Are you living your life alone because of a conscious decision or are you alone because you can't change the current...

Are you living your life alone because of a conscious decision or are you alone because you can't change the current situation, Veeky Forums?
I see people all the time both online and in real life that are unhappy about not having a romantic relationship but it's rare to come across someone who simply doesn't want one. Why does society consider lifes final endgame to be getting married and settling down?

Of course i post in the wrong board, sorry boys.

While im here though, are there any books that touch upon this subject?

I think for me it's a conscious decision, to be alone, but i'm not that happy about it. It's very hard for me to really connect with someone without it feeling artificial and superficial, partly because i'm constantly analyzing my thoughts, and i quickly lose 'respect' for a person if he doesn't match my """""intellectual""""" standards. of course all this happens inside my head and on the outside i'm a nice and considerate person which makes it even worse.

to live life never intertwined with another and to only possess experiences from your own POV and not unite with another...you're really ripping yourself off

t. engaged user

you'll be resentful within a couple years, don't worry

Not necessarily true, i still have friends and family i can do all that with.

i wish i was asexual desu, i don't want to need companionship etc
it sounds edgy and childish, but i've had several relationships and they all ended and made me miserable

I cant hold a conversation, which makes having a social life impossible
Thats basically it

Went on hedonistic sex spree after losing love of life to other man, felt sick and disgusted. Now living volcel.

I'm not living my life alone.

Prepare for blogging.

>mid 2013 decide to stop being a dateless kissless virgin
>engage in on-and-off online dating between then November 2015
>get about 100 phone numbers
>go on roughly 80 first dates, maybe another 20 2nd/3rd/etc dates
>have a lot of terrible sex, probably my fault
>still single

Maybe it's just me but finding someone you really want a long-term relationship is rare, maybe 2/100 were relationship material for me. I'm not interested in casual sex so I've just stopped dating. I would broadly list the sum of all my proto-relationships as:

>too different
>no desire (either mutual or singular) for a relationship
>too boring
>too old
>too physically unattractive
>too depressing
>too depressed
>no chemistry (physical and/or mental)
>etc

I blame that for my current lack of desire in having a girlfriend and the subsequent conscious choice to not have one. Call it sour grapes but my friends are enough for me to be satisfied. I'd be lonely if I didn't have my best mates that's for sure.

Don't let this put you off dating though, I'm just an odd and antagonistic person.

I'm happy being alone, at least that's what I tell myself. My endgame is self actualization, and I'm yet to find a relationship that doesn't distract from that.

I don't live life alone. I've been with my spouse for nearly nine years now.

Well atleast you tried, that sounds awful though. Like soliciting people over the phone.

You're not as smart as you think you are

Asexual people also need companionship in some capacity

I've been on several lifetimes worth of dates and I'm only in my early 20s. I was considering typing out a bunch of tips but I now realise that's no fun.

Life's endgame is getting married and settling down because that's the state you remain in for the rest of your life until you die; its a constant that may as well be as short in years as it is long. You are bound to the monotony of work and monogamy, with the dawning of death ever present in the background, evermore looming and real. The presence of death is probably (I can't speak from experience) is certainly a strong feature of retirement when you can look back further with regret, than you can forward with hope.
Marriage and "settling down" is an existential quagmire and, quite frankly, looks to be a soul crushing existence that I wish to avoid.

You must be really fun at parties.

Why would anyone want that though? Because its a stable state of living?

I've had relationships, one about as serious as they get short from marriage and children.

It's just not for me. I like women but I like freedom more. I've been going celibate and without beatification for the last five years and it's been great to be honest. Once you stop tricking people into wanting to fuck you you realise how much energy you have been spending on it.

>You're not as smart as you think you are
oh i know user, i know.

The girls and women with whom I've had romantic relationships never felt as strongly for me as I felt about them, and when I'd discover this characteristic, the relationships would whither; however, I found a girl unlike any other girl I'd dated or known, and she makes me happy, and I make her happy, and we both love each other fully. My heart sings for her, and hers for mine. We talk about our feelings, and that was something I'd never really done in a relationship, for I'd wrongfully believed that expressing such personal, calamitous, feelings was not a thing for man to do; my desire to share with her these feelings came from, what for me was, a profound understanding that I would never have the relationship---the very traditional (power) dynamic of a man and his woman---if I didn't express my thoughts regarding myself, her, and our love, and because of my expression, it is that--everything that I would want in a relationship. I am a happy and thankful to God for a woman who can fulfill me wholly, emotionally, and spiritually.

With each new day I am filled with joy and love that the woman I love loves me in return. I'd encourage any user who is seeking their soulmate to express themselves honestly and not settle for a woman who doesn't share your fundamental principles regarding love, life, and a relationship. To find a woman like this is to unchain oneself from the tremendously vapid and secular tethers of of this world.

