What's the absolute drunkest you have ever been?

My pants were down to piss but the vomit got to me first, so I kneeled down in front of the toilet and the force of my projectile heaves apparently pushed against my full bladder and I pissed all over the floor. Like an inch of standing urine, my shoes were wet when I stood up

This was at a friend's house and I have no memory of cleaning it up. They've never mentioned it to me so I'm hoping I did but who knows

Drinked 2,5 bottles of rum around 4 pm in less than 1 hour, wake up in my house the other day at 6 pm.

4 x 750mL of vodka over 5 or 6 days. I had been drinking most days a week for about 6 years. But, I was also only 115 lbs@ 5'6", so, tolerance didn't make up THAT much for being a small dude.

By the last fifth I would usually only wake up, still VERY drunk, chug gatorade while eating some frozen meal, and start drinking half-shots chased with ice water, and keep that up for maybe 2 hours before I'd blackout and presumably pass out again.

That was the first time the hangover (which is already mini-withdrawal) went into a territory I'd actually call full-blown alcohol withdrawal. Tremors, couldn't keep water down for long (though some must have absorbed), cramps so bad I couldn't open my clenched fist or jaw half the time, puked and shat blood, etc. Probably also lasted 5 or 6 days.

Drank a whole bunch of Newcastle as a kid and woke up in my own vomit in my room. Apparently I drove myself home. Vomit smelled like it.
Haven't been blackout drunk since.

It's a tie between being handcuffed to a friend and trying to cut my hand off with a knife in order to get out of it; being thrown out of a bar for "trying to summon satan"; or attending the majority of a friend's birthday party in nothing but a bathrobe.

>5'6",
when will you learn

no bully pls

>when will you learn

Learn what?

I've been sober for six months and this is the kind thing I remind myself of every time I even think about drinking. The withdrawals are so fucking bad and I did that to myself so many fucking times. Just calling in to work and spending the week shaking, sweating, hallucinating, immobile, etc.

Fuck that.

I haven't been seriously drunk before, but one time I took 8 xans in junior year of high school and blacked out for like 5 hours. I woke up lying on the floor in my friend's kitchen.

Was working on rooftops in newyork for Sprint friends met in williamsburg gave me a hip flask said start drinking at 2pm they picked me up after i finished the next roof in manhattan we drank from 430 to like 10 blacked out. Woke up in california with one of them on a roof doing my job. Apparently I got an email about a new contract in cali one of them had skymiles and work paid for hotels. I was told we flew first class drinking vodka and redbull landed in time to get to one of the places and thanks to food delivery and uber we got enough water and protein to sober up and get the field work done.

I lost consciousness on one coastline and regained consciousness on another one. According to friend I was just as charming and funny even if I was slurring my words "jusss a lil bid" I blacked out straight up and remember nothing after like 930pm. Based on the story corroborated by 4 he asked me what I was supposed to do and took care of the details since he was always a lightweight. Got me to do whatever i needed to do in california via muscle memory while he checked in rental cars and shit. I remember eating waffles with an entire goddamn chicken fried. Like we roscoes or something it was not an 8 piece it was a whole chicken deep fried and like 3 belgian waffles between us. The paper work was a bitch that evening but apparently we were hollering at every lady on the red eye and the sky waiter just kept bringing us more vodka and redbull since I was "spinning the dopest of yarns."

I miss that job.

>fall in with a group of randos and end up clubbing in an unfamiliar part of town
>kicked out of nightclub for dual fisting drinks
>call uber but too drunk to find him so just get in a cab without cancelling the ride and turn my phone off when he phones again
>tell driver my destination and promptly pass out
>fading in and out of consciousness while trying to give the driver directions (telling him to turn left even though I have no idea where I am)
>don't remember getting out of the cab or going up to my apartment but wake up in the morning fully clothed on top of the blankets with a $75 cab fare on my credit card

you sound like jim fucking lahey

I don't know who that is but I will say that I'm never uneventfully drunk.

