Describe the plot of your favorite book in 3 sentences

Describe the plot of your favorite book in 3 sentences.

I can't go first because I don't read books (not yet anyway).

>I don't read books (not yet anyway)
You're not missing much, bucko.

To make this fun I'll make you guess.
Fake retelling of a fake movie by a blind dude and a junkie.

Narrator befriends a guy who stole his friends love interest. Said friend then commited suicide, leaving the guy with a guilt-ridden life until he also offs himself.

I don't exist.

I will never be written.

The end (or is it just the beginning).

Easy: "House of Leaves" by Mark Z. Danielewski.

look ma, no arms and no legs.

no vision too.

war sucks man, so why dont you kill me?

sun also rises? i never read it, but i think thats what it is

easy johnny got his gun

Alright, something harder.
Gods get fucked around by a kid and some doors.

Kokoro

wasnt sure how many people read the book.
fat guy fights fire, but not really. has loads of money. something like a communist, a retard, or both.

Nah, it's

>man fucks woman
>man fucks and marry his boss daughter
>man gets a death sentence because he tried to kill the first woman

Badass soldier assume leading roles in wars around the universe. He is afraid of chairs. The chair is people.

The man who wasn't there?

It's a book, not a film. A classic book by the way.

I'll do a bunch of easy ones in one word
WHALE
VHEISSU
MAIL
IRELAND
BUREAUCRACY
ROACH
BULLFIGHTS
DEATH
TENNIS
PHONIES
AUTHORITARIANISM

moby dick
ulysses
the trial
metamorphosis
infinite jest

WW2 vet has a fat wife.
Aliens kidnap him.
Nothing really matters.

so it goes

Sexual crimes
Confusing lines
A wife's letter that rhymes

A boy is born on mars.
Boy is taken back to earth after growing up on mars.
Man founds new religion based on martian ideology but is killed for it.

Sounds like Dick

I'll do it in one.

Enterpreneur has this get-rich-quick scheme before those were even a thing, and meets a lot of despicable, yet humane characters along the way.

leonardo dicaprio and spider man?

Hint:
All surnames are funny but you will never get it.

Stranger in a Strange Land

Dead Souls?

tastes like it too

Yep.

dead souls by Gogol

Yeah, as I said already. Fuck I love Gogol. There are two types, I think, of eternal authors: those who exist outside of time and those who always seems to catch the zeitgeist. Gogol is the latter to the point where it is almost unbelievable.

Man is taken to prison. Wants to play a game against himself. Becomes completely schizo.

I can do it in one.

Guy travels around the world and complains about everything.

Céline

The Room?

I don't remember the part about him being fat, but this has gotta be God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater.

I haven't read it, but An American Tragedy?

>WHALE
moby dick
>VHEISSU
v.
>MAIL
tcol49
>IRELAND
ulysses
>BUREAUCRACY
the trial
>ROACH
metamorphosis
>BULLFIGHTS
sun also rises
>DEATH
underworld
>TENNIS
ulysses
>PHONIES
catcher in the rye
>AUTHORITARIANISM
1984

how'd i do?

oh fuck i meant infinite jest for tennis haha

ah yes, the famous scene where Bloom plays Stephen at the Whataburger

No, it's Chess

Dying is scary.

Time changes, and everyone's point of view is different but the same.

Lose all attachments so you can create.

Shock treatments fix your problems.

Man plans, god laughs.

Lolita

Byron - Childe Harold

Kid finds wolf that has been fucking up his family's horses and livestock. Takes it to Mexico to release it into the mountains but it gets taken by police and forced to fight dogs until it dies. Rest of the book is boy traveling across the borders and hearing metaphysical anecdotes from wise old men

Fall in love with a whore, whore falls in love w/ me, whore dumps me, joke's on her bc she dies of tuberculosis

>Protagonist embraces the absurd conditions of life that alienate him.
>Gradually more and more dehumanized by parasitic family.
>Died along with complete rejection of his human nature by society.

Amber Spyglass?

Le Rouge et le Noir

>Queen is jealous of her husbands cow.
>She goes to war to get the cow and her army is fought off by a young hero.
>After a long war the hero dies and everyone learns to never trust a woman with power.

There is only the Thing.
Thing is God. Also Nature.
We're Nature. We're Thing.

Really easy.

What's the name of this book?

Never mind. It seems like a silly idea for a book anyway.

toes are scarce among veteran blubber-room men.
the corpusants have mercy on us all.
bloody battle in afghanistan.

There's a thing people want. They get it. It turns out it is bad for them.

infinite jest

infinite jest

DARKNESS