Hey Veeky Forums, what should I read to impress a girl?

Is she white, in her late teens or early to mid 20s, and vaguely middle class? If so, dfw. If not, I don't know.

Bukowski, Kerouac, Plath, Wilde, Vonnegut, Camus, they're into that kind of shit. Then have some hip contemporary shit like Rontel. Read a wide range of accessible poetry: Shakespeare, Blake, Shelley, stuff they've heard of but never actually checked out. And then round it out with a mixture of genuinely important classic literature, masturbatory postmodern novels, and obscure eastern european novels; stuff they're guaranteed to have never read which impresses them all the more cause you also supposedly like the bukowski kerouac stuff they like despite going beyond them.

You might as well just answer, "Read the same books that are your beloved's favourite books."

If I met someone who read the same obscure books as me I think I would melt.

Anything related to W40K

He said a girl, not a greasy neckbearded virgin who listens to black metal.

infinite jest

hey black metal's p cool

nothing you read will impress a girl, or anyone really. i'm a bit impressed when i hear about people taking on books with thousands of pages, but beyond that if someone's impressed by your intellect because you read The Stranger and you know what it's about, they're probably not all that smart or interesting themselves

Check out 'how not to be a little bitch'

Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs

The 120 Days of Sodom

OP it's real simple.

1.You ask for a recommendation
2.You read it (it will probably be terrible)
3.You then talk to the girl about the book (by talk I mean ask her questions and add very little)
4.You now have some rapport with this girl and her shit taste in books.

Bonus Points - Be man enough to say that it was shit, while not being an asshole.

not the first two, Bukowski is a red flag for any girl half-aware and not in some self-hating phase

Sappho?

Catullus?

what should I read to impress a guy?

What are these books even like? What happens in them? Is it just "Die for the Emperor" for ~450 pages?

why would you want to impress a guy

I'm a girl and just curious

>/thread

Don't try to impress her with a book. Rather start a journel and let her read the paradigms of your mind. It'll be less banal.

not sure. i was just joking. I do plan on getting around to reading some eventually.

guy here. depends on the guy. to me at least, I'd be a lot more interested in the person in general than the fact that they read Dostoevsky or something. but I'm a shy dude in general so I don't know about everyone else. just don't make reading your only selling point, I suppose.

A girl that, every once in a while, reads something that's not genre fiction is a great turn on by itself, if she were to actually understand what she's reading I'd be diamonds constantly

read romance

Every guy is different though. Most guys don't even read books. It would probably be best to read the kind of books the guy you want to impress likes, or, books that he considers challenging or intimidating. Or maybe it's just me who gets scared of hard books. What kind of books would a guy have to read to impress you?

Depends on the guy and if he reads.
But honestly, philosophy is the most common. In literature there are more authors seen as must reads so chances of having a similar lit taste isn't as large.
But with philosophy, you'll always read what the guy has been reading.
Also, Dostoevsky.

I'd legitimately be impressed by and instantly want to fuck a girl who has read the entire meme trilogy, even if she was fat, ugly, or both. I'm not even kidding.

Anything off the beaten path that you then form an independent opinion about. One of my exes got me into Kafka and I bought her Genealogy of the Morals in turn. Another introduced me to Gogol and in a roundabout way that lead to learning Russian a couple of years later.

More recently I argued the Sapir Worf hypothesis with a beautiful woman and although we didn't speak for a week due to how heated our debate got, I have to say it was intensely fun to rattle sabers like that.

In other words, decently attractive men run into pretty plebs regularly. If you want to stand out, develop your intellect and personality. Caveat-- this will make plebs uncomfortable and limit the pool you are interested in

mah_nigga.zip

the underlying hopes, worries, etc. behind her words; her facial expressions and body language; her emotional state

Depends. There are a lot of them. The Horus Heresey series is basically an edgelord 12 year old playing with the Illiad. Depending on the author theyre well writ nonsense and good palette cleansers between reads. Guant's Ghosts is Space Sharpe and Caiphus Cain is grimdark Flashman.

bank statement

stay mad, Holden

2nded

I think it's because I'm a virgin who don't really talk to them so my idea of girls is a distant "talk about whatever and hang out on their phone and have sleepovers (do they do that?)".

Whenever I see a girl with some kind of specialty, like she's carrying a violin case or she does sport at a high level or she talks with a russian accent, I instantly build a miniature biography of her in my head and it makes the girl stand out from other girls who could be extras in a big budget porn movie. It kind of validates this girl as a human and not just a part of the group I label "girls". All it takes is for this one girl to have something special, bordering on an autistic obsession that confirms she thinks and does stuff for herself.

It's literally the edgiest shit that exists. I remember laughing hysterically when I read an interview with Euronymous, where he said he was satisfied with church burnings because it stopped people from being joyful. Black metal is for gargantuan faggot edgelords exclusively. It's lame if you like it as a rebellious teen, hysterically pathetic if you like it as an adult.

Anything more complex than Twilight or Harry Potter. >tfw no reader gf

You shouldn't take black metal seriously.

The fault in our stars by John green.
Better yet, read fifty shades of grey and directly steal quotes from the main character and use them

From what i'v heard isn't 50 shades of grey wrote something like "I went to the shop and it was a sunny day and I bought ice cream and I had sex and it was kinky and dirty and"