Nostalgia

Was it Shake n Bake? That's what my mom did, and they were always shit and I hated it.

>that bun to burger ratio

Tuna Helper

Reminds me of being a kid and watching my sisters always fight (i'm the youngest of four older sisters). Usually the fights would involve knives and the police.

Parents were never home because they had to work. I was also extremely fat, but my parents weren't home to keep me from eating everything.

I snagged that from a yelp review of a restaurant. Person said that the burger was very small and dry. How hard is it to cook ground beef? How hard is it to use the right fat ratio while compensating for shrinkage by making a slightly bigger patty?

These are things that high school me figured out after a weekend of trial and error and 5 lbs of ground beef.

i too was poor but my mother made a point of buying name brand items, kinda like when you go to a fancy restaurant and get the second least expensive wine. It's trash but at least you're not drinking the house red

Wonderbread
French's yellow mustard
one leaf of iceberg lettuce
one slice of Oscar Meyer bologna (two if you were a good boy)
one Kraft single
one leaf iceberg lettuce
Hellmann's mayo
more Wonderbread

I ate these every day for lunch until I went to college. I wonder what kind of damage it did to my body

my mom liked "cream of potato soup"

it was basically warm milk with chopped cold vegetables

many memories of crunching away at it while my mom and dad fought and threw things

I didn't eat beans for about a decade because when I was 19 and in college, I was too poor to pay my electric bill, and I had to cook dry beans that my neighbor gave me over Sterno, in the dark, for a month. I shudder to even think about that.
I eat beans now just fine, though, that was a long time ago.

For me it is the McChicken. The best fast food sandwich.

my dad has primary agnosia which means he can't smell for no particular reason. Guess why he's a garbage man. Anyways, he can't smell food (except for some reason he can tell if someone is cooking italian food) so he is banished from the kitchen. He also bitches and moans when mom buys spices or nice wine because he doesn't see the point

kinda feel bad for him actually

Holy shit that's badass

My most depressing food memory- coming into Veeky Forums and reading this post.

That shitty rectangle pizza in school lunches. Tastes like a sponge with wax on top.

My mom refuses to use salt or any kind of seasoning. I found this out when I started cooking for myself and went to visit for dinner and wondered why her cooking tasted so off.

One time my dad bought this "frozen chinese meal kit" from costco. The egg rolls tasted so awful I threw up and couldn't eat egg rolls for years afterwards.

And lunch today. will be a breadtangle. of pizza.

when i was kid I thought i hated burgers, but the in realized that my moms idea of a burger was a well done beef patty with no seasoning at all.

Same with me and eggs. My mom cooked scrambled eggs until they turned into yellow-brown rubber

my rage possessed father smashed in my twin brothers skull with an economy sized can of bushs baked beans, splattering me with bits of brain matter and sweet molasses covered beans. I have never been able to perfectly recreate that taste experience, but now whenever I eat bushs baked beans I can feel the spirit of my brother inhabit me momentarily.

youtube.com/watch?v=s1X2b0kq9EE&feature=share

I was thinking about it today actually.

I lied a lot when I was little because being sorry about something was never enough to escape being screamed at for hours.

This led to situations where they wouldn't believe I was full, or didn't like something, and they'd force the food down my throat 'till I threw up.

oh yeah?

>low on milk, so mom pours milk into mine and my sister's bowl of cereal, let's it get a little soft, and the pours milk from our bowl into my mom and dad's bowl.
>I remember complaining about that, since i was an 8 year old ungrateful faggot

>mom gets a tumor, and me and dad are home alone while mom is in hospital for a few days.
>sister is out of state with friends
>i only knew how to cook different kinds of eggs, so that's all me and dad ate for a few days
>hard boiled
>over easy
>"window eggs" which was an egg on a piece of bread and toasted in the oven
>realize mom needs more surgery and time in hospital
>maybe another week
>give up on cooking at home and eat 7-11 hot dogs for next 6 days

>parents split up, and its a messy divorce
>stay with grandparents while everything settles down
>McDonald's every day
>dad gets an extended stay room at a motel 6
>go visit with him
>McDonald's in the same parking lot
>bring my N64 over and eat French fries while playing pokemon snap and Mario 64.