Ran back and Belly flopped and destroyed two beer pong tables along with my zune rip and broke part of my tooth. Had no idea and took my zune to best buy and was told the extra warranty did not cover that.

Never buy warranties for electronics is what I learned.

What's the absolute drunkest you have ever been?

If you actually remember it, then you're already wrong.

lol'd

Trying to get a ride from a k9 unit in korea

Almost died from alcohol poisoning.

how much did you drink?

They hold a big parade/float contest during Laotian New Year in Dallas and they pass out shots of Hennessey and Martells like crazy, all the beer is free and old grandmas are passing out blunts to every body as we walk four blocks around this Laotian temple. I was slammed after only two blocks of walking the parade route (which took about an hour) and I passed out as soon as we were done with the fourth (and final) block. Woke up about 45 minutes later ate some pho and I felt just fine, so I drank a bunch more and eventually completely blacked out. Woke up back home 90 miles away the next morning, girlfriend drove us back home without a license half drunk. Was fun as fuck and would do it all over again.

I drank a bottle of tequila and ended up at the beach the next morning. It's 100 km away and I have no idea how I got there. According to my friends one of them dropped me near my home on the way to his own home, so I must've wandered off.

My wallet and phone and everything were still on my person and I didn't seem to be hurt, just tired.

I had to call a friend to pick me up. I've never drank tequila since.

I've never blacked out but I did have a 2 day hangover

I'll slew a few horrible nights

>get arrested waiting for my ride cuz I don't wanna drink and drive, get thrown in detention center where they steal my thousand dollars I was carrying and took my phone, then released me in a part of a desert I didn't know where I was, took an entire day finding my way back home
>girl runs off from party crying, i'm drunk and follow her, she runs down the highway, i follow her and every guy tries picking her up, almost get beat up at one point, i call cops drunk but my phone turned off that day (thank you)
>get a VIP party at a strip club, invite all my drinking pals, I knock out, end up outside, everyone is gone, me and one guy hike it back home
>the multiple times I missed work and almost got fired
>the times I went into work drunk and DID get fired
>got into a physical fight protecting a co-worker and the manager destroys my glasses and become blind and run away, which he chases after me in a car
>friend kicks me out of his apartment whom I lived with, spend all night and all day trying to find a place to stay

Yeah, drunk as fuck every time and every time I had consequences.
I still do stupid shit, but I restrain myself now cuz I hate dealing with all that bullshit.

.285 BA. I remember I couldn't even understand what I was saying. So that means I wasn't even making intelligible sounds.

I woke up not knowing why i am naked, why i am shivering, not knowing why i hurt so fucking much, not knowing why my conforter and rug is gon(i puked on it) and not knowing why i am vommitting. I drank a ton the night before and woke up in the most agonizing pain you can imagine.

>get drunk
>get into fight
>go home
>fuck some 6/10
>drink some more

drank a bottle of kraken rum, half a bottle of captain morgans private stock, and a couple of beers. had a friend put his fingers down my throat to purge myself. woke up the next day finding my laptop covered in piss...jesus...

I pulled a gun on a neighbor (thank God he was a good guy and didn't press charges) after drinking a bottle of 151 rum, a portion of Cold War era German gin I had saved for many years, and unknown number of glasses of heavy port wine. I weigh 160 @ 6' and had a BAL of .65. It took me 22 hours to hit baseline before being sent up to a mental facility for 2 weeks. I can honestly say that I drank myself sober: There was no hangover and I remember everything. The EMT's face is still surprisingly clear in my mind when he said the BAL %. The fact I didn't die or go into a coma has driven me to try and make something of myself since then; those were demon days.

Was just a few days ago. Decided to drink nearly a liter vodka and spent the night puking on myself in the shower for nearly 2 hours.

Oh you're the guy who hit a little girl and cried about it in the alc thread. Fuck off

Wow. How many days? You were just blacked out and kept it up enough for a plane ride, etc?

