Please confine all John Green hate to this thread. Post quotes and shit if ya want. Anything minor that doesn't need its own thread should go here. Anything major should go here as well, frankly. Just as long as it's a meme & it's supreme, it's welcome here, ya hear? Treat this thread like the orphanage you were sent to when your mom abandoned you on the street.
C'mon guys, admit it, we may hate him on the inside but we all know he's our secret mascot.
Other urls found in this thread:
fishingboatproceeds.tumblr.com
twitter.com
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I hate other people so much.
Is he a historian or a bad girl tween romance writer?
He's the worst kind of "nerd", the type that self-identify as such and who wear tshirts with "Nerd" across the tshirt as if they're so happy to embody what is essentially a character-type invented by mainstream media to split human beings into demographics based not on race or some objectively measurable thing but on cultural subgroups whose Platonic form is represented in movies and tv shows. It's disgusting. An aspergic Nazi engineer who works in complete isolation and is obsessed with creating a complex machine to kill jews etc is more of a "nerd" than a guy who talks in a falsely expressive voice on youtube about how neat Star Wars is. It's exactly the same as the word "Punk", which pretty much refers to anybody who is willing to be independent despite drawing the negative attention of other people and "the norm". Now it's all about wearing spiked jackets and living in a squat with a bunch of HIV sufferers. Both Nerd and Punk should be mentalities, not physical descriptors or means of self-definition. He's a nu-male beta cuck using the "Nerd" image to trick impressionable girls into overlooking his obvious character flaws because he's supposedly some super-clever, socially oppressed guy who deserves their pity and affection. It's disgraceful. I'm more of a nerd for typing out this long-ass reply on an anonymous shitposting blog than some dude is for wearing pixel sunglasses and a tshirt that says "GOT RAM?"
Sometimes he does the second one for money. He does the first one to convince everyone that he's smart & knows his shit.
Is this the new pasta
Only if you do your part and paste it to future John green threads
he seems happy with that identity though. can you say the same about yourself?
I know I can't.
Please use a trigger warning.
>'you are too enthusiastic about the miracle of human consciousness'
this is some fucked up form of euphoria
It would have been better had no one ever been born.
>vampire teeth
No wonder he likes Twilight.
...
...
>miracle of human consciousness
>miracle
>triggeredligotti.png
Thank you
Thank you for this thread, user.
I work in a library, so I have to see this smug shit's books circulate to high school classrooms while co-workers sing his praise.
OP here. Tell me your most kekworthy experience, user.
Bump because I too request stories
With my identity as someone who isn't an explosive, hemorrhaging tool?
Yes.
>“She wasn’t doing a thing that I could see, except standing there leaning on the balcony railing, holding the universe together.”
Face it Veeky Forums, he sometimes writes some pretty good stuff.
he's on the verge of being mediocre but always falls for something easy or cheesy
Yesterday I'm hanging out on the stoop of my friend's building and a guy walks buy and he's taking out some American Spirit blues and I stop him and ask him for a cigarette, complimenting his taste. He tells me that the guy from one of the books (I can never remember which one) smokes American Spirits blues. I've never felt more disgusting for being identified with a group.
That's not too bad.
but other than trying to sound 2deep4u, what does this line actually mean or accomplish?
She is his whole world desu
This is so stupid but I laughted out loud.
It's putting the pussy on a pedestal """"prose"""" version
why is that man pointing the wrong way? my dubs are up here
I just got directed here for the new pasta. What's the meme behind the green?
I could benchpress a pretty fat girl and I'm not even that strong to be honest with you famalam
I sincerely hope that you are all joking....
He still has this weird obsession with people 'doing things', and a remnant of that remains in the sentence. He probably thinks it's cute or something, but it's just awkward and non-descriptive.
I'm sorry to disappoint, but nothing really noteworthy. Just annoying. One co-worker would constantly post or share his youtube videos on her facebook page, so they were always showing up in my feed. How does this man have such a following? He looks like he love the smell of his own shit. Literally. He literally saves his farts in bags to save later on because he loves the fact that he created them, therefore they are worthy of smelling and SHOULD be smelled.
Incidentally, the only other person who hates his body of work at my library is the Teen Librarian. Go figure.
kek. Uncle Frank's pain has caused him to lose his sense of direction.
God. Teens deserve good literature...not the shit that gets pumped out the arse of publishers.
Has Veeky Forums ever tried to write a book for teens?
We can't. Everytime we try to write anything a swarm of edgy-memespouting-kids flood the text with pynchon and dfw and bodily fluids bits
>all these idiots not realizing that it's a Salinger quote
I don't know what did you both quoted me. I said that it was close to being mediocre. That's not much of a compliment in my books
I kekd.
Just stop. You're embarrassing yourself.
see kthx lol!!
Salinger is as cringy desu
If Salinger wrote that, holy hell. I can imagine it as a Lana del Rey lyric.
In his defence there's a sort of untold truth in writing where a lot of sentences sound way better if you have been reading the contest.
>Nerds
literally stopped reading right there.
Shit like this really makes me wonder if this board is worth browsing.
maybe you could leave and raise the bar for everybody else
That makes no sense, seeing as how I can recognize a fucking Salinger quote when almost everyone else here is evidently unable to.
Go ahead, cook up another sick burn for me.
Maybe other people haven't read salinger and/or are not particularly impressed with that quote. It doesn't necessarily dimish the value of the board.