>they'd force the food down my throat 'till I threw up

some people really shouldn't be parents

The year was 1968. We were on recon in a steaming Mekong delta. An overheated private removed his flack jacket, revealing a T-shirt with an ironed-on sporting the MAD slogan "Up with Mini-skirts!". Well, we all had a good laugh, even though I didn't quite understand it. But our momentary lapse of concentration allowed "Charlie" to get the drop on us. I spent the next three years in a POW camp, forced to subsist on a thin stew made of fish, vegetables, prawns, coconut milk, and four kinds of rice. I came close to madness trying to find it here in the States, but they just can't get the spices right!

Most depressing food moment is a bit different than the rest of yours. I'm from the south and I've always loved cooking, the thing I always brought to any cookouts, potlucks, parties etc was collard greens. People loved my collard greens. Eventually I moved to the the Seattle area and got a girlfriend, told her all the time about how I wanted to bring her home and cook for her, eventually I did. So of course, one of the things I prepared for her were collard greens. Somehow, due to lack of practice for a while, I completely wrecked them. I misjudged the amount of water I would need so while I was leaving them to cook for a long time, the liquid reduced too much and they started to burn against the side of the pot, I also went full retard and mistakenly put in 10x more black pepper than was needed, so it just tasted like burnt, grassy pepper. It was very embarassing.

THAT'S your most depressing food moment? Fucking up some collard greens for your girlfriend?

Normalfag """""problems""""", everyone.

My parents also did this to me. They even took me to doctors who diagnosed me with bulimia. How fucking ignorant they were. Once i wouldn't drink yogurt so my dad emptied whole cup on my long black hair, it took me about an hour to wash and dry. I cried over tomatoes countless times. Even today i gag when i try to eat them raw. They would force me to sit at the table until i ate my food. It would end up with me trowing up.
I was never bulimic, i was abused

Kind of endearing that you credit your moms bad cooking with helping you learn to cook. My mom was the same. But she always found a way to provide for us, even if the meatloaf was always dry. Good on you, user.

Why do these threads always turn into child abuse threads?

That being said, to those of you who had to endure shitty parenting, I want to give you all a big hug. Nobody should ever have to go through that.

That is from the Simpsons right?
Sorry if this is obvious I haven't watched it too much.

My grandfather on his deathbed gave me ten euros nad told me to it on a good meal. Frikandel XXL speciaal it was because thats what i used to get my grandfather and myself whenever he didnt wanto cook.

To spend it.*

Once I was at burger king with my dad (I was about 11) and as we were eating my dad grabbed my head and slammed it against the table. His reasoning was that my "chewing pissed him off". Haven't been to a BK since then.

My parents were divorced by the time I turned 5 or so (oddly, they're remarried to each other, and the second marriage has lasted longer than the first). My mom put in an effort, at least - or was more open to just feeding me whatever the fuck I wanted, but my dad was horribly ill-equipped to handle the diet of a kid and is responsible for most of my food woes, despite actually being a good cook when he puts his mind to it.

Highlights:

Scrambled Eggs
>An egg or two in a coffee mug, whipped up and microwaved
>No salt, pepper, butter, or anything else
>Just an egg in a cup

Power Bars
>We're at Costco
>"Does anything look good, user?"
>See Power Bars, think they're candy bars
>Have to eat chocolate and apple cinnamon flavored protein workout supplement bars for breakfast every day for the next three months

Hawaiian Punch
>Second grade
>Dad finds out I haven't finished my two page paper on red foxes, it's due tomorrow
>In big trouble
>"Dad, I'm hungry"
>"user, you need to learn a lesson, if you're that hungry you can have half of this whole chicken in the fridge, and warm Hawaiian Punch"
>Uhhhh
>Eat it
>45 minutes later
>"Dad, I don't feel good"
>"You're just trying to get out of your report"
>"Dad, I don't feel good, really, please let me go to the bathroom"
>"No, put in the Encarta '95 CD and learn about foxes"
>Stare at my feet
>Power vomit hot red Hawaiian Punch & expired chicken all over everything in the computer room
>Run, looking for the bathroom
>Just a sprinting 8 year old vomiting red shit everywhere
>Had to replace all of the carpets and repaint the wall
>Dad still made me finish the report on foxes

r u the black guy from Fast & Furious 2?

