name. oh, wait, yes i can.
>kill doge but woman is nice
>wew forest is big
>another leg is stiff; i crawl
>i think i can stay in this pit
>.
>but why should i go after him
>why is my son so stupid
>i have to leave, i have to leave
>buy us a bike, son, DO YOU UNDERSTAND
>why have i just killed this lad
>leg hurts
>son left
>come back home, it's empty
>it's midnight...
>not

Great oh Darkness. Ducking auto correct. I ain't even gonna bother editing this.

are people actually attracted to this body type?

It's a great book if you can tolerate the made up english dialect. Has some neat ideas, definitely ahead of it's time.

Betas who're into dominatrix-type women are.

I wouldn't be attracted to her, but i would still respect that girl because she could beat me to death, probably, with my current body state.

I want to know what these are.

Me.

yes

>Be me
>Be a wizard
>Romping through the jungle
>Climbing up a sheer cliff face
> I end up in an an old temple, natives are creeping on me
>Pass out due to exhaustion
>Dream I am a teacher
>I am lecturing hundreds of my pupils
>In the waking world, I eat very little and sleep the whole day away
>In my dream, only one pupil can challenge my brilliance
>I dream night and day, teaching this pupil all there is to know
>Soon in the waking world I fashion my dream pupil a crude body of mud and clay
>After much focus and concentration the clay shell becomes filled with his spirit
>I begin teaching him while I wake, no longer able to dream
>At last, I send him off to another temple down river where he is to study
>Can't let him know he is only a dream. The weight of what I have done sets in
>The temple catches fire, my pupil presumably dies a flaming death
>My own temple is engulfed in flames, but I cannot be burned
>Because much like my dream pupil, I too am simply the product of someone's dream

Should be easy

>be me, chillin on a boat
>boat crashes and I awake on another boat
>scary burly sailors everywhere
>now I'm trapped on this other damn boat
>captain scary dude who could easily kill me
>he's kind of a bro though, we talk lit
>get used to life on the sea
>some other stuff happens

José Saramago's The History of the Siege of Lisbon

Kafka on the Shore.

Murakami has stated the book is a riddle, the answer to which will only be revealed after numerous rereads, and that there will be a different answer for every individual.

And that was the point where I knew beyond a sliver of doubt that Murakami is a hack.

Chill the fuck out man

Borges, cba to find Ficciones and tell you the name of the story

>Wake up to police in my house
>they fuck up qt grills room almost imperceptibly
>use as excuse to get with grill
>she ignores
>some other things happen, fuck if I remember
>get shot in the head

>be me
>following this old dude through the mountains, keeps outpacing me despite being like 200
>finally get to hippie commune in a cave in the mountains
>getting introduced to all these weirdos, leader is a mouth breathing chad
>q.t.π comes out of the cave
>tells me she loves me, promise to marry her that same night
>spend the rest of the evening listening to these fucks tell their dreary stories about village life

Anyway fast forward like 3 days

>running away from the cops after we messed around with some transport infrastructure
>leg gets blown the fuck off by the damn feds
>trying to hold it together
>everyone decides to fuck off, including q.t 3.14
>have to go an hero to maintain my dignity

the trial m8 not even hard

Fuckin Borges, I forget the name of that story.

The third one is definitely Mason & Dixon. It's a pretty good description.

>In my 40s, wife dead, lonely as shit
>Young girl slips me a note saying that she loves me
>My 40+ brother doesn't want me being together with anyone because it would be bad for the family
Pff fuck that guy
>Fuck on the low
>He finds out and convinces us to stop seeing each other
>Family is the most important thing.
>I love my Big Brother

>be young homo in nihon
>like muscular dudes
>like gore
>love girls
>no erection though