>go to minor league baseball game with suite tickets that let me get $3 beer all night
>drink a tall boy in parking lot
>drink one 12 oz tecate light before game starts
>drink one 12 oz tecate light in the third inning but chug it very fast since I was chilling with a friends bachelor party
>realize I drank the beer way too fast and feel that buzzing in your stomach before you puke, held my beer though
>knock over beer when I was getting my camera
thats when a security fag came over and said i was showing signs of being buzzed and they had to cut me off for safety. Sort of embarrassing but there was still another two hours of game play that I used to sober up during

are you a gook or just some guy near the festival

I've got the Korean alcohol allergy so I've never been drunk.
If I drink, I throw up and get hungover instantly.

>carrying 1k in cash on you
why.jpg

Drank nearly a 750ml bottle of vodka over 4 hours time the first time I got drunk. Blacked out and vomited everywhere.

I was 18 and an alcoholic. At an open bar for the first time. I drank a lot and mixed just about every alcohol you could think of. Beer, vodka, gin, whiskey, rum, etc. Anything that people would put in front of me. Plus marijuanas.

Worst experience of my life.

hope you get drawn and quartered

rip in piece sweet angel

You the guy who hit his law professor with his car after "accidentally" texting him death threats?

This sounds eerily familiar, except my fiancee had to be by my side all night as I shaked and muttered to myself in bed until I passed out. I had a similar experience with a particularly strong pot brownie. It had me crying and ranting mad lunacy all night. I had to call off work for two days after it.

This happened last Monday and is a true story.

I had a flu over the weekend but dragged my ass to work Monday morning. I lasted about 30 mins because I felt like shit and was infecting my co-workers. I jumped on the bus and went to a local mall.

When I got there, I waited for the liquor store to open at 9am. I purchased a 700ml bottle of bourbon, then walked to my nearest burger king, sat there and drank about 3/4 of it over about 2 hours.

Next I went back to the mall and found some random old guy who I got into a conversation with about life and other shit, this lasted about 2 hours. I got annoyed and left.

I then went and bought another bottle of bourbon (this was about 11.30am) and went back to BK to sip some more free refills

About 12.50pm I went to mcdonalds just outside the mall. Now I don't remember going here, I found out the next day by looking at my debit card statement.

I stayed at mcdonalds until about 2.30pm when my wife called asking where I was, since earlier in the day I had told her my boss sent me home because I was sick (she was at work too).

She was at home already, I was fucked. Why wasn't I at home? Oh shit. Better get the bus.

I got home around 4pm, 1 litre of bourbon later. I smuggled the rest inside and I don't know what really happened after that.

I was told the next day that I had a shower and when finished I walked straight out into the living room, naked, in front of my mother in law who was visiting

I am a complete failure and I hope it never happens again. The morning was fun but I've told you everything else I remember.

I'm also covered in bruises head to toe. I could have fallen over and gone into a coma or fucked myself up bad.

Anyway I don't really enjoy drinking since that happened but no doubt I will drink again one day

I don't remember how I got the bruises either. It's been a week and they're still on my body in all sorts of places

I must have fallen over heaps. The funniest shit is that I was wearing business attire as I work in am office. Imagine all the normies doing their weekday grocery shopping seeing me falling over and bashing into doorways at 10am

I am a loser

Thanks for listening ck

Its really hard for me to get super-drunk, mostly because usually I eat food when drinking and also drink a lot of water during. However.. when I do get drunk I get super rapey. I think the worst one was at a party in an apartment I used to rent with friends. One of the girls got wasted on alcohol and weed and threw up, so we got her to rest on my bed until she feels better. When the party ended I went to sleep on my bed and exchanged a few words with her to see if she was okay. Then I got super horny and started groping her boobs and trying to finger her. She resisted and I gave up, but she didnt even bother to leave and we still slept in the same bed. Felt guilty for a few days but now I just find it funny.