God speed, my brothers in Christ and literature

aren't my dreams about love and sex more fantastical and more exciting than the actual thing?

christmas morning was never as good as the restless dreams you had the night before. christmas night and the days after meant even less. the unopened package was an object of pure, unearthly bliss. the freshly opened package was an object of fulfilled fantasy. the new toy after a few hours of playing was nothing but plastic molded into a lie.

is there a reason why i have to perform the animal act in order to achieve mental fulfillment? that's my blessing as a human, that i can escape my baseness. animals physically fuck all day long. the mental aspect is what they lack and it's why they can't enjoy sex in a higher sense.

I can't answer that question, and I don't believe that any of us can answer it because it's a matter concerning your heart and head and no one else's; however, it strikes me that in order to answer your questions, you must first love and be loved back, for without knowing love, how can you forsake it?

shut up

I guess I've made a conscious decision. I have a hard time connecting with people, and I've convinced myself I'd just make a gf miserable in the long run. My life is just tolerable enough that I see no reason to change anything anyway.

>Because its a stable state of living?
I thought about that as I wrote my earlier reply and i agree. I think people dislike the idea of uncertainty in their daily lives and that's what provides a natural disposition to the idea of a stable married life, even before a person meets THE ONE. Nonetheless, it still makes me cringe whenever someone tells me about how they just want to find "Mr Right" and just how idealistic their "happy marriage" would be, especially when life is not certain, and in no way as straight forward as people may wish it. The death of loved ones make you realise that very quickly indeed.

Only when I'm intoxicated desu.

Love is a meme.

Well said.

Fug

I was brought up in a religious household but I more or less dropped it all during high school and college. Sometimes I wish I had just stayed a good Christian kid and met a nice Christian girl and settled down with her. If just feels too late for me now, I dunno. I'm not sure if I believe in God and even if I do I'm not sure to what extent at all he cares about us or to what extent Christianity as a religion is actually god's will or just made up by humanity. I don't flat out reject it but to me being a full and proper Christian requires an extraordinary amount of faith, and sadly I just don't have that.

Good for you man, I'm happy for you.

I got married. I'm 25 years old but I've always been pretty conservative I guess and my girlfriend is someone I will always care about. She admitted when we spoke about it once that she isn't really interested in the whole "date various people in your 20s then settle down in your 30s" thing and so I asked her to marry me and we were wed this February gone. I guess we're still in the honeymoon period but still, I've had to focus on finding us an apartment to share and so on so my writing has taken second place, plus I'm just too happy right now to write anything that isn't more terrible than it would otherwise be. She supports my ambition and has said she is happy for me to take a year off working to focus on writing and that if we have to go without for that time and only have one wage coming in she's ok with it. She really is special. You won't imagine my surprise each morning when I wake up and realize she doesn't exist IRL.

i could be in a relationship if i really put in the effort but the truth is i'd rather be alone...which is kind of awful, but it's like i just can't bring myself to go on with the endless texting and phonecalls and boring datenight shit where u go out and blow money on overpiced yet mediocre food in manhattan or whatever, it's all such a god damn chore, and for what? to have someone to talk to? that's what the internet is for...to have someone to make u ejaculate by rubbing ur penis? yeah, pounding punani is better than wacking off, but not that much better to be honest, i don't know my man, my hearts not in it, i just can't take the effort needed to entertain women with constant attention and shit

I've always had a need to withdraw, and be alone. The problem is that I didn't know back then to balance it, so I sought solitude and got it, and it turned sour, into loneliness, and now I can't get out.

Read Alan watts. Its perfect for your situation

only one girl did i ever date that texting her every morning and through the day was just something i did naturally because i liked her, but then one day i just stopped and never texted her again, i don't know what the fuck my problem is but one day i was just over it, i guess i felt like she was taking me for granted even though i was putting in way more effort for than any girl i ever met in my life, so i just stopped communicating with her, blocked her number and never saw her again.

You can only want what you don't have.

to be perfectly honest with you fucking is so much more fun that wackin it, although it's weird because the actual orgasm may or may not be as good as one you carefully teased out yourself over some internet porn, but it's just such a good feeling afterwards, assuming the chick is hot and u didn't get drunk and fuck a fat blob from a dive bar that is...but even though i readily acknowledge sex is pretty damn great i just don't feel like putting in the effort to get it regularly, but i guess it's like lsd is fucking mindblowing shit but i'm not gonna go out of my way to buy some, but if someone offers me i'll take it, maybe

>i'd just make a gf miserable in the long run.
I can definitely relate to this and it's also a big part of why i reject relationships.