Well this never happened
>"Maybe other people haven't read salinger"
>board dedicated to literature
>user-base hasn't even read entry level literature
>retard doesn't see the problem here
This may come as a shock to you, but there's quite a lot of literature; one could read a hundred book a year and never feel the need to touch Salinger in his entire life, especially if you want to tackle what's being published nowadays.
Let me add to that user:
You could read Salinger and not know that quote, quite easily, given that is not from his most famous work.
Excuses, excuses.
You plebs never learn.
I wasn't one of the user who was tricked you mongoloid
>Having an identity
Fucking plebs everywhere, I swear
I wonder if John reads these threads tho
fishingboatproceeds.tumblr.com
I reall am astounded he wrote a sanctimonious reply to this shit, he's such a smug cunt
>I read," I say. "I study and read. I bet I've read everything you read. Don't think I haven't. I consume libraries. I wear out spines and ROM-drives. I do things like get in a taxi and say, "The library, and step on it." My instincts concerning syntax and mechanics are better than your own, I can tell, with all due respect. But it transcends the mechanics. I'm not a machine. I feel and believe. I have opinions. Some of them are interesting. I could, if you'd let me, talk and talk.
How does he keep getting away with this shit?
His post actually made me feel ashamed for wanting to suck dick. Like damn, these are the people defending me?
How do I turn straight, Veeky Forums?
rewire your brain. It might be possible, and you guys could finally experience the joy of growing your own children, but political correctness will never allow that branch of science to advance
He makes being sluty so fucking unattractive, imagine being his partner and listening to this "profound" drivel every day
its like he doesnt understand basic psychology, did he really think the original poster would do anything other than go "oh my god john green actually wrote a several paragraph reply to my post" and then laugh even harder?
spooky pic
"Excuses, excuses" is not a very good counter argument user. You speak of plebs yet you use playground rhetoric. was right, you leaving would raise the bar.
>His post actually made me feel ashamed for wanting to suck dick
why, because sucking dick means you fall for the masculinity of another person? it's bad because masculinity is sexist and gynophobic
i didnt bother to read his answer
Give the man some credit. He occasionally has a good turn of phrase. For example:
" 'And then he went back to his job, as though nothing had happened.' A sentence that strikes one as familiar from any number of old stories—though it might not have appeared in any of them.
Like you nerds could do better.
Is this another bait
>ITT people who hate their lives so much they feebly try and shit on others in some vain attempt to feel intellectually superior
The hypocrisy is unreal.
Keep breathing heavy with your keyboards and fedoras, stroking back and forth to obscure authors and "high brow" literature.
Sometimes I jump into a taxi and say "To the library, and step on it!"
would give you all of my upvotes if i could
keep being nerds like john green described them :^)
Nigga sometimes it's just fun to make fun of people
Hank?
Wow...people on Veeky Forums act like patricians, but they are really really stupid. Not even Veeky Forums /pol/ /r9k/ or /s4s/ would fall for that. Fucking posers shitting on a great author because he is popular and even if you put a legendary quote with him you get tricked and still shit on him. Fuck off. This board should be deleted.
Everytime, everytime, the shittiest of baits, and you always fall for it.
STOP GIVING ATTENTION TO THIS SHIT
>no you can't say that's being a nerd YOU HAVE TO ACT THE WAY I SAY IS A NERD!
Listen I hate people just trying to gain attention or public approval or whatever bullshit by trying to be a certain "character" in society, rather than recognizing what makes us human is that despite how easily we can be categorized by race, ethnicity, interests, etc, we're all completely unique due to our circumstances in life, but you are pretty much doing the same thing by trying to somehow be "more" unique.
>extrapolating this much
see
I've baited before mate, usually when someone 'falls for it' you have a short laugh and then are immediately reminded of how boring your life is. I don't really care much if someone's not being serious
holy shit this is actually john green
That was a quote from Zürau Aphorisms. Jesus Christ.
Anyone who self identifies as a nerd needs to be brutally bullied desu. I say this as someone who has been labelled as such
You see your first problem is wasting your time giving a shit
OP here, there's too much faggotry in this thread. I know I said that everything is welcome, but let's simmer down a bit, okay?
Fuck off.
I can't help noticing the decay of moderntiy, sorry
Where?
Rubbin my cock..
>the decay of modernity
Earth to user, you need to get your face out of the screen.
This idea of "modernity" you have is simply value to the current situation humanity is in today, which is simply a system of "connections" between individuals as it has always been.
In other words, same shit, different times.
This exactly the uncritcal self-congratulatory progressive bs John Green makes in his history videos. There's a whole academia out there, show some intellectual rigour
Only one guy has admitted to being gay and even then he just wanted advice on how to be straight
meant as reply to
>uncritical
>self-congratulatory
>progressive
>intellectual rigour
You're the full package aren't you?
There's no such thing as being "progressive", there's only what the universe, in all its infinite circumstances that lead up to this very moment, allows to happen.
Now, speaking more in terms of human society, you can't be "progressive", you can only be what the decisions of literally everyone else in the world let you be.
And you know what, I want you to prove me wrong on this. Because it's pretty shitty.
As for being an intellectual, there's just people who have retained different information than others, but you call it "intellectual" because you assign higher value to being able to do in depth discussion on philosophy and literature rather than memorizing the layout of items in grocery isle in your minimum wage job.
ITS ACTUALLY HIM
>don't trust this satanist
Is he some kind of anonymous tripfag i'm not aware of? What am I missing here?
Isn't John Green an athiest?
Because I'm agnostic
Why are you calling people retards?