Did he enjoy it? Sorry for your loss user.

Fuck you. Those were awesome. Maybe you went to a shitty school but my upper-middle class school district had nice cafeterias and they made sure those were nice and steaming hot with melted, gooey cheese. I don't care if it's just elementary school cafeteria food. I loved those and I'd eat them today if I could find some.

sounds horrible. i hope your stepdad got away from her

>Upper middle class

There you go. I went to a rural public school. Not really shitty but the pizza was

what the fuck

When I was 9 I went to my friend's house for a slumber party. We never hung out outside of school, and this will be the last time. Their parents didn't give a shit and expect us to all be able to feed ourselves. They basically hung out in the background smoking and drinking. You can't expect a group of 9 yrs olds to properly feed themselves.

The cake the mom made was awful. Your basic cake from a box, but some how she made it all taste like tinfoil. It hurt my teeth with every bite.

The next morning there was no food in that fucking house. No bread, fruit, cereal, milk, eggs you name it. All that was left was some of that sick tin cake. My friend was so happy. It seemed the kid wasn't use to food being on hand in the morning.

I left the party feeling hungry, tired, nausea (from all the smoke) and feeling so sad that my friend had the worst parents.

>when you're a kid, burgers don't happen every day- so when burger day does come around, it doesn't matter that your mom tried to split 1lb of cheap ground beef between the whole family. You just slathered that fucker in ketchup

>ketchup

You are fucking gross. Ketchup goes with the fries, at best. Ketchup in/on a burger (as a sandwich composition) is grounds for execution.

Those were never awesome, they were just one of the lesser terrible things you got, so your memory of them is positive. In reality, they were absolute shit.

Ketchup and mayo mother fucker.

Knock off brand macaroni and cheese. I actually had to gripe at my mom when I was like 8 years old and beg to not make any macaroni and cheese anymore. It was awful.

Well fuckin pardon me for not getting out the grey poupon faggot.
Kids put ketchup on burgers.
That's what they do.

I gave my boss a handjob for 40 bucks to buy my man spice ( he was addicted), went home to the fridge to get some dinner and all was there was some slow cooker stuff from the week previous. Two more days to payday, we will sell our blood plasma. I ate it, got sick that night. Donated plasma the next day. Felt so bad, like i might die. Went to work the following day at a grocery store where i got most of my calories from a snatched wing or cookie.

Dont let love and addiction mix guys, the pain is too sweet.

yesh mein fuhrer

My mom was the worst cook I've ever dealt with. There's a lot of times here stupidity and cooking dumb founded me but the worst has to be the time she boiled ribs and put McDonald's BBQ sauce on it. She then put it in the oven for like 10 minutes and it looked horrifying. I just went back to my room and contemplated how dumb someone had to be to think that was a good idea. The worst thing about it all is that she has a "I'm so fucking smart and better than you" Peggy Hill kind of attitude.

>Well fuckin pardon me for not getting out the grey poupon faggot.
I like you user

If your burger was a burnt hockey puck and your age was

my mom was not a good cook, but she acted like she was

she was very proud of herself for not following recipes, and in the process created many abominations

>Scrambled Eggs
>An egg or two in a coffee mug, whipped up nd microwaved
>No salt, pepper, butter, or anything else
>Just an egg in a cup
There's a specific mug at my parents house i can never drink from because my dad used to microwave eggs in it and call it breakfast.

>What is your most depressing memory about food that you can remember?

