Green Wars Episode IV: A New Grope (John Green hate quarantine)

I usually wait until there's already a couple of threads about him, but what the fuck. You know the drill, Veeky Forums. Gimme some of your best memes. Anything about John Green should go in this thread. Shitposts are welcome. Non-shitposts are also welcome. You don't even have to hate the guy. Just come on in and make yourself a nice cup of coffee. There's creamer and sugar somewhere around here as well, if you're not fine with having it black. I think Janice left some donuts somewhere, too. Might be in one of the drawers. Yeah, I know, that's a dumb place to put a box of donuts, but you don't know Janice. She's fucking crazy.

Let the pedophilia accusations and fake quotes begin.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=79MCLukoIWQ
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swedish_slave_trade
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swedish_overseas_colonies
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swedish_colonization_of_the_Americas
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

>326 replies and 50 images omitted. Click here to view.

bumpin for hatred.

>John Green

Can I take the "I-don't-really-give-a-fuck-as-long-as-this-guy-does-noy-make-an-effort-to-not-let-me-live-my-life" policy?

>Just come on in and make yourself a nice cup of coffee.
OP here, in retrospect I should have said cereal, sorry for not studying up on my memes.

Sure ya can. I don't really want you to pretend you hate the guy just so you can post in this thread. These threads are mainly about containment. It's not so much about creating a horde so much as it's about taming the horde that already exists.

Been looking forward to doing my literature class thinking that at a higher level it would be enjoyable.

Teacher goes around the class asking what the best book we've read in the last year was

'I haven't read a book in the last year'

'Paper towns, it made me cry'

chorus; 'I love John Green'

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

What's your problem with this guy? He writes books for teenage girls.
You aren't his demographic, so why even bother?

Who even is this guy? All I ever heard about him are memes and shitposts.

The problem is that these girls end up reading exclusively shitty John Green like novels, and then hold up his shit as actual literature

Never study literature in a university setting.

...

pedophilia accusations? wtf

>studying lit at uni
you asked for this, you'll have autistic profs and 99% of people on the course will be YA reading filth

These guys are correct, I study lit in a uni setting and every day is a struggle to contain my autism as people talk about liking John Green without the shadow of irony.
Either that or it's propagandist trite like Jung Chang's Wild Swans, and then there's the odd dude who reads Tolkien and actually tries to get people to talk about him in a literature class, but at least our prof is cool and would never dream about making us read any shit like that.

It's like on one hand there's a lot of cute girls on philosophy and psychology and those, but then on the other hand most of them are plebs. If it had been different I'd probably have gone with literature instead of the autistic STEM I'm doing.

i recently had to take a trip to another city with a few fellow students, amongst them was a very extroverted girl who I lived with
she looked very cheerful, a bit like some ancient high priestess, and guess what - she absolutely adored the fault in our stars, john green the whole thing
could it be you here have such a great resentment toward the John because of a dire lack of high priestess adoration? just thinking out loud ;)

I recently dropped out (got expelled, really) from a literature course on uni and I can second your anecdote. Though in my class the most popular shit wasn't Green but the motherfucking Hunger Games.

>high priestess
Are you autistic?

>Hunger Games
Literally a literary clássìc

>she looked very cheerful, a bit like some ancient high priestess

go back to playing magic the gathering for christ's sake

this is how green apologists write

What the fuck kind of backwards ass uni do you go to?
I don't know anyone in my lit class who likes John Green, not even the girls you'd expect.
And the professors fucking loath popular lit like crime novels.
We have one who bashes them every other lesson, calling them lesser with a look og ironic disgust, i like him a lot.

...

what cunt you in?

Literally 10/10 post.

Some norwegian uni, that's why hating crime novels is more a thing than John Green.

the man recommends Marlon James to 16 year old girls, I don't know how one could have a hateboner whenever he shows up (except because of, you know, the meme)
youtube.com/watch?v=79MCLukoIWQ

also recommends Willa Cather and Marilynne Robinson. It was way worse when the kids liked Twilight and whatnot

Vidste ikke Norge var så baseret.

How can one man look and act so gay and retarded.

I'm not sure if he's the one who's influenced all those plebeian girl booktubers or if they influenced him.

This reminds me that pic related has the most memeable book cover of all time

I actually appreciate it when people are more self-conscious about their shitposting

Same thing in Sweden, if someone said they liked John Green or anything like it they would be bashed to pulp. Our teachers keep talking about how ashamed they are that the only thing the literature the nordic countries seems to be able to read is crime fiction.

Then again: there is quite a bit of gender studies and post colonialism in our curriculum.

>Then again: there is quite a bit of gender studies and post colonialism in our curriculum
Yeah how is this not the main focus? I can't believe professors and teachers aren't riding the multi-culti dick in your cunt.

XOXO

Big difference between gender studies and feminism m8. And a even bigger one in regards to being raped by multiculturalism and learning about postcolonialism.