Another time I went to a party with this girl I just met a few days ago. There werent a lot of people so we ended up on the balcony and made out, at this point I didnt really care much about consequences and pulled her pants out exposing her butt, lifted her shirt above her tits, bent her over the balcony and fingered her some. Im pretty sure the people passing below saw is since it was the first or second floor

Your a fucked person.

It wasnt a good deed but I dont feel particularly bad. By that point she was sober and she could have left at any moment but chose not to.

At a party at my Mum's. Challenged my 6'2" rugby player cousin to a wrestle and got bodyslammed. My Mum's 50yr old friend said she was Jewish so I started ripping on Israel. She started yelling "ANTI-SEMITE!" and pointing at me. I think her son is in the IDF or something. I may have then gone full /pol/ at her for a laugh. Then I think I was dancing with her outside and tried to get off with her. I may have had sex with her in my parent's bathroom.

I gatecrashed a party and pretended I was an alien inhabiting a human body. Drank all their booze and smoked all their cigarettes. Then I jumped out of a first floor window, did a forward somersault in the garden and ran away.

Found myself running down the street trying to get to a club before it closed so I could meet a girl. I figured I looked a bit crazy so to save face I pretended I was an undercover cop and started yelling about "suspects on the move" into a "hidden mic" in my collar. While running with a pint in my hand.

Shat the bed. Pissed the bed a bunch of times.

Woke up in vomit more times than I can count, often in nightclubs or at a friend's house. Woke up completely naked on a friend's toilet, piss-soaked clothes in another room. Woke up covered in blood a few times. That's scary. Always my own blood though. Apparently one time I hit myself in the head with half a brick and knocked myself out. I still have the scar.

Woke up flat broke more times than I can count.

I'm currently 4 weeks sober.

>My Mum's 50yr old friend said she was Jewish so I started ripping on Israel. She started yelling "ANTI-SEMITE!" and pointing at me. I think her son is in the IDF or something. I may have then gone full /pol/ at her for a laugh. Then I think I was dancing with her outside and tried to get off with her. I may have had sex with her in my parent's bathroom.
that would be pretty hot if she wasnt 50 years old

>Apparently one time I hit myself in the head with half a brick and knocked myself out.
That must've looked real funny

As I was cycling (rather, swerving) home after a whole night of drinking, an obstacle got in my way and I was launched off my bike. I lost three teeth, broke one hand and almost broke another. I was almost home damnit!

My front wheel was damaged, so I had to walk home. Hospitals and night dentist were too far away for walking, I was drunk, and I had no money for a taxi, so I waited for the bleeding in my mouth to stop, and then slept. Went to dentist and hospital with public transport the next morning.

My new teeth are better than my real ones. Only expensive as fuck. I'm also happy I didn't break both hands. That would be inconvenient, and wiping my ass would be a chore.

Another time I drank all evening and night at home with friends the day before christmas. I woke up hung over and vomiting violently. I couldn't even hold water, and this went on until the evening, so I had to cancel christmas dinner with my father (told him I was sick). This was quite a low point.

completely normal to see in japan

only ever drank and been drunk two times never plan on doing it again. second time was a few months ago i drank almost 750ml of rum. i turned GTA san andreas on and started yelling the rap songs on the radio stations. i remember calling family members and harassing them for a while. somewhere yelling at rap songs i blacked out and came to sitting on the toilet shitting and puking into a broken garbage can and all over the floor. i somehow managed to get the mop and fill the mop bucket with water to mop my puke up because i didnt want everyone to come home to puke on the floor. after that i blacked out again (hopefully i had pants on because i was mopping right after shitting) and woke up in my bed don't know if someone put me there or i put myself there. never touching disgusting alcohol again i hate throwing up and i can't control myself.

Dude WEED lmFao bro why don't doctors know about WEED bor don't they know WEED cures cancer rob?

people do far worse than that m8, not condoning it though

Mind going into detail?

Fifth in an hour. Not him but was in ICU on ventilator.

Wew

.56 is my record. Should be dead.