Gee, I wonder

well I didn't have anything super depressing, we were pretty poor but my folks weren't abusive or anything. I guess my saddest food memory is a tie between:

>in about 7th grade or so
>almost to the age where birthdays are no longer a big deal in my family, but not quite
>big annual folk festival falls right around my birthday
>mom goes even though it's out of state because it's the most money she makes off crafts all year, keeps us going for a while
>dad stays home with me but he can't bake for shit
>end up baking my own birthday cake

and

>in high school
>at this time mom and dad were doing arts and crafts full time together and making a very meager living
>times were rough but they were much happier doing that than trying to work regular jobs
>dad hits head, becomes disabled, can't concentrate or anything
>mom is trying to carry on by herself while taking care of him and my shitheel teenage ass
>minister of our local methodist church keeps getting brought food by well-meaning congregation members
>she stops by every so often and drops off food for us because we are among the poorest families in the parish
>we're glad to have it but dang

again, nothing like being smacked around or anything. but a bit of a bummer anyways.

Dude I loved those, I would peel all the cheese off and eat it first then roll the crust up and eat it.

Seattle is full of those fucking retards. I can't wait to leave.

Is your dad retarded or something?
Why couldn't he learn to cook something instead of his child?

Lmao go to bed, me.

Fox on the run

>mfw home situation wasn't sunshine and rainbows but wasn't an HBO original drama either

Those were edible. The depressing shit was the Jamaican beef patties that made the entire cafeteria smell like the bathroom at a baseball stadium. It was years before I found out that the cafeteria was just grossly incompetent and Jamaican beef patties are normally good.

My mom was terrible at cooking too, since I'm alone I've learned a lot and all my friends are really happy to eat at my house and asks to come eat again.

I grew up in a shitty industrial town in the UK. My parents both worked at a tea packaging factory and got cheap deals on teabags, so everyday I was forced to drink at least 5 mugs of tea 'because we have to use it before the leaves expire' (my dad and mum both think that tea leaves expire in autumn because that is when leaves fall off trees, in autumn they use frozen tea leaves). Anyway, they always made tea with

1. At least half a mug of milk
2. At least 3 spoons (table) of sugar
3. A lemon slice
4. At least 3 biscuits for dipping

I don't know how bad this was for me but I was a fat fucking child. Sometimes for my school dinner all I had in my lunchbox was biscuits and a teabag. I still hate tea, and drink coffee, sometimes with pictures of my parents that I dunk in and eat as petty revenge (they died last year in a car crash, apparently they spilled sugar whilst making tea in the car and lost control of the wheel, so I can't actually tell them how I feel)

>>See Power Bars, think they're candy bars
They are though. I loved those things as a kid. Mom used to keep some around since she was a n athlete. I would sneak them all the time.

Jesus fuck, somebody screen cap this.

i was with you until the last line

...

Probably the time my now stepfather moved in with me and my mom.
>17 years old, still went to school but was a basically a NEET
>Played videogames all day long when not in school, was generally a social shut in and skipped school a lot
>He hated me and always tried to gain dominance over me, I hated him for treating me like shit and acting like he owned the place me and my mom lived in for 8 years
>I wasn't alowed to do shit and wasn't really allowed anywhere but in my room
>He was a good cook but didn't cook for me
>I had to sneak in the kitchen at midnight eating toast with just a little bit of salami because if I took more he would notice and give me shit for it/cut my internet
>Toast with salami just makes me sad now.

I've seen you post before, I'm guessing you're that tip-with-a-rip guy as well?

And yet you blame him for your misery and not your mother who basically betrayed and let it all happen?

>toddler
>mom makes breakfast for dinner
>burns the fuck out of the eggs, completely brown outside
>take 1 bute, dont like burnt taste
>tell mom I dont like eggs
>she starts yelling
>I start crying
>she picks up my plate, dumps the eggs on my head and cracks the plate over my head

Nowadays she wonders why every member of the family needs a therapist

Can't blame her for not wanting to be alone anymore, she was for a long time. I still felt completely neglected and would have probably killed myself if I didn't happen to somehow, despite all the odds get a girlfriend.
I basically lived at her house from that point on and when we eventually broke up, the first thing I did was moving out and punching my stepfather in the face.

