"He ate the last of the eggs and wiped the plate with the tortilla and ate the tortilla and drank the last of the...

don't beat yourself up you can always make another thread famalam, Veeky Forums can never have too many John Green threads

hit a nerve?

You don't need to be a chef to know shit tastes bad.

Hes right though. Its like a music """""""""critic"""""""" like fantano with very surface level knowledge and no talent shitting on musicians and doing the liberal schlick of pulling this meme argument out

Thank you, OP, for proving what a dumpster-tier author Cormac McCarthy is.

Literally can't into syntax or flow.

Cormac McCarthy is looking good these days.

Good to know I can't dislike any songs until I can play sweet home Alabama.

Hey, it's good enough for teenagers; what were you expecting?

It's good enough for the middle school level. Don't get ahead of yourself.

>le "you cant criticize!" author-artist insecurity meme

said by every fake pseud ever

he must moisturize

>previously read his classic breakfast quote and scoff at what shit writing it is
>see this quote and think "Really, that's pretty good. The only reason Veeky Forums won't like it is because it's John Green."
>tfw my honest taste has been shown to be superb by this thread

shes right you know

are you published then?

That hurts my ears, even it is through sub-vocalization.

This particular example doesn't flow very well imho, but I think McCarthy uses polysyndeton well, and it definitely makes the prose flow better, and sound better to me.

It's Biblical style prose. I recognized it as McCarthy immediately upon reading it, because he's pretty much the only major author who strives so strongly to emulate Biblical prose.

Except Fantano has actually played, there's videos of it, and they are very good

>le quote respected authors alongside a picture of john greene bait
seriously just FUCK OFF
it wasn't funny the first time and it isn't funny off

i hope youre baiting

when is someone going to IRL fuck with John Green?

tired of this rage being impotent, someone at least do some meme shit under his nose at a book signing, like put "haha just kidding, kill yourself you hack" on the first page of his book where he might sign it or whatever if you're unwilling to go to jail.

Why does he use the word "and" so often?
I speak English as a second language and even I can tell how shitty his prose really is.

Don't get the wrong idea, there's an exception to everything. It's entirely possible that someone can write a decent, well-cadenced sentence broken up with multiple "and" conjunctions. John Green was blessed with enough autism to remember historical dates and events and make it digestible for pseuds through bottom-of-the-barrel meme humor YouTube videos. Unfortunately, the "omg I passed world history 1 thx 2 u! ur like so witty 2" comments, thumbs ups, and views came flooding with such ferocity that he ventured into making overpriced fire kindling.

Can't say I hate the fellow at his core, in fact I might have even gotten along great with him. I mostly hate the person he's become: a living meme sustained by praise and money.

But he didn't write this

Memes made flesh

Where's the passage about NMH?

Corncob "tortillas" Yecarthy isn't respected by anybody but dusty texans and pseuds

t. pleb

That's cute coming from an admirer of Corncob "tortillas" Yecarthy

north field mount hermon?

t. pseud

This argument only works if you're ok with never being able to say something is good either.

No u

That's also the entirety of Less Than Zero. All those fucking "and"s.

Story and character are more important than whatever purple prose you're writing

pleb

>getting this mad

Gerard Reve

pleb

Enjoy your ban

This is a good example of what I call the andelope: a breathless string of simple declarative statements linked by the conjunction "and". Like the "evocative" slide-show and the Consumerland shopping-list, the andelope encourages skim-reading while keeping up the appearance of 'literary' length and complexity. But like the slide-show (and unlike the shopping-list), the andelope often clashes with the subject matter, and the unpunctuated flow of words bears no relation to the methodical meal that is being described.

who is this? I recognise her but the name escapes me

No but i know you're baiting

pleb

Laughing my lmao off at this

>the Biblical prose style meme
We know. We've all heard it before. You can't criticize it because it's shitty on purpose. We know.

So if a plane crashes due to the pilot you can't say "hey you did a pretty bad job crashing that plane" because you haven't flied a plane yourself?

>Laughing my laughing my ass off off at this
>What

4u

pleb

Its not the same when you claim to have a better grasp of doing what they do.

If he managed to crash the place with no survivors I'd say he did a good job

That thought fills me with glee.

>Ad strawmanem

Just because he's not even wrong doesn't mean he's right

>Let me imply that you're a southerner for saying this
>Naturally I'm also implying that all southerners are dumb.

yeah no. Playing a couple of g chords on cover songs is not talent or creativity.

Well there is a difference between judging the merit of art through self knowledge anf applicable creativity or talent and judging whether or not an object hit the ground

Its prosaic. The only reason anyone can get away with a sentence structure with so many 'ands' in it is because of Hemingway but even he would probably kick John Greens was if he had met him.

>im terminally retarded

I'm sorry to hear that, user.

Sigh. So much effort. So little knowledge

>yeah no. Playing a couple of g chords on cover songs is not talent or creativity.