Got PCed when i was like 17 after an almon brothers concert.

I was too drunk to piss in mcdonalds, so I went into the woods. like 1/2 a foot into the woods.

Cops grabbed me quickly, but I never gave up my bros who were equally as shitfaced and driving with weight.

I'm 35 and have never even had a beer before

You have a problem buddy

Drinking whiskey with friends
Decide to leave with my bike
Fall in the grass next to the road
Wake up 4hours later with the bike still between my legs

I got someore but I never didbreally stupid things or harmed others just silly things

You should drink a beer so you don't repeat that embarrassing shit in public like you're proud of it.

last new year was pretty bad

>drank a fifth and a half of vodka
>hit a parked car doing 30+ on my ATV
>spent the night in the hospital getting tasty activated charcoal and my broken color bone and left arm fixed up
>worst hangover then you can possibly imagine
>arrested after being released from the hospital for drunk driving and property damage

>what i was drinking that night

What's your story? Muslim? Mormon? Bad experience with drunk friend or family?

There was a study done on a tribe of little monkeys at a tropical holiday resort. They had regular easy access to alcohol as a result of them hanging around an open air bar and people leaving drinks unattended.

The researchers discovered that the tribe of monkeys had the same proportions of teetotalers, moderate drinkers and binge drinkers as human societies that have alcohol. Weirdly, the handful of binge drinking monkeys were acknowledged by the other monkeys as the alphas of the group.

Found a link:
theguardian.com/science/punctuated-equilibrium/2011/apr/26/1

to be fair this is what you get for having bad taste in vodka

The first time I ever got drunk, I wandered around the host's house talking about Death Grips and explaining the chemical reactions in our bodies when we get drunk. I was then promptly sick and carried home by 3 friends, where I was sick two more times.

Pretty mild by many people's standards, but I'm off to uni soon, and I know that my alcoholism will get much worse when I'm not living at home.

Like jesus christ, selling a bottle of wine for £3.50 should be a crime. And when I went on holiday in france, you could get a litre of wine in a plastic bottle for two euros.

So, Deadpool style, Constantine style and... Got nothing for that third one.

Fucking ripoff. Sue those cunts.

Not that user but Russian Standard isn't that bad. In the same price range I reckon Stoli is better, but Absolut is worse.

The bruises are from your mother in law. She likes it rough.

>freshman year college
>black out at party
>wake up in dorm naked
apparently the party got raided and i started throwing up everywhere continuously on the way to the car, throwing up on the car ride, threw up and pissed outside dorm, passed out in bathroom locked with pants down in pool of vomit, hallmates (girls) climbed over door to unlock and drag me out and put me in bed

dont go to college

Not the drunkest ive been but probably my most embarrassing experence decided to case race some friends while i had a litre bottle of gin and they had a 30 rack of beers. Ended up puking in there toilet which then i clogged. I locked myself in the bathroom and passed out woke up woth soaking wet pants then after investagating found out thwy werw covered in puke and a friend had to carry me into my house while i was covered in piss vomit water...good times

I'm 23. Had some champagne at the party at the end of 8th grade (didn't like it), had teaspoons of wine at communion, might've tasted beer as a kid.

Not Christian anymore, but I still don't drink. Probably because I don't go out with friends and because I don't feel like starting.

My big sister drinks, but I heard no interesting drunk stories from her.

Are you a weeb?
I'm interested to know why people do that in japan

no alcohol tastes good, you dont drink it for the taste - just for gettin whacky with pals. then you drink it for the taste once its acquired

No. She doesn't even speak English

I'd be inclined to agree, but lager like Sol is pretty yummy lad

Not sure if it's to do with America, or just the people on this site, but I always find myself surprised by people's attitude to alcohol. Hear in Bongladesh, it isn't uncommon to go out drinking several nights a week, or to drink so much you vomit. Yet I always see people here talking about one time they drank a fifth of vodka or another isolated time they got alcohol poisoning or have no recollection of the evening. I can't even recall the number of times I've sat with my friends in the morning, collaboratively piecing together the events of the evening from the small amounts each of us can remember. Most people tend to drink a fair bit before they go out too, i.e. 6 units or more.