Not gonna lie. That burned up husk of a burger still looks delicious.

>don't blame the guy who is directly causing you harm and sounds like an awful piece of trash
>blame your mom for marrying him
wat
are you retarded?

It's /r9k/ mentality

Both of them are at fault, you retard. The fact that his mother would stay with someone who treats her kid like shit makes her almost as big of a piece of shit as the guy.
Use your brain once in a while.

He was 17 and a fucking neet. if user's stepdad wasn't hard on him user would never have grown up. Hell he even got user laid. It's not like he beat him or his mother. To be honest I bet he did that stuff because his mother would complain about it to him and he thought a firm hand would help.

I bet he would have been a lot cooler with him if user had a part time job and contributed instead of just holing himself up in a room skipping school and playing video games.

Nice assumptions there, boyo.

>Best damn ice cream he ever ate and now eating ice cream reminds him of a burning city

God damn

>be me 14-15
>moved to dad's who just got a new girlfriend
>he's never home, house filthy and no food
>lived dead across the street from one of those shopping centers w a grocery store at the heart and little shops/restaurants on the side
>started stealing premade food from food lion, ended up being most fond of the deli sandwiches (italian was my favorite)
>lived off the food lion deli until i found out other grocery stores had other food i could steal (discovered harris teeter sushi)

Actually now that i think of it it wasn't depressing at all i was fuckin gettin it steal a tall boy and dinner and be good for the night. Smoke a bowl and watch youtube videos all night.

Still fuck with an italian sub heavy, especially the hot ones. Never had a better sub than firehouse

WE FINALLY GOT HIM BOYS, TAKE HIM DOWN

>pardon me for not getting out the grey poupon faggot
Pardon you for what is exactly the problem? No.

>Kids put ketchup on burgers.
I realize most kids are retarded, but that doesn't make it ok. I have never put ketchup on a burger. Its mustard or mayo. So go back in time and fix your shit.

My mom would make hamburger patties with oats and serve it with canned cream corn. It was the worst.

Making my own birthday food is the highlight of my birthdays, I used to make a cake for myself every year but I've started buying more expensive ingredients and put the afternoon into cooking a dinner I can really enjoy instead.

>get physically abused by dad
>school sees bruises, calls CPS
>get put in foster homes
>major daddy issues
>major everything issues really
>try to get foster dad to let me blow him
>when they deny, act a shit until placed in new home
>after three times, fourth finally gives in to pressure
>around 13 years old
>suck him off for months, love every second of it
>keep suggesting and teasing anal, but he won't cross that line
>late friday night, eating lukewarm domino's pizza and playing star fox 64
>he comes into my room, drunk, with a tub of vaseline
>proceeds to brutally fuck me while star fox 64 plays in the background
>fucked me so long and hard I nearly passed out, had several internal orgasms
>after finishing he pulls out and goes to his room
>clean myself up and fap/cum until my dick is raw, continue eating (now cold) pizza and try to play more star fox, but too exhausted, fall asleep while playing with a slice of pizza on my lap
>next morning he apologizes, actually crying and telling me he's abusing me and it'll never happen again
>don't say anything, totally confused because I loved it
>he goes back to his bedroom, hear sobbing
>take vaseline tub to his room
>he tries to make me leave
>tell him I want it, badly, it was everything I've wanted
>he finally gives in
>we spend the entire weekend practically non-stop fucking

Now every time I eat domino's or hear star fox 64 music/sound effects I get rock hard. We also still fuck regularly. He's a great guy, taught me lots of stuff, best dad I could ask for even without the sex.

...

Nostalgia - a wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one's life, to one's home or homeland, or to one's family and friends; a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time

Try Ellio's frozen pizza. It's the same pretty much.

Hmmm

Had to google image search that, read up on it. There were no other kids, certainly no drugging, and if anyone could be considered "raped" it'd probably be him. In the beginning it was almost entirely me forcing him to let me use him, his desperation and loneliness allowed it. Don't know what triggered the dominance that first time aside from liquid courage, but after that weekend he seemed over whatever hangups were making him feel guilt or shame.