How do you know? Could I have signed proof of all the bands you've played in and hit albums you've released?

how come no one replied about the qt

But Less Than Zero is mostly written as a strung-out internal monologue, so I can excuse it there even if it does get overbearing

seriously underrated post

t. James Wood

Anyone who posts john green on here or Veeky Forums should be perma-banned

Fantano played bass in a Lightning Bolt rip-off, it's more complex than a couple of G chords or whatever

he didn't fly so good

There are multiple ways to make a plane hit the ground and some of them are immeasurably better than others.

Scully on the Hudson? Gr8 M8

Overloaded Cessna stalling on takeoff? Hope they had life insurance.

If you can't appreciate the dexterity and apprehension of serious critics, you're kind of lost here. A lot of philosophers speculated on aesthetics without creating visual art of their own, but their speculations were well reasoned, emulated, and thus set (high) standards for artists later to follow. You have absolute freedom to claim a position on something, whether it be comprehensive or ignorant.

You hacks will condemn people for critiquing some pop-lit author but suck the dicks of prolific authors who never ran as politicians, yet still condemned the state and its authorities.

>All those Ands
>Mentioning Tortilla

He was definitely reading Mc Carthy around that time. No way he was not.

He also doesn't sound like a 15 year old writing for the first time

That's some good deduction you little genius

>"Why are breakfast foods breakfast foods?" I asked them. "Like, why don't we have curry for breakfast food?"
>"Hazel, eat."
>"But why?" I asked. "I mean, seriously: How did scrambled eggs get stuck in with breakfast exclusivity? You can put bacon on a sandwich without anyone freaking out. But the moment your sandwich has an eggs, boom, it's a breakfast sandwich."
>Dad answered with his mouth full. "When you come back, we'll have breakfast for dinner. Deal?"
>"I don't want to have 'breakfast for dinner,'" I answered, crossing knife and fork over my mostly full plate. "I want to have scrambled eggs for dinner without this ridiculous construction that scrambled eggs-inclusive meal is breakfast even when it occurs at dinnertime."
>"You've gotta pick your battles in this world, Hazel," my mom said. "But if this is the issue you want to champion, we stand behind you."
>"Quite a bit behind you," my dad added, and Mom laughed.
>Anyway, I knew it was stupid, but I felt kind of bad for scrambled eggs.

Can't be real...

The funny thing is that these threads would be much more effective if they simply used authentic John Green excerpts like that one. They are fucking baffling.

I really hate that man

>breakfast food
>breakfast exclusivity
>ridiculous construction
>we stand behind you
>quite a bit behind you

Who would ever, ever say these words/phrases?

John Green in one of his four minute vlogbrothers videos where he talks in run on sentences really fast in one breath and in a pseudo-sarcastic inflection.

Me and my buddy saw John Green at Rutgers University one time. He was having a luncheon with a couple of professors who had invited him to speak at some function or another, and we yelled over his way that his books were trash. He just kind of looked our way, said nothing, and continued with his meal. Like a cuck.

is it fair to blame the miscommunication between men and women and why wars happen on john green's writing. I think so.

>“That's always seemed so ridiculous to me, that people want to be around someone because they're pretty. It's like picking your breakfast cereals based on color instead of taste.”
>― John Green, Paper Towns

Why is he so obsessed with breakfast cereal?

breakfast cereal is the most revealing cultural trait in this century. he understands this, and so do the critics.

He is right tho.

It's a metaphor, you see.

Nice bait, OP.

>read my own work and get annoyed that I used the same word twice in one paragraph
>think I'm never going to make it
>see this shit
>mfw

>Millennial Intellectuals

“I'm in love with you," he said quietly.

"Augustus," I said.

"I am," he said. He was staring at me, and I could see the corners of his eyes crinkling. "I'm in love with you, and I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I'm in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we'll ever have, and I am in love with you"

"A few light taps upon the pane made him turn to the window. It had begun to snow again. He watched sleepily the flakes, silver and dark, falling obliquely against the lamplight. The time had come for him to set out on his journey westward. Yes, the newspapers were right: snow was general all over Ireland. It was falling on every part of the dark central plain, on the treeless hills, on the Bog of Allen and, farther westward, softly falling into the dark mutinous Shannon waves. It was falling, too, upon every part of the lonely churchyard on the hill where Michael Furey lay buried. It lay thickly drifted on the crooked crosses and headstones, on the spears of the little gate, on the barren thorns. His soul swooned slowly as he heard the snow falling faintly through the universe and faintly falling, like the descent of their last end, upon all the living and the dead." (Joyce, The Dead)

He used falling 6 times, snow 3 times, and hill twice and this is considered one of the best paragraphs ever written

Is this actually real?

youtube.com/watch?v=ekoDt_uxb_E
>can't tell parents they're shitty parents because you don't have a kid yourself

he writes for teenage girls and in doing so has rotted his brain down to that level, if it had ever ascended beyond it in the first place.

>Google it
>it's fucking real