First time I got super wasted

>drinking glass after glass of Crème de menthe, beers, vodka and shit
>start arguing with some dude from my class about nothing, he's half german half asian or something so he's pretty tanned
>get super pissed and call him a nigger nazi in front of a bunch of people
>luckily he's also too wasted to give a shit
>try to throw a full can of cider through a glass door for some reason, don't break it
>black out and go sit in the middle of the road outside the house at like 3am
>somehow get home

Couple of weeks ago
>barely ate all day
>black out after 5 or 6 pints of cider
>start talking to some old fuck about how everything must have been better in his day
>bar locks up and start lighting up cigarettes inside
>go full /pol/ and start ranting to my mate and the barman about Trump even though I'm in Ireland so who gives a fuck?
>spit across the bar and land it in the sink, barman is disgusted
>kick parked cars on the way home, pass out beside an ATM
>wake up the next day still drunk as fuck with almost no recollection of any of this
>keep drinking all day
>puke blood that night

I've only drank once since then.

In Ireland, on a work trip. We all went out for drinks on my last evening; I wasn't in the mood, but for some reason decided to start drinking whiskey.

I eventually found myself outside of my hotel at 5:00am drinking yet more whiskey with a trauma surgeon (there was a conference at the hotel). I had to be up at 7am for my flight home.

Thank fuck my co-worker was driving, but he had to stop the car every half hour so I could vomit at the side of the road.

That ended up being a two day hangover. How the fuck I didn't die I don't know.

I don't drink Whiskey when I'm out, now.

I'm from regional Australia so when my friends and I were drinking together it was often in a field or out of the way so nothing too bad would really happen.

Recently I went out drinking with friends for one of their birthday's and got completely hammered, we then went back to that friends place and drank more. I don't remember falling asleep or even the topic of sleeping being a thing so I have no idea how long I was kicking on. Wake up a couple of hours later still drink and now wet. Realize I must have pissed myself and got the fuck out without thinking. It's been a couple of weeks and I still feel really bad about it, I was sick for three days though.

The most fucked I've probably been was when I first moved to the city with friends. We had a house warming and I drank 1-2 litres of vermouth, put a psychedelic in my mouth and then proceed to drink until the sun rose. At that point I was going to bed but wanted a night cap so I started swigging a friends ~60% straight until I fell off the seat I was on and fell asleep. I woke up a couple of hours later having used my pile of puke and the cold tile floor (that I'd obviously vomited in my sleep) as a pillow. May hair was dripping wet with it, which was a bit much.

Honestly, it's making me sad seeing my friends drink heavily less often. Hangovers really start to rear their horns at 23 I guess.

>that extra arm coming out of the ear
sides in heaven.

very

Woke up in the spare room of my dad's house once with no recollection of how I got there or what happened the night before. Had bruised legs and a stamp on my hand from a club I'd never heard of, I could vaguely remember puking at one point but that was it. Turns out I got split up from my friends, was stumbling around by myself completely wasted, and got picked up by some charity workers who called my dad and got him to pick me up at like 4am

Fuck man, I've been there. Drank an entire liter of sailor jerry over the course of the night a couple months back. Hadn't drank much for a couple weeks before that, so I lost my tolerance with realizing.

Woke up the next day at 6pm, half naked in bed, and still drunk. Scrapes, bruises, cuts and soreness I couldn't explain. Piss in my cup. Sick, dehydrated, and staving.

I realized that I hadn't consumed any thing but rum and coke for 24 hours. So I stumbled downstairs, grab some dry toast and water. Promptly puke it up. After about an hour or two of cold sweats, shivering, dry heaves, dizziness, and general misery, I decided that consiousness is no place for me so I crawled back to bed to ride it out.

i can't remember

You sound irritating