1984

Crushed on the friendly tranny when I read this

>be me
>young boy
>see the boi
>run away from home
>get stabbed in a bar fight
>recover and leave bar
>get into another fight and get my ass beat again
>guy who kicked my ass helps me up
>we homeboys now
>establish our friendship by killing a dude together, male bonding.
>get thrown in jail
>get released and join up with some shady fuckers promising money and adventures if we just kill some folks and scalp them
>go in some desert adventures, killing everyone we meet
>one if the guys is a fat bald white guy that talks like a redditor
>stops every 10 minutes to draw some shit
>more desert adventures, killing dang ole injuns and almost getting killed by dang ole injuns
>almost starve to death like 16 times
>find a ferry crossing
>lol it's ours now
>SHIT INDIANS
>call them niggers anyways
>run away with an arrow through my leg because our shit just got rek'd
>see a figure in the desert
>it's that goddamn redditor
>tries to fucking kill me
>run away, go on some other adventures. grow up and shit
>go to a bar
>IF IT ISNT THAT GODDAMN REDDIT FAGGOT PROBABLY GONNA LECTURE ME ABOUT FUCKIN SPACE
>he totally does
>there's a dancing bear and some fuck shoots it
>fat white guy dancing
>says he doesn't sleep, he will never die
>mfw he doesn't sleep
>mfw he will never die
>mfw I have no face because I am dead

"The Circular Ruins" in Ficciones

>every1 b4 me got it wrong
>senses is but the beginning
>die a lick tick
>CONSCIOUSNESSCONSCIOUSNESSCONSCIOUSNESS

>the internet is in our brains
>dude mal lmao
>hipster quirky girl against the corporations
>tragic irony as she dies pleading the corporations
>main hero is as dumb as a brick
>hipster girl and main hero tries to fuck
>in the end, she becomes a vegetable

ew by

meme meridian

>be me
>ex bf dies
>have to execute his will
>how.jpg
>put on a shit load of clothes
>fuck this guy
>weird symbol on stamp
>MostImportantThingInMyLifeNow.jpg
>see a play
>go to a factory
>go to a club
>all these coincidences
>YouCallMeParanoid,ICallYouUninformed.png
>Guy thinks I'm a trap
>question sanity
>go home to see psychiatrist
>tfw he's actually /pol/
>husband becomes one with the universe using LSD
>leave
>auction of stamps
>guy in Trystero going to buy them
>going to assault him to try and figure out if crazy or found real conspiracy

Should be very easy. Might have got the order of events a bit wrong though.

Stoner

>Be me
>Go to a graveyard with my friends for some shits and giggles
>Get lost, feeling scarred start running
>Bump into this guy and fall down
>See guy get attacked
>I save him for some reason
>tfw I might be gay for a guy I don't even know

TCoL49

crying of lot 49

>turned into old person
>rule #1 of magic club is you can't talk about your curse

Howl's Mobile Mansion

>there is a God
>is a God
>a God
>God
>implying God is real

>The Idiot

>2 guys from Germany use super hot dialectics to BTFO modern economic systems
>Decide to make a melodramatic leaflet about it

Rereading it
part 1:
>Gimmie bak my gurl
>NOO
>ARRRRROOOOWWWWW
>SOWWy
>ShEEp DeATh
>BOO BOO BOO A DREAM FOR YOU
>RiSE UOP ABNDF RAPE IT ALL
>1000000000000000 BOOOAAAAATTTTSSS
>REEEEEEEEEEEE

>see dat boi

>I'm a suicidal woman
>My mind is immaterial and my body is filthy
>I only want to die
>Let me explain how badly I want to die for 38 pages
>brb suicide

Iliad. Nice.

Sylvia is that you?

>be me
>amateur filmmaker
>only friend is a nigger
>girl gets cancer
>forced to befriend her
>she like our movies
>girl dies
>nothing happens

I'm ashamed

Newp.

I had to guess, never read the Bell Jar

I don't think you're doing it right

I want to say something by Plath but the "38 pages" is throwing me off

Me n Earl n dead girl

I saw the movie. didn't know it was a book

The Groots Gotsta Be Fuckin' Scott & Cheryl

What is this?

Righto. It's pretty good as far as YA books go. The writer is a Harvard graduate, and it's pretty fun overall and plays with form a lot. It just took me three hours to read (and I read rather slowly), so if you're interested it's a quick, easy, and enjoyable read.

Fitzy Gerald and the Gobsmacking Gat

you had me at 3 hours

Kek

Neuromancer

Her last published work was 38 pages. And a play. Your only hints.