I'm a fucking failure Veeky Forums, i can't even crack eggs right

Can confirm. Eggs are cheap, you have to practice. You want a crack on one side and the other side to be intact. Use two hands to pull the shell open until you get good enough, then you can try one handed. Open your eggs close to the pan or the bottom of the bowl if you want a solid yolk. Sometimes the yolks just break, but store bought egg yolks are much weaker than an egg you'd get from a local producer. I have my own hens, so I rarely break yolks now.

Jesus Christ. I can't believe how pathetic people are when it comes to cooking. How is it even possible to be this bad?

>no pepper on the egg
>no butter on the toast

see me after class

What the fuck are you doing? Smashing the egg down on the edge of a pan like a fucking gorilla?

I do that and I have no problem making perfect ssu eggs this way.

>not cracking them on the edge of the counter

this

it's like shuffling a deck of cards, of course you're gonna suck at it if you only do it like once or twice a week, but then eggs are a bit less reusable than a deck of cards.

you'll get the hang of it eventually. I used to work at a place that would have me crack like 50 eggs at a time for omellete prep, sucked at first, but after a dozen tries I got the basic technique down, after a few days I could do two at once with each hand.

a little tip though, if you don't want shell fragments falling in, try not tapping it multiple times to break it open, work on getting just the right amount of force to only need to do it once.

>Smashing the egg down on the edge of a pan like a fucking gorilla?
That's what I do. I've never had any problems.

once again based ramsey has the GOAT technique.

use a flat surface then your fingers to finish it off. a rim could break the yolk.

Ee Zed cracker
youtube.com/watch?v=6e3z2H1O5zE

I prefer tapping it as many times as necessary and then putting my fingers inside the egg. Since you don't break the egg too much this way (due to using conservative force), the inner film along the shell surface will help retain most chunks that would otherwise fall.

>numb side

Don't listen to these fools, you can use these instead....they won't notice a thing

Dear lord...

I always crack eggs into another container before I put them in the pan, so if I accidentally get a shell in there I can fish it out.

I've never broken a yolk.

>tfw can get the yolk out fine but always get a bit of shell and have to scoop it up with the rest of the shell like the ultimate cooking pleb

Makes me wish I were fucking DEAD desu senpai

Soft tap on side of a bowl and then a slightly harder tap all in one fluid motion

My method: gently hit it against the edge of the counter to make a weak spot. place the tip of one thumb in the weak spot, lower the whole thing closer to the receptacle weak spot down, and pull the egg mostly apart and only slightly up and let the contents drop as the two halves pull away. Takes two hands but allows a lot of control. At no point should anything be pushed inside the egg.

Quick but light tap once or twice, tapping to much gets egg shells in the yoke. Then pull apart with thumbs.

I bang the fuckers on the side of my skillet. Trick is don't do it soft, you want a single, quick, forceful strike. This way the egg actually cracks open instead of just having fractures, then you pull the two halves apart, no need to press a finger into it or anything. Works perfectly every time.

I read this as "...side of my skull..." for a split second.