>Big difference between gender studies and feminism m8
Come on now Sven.

>implying postcolonialism is as illegitimate as gender studies

tel me about Sweden's colonial legacy

None of those things has anything to do with literature.

It's just fun to hate my dude. I actually don't mind his writing all that much but these threads are some of the funnest shit to look at.

This. By feeding into this market, same way with Twilight and 50 Shades of Trash, it even further dilutes what literature means in >the current year.

Sometimes I think John Green is a soft power tool of Pax Americana upon the rest of the world to implement Neoliberal capitalist ideology into our global youth

Popular lit like crime novels are bashed by everyone who doesn't read them, everyone knows and acknowledges the 'thriller' element in them, and your point is moot. Crime shit is also an older phenomenon than what we have in John Green and YA, that it hasn't reached Norway yet doesn't surprise me because it's an atavistic frozen hellhole, but in this one single matter I might envy you.

t. Dane.

If it makes you feel any better, I'm still a kissless virgin after 3< years in the humanities, so they might be cute (they're definitely plebs) but it's not gonna matter anyway if you don't try for it.

It will make actually great literature even better though, so godspeed to all you future lit fic writers out there

No, they are both the same, both are mocked. And the YA wave has obviously reached all of scandinavia.
It's just that making fun of crime is bigger, because it's a very big in Norway.
And i think you underestimate how old YA _actually_ is.

Teenage girls don't deserve to read.

What I'm saying is that even middle-aged housewives that seem to make up the bulk of the crime shit market usually admit that crime shit is, to some extent, mass-produced, cliche garbage.
What I feel is happening now is John Green getting a pass just because his YA isn't dressed up in high fantasy/futurism (which I also read growing up) and because girls today choose to relate to something obviously meant for ages 13-17.

But good for you if you've never come across a 20+ person reading John Green.

you did it, they bit. good effort.

Is it terrible that I like a handful of his books? I know they're shit but I still enjoy reading them for some reason.

I'm well aware he's an asslord, though.

Nothing wrong with having a guilty pleasure.
Sometimes even mediocrity can stroke you right

But you could say that about YA in general. After all, it's meant to be consumed, not critiqued.

the way he says islam pisses me off so much

I study English Literature and French at uni. Some of the stuff is okay: you need to know what courses to pick. I went for Modernism, Romanticism and Shakespeare because I knew I'd find them interesting, and stayed the fuck away from the Gender and Sexuality Course and the one about Nation and Identity and Colonialism. I assumed (rightly-) that the latter courses would be full of people I'd find unbearable and on topics and books that I'd have no interest in

literally looks like he's getting his prostate massaged. how do you read that in public?

SENSORY PROSE

reposting an excerpt i posted earlier in the critique from the story i'm writing about john green's adventures.

visne me humbert aut iohannes appellasse - asked john a look most spooked on his face - forsooth - he continued - if you want the former, please come youngo - cereal was on his mind - pour your milk if you dig | else get out of the breakfast isle please. the girl looked at john | a spooked man she did see | and walked towards him.

*in the critique thread

This was the best fucking thing ive ever seen, please tell me there's more

Thank god you've been able to articulate this alarming problem. The opinions of teenage girls about literature are really something that we all should care about, as it is really having a negative effect on everything that matters.

Put your resentment of girls leftover from high school somewhere else.

Those teenage girls become adults. Many will be mothers, some will be English teachers. Do you have any evidence to suggest their mindset will change?

One of the great thinkers of our time.

>You don't even have to hate the guy. Just come on in and make yourself a nice cup of coffee. There's creamer and sugar somewhere around here as well, if you're not fine with having it black.
This is the comfiest hate thread I've ever seen

Come for the coffee, stay for the cereal.

John Green is the king of cultural decline in the west.
By calling his league of mindless zombie fans 'nerd fighters' and associating them with intelligence, he has ensured that legitimately intelligent people will grow to resent the society that no longer values them and cease to engage in prosocial or important work.
Without admiration as an incentive to achieve, the smart people of the west will become cynical NEETs and serial killers.
All because of Johnthony 'the Meme' Mungreen.
tldr: John Green is a KGB funded cultural demoraliser.

...

Sure they do: the history of who writes books and why is part of literary science. And surely literary history must include the 50% (okay, a little less than that for women) of the population that did read and write but is not part of our canon.

And as far as non western literature goes: oral literature is literature. Nothing magical happens when something is written down, which is not to say that non-westerners can't write, but... y'know

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swedish_slave_trade
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swedish_overseas_colonies
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swedish_colonization_of_the_Americas

You don't think we only read Swedish books do you? Colonialism changed/changes the world, it's not isolated to a few countries. Postcolonialism is about bringing forth marginalized groups and not accepting western canon as the only canon (that's not to say that it's not the best canon, but just ignoring all other literature is ignorant)

can't even fathom all these